Nice Girls Just Don't Get It
99 Ways to Get the Things You Want, the Success You've Earned, and the Respect You Deserve
Overview of Nice Girls Just Don't Get It
Discover why "Nice Girls Just Don't Get It" became the essential playbook for professional women everywhere. Endorsed by executive coach Marshall Goldsmith, Frankel's bestseller reveals the 101 self-sabotaging mistakes that keep women from claiming their power - secrets even Sheryl Sandberg might approve.
Key Themes in Nice Girls Just Don't Get It
- assertive communication
- boundary setting
- female empowerment
- conflict resolution
- workplace negotiation
Quotes from Nice Girls Just Don't Get It
Nice girls are those more concerned with pleasing others than addressing their own needs.
Being kind and being assertive are not mutually exclusive.
Saying 'no' to some things allows you to say 'yes' to what really matters to you.
True confidence comes from knowing your worth and being willing to stand up for it.
You have the right to create the life you want.
Characters in Nice Girls Just Don't Get It
- Lois P. FrankelAuthor and expert on women's empowerment
- Carol FrohlingerCo-author and advocate for winning women
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FAQs About This Book
Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It by Lois P. Frankel and Carol Frohlinger offers 99 strategies to help women overcome societal conditioning that prioritizes politeness over self-advocacy. It addresses “nice girl syndrome”—behaviors like avoiding conflict or over-apologizing—and teaches readers to set boundaries, negotiate effectively, and transition from people-pleasing to becoming “winning women” in careers, relationships, and life.
This book is ideal for women who feel overlooked, struggle to voice their needs, or face challenges asserting themselves professionally or personally. It’s particularly relevant for those navigating male-dominated workplaces, managing interpersonal dynamics, or seeking to balance kindness with self-advocacy.
Yes, for its actionable advice on reframing societal expectations. Readers praise its concise, practical tactics—like rejecting unnecessary apologies or handling criticism—though some critique its focus on individual behavior over systemic issues.
While Corner Office targets workplace-specific barriers, Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It expands to personal life, offering broader strategies for asserting needs in relationships, family, and daily interactions. Both emphasize unlearning “girlhood” socialization.
Key strategies include:
- Replacing self-deprecation with confident acceptance of compliments.
- Using “Plexiglas shields” to deflect unwarranted criticism.
- Prioritizing transactional reciprocity over one-sided generosity.
- Avoiding over-apologizing and setting clear personal boundaries.
The term advises women to develop emotional resilience against negativity or jealousy. Like transparent armor, it allows visibility but blocks harmful remarks from affecting self-esteem or progress.
It critiques women’s reluctance to negotiate (citing Women Don’t Ask) and provides scripts for advocating raises, projects, or recognition. Tips include framing requests as mutually beneficial and anticipating resistance.
Some argue it overemphasizes personal responsibility, downplaying systemic sexism. Critics note dated views on appearance and a potential “victim-blaming” tone when addressing ingrained socialization.
“Nice girls” prioritize others’ needs, avoid conflict, and internalize gender stereotypes. “Winning women” assert boundaries, negotiate assertively, and invest energy only in reciprocal relationships.
- “Nice is necessary, but not sufficient.”
- “Don’t say, ‘It was nothing’—say ‘Thank you.’”
- “Winning women give more than they get, but only where it matters.”
These emphasize confidence, gratitude, and strategic generosity.
Both books address women’s negotiation hesitancy. Nice Girls expands beyond the workplace, offering tactics to overcome societal expectations in all life areas, while Women Don’t Ask focuses on salary and promotion data.
Yes. It teaches setting boundaries with friends/family, rejecting guilt-driven obligations, and communicating needs clearly—such as declining free babysitting or addressing disrespectful behavior.
