Chapter 4
Breaking Free from Social Conditioning
Thick Face, Black Heart isn't merely manipulation for personal advantage but our natural state of being, lost through socialization and others' expectations. Reclaiming this state requires unlearning imposed rules about how we should behave and feel.
From childhood, we're conditioned to seek others' approval, confusing virtue with pleasing others. This creates ineffective behavior patterns where we sacrifice our needs to appear "nice." Consider the author's costly lesson: after generously sharing valuable media contacts with a businessman named Jim, she was manipulated into purchasing his $300 newsletter subscription. Jim, a master of Thick Face, Black Heart, pursued his objective without concern for her subtle refusals, while she failed to value her own contribution. The author should have proposed a fair exchange-her contacts worth $10,000 for $33,000 worth of speaking bookings-rather than giving away valuable resources in pursuit of appearing "nice."
To break free from these constraints, we must search for our own inner conviction rather than following arbitrary social standards. The principle of "turning the other cheek" illustrates how our actions must stem from genuine inner conviction rather than social conditioning. When someone wrongs you, responding with submission might reflect true understanding, fear, or mere conformity to others' standards. A Thick Face, Black Heart practitioner recognizes that striking back doesn't necessarily make you immoral-sometimes punishing violent behavior serves as peacemaking.
We must also understand the complementary nature of strength and flexibility. All things contain opposing yet complementary forces-Yin and Yang. The ideal practitioner maintains inner strength while adapting outwardly-dominating or submitting as needed. Like the Asian hunter who dresses as a pig to catch a tiger (Strategy 27 from "The 36 Strategies"), true heroes endure temporary humiliation to achieve victory.
Self-understanding provides more reliable guidance than arbitrary standards. By examining yourself, you'll discover many taught concepts were actually correct, but they'll become personal convictions rather than external rules. This self-discovery frees you from needing others' approval, allowing your authentic self to emerge and thrive-like Coco Chanel, whose unique style initially faced criticism but eventually revolutionized fashion.
Breaking the bondage of fear-particularly fear of success-is essential. Though we claim to desire wealth and achievement, these require abandoning familiar circumstances for uncertainty. Most people merely go through success motions while fearing actual change. Success demands risking both failure and public disapproval. Independent thought and exceptional endeavors typically face skepticism or outrage. True success requires inner strength and unshakable conviction to persevere against this resistance.
Chapter 5
Dharma: The Foundation of Right Action
Dharma forms the foundation of Thick Face, Black Heart practice, guiding practitioners to recognize their duty in any given circumstance. It represents the divine coherence of the universe and the sustaining force that supports life.
The Sanskrit root word "dhar" means "to support, uphold, and nourish." Dharma means acting in accordance with one's duty based on one's station in life-a warrior's dharma differs from a physician's, yet both are correct when followed properly. Without dharma awareness, one risks becoming an unconscionable Thick Face, Black Heart practitioner who wins at all costs without regard for consequences.
Those who practice Dharma accept life as it comes and perform their duty accordingly. Like the frog who survived by churning milk into butter through persistent swimming, Dharma rewards those who persevere. The story of Leslie illustrates this-her commitment to bookkeeping integrity led her to report theft to the company owner, who rewarded her loyalty by selling her the business. Thick Face, Black Heart practitioners constantly question "What is my Dharma at this moment?" to ensure their actions align with natural law.
Different roles carry different dharmic responsibilities. A debtor's dharma is to demonstrate goodwill and intent to repay while making necessary sacrifices without destroying recovery possibilities. A creditor's dharma is to allow debt restructuring so the debtor can maintain basic living and eventually repay. A warrior's dharma, like George at the Pentagon, is to serve as a military strategist despite potential moral conflicts. A soldier's dharma isn't about collecting benefits but defending the nation when needed-even if that means killing or being killed.
We are all warriors in life's eternal battle. From birth, we're committed to winning life's struggles by confronting inner negativities and outer realities. Nothing is truly hard or easy-competition for survival is life's condition. It is our dharma to fight life's battles courageously and righteously, not to seek an easy path or avoid necessary confrontation.
When you feel stuck in your work, continue with dedication as you weren't placed there by accident. Your commitment to present work builds experience that becomes a springboard for your greater destiny. By performing my consulting work faithfully despite feeling something was missing, I discovered my true calling as a writer sharing Oriental wisdom. By being aware of the Divine plan for your life, you'll tune into incidents that reveal your fate.
Once you've done everything within your power, graciously accept the outcome. As Sun Tzu noted, "The opportunity for victory is provided by the enemy." After exhausting all efforts, we must surrender to the outcome and proceed. Chinese wisdom teaches that human efforts pale compared to Heaven's plan.
Chapter 6
Embracing Your Natural State
Contrary to decades of being told we must change negative attitudes to positive ones before succeeding, you can actually succeed exactly as you are. Most supposedly positive people aren't genuinely positive all the time-they simply pretend to be. No one is purely positive or negative, yet the pressure to appear optimistic creates unnecessary self-doubt. Success comes to both negative and positive people alike; it doesn't discriminate based on attitude.
Each of us has been given a death sentence from birth-only the date remains unknown. Between birth and death, we simply do our best with what we have. If we act to the best of our abilities, we fulfill our bargain with our Creator. Success follows no consistent pattern, coming to negative people like Mark Twain and Elizabeth Taylor as readily as to positive ones. Tracy, Bogart, Monroe, and Hemingway all achieved remarkable success despite-or because of-their "negative" personalities.
Even apparent liabilities can become assets. Like Chris, whose wide-ranging knowledge initially hindered his career focus, you can transform perceived weaknesses into strengths. By adding structure to his natural learning ability through an MBA program, Chris finally achieved his dream position.
We're programmed to believe success requires positivity, causing us to waste energy trying to change rather than focusing on achievement. If your inner voice says "you can't do it," don't fight back-simply ignore it. You can be as negative as you want while still doing what's necessary to succeed, like Bette Midler who laughs openly about her pessimism.
So-called "negative" people are often the most realistic. Excessive optimism can be dangerous-a CEO or military general can't afford that luxury as it leads to failure. The coach and quarterback need realistic assessments of opponents, not just cheerleader enthusiasm. T. Boone Pickens notes that most geologists fail because they're too optimistic.
Don't waste energy fighting your negative traits-harness them. Transform jealousy into motivation to surpass others. Channel anger at injustice into determination to succeed. Expand greed beyond material possessions toward success and knowing God. Convert worry into action. Whatever your negativities, find ways to use them as fuel for achievement.
The Australian wombat teaches us to use our "negative features" as strengths. This slow-moving, thick-skinned creature defends itself by turning its apparent weaknesses into advantages-using its thick skin and heavy body to crush predators against its cave ceiling. Whatever your negativity is, make it pay for itself.
Chapter 7
The Power of Endurance
When facing despair and feeling insignificant, we can find wisdom in ancient teachings. Chuang Tzu's 2,200-year-old fable of the Pung bird reveals that those destined for greatness require extensive preparation. Just as the massive Pung must rise 90,000 kilometers before beginning its journey south-enduring ridicule from lesser birds-we too must develop powers of endurance in the face of criticism to achieve our goals.
We typically judge success by speed-the fastest horse wins, the quickest student excels. Rarely are we given time to cultivate ourselves, even when that cultivation would yield greater results. Like the Pung bird, extraordinary visions require enduring criticism from "lesser birds." Fortunately, ultimate success is judged at life's end. As long as we have strength to endure self-cultivation, victory belongs to those who persist.
"Defeat is the mother of success" is a Chinese maxim taught from childhood. Abraham Lincoln exemplifies this principle-he failed in business at 21, lost legislative races at 22, suffered a nervous breakdown at 27, and lost congressional, senatorial, and vice-presidential races throughout his life before finally becoming the 16th president at 52. Despite repeated rejection, Lincoln maintained his courage and marched toward his destiny, often joking about his defeats: "I feel just like the boy who stubbed his toe-too damned badly hurt to laugh and too damned proud to cry."
When asked how to endure, an Asian elder simply answered, "You endure by enduring." Asian cultures aren't necessarily more patient-they've developed an infinite capacity to endure the unendurable. As a Chinese maxim states: "Understanding the difficulties, enduring the hardships, predicting the risks, tolerating the abuse; for such a person, all ensure fame and success."
True greatness isn't about being a knight in shining armor slaying dragons-an image cherished by corporate climbers. Greatness comes from knowing how to suffer the insufferable and endure the unendurable. Anyone can thrive in good times, but trying times reveal who has substance versus who merely possesses image. Through trials and tribulations, one endures by enduring, allowing the human spirit to triumph over itself.
Lincoln, perhaps America's greatest president, embodied Thick Face, Black Heart despite being described as insecure, shy, depressed, and self-doubting. He mastered detachment by leaving his father's impoverished world at twenty-one and never returning, even skipping his father's funeral. During the Civil War, he withstood massive criticism and hate mail, growing "blacker" as the war darkened-imprisoning thousands without trial and embracing martial law when necessary. His personal history of enduring tragedies gave him the strength to carry the nation through its darkest hour.
Chapter 8
Navigating the Mystery of Money
Money, while not the complete reward of a Thick Face, Black Heart practitioner, remains important to most people. The Chinese character for money combines three symbols: one for gold and two for spears. The character for poverty depicts a man standing at the bottom of a pit, bent under a great burden. These symbols reveal the dual nature of the struggle surrounding money.
The first spear symbolizes the outward struggle for survival. Earth's abundance isn't equitably distributed among billions of people. Throughout history, nations have battled for resources, while individuals engage in less bloody but equally ruthless conflicts. In modern society, this primarily takes the form of the struggle for money. Even brilliant businesses, politicians, or artistic projects fail without adequate funding. Yet, success is possible with minimal capital-Nolan Bushnell founded Atari with only $500, later selling it for $28 million.
The second spear represents the internal battle. Poverty is more a state of mind than an external condition. Most people struggle for small rewards because they believe they're unworthy of life's finer things. You must transform your mindset: you deserve whatever material rewards you seek, provided you acquire them honestly and honorably.
A story tells of a holy man escorted through heaven, who saw a hall filled with gifts. The angels explained these were things people prayed for but quit seeking right before delivery. Our Divine Maker never prevents us from possessing worthy gifts-our own lack of faith in our worthiness does. Some quit wanting things because they lose heart, while others have only transitory desires that amount to idle daydreams.
Money comes through exchanging value with others. To receive fair value, you must convince others of your worth, which requires first developing a strong inner sense of your own worth through hard work, determination and honoring commitments. Too often we waste energy resenting others' success rather than focusing on becoming valuable to others.
Most people think they want wealth but remain where they are financially because obtaining prosperity requires giving up something in exchange. Like athletes who sacrifice parties and rich food for discipline, financial success demands sacrifice. Some, like apartment manager Ruby, unconsciously cling to the psychological rewards of poverty (power over tenants) rather than embracing the demands of wealth.
The Chinese character for wealth combines symbols for money and unique talent ("brilliance"). True wealth comes not from chasing money but from developing your intrinsic talents. Jobs chosen solely for pay or security become dead ends if they don't align with your talents. Each person possesses a unique brilliance capable of accomplishing what no one else can, making the discovery of one's niche essential to life's conquest.
Chapter 9
Thriving in a World of Cunning and Ruthlessness
In our pursuit of personal interests and survival, we must acknowledge that thieves and robbers exist who will take not just material possessions but also rob us of faith in humanity. We must shield ourselves with Thick Face while using Black Heart to wage unavoidable battles, especially as economic pressures make people increasingly difficult to deal with.
As America entered the 1990s, economic decline and frustration led to harsher interactions where the silent refrain "What have you done for me lately?" replaced gratitude for past kindnesses. For self-preservation among the cunning and ruthless, Thick Face, Black Heart practitioners must master essential principles.
First, guard your interest. As a retired Northrop executive observed, "If you feel you're getting screwed, generally you are." When we're too agreeable, we invite exploitation. News anchorwoman Barbara demonstrated this principle when negotiating her contract renewal-despite management intimidation and fury, she refused to compromise on her worth. By employing Thick Face to shield herself from abuse and Black Heart for toughness, she eventually secured her terms without letting emotions affect her professional performance.
Second, know your value. Martha, an attractive real estate developer and former film producer, found herself exploited by a prestigious industrial designer who initially expressed interest in her projects but instead had her produce interviews for his documentary without compensation. After a year, Martha walked away with nothing, realizing too late: "I did not know my own value. A whore at least gets paid for her services."
In China, watchdogs learn to discriminate between visitors using simple rules: attack the poorly dressed and weak-spirited, but ingratiate yourself with the well-dressed and confident. This same discriminatory instinct appears in business leaders, politicians, and even schoolchildren-they target the weak and vulnerable while currying favor with the powerful. Those who appear timid broadcast their inner state and become instant targets for the naturally cunning and ruthless, who possess an intuitive hunter's instinct for identifying weakness.
For beginning practitioners, mastering the power of yielding is essential. The common mistake when first studying Thick Face, Black Heart is to swing from being a victim to aggressively seeking revenge, potentially turning yourself into a monster who offends everyone. Instead, appear outwardly submissive and non-threatening while inwardly maintaining focus on your objectives. When an opponent perceives no threat, they won't deploy their strongest weapons against you.
Opposition can strengthen us when we harness negative energy productively. Football legend Jim Brown said, "When people try to hurt me, it makes me stronger. I take in that negative energy, run it through my system, and throw it back at them." Richard, a software engineer, accomplished the "impossible" by completing a complex project in three weeks instead of seven, motivated by his desire to prove himself against a jealous colleague's negativity. When we refuse defeat and use opposition to unleash our hidden strengths, we can achieve extraordinary results.
Chapter 10
Developing the Killer Instinct
To succeed in today's world, you need the will and tenacity to finish the job. Like great bullfighters who kill quickly and cleanly in the moment of truth, the killer instinct-the root of Black Heart-helps accomplish great tasks. This instinct has ensured human survival against hostile elements and other humans since caveman times. Though refined in civilized societies, its essence remains unchanged.
In Asian culture, sacrificing the smaller for the larger is natural, while Westerners find this barbaric. This explains why Japan easily recruited kamikaze pilots during World War II. China's five thousand years of history documents countless power struggles, becoming textbooks for developing the killer instinct-studied by Koreans and Japanese as guides to human behavior rather than for historical value.
The rivalry between Liu Bang and Xiang Yu after the Chin Dynasty's fall illustrates the killer instinct's importance. Despite Xiang Yu's superior troops, control of most of China, and brilliant strategy, he lost everything to Liu Bang, who excelled only in Thick Face, Black Heart. When Xiang Yu captured Liu Bang, he spared him out of misguided honor, allowing Liu Bang to escape and eventually defeat him. Xiang Yu's "benevolence of a woman and valor of a peasant" prevented him from striking down his enemy when he had the chance, ultimately leading to his suicide after defeat while Liu Bang founded the four-century Han Dynasty.
Even the virtuous can employ killer instinct when necessary. Kung Ming, possibly the wisest man in 5,000 years of Chinese history, executed his talented young General Ma despite pleas from other generals. Ma had disobeyed direct battle orders, leading troops to a mountaintop where enemies cut off their supplies, causing defeat. Though Kung Ming wept while beheading Ma, he maintained that "law and order must be adhered to" and discipline required setting an example.
A well-developed killer instinct can help accomplish worthy goals or overcome obstacles. Asking for money-difficult for many sensitive people-illustrates the mindset behind killer instinct. While large corporations raise money easily, small entrepreneurs often struggle with this essential skill. Don, a man wanted in thirteen states for fraud, demonstrated perfect killer instinct in fundraising. When confronted by armed investors demanding their money back, Don calmly claimed a rival gang stole their merchandise and convinced them to invest another $5,000. His secret? "You ask by asking" and "ignore totally whatever your mind is telling you...focus wholeheartedly on your task." This totally focused state of mind, detached from all considerations except completing the immediate objective, drives the perfect killer instinct.
While developing killer instinct, we must also know when to express our innate compassion. As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet, "I must be cruel, only to be kind." Every human has the desire to be abundantly generous with love, compassion, respect, and material possessions. Yet reality often forces us to restrain our compassion. We notice it's easier to be compassionate to nameless, faceless needy people than our "special ones," as our generosity is often abused by those closest to us.
Chapter 11
The Path to Inner Transformation
The secret to obtaining Thick Face, Black Heart is realizing it's already your natural state. You cannot obtain what you already possess-you must simply remove barriers to discover your inherent nature. Like a tiger's fierceness or fire's ability to burn, humans need not learn how to be natural beings. Our social conditioning has distorted this intuitive understanding of winning, and now we must recover what we already possess.
Understanding the universe mirrors understanding your true self, and your success depends on overcoming life's obstacles. Self-reflection and discovery are the first steps to undo imposed wrongs and reveal your natural state of Thick Face, Black Heart. This journey unfolds through seven stages:
1. The Desire to Do Right: In this initial stage, you feel an intense desire to do good but also feel helpless. You see conflicts everywhere and believe good people get "the short end." You have no tolerance for Thick Face, Black Heart, viewing it as only for the sinister-minded.
2. Confusion and Negativity: You gain insight that your "noble sacrifice" was actually self-denial and deprivation. By ignoring your needs to cater to others, you've betrayed your inner nature. Anger and resentment emerge, causing guilt and confusion as you begin to reevaluate your repulsion toward Thick Face, Black Heart.
3. The Battle for Surrender: The pain of living without self-expression becomes intolerable. You realize you cannot contribute to others without contributing to yourself. You accept your "despicable" emotions, concluding life is equally painful whether denying yourself to meet others' expectations or expressing yourself and feeling guilty-but the latter creates opportunity for movement.
4. Acceptance of Your Imperfect Perfection: You become less judgmental of your emotions, seeing yourself as "imperfectly perfect." You find courage to acknowledge your existence and needs. As you break old patterns, others will think you've become self-centered. You experience both ecstasy over new possibilities and agony over abandoning the old.
5. The New Possibilities: The old falls away as you develop natural Thick Face, Black Heart power. This gives you strength to resist habitual reactions and explore new frontiers. Though initially slow, with practice you become steadier and more centered in business and personal encounters.
6. The Inner Harmony: Breaking through others' expectations brings inner peace. You develop genuine compassion from self-love, recognizing the same love exists in others. When faced with conflict, you're no longer a victim of morality-you can choose your response based on desired results. Thick Face, Black Heart becomes your natural companion.
7. Detachment: The Power Source of Magnetism: The highest code of living is detachment. When mastered, you become the embodiment of dispassion and fearlessness. Nothing you possess will possess you-you become master of your universe. Detachment is the key to obtaining everything you want; when you stop wanting something, it naturally comes to you.
According to Eastern thought, human nature consists of three qualities or "gunas" that everyone possesses in different degrees: tamas (inertia), rajas (activity), and sattva (wisdom). The sattvic person graciously rides life's waves through glory and disgrace, representing the ultimate state of Thick Face, Black Heart-acting guided by inner wisdom, with actions aligned with Dharma, benefiting both the greater good and personal destiny.
The journey to Thick Face, Black Heart begins with recognizing that its power source lies within us. During meditation in Australia, I experienced a vision of golden energy rushing into the center of my being-revealing that humans are genetically coded to be drawn to this Divine force within. All our actions, whether guided by wisdom or ignorance, are motivated by our desire to connect with this inner blissful state. Yet many chase this feeling through endless external activities, never finding satisfaction.
