
In "Life Is Hard," philosopher Kieran Setiya offers a refreshing antidote to toxic positivity, exploring how pain, grief, and failure connect to our deepest values. Praised by The New Yorker for showing how hardships make us "tougher, kinder, and wiser" - can suffering actually enrich your life?
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In a culture obsessed with happiness hacks and quick fixes, Kieran Setiya offers something radically different: permission to acknowledge that life is genuinely difficult. Drawing from both personal experience and philosophical wisdom, he challenges the notion that suffering is merely an obstacle to happiness rather than an inevitable part of the human condition. When Setiya was struck with chronic pain at age twenty-seven, doctors eventually advised him to "ignore the pain if possible" - a dismissal that mirrors our collective approach to suffering. Meanwhile, his family faced a cascade of medical crises: cancer, surgery, Alzheimer's. These weren't extraordinary circumstances but rather emblematic of what it means to be human. Pain and disability transform our relationship with time itself. Chronic suffering erases the memory of comfort and prevents us from imagining relief - what Emily Dickinson called an "infinite contain," trapping us between a forgotten past and an unimaginable future. Yet disability theorists have revolutionized our understanding of physical limitation, shifting the conversation from medicine to civil rights. The traditional view assumes physical limitations necessarily make life worse, but research reveals a fascinating paradox: people with disabilities don't generally rate their well-being significantly lower than others. This challenges Aristotle's impossible standard that the good life must be "lacking in nothing." All lives are inherently selective and limited; no one engages with everything valuable. Consider Bill Veeck, who lost his right foot in WWII yet thrived as a baseball executive who integrated the American League, or Harriet McBryde Johnson, born with muscular dystrophy, who became a successful lawyer and disability activist. The wisdom lies not in denying suffering but in approaching it differently. Rather than fixating on future pain, we can focus on the present moment, treating persistent suffering as isolated episodes to diminish its power.