Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois P. Frankel Summary

Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois P. Frankel identifies 130+ unconscious mistakes women make in the workplace due to gendered socialization, such as avoiding office politics or over-apologizing. It provides actionable strategies to replace self-sabotaging behaviors with assertive practices, helping women navigate corporate culture and advance their careers.

This book is ideal for women in corporate roles seeking to overcome career stagnation, early-career professionals learning workplace dynamics, and anyone interested in gender-based behavioral pitfalls. It’s particularly valuable for those struggling with assertiveness, office politics, or self-advocacy.

Key lessons include:

• Stop “girl-like” behaviors: Avoid excessive modesty, people-pleasing, and avoiding conflict.
• Master office politics: Build strategic alliances and visibility.
• Negotiate confidently: Frame requests as mutually beneficial, not confrontational.
• Limit multitasking: Prioritize high-impact tasks over busywork.

Unlike academic works like Deborah Tannen’s research, Frankel’s guide prioritizes actionable steps over theory. It’s more pragmatic than Hardball for Women but less nuanced in addressing systemic gender bias. The focus on specific, fixable mistakes makes it a popular career playbook.

Some argue the book overemphasizes individual behavior change without addressing systemic sexism. Critics note its advice risks penalizing women for being “too assertive” in male-dominated environments. However, fans praise its practicality for navigating existing workplace realities.

• “You gain courage and confidence from doing the things you think you cannot do.”
• “Don’t equate negotiation with confrontation.” (Mistake #54)
• “Once it’s out there, it’s hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube.” (on social media use, Mistake #70).

Frankel teaches reframing negotiations as problem-solving discussions, not demands. She advises preparing data on market rates, practicing assertive language, and avoiding qualifiers like “I just think…”

The revised edition includes modern pitfalls like inappropriate social media use (Mistake #70) and unclear virtual communication. Frankel stresses maintaining professionalism in digital interactions and setting boundaries in hybrid workplaces.

Frankel warns against relying solely on formal mentorship programs (Mistake #94). Instead, she advocates building a “board of directors” – a diverse network of sponsors, peers, and industry contacts who provide tactical advice and advocacy.

The book discourages conflict avoidance (Mistake #28) and teaches “managed dissent” – voicing disagreements constructively using facts, while maintaining relationships. It emphasizes following up conflicts with solutions, not apologies.

The 2014 update adds 30+ new mistakes reflecting tech-era challenges, like oversharing on social media and hybrid work missteps. It also includes fresh case studies but retains the core framework.

Frankel’s career-advice series includes Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich (finance) and See Jane Lead (leadership). Her coaching manual Stop Sabotaging Your Career applies broadly across genders.