
From SNL green rooms to adoption anxieties, Scarlet Hiltibidal's memoir transforms paralyzing fear into faith-fueled courage. Released just before COVID-19, this surprisingly humorous journey resonates deeply with Christians seeking peace amid life's storms. What if your greatest fears hide your greatest growth?
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At just five years old, I collapsed in aisle six of Winn Dixie, convinced my appendix was rupturing after reading about it in the children's book Madeline. This wasn't just childhood imagination - it was the beginning of a lifelong battle with fear. My "nervous stomach" arrived shortly after my parents divorced and followed me everywhere. The doctors always confirmed I was perfectly healthy, suggesting I "stop reading the encyclopedia so much." But the fear remained, a constant companion that colored my world. Fear has a way of rewriting our stories. What begins as occasional worry can transform into a lens through which we view everything. We become people defined by our anxieties - the ones who check the locks three times, who catastrophize minor symptoms, who lie awake planning escape routes from imagined disasters. The problem isn't just that we feel afraid; it's that fear becomes our default setting, our primary response to a world that suddenly seems filled with threats rather than possibilities. Growing up as a frequent flyer between LAX, LGA, and MIA, I memorized safety procedures better than the flight attendants. When I learned planes could crash, flying became terrifying - until a flight attendant told me airplanes had giant springs underneath that would bounce them back into the sky if they fell. This sweet lie bought me years of peaceful air travel. As we age, we collect more sophisticated versions of these comforting lies: avoiding certain neighborhoods, sitting behind drivers for crash protection, installing security systems after neighbors are robbed. These measures provide temporary comfort but never true peace. Nothing we control can prevent a truck explosion on the interstate, cancer in loved ones, or a mosquito carrying disease. There are no preventative measures against miscarriages or late-night accident calls.