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When I wrote my article "Why Women Still Can’t Have It All" for the _Atlantic_, I never anticipated the overwhelming response it would receive. The piece resonated with millions, but it also sparked a flurry of criticisms and misunderstandings. In "Unfinished Business: Women Men Work Family," I aim to expand on that central message, address the criticisms, and provide a more comprehensive framework for understanding the challenges faced by all working parents, not just women. The idea of "having it all" has become a mantra, a half-truth that promises a perfect balance between career and family if you are just committed enough, marry the right person, or sequence it right. However, these half-truths are damaging. They lead to feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and shame for those who cannot manage this balancing act. Let's break down these half-truths. First, "you can have it all if you are just committed enough to your career." This implies that with enough dedication, you can effortlessly juggle work and family. But what about the inevitable moments when your carefully constructed balance topples over? What about the times when your child is sick, or your aging parent needs care? The reality is far more complex. Second, "you can have it all if you marry the right person." This suggests that having a supportive spouse is all you need. But what if your spouse has their own career ambitions? What if you stay married but your preferences regarding work and family change after having children or caring for aging parents? The assumption that one person can defer their career to yours is unrealistic and unfair. Third, "you can have it all if you sequence it right." This implies that if you time your career and family milestones perfectly, everything will fall into place. But life is unpredictable. Sequencing is not a foolproof plan; it is a fragile balance that can be disrupted at any moment. These half-truths are not just misleading; they are harmful. They create unrealistic expectations and ignore the systemic issues that make balancing work and family so difficult. We need to move beyond these mantras and confront the real challenges head-on.