Under Pressure by Lisa Damour Summary

Under Pressure examines the rising epidemic of stress and anxiety in teenage girls, exploring causes like academic competition, social media, and cultural expectations. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, offers research-backed strategies to help girls build resilience, distinguish healthy stress from toxic anxiety, and navigate pressures at school, home, and in relationships. The book combines case studies, psychological insights, and practical advice for parents and educators.

This book is essential for parents, educators, and mentors of teenage girls, as well as mental health professionals. It provides actionable tools to address modern challenges like cyberbullying, academic overload, and societal double standards. Damour’s accessible writing also makes it valuable for anyone seeking to understand adolescent development or support girls’ emotional well-being.

Yes—Damour blends clinical expertise with relatable examples, offering evidence-based solutions to mitigate anxiety. Her focus on reframing stress as a growth tool and addressing systemic issues like rape culture makes it a timely resource. However, critics note its examples may skew toward privileged demographics, limiting applicability for some readers.

Damour compares healthy stress to weightlifting: manageable challenges that build resilience. Toxic anxiety arises when pressures (e.g., academic perfectionism, social media comparisons) exceed coping capacity. She advises parents to help girls embrace “stretch zones” while avoiding overwhelming demands, emphasizing sleep, downtime, and problem-solving skills.

Damour advocates balancing high standards with self-care: prioritizing sleep, scheduling downtime, and reframing failures as learning opportunities. She warns against overscheduling and encourages parents to model healthy boundaries. For example, she critiques schools that prioritize achievement over well-being.

Cultural expectations—like prioritizing agreeableness over assertiveness—force girls into impossible standards. Damour highlights how girls internalize criticism about speech patterns (“vocal fry”) or appearance, while societal tolerance of sexual harassment exacerbates trauma. These pressures often lead to burnout and self-doubt.

Damour argues avoidance amplifies anxiety by reinforcing fear. In one case, a girl sought to skip a chemistry test due to panic. Damour encouraged facing the challenge, explaining that short-term discomfort builds long-term confidence. Avoidance deprives girls of evidence they can handle stress.

The book critiques “rape culture” for normalizing harassment, which 85% of teen girls experience. Damour advises parents to validate girls’ experiences, challenge victim-blaming narratives, and teach assertiveness. She also emphasizes institutional accountability, like schools enforcing anti-harassment policies.

Some argue Damour’s solutions (e.g., elite-school examples) assume resource access, overlooking marginalized communities. Others note the book focuses more on individual coping than systemic change. However, its practical frameworks for communication and stress management remain widely praised.

While Untangled outlines developmental stages of girlhood, Under Pressure delves deeper into societal stressors like digital culture and academic burnout. Both emphasize parent-daughter communication, but Under Pressure offers more crisis-management tools, reflecting evolving challenges post-2016.

With social media and academic competition intensifying, Damour’s advice on combating perfectionism, fostering resilience, and addressing cyberbullying remains critical. The book’s focus on mental health aligns with growing awareness of adolescent crises, making it a staple for modern parenting.

• “Stress becomes toxic when it outpaces a girl’s capacity to cope.”
• “Anxiety is a call to action, not a life sentence.”

These lines encapsulate Damour’s approach: validating emotions while empowering girls to confront challenges.