What is *Opening Up* by Tristan Taormino about?

*Opening Up* explores non-monogamous relationships, offering practical strategies for building trust, communication, and consent in open partnerships. Tristan Taormino combines real-life interviews with actionable advice on jealousy management, boundary-setting, and maintaining emotional and sexual health, making it a comprehensive guide for ethical non-monogamy.

Who should read *Opening Up*?

This book is ideal for individuals exploring polyamory, couples transitioning to open relationships, or therapists seeking insights into consensual non-monogamy. It’s also valuable for anyone interested in improving communication skills or understanding modern relationship dynamics beyond traditional monogamy.

Is *Opening Up* worth reading?

Yes, *Opening Up* is praised for its empathetic, non-judgmental approach and research-backed frameworks, drawing from 100+ interviews. It provides tools to navigate jealousy, time management, and ethical agreements, making it a standout resource for both newcomers and experienced practitioners of non-monogamy.

What are the key communication strategies in *Opening Up*?

Taormino emphasizes **active listening**, **transparency**, and **regular check-ins** to ensure all partners feel heard. She advises creating “relationship agreements” that outline boundaries, expectations, and sexual health protocols, which can evolve as dynamics change.

How does *Opening Up* address jealousy in open relationships?

The book reframes jealousy as a natural emotion to analyze rather than suppress. Taormino suggests techniques like self-reflection, compersion (finding joy in a partner’s other relationships), and collaborative problem-solving to transform jealousy into growth opportunities.

What types of non-monogamy does Tristan Taormino discuss?

*Opening Up* covers diverse structures, including **partnered non-monogamy**, **solo polyamory**, **swinging**, and **relationship anarchy**. Taormino stresses there’s no “one-size-fits-all” model, encouraging readers to design relationships aligned with their values.

What role do boundaries play in *Opening Up*?

Boundaries are foundational to ethical non-monogamy, protecting emotional and physical well-being. The book guides readers in defining clear limits (e.g., sexual health practices, time allocation) while remaining adaptable as relationships evolve.

How does *Opening Up* differ from *The Ethical Slut*?

While both books address non-monogamy, *Opening Up* focuses more on **practical frameworks** (e.g., creating agreements) and **modern relationship challenges** (e.g., digital communication). Taormino’s approach is particularly noted for its intersectional, LGBTQ+-inclusive perspective.

Opening Up Summary, PDF, EPUB, Audio

Opening Up

Tristan Taormino

4.08 (4080 Reviews)

Relationship Self-growth Psychology Health

Overview

Key Takeaways

Author

FAQs

Redefining love beyond monogamy, "Opening Up" has become the essential guide for ethical non-monogamy. Where "The Ethical Slut" merely scratched the surface, Taormino's work dives deeper - could her framework for honesty and communication revolutionize all your relationships, not just romantic ones?

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Best quote from Opening Up

We're sold a fairy tale about finding one perfect soul mate who will fulfill all our needs-physical, emotional, psychological, financial, romantic, sexual, and spiritual.

Explore Your Way of Learning

Opening Up isn't just a book — it's a masterclass in Relationship. To help you absorb its lessons in the way that works best for you, we offer five unique learning modes. Whether you're a deep thinker, a fast learner, or a story lover, there's a mode designed to fit your style.

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"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco

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See more on how BeFreed is discussed across the web

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

1.5K Ratings4.7

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Download This Summary

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Opening Up

Tristan Taormino

4.08 (4080 Reviews)

Relationship Self-growth Psychology Health

Overview

Key Takeaways

Author

FAQs

Explore Your Way of Learning

Quick Summary9min

Feel the book through the author's voice

Deep Dive42min

Turn knowledge into engaging, example-rich insights

Flash Card10 insights

Capture key ideas in a flash for fast learning

Fun25min

Enjoy the book in a fun and engaging way

Best quote from Opening Up

We're sold a fairy tale about finding one perfect soul mate who will fulfill all our needs-physical, emotional, psychological, financial, romantic, sexual, and spiritual.

More Like This

Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory

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The Myth of One True Love and Evolution of Alternatives

00:00

Imagine finding a single person who fulfills your every need - emotional, physical, intellectual, financial, and spiritual - for the rest of your life. Sounds perfect, right? This fairy tale has been sold to us through rom-coms, love songs, and cultural expectations. Yet the statistics tell a different story: marriage rates have plummeted nearly 50% in five decades, while infidelity remains remarkably consistent across generations, with roughly one-third to one-half of married people having at least one affair. The problem isn't just that monogamy is difficult - it's that we've wrapped it in unrealistic expectations. We're told that finding "the one" means never desiring anyone else, that attraction to others signals failure, and that one person should satisfy all our complex needs indefinitely. When faced with desires that contradict this mythology, people typically respond in one of four ways: suppress the feelings through willpower, deny them entirely (often leading to resentment), cheat (creating elaborate deceptions that destroy trust), or practice serial monogamy (ending relationships to pursue new desires, only to repeat the cycle). Throughout human history, people have practiced various forms of nonmonogamy, though often hidden from public view. Modern organized forms began with swinging in mid-20th century America, possibly originating among Air Force pilots during World War II who formed informal agreements about caring for each other's wives. By the late 1990s, an estimated 3 million Americans were swingers, creating a substantial subculture with dedicated magazines, private clubs, and national conventions. The sexual revolution of the 1960s questioned prevailing norms about sex and relationships. In 1972, Nena and George O'Neill's bestselling book "Open Marriage" sold over 1.5 million copies, proposing marriage as a flexible relationship where partners committed to each other's growth while maintaining personal freedom. Gay men pioneered alternative relationship styles decades earlier, developing concepts like "open relationships" and "friends with benefits" that would later influence broader movements. While these concepts existed earlier, the term "polyamory" gained popularity in the 1990s, distinguishing loving multiple relationships from purely sexual arrangements. "The Ethical Slut" (1997) introduced crucial concepts like compersion (taking joy in a partner's other relationships) and ethical frameworks for managing multiple connections. Today, polyamory has grown from a fringe movement to a recognized relationship choice, with hundreds of organizations, support groups, and educational resources available.

Debunking Myths About Open Relationships

Essential Skills and Relationship Styles

Navigating Emotional Complexity

Practical Challenges and Solutions

Creating New Relationship Paradigms

Explore Your Way of Learning

Quick Summary

Opening Up Summary in 9 Minutes

Break down key ideas from Opening Up into bite-sized takeaways to understand how innovative teams create, collaborate, and grow.

00:00

Flash Card

Top 10 Insights from Opening Up in a Nutshell

Distill Opening Up into rapid-fire memory cues that highlight key principles of candor, teamwork, and creative resilience.

Fun

Opening Up Lessons Told Through 25-Min Stories

Experience Opening Up through vivid storytelling that turns innovation lessons into moments you'll remember and apply.

00:00

Personalize

Experience Opening Up in your own way.

Ask anything, pick the voice, and co-create insights that truly resonate with you.

From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco

BeFreed Brings Together A Global Community Of 1,000,000 Curious Minds

See more on how BeFreed is discussed across the web

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco

BeFreed Brings Together A Global Community Of 1,000,000 Curious Minds

See more on how BeFreed is discussed across the web

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

1.5K Ratings4.7

Start your learning journey, now

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Opening Up by Tristan Taormino Summary

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Opening Up by Tristan Taormino Summary

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More Like This

Key Takeaways

The Myth of One True Love and Evolution of Alternatives

Debunking Myths About Open Relationships

Essential Skills and Relationship Styles

Navigating Emotional Complexity

Practical Challenges and Solutions

Creating New Relationship Paradigms

Quick Summary Mode - Read or listen to Opening Up Summary in 9 Minutes

Flash Card Mode - Top 10 Insights from Opening Up in a Nutshell

Fun Mode - Opening Up Lessons Told Through 25-Min Stories

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More Like This

Key Takeaways

The Myth of One True Love and Evolution of Alternatives

Debunking Myths About Open Relationships

Essential Skills and Relationship Styles

Navigating Emotional Complexity

Practical Challenges and Solutions

Creating New Relationship Paradigms