When Men Behave Badly book cover

When Men Behave Badly by David M. Buss Summary

When Men Behave Badly
David M. Buss
4.09 (869 Reviews)
Psychology
Science
Society
Relationship
Overview
Key Takeaways
Author
FAQs

Overview of When Men Behave Badly

Evolutionary psychologist David Buss exposes the dark roots of sexual misconduct through science. Endorsed by Steven Pinker and Jonathan Haidt as "the long lost operating manual" for human mating, this unflinching guide reveals why "attractive" Dark Triad traits often mask dangerous predators.

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Key Takeaways from When Men Behave Badly

  1. Sexual conflict theory explains male deception, control, and violence as evolved mating strategies.
  2. Dark Triad traits predict higher rates of sexual coercion, infidelity, and intimate partner violence.
  3. Men assess women’s “sexual exploitability” through subconscious cues like gait and vulnerability.
  4. Evolutionary mismatches amplify modern dating conflicts through outdated mating psychology adaptations.
  5. Mate value discrepancies drive manipulation, jealousy, and mate-guarding behaviors in relationships.
  6. Sexual over-perception bias leads men to misinterpret women’s friendliness as sexual interest.
  7. Women with Dark Triad traits use strategic promiscuity and mate-poaching tactics for resource gain.
  8. Stalking and revenge porn stem from evolved mate-retention strategies gone maladaptive.
  9. Predatory men target vulnerable women using alcohol, emotional manipulation, and isolation tactics.
  10. Jealousy functions as mate-protection insurance but escalates to violence when unchecked.
  11. Sexual conflict arises from biological asymmetries in parental investment and reproductive strategies.
  12. David Buss reveals how evolutionary psychology explains #MeToo-era power dynamics and gender conflicts.

Overview of its author - David M. Buss

David Michael Buss, renowned evolutionary psychologist and author of When Men Behave Badly: The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment, and Assault, is a leading authority on human mating strategies and evolutionary psychology.

A professor at the University of Texas at Austin with a PhD from UC Berkeley, Buss has shaped the field through seminal works like The Evolution of Desire and Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind, which won the Robert W. Hamilton Book Award.

His research on sex differences, jealousy, and conflict between genders spans 37 cultures, cementing his status as a pioneer in cross-cultural psychology. Buss’s work has earned accolades including the APA Distinguished Scientific Award and influenced academic curricula worldwide.

When Men Behave Badly builds on his decades of groundbreaking studies, offering evolutionary insights into modern sexual dynamics. His frameworks are cited in over 200 scientific articles and applied in disciplines from forensic psychology to organizational behavior.

Buss’s research collaborations extend across six continents, with findings featured in major media outlets and keynote lectures at institutions like Harvard and the Sorbonne.

Common FAQs of When Men Behave Badly

What is When Men Behave Badly by David M. Buss about?

When Men Behave Badly explores the evolutionary roots of harmful male behaviors like sexual deception, harassment, infidelity, and intimate partner violence. Using evolutionary psychology, David Buss argues these actions stem from conflicts in reproductive strategies between sexes, backed by cross-cultural studies, animal analogies, and real-world anecdotes.

Who should read When Men Behave Badly?

This book suits readers interested in psychology, gender dynamics, or relationships. It’s valuable for professionals in counseling, sociology, or law enforcement seeking insights into male aggression and strategies to mitigate interpersonal conflict. Fans of evolutionary psychology or books like The Evolution of Desire will appreciate Buss’s research-driven approach.

Is When Men Behave Badly worth reading?

Yes, for its rigorous analysis of sexual conflict through an evolutionary lens. Buss combines academic studies with relatable stories, offering actionable advice to reduce harmful behaviors. Critics praise its bold challenge to social science dogmas, though some note its focus on male culpability over systemic factors.

What is the Sexual Conflict Theory in When Men Behave Badly?

Buss’s theory posits that men and women face inherent conflicts in mating strategies: men often prioritize short-term sexual access, while women seek long-term resource provision. These mismatched goals drive deception, jealousy, and coercion, perpetuating costly interpersonal struggles.

How does When Men Behave Badly explain male deception?

Men may feign emotional commitment or financial status to attract partners, a tactic evolutionarily tied to maximizing reproductive success. Buss highlights studies showing men with Dark Triad traits (narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy) are more likely to exploit women through dishonesty.

What does When Men Behave Badly say about infidelity?

Infidelity triggers intense conflict due to evolutionary risks: men fear paternal uncertainty, while women risk losing resources. Buss cites cross-cultural data on secret affairs, mate-guarding behaviors, and revenge tactics like revenge porn post-breakup.

How does David Buss address intimate partner violence (IPV)?

Buss links IPV to evolutionary triggers like mate value discrepancies (e.g., older men with younger partners) and suspicions of infidelity. He argues controlling behaviors, from surveillance to physical abuse, often stem from perceived threats to reproductive interests.

What practical advice does When Men Behave Badly offer?
  • For women: Recognize “exploitability signals” (e.g., low self-esteem) that predatory men target.
  • For men: Channel competitive instincts into non-harmful domains (e.g., career).
  • For couples: Align on long-term goals to reduce strategic mismatches.
How does When Men Behave Badly critique feminist and Red Pill perspectives?

Buss rejects feminist claims that patriarchy alone explains male aggression, arguing evolutionary roots predate culture. Conversely, he dismisses Red Pill ideologies that glorify manipulation, emphasizing their costs to women and men’s long-term reputations.

What criticisms exist about When Men Behave Badly?

Some scholars argue Buss overstates evolutionary explanations while underplaying cultural factors like media or economic inequality. Others note the book’s heteronormative focus and limited discussion of female-initiated conflict.

How does When Men Behave Badly use cross-cultural examples?

Buss compares stalking rates in the U.S. vs. Japan, bride-kidnapping in Central Asia, and honor killings in patriarchal societies to demonstrate universal vs. culturally specific manifestations of sexual conflict.

What awards has David M. Buss won?

Buss received the APA Distinguished Scientific Award (1988), G. Stanley Hall Lectureship (1990), and Robert W. Hamilton Book Award (2000) for Evolutionary Psychology. His work is cited in over 200 articles and six books.

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Key takeaways

1

Why Men and Women Keep Misreading Each Other

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Picture a woman smiling politely at a colleague's joke during a work meeting. He interprets this as romantic interest and asks her out, leaving her confused and uncomfortable. She was just being professional; he thought she was flirting. This everyday scenario reveals something profound: men and women are playing the same game with different rulebooks, and neither fully understands what the other is reading. The roots of this confusion stretch back far deeper than modern dating culture or workplace dynamics. Sexual conflict emerged 1.3 billion years ago with sexual reproduction itself, creating an endless evolutionary chess match between males and females across species. Consider the spider that wraps worthless items in silk to trick females into mating-and the females who evolved better fraud detection in response. This back-and-forth pattern, what scientists call a coevolutionary arms race, drives much of the tension between human men and women today. The core issue is biological asymmetry. Women invest nine months of pregnancy, years of nursing, and immense physical resources into each child. Men contribute DNA and, ideally, protection and resources-but biologically, they could reproduce with minimal investment. This creates fundamentally different optimal strategies: women generally prefer longer courtship to assess a partner's full value, while men often prefer faster sexual access. Neither strategy is wrong, but they pull in opposite directions, creating friction at every turn. Both sexes pay heavy costs in this conflict, not through clear victories but through constant defensive vigilance and missed opportunities.

2

The Mating Market's Hall of Mirrors

3

When Commitment Becomes a Battlefield

4

The Dark Side of Love: Violence and Control

5

After the Breakup: Stalking and Revenge

6

The Spectrum of Sexual Coercion and Women's Defenses

7

Building Bridges Toward Real Understanding

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