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Love's Blueprint: The Science of Building Lasting Relationships

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Discover what decades of attachment science and neurobiology reveal about creating thriving partnerships. From the Gottmans' groundbreaking research on successful couples to Esther Perel's insights on desire, this episode distills cutting-edge relationship wisdom into practical daily habits that transform connection.

Love's Blueprint: The Science of Building Lasting Relationships
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How This Personalized Podcast Was Made

This podcast was created using BeFreed’s AI, based on selected books, the creator’s learning goals, and their preferred tone.

Huberman Lab
link
https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/the-science-of-love-desire-and-attachment
“Technoference”: The Interference of Technology in Couple Relationships and Implications for Women’s Well-Being
link
https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/facpub/4023/
Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
link
https://www.gottman.com/product/eight-dates/
Want to Improve Your Relationship? Start Paying More Attention to Bids
link
https://www.gottman.com/blog/want-to-improve-your-relationship-start-paying-more-attention-to-bids/
It's the Little Things: Everyday Gratitude as a Booster Shot for Romantic Relationships
link
https://labs.psych.ucsb.edu/gable/shelly/publications/414
My life has become a major distraction from my cell phone
link
https://dl.acm.org/doi/abs/10.1016/j.chb.2015.07.058
The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work
link
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/318510/the-all-or-nothing-marriage-by-eli-j-finkel/
The Role of Sleep in Interpersonal Conflict
link
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550613488952
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
link
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/78671.The_Seven_Principles_for_Making_Marriage_Work
WorkLife with Adam Grant
link
https://www.iheart.com/podcast/56-rethinking-102050676/episode/the-science-of-healthy-relationships-with-105903302/
Helen Fisher — Speaker Page
link
https://www.ted.com/speakers/helen_fisher
The power of vulnerability
link
https://brenebrown.com/videos/ted-talk-the-power-of-vulnerability
Huberman Lab
link
https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/dr-allan-schore-how-relationships-shape-your-brain
Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life
link
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24596066-come-as-you-are
Huberman Lab
link
https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/the-science-of-emotions-relationships
Love languages are hugely popular — but there’s very little evidence they exist at all
link
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-02-14/little-evidence-to-support-love-languages/101968632
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love
link
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11737344-attached
Why we all need to practice emotional first aid
link
https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_why_we_all_need_to_practice_emotional_first_aid/transcr
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
link
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/411151
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity
link
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36326439-the-state-of-affairs
Sexual Frequency Predicts Greater Well-Being, But More is Not Always Better
link
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550615616462
Research FAQ
link
https://www.gottman.com/about/research/faq/
Intranasal oxytocin increases positive communication and reduces cortisol levels during couple conflict
link
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19027101/
Marital Boredom Now Predicts Less Satisfaction 9 Years Later
link
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2009.02332.x
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
link
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7000470-hold-me-tight
The Self-Fulfilling Nature of Positive Illusions in Romantic Relationships: Love Is Not Blind, but Prescient
link
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8979384/
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
link
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25073935-nonviolent-communication
To 'See' Is to Feel Grateful? A Quasi-Signal Detection Analysis of Romantic Partners’ Sacrifices
link
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1948550618757599
The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings
link
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167297234003
Love languages are hugely popular — but there’s very little evidence they exist at all
link
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2024/01/15/love-languages-lack-of-research/
Science Doesn’t Support ‘Love Languages’
link
https://www.realclearscience.com/blog/2024/02/14/science_doesnt_support_love_languages_1011665.html
Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved
link
https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved
How to Strengthen Your Relationship with State of the Union Meetings
link
https://www.gottman.com/blog/state-of-the-union-meeting-will-strengthen-your-relationship-heres-how-to-start-yours/
Modern Wisdom
link
https://podfollow.com/1347973549/episode/8a8b0fbf2e12f5c08586311b3f784d1a8dd79b56/view
Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic
link
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/27485.Mating_in_Captivity
The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to Science
link
https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science/
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Input question

How can science help us build stronger, lasting relationships?

Podcast Style
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"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

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"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

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"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
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comments12
likes117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

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likes108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
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comments254
likes17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
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"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
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@Jaded_Falcon
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@OojasSalunke
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"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
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"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
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