What We Say Matters by Judith Hanson Lasater & Ike K. Lasater Summary

What We Say Matters explores the intersection of yoga philosophy and mindful communication, offering practical tools for fostering empathy and connection. Co-authored with her daughter Lizzie Lasater, the book integrates Nonviolent Communication (NVC) principles with yogic teachings like the Yamas and Niyamas, emphasizing how language shapes relationships. It includes exercises to help readers replace habitual reactions with conscious, compassionate dialogue.

This book is ideal for yoga practitioners, teachers, and anyone seeking to improve personal or professional relationships through mindful speech. It’s particularly valuable for those interested in blending Eastern philosophy with modern communication techniques, as well as individuals navigating conflicts or leadership roles.

Yes, the book is praised for its actionable insights into transforming communication patterns. It provides a unique synthesis of yoga ethics and NVC, supported by real-life examples and reflective practices. Readers gain frameworks to cultivate authenticity and reduce interpersonal friction, making it a standout resource in personal development literature.

• Nonviolent Communication (NVC): A method for expressing needs without blame.
• Yamas/Niyamas: Ethical guidelines from yoga philosophy, such as Satya (truthfulness) and Ahimsa (non-harm).
• Mindful Listening: Techniques to engage empathetically, avoiding reactive responses.

The book bridges these concepts to help readers align speech with intention.

• “Words can either deepen connection or create separation.”
• “Listening is an act of love, not just a skill.”

These quotes underscore the book’s focus on speech as a tool for healing rather than conflict.

Some readers note that the integration of yoga philosophy may feel niche for those unfamiliar with Eastern practices. Additionally, the NVC framework requires consistent practice to master, which could challenge readers seeking quick fixes.

The book teaches reframing judgments into observations and expressing needs clearly. For example, replacing “You’re irresponsible” with “I feel anxious when deadlines are missed” reduces defensiveness. Such shifts foster mutual understanding and trust in personal or professional settings.

Unlike Crucial Conversations (focused on workplace dynamics) or Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication, this book uniquely ties communication to yoga ethics. It’s ideal for readers seeking a spiritual dimension to interpersonal skills.

In an era dominated by digital communication and polarization, the book’s emphasis on empathy and mindfulness addresses modern challenges like miscommunication on social media and remote work conflicts. Its principles promote clarity and compassion in fast-paced environments.

Lasater draws on 50+ years as a yoga teacher, physical therapist, and Ph.D. in East-West Psychology. Her deep understanding of body-mind connection and ethical living informs the book’s practical yet philosophically rich approach.

• Prioritize listening over reacting.
• Use “I” statements to express feelings without blame.
• Align speech with core values like kindness and honesty.

These practices help build more authentic connections.

The book’s frameworks help teams navigate feedback, resolve conflicts, and foster psychological safety. For instance, applying Satya (truthfulness) encourages transparent yet respectful dialogue, improving collaboration and reducing misunderstandings.

The book blends theory, personal anecdotes, and exercises like journal prompts and role-playing scenarios. Each chapter focuses on a specific Yama or Niyama, paired with NVC techniques, creating a roadmap for incremental growth.

By internalizing its principles, readers often report improved emotional resilience, stronger relationships, and heightened self-awareness. The integration of mindfulness and communication fosters lasting habits of intentional living.