
Sarah Mandel's raw memoir chronicles her battle with Stage Four cancer while pregnant. Praised by author Hala Alyan for making readers "weep and laugh with delight," this intimate journey through trauma has readers asking: can narrative therapy transform our darkest moments into healing?
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At thirty-six, pregnant with her second child and living what seemed like a charmed life, Sarah Mandel's world imploded with three devastating words: Stage IV cancer. What began as a small lump-a "pebble" that grew to a "gumball"-during her pregnancy transformed into a diagnosis that left her body "like a leopard," spotted with cancer from neck to thigh. With a 73 percent chance of dying within five years, her normal existence vanished overnight. The shock came in waves. First, the breast cancer diagnosis itself. Then, just one week after giving birth to her daughter Siena, the crushing revelation that the cancer had metastasized throughout her bones and liver. Her treatment goal shifted from "CURE" to "TREAT," with the understanding that she would need immunotherapy indefinitely. Suddenly, Sarah found herself navigating an alien landscape of PET scans, chemotherapy, and bone fractures so severe she needed a walker to move around her apartment. In these early days, Sarah's coping mechanism was organization-purchasing a perfect binder to contain her medical chaos, a familiar strategy from her student days. The binder represented control in an uncontrollable situation. Meanwhile, her bedroom transformed into her cancer-fighting room, with her husband Derek bringing in their TV and compiling 1980s movies to watch together. Though physically frail, her determination remained unbroken. What makes trauma truly traumatic isn't just the event itself but the shattering of our fundamental assumptions: that the world is basically safe, that extremely bad things happen to other people, not us. Sarah's story reminds us that life can change in an instant, and none of us are immune.
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