The State of Affairs book cover

The State of Affairs by Esther Perel Summary

The State of Affairs
Esther Perel
4.36 (22536 Reviews)
Relationship
Psychology
Self-growth
Communication skill
概述
核心要点
作者
常见问题

Overview of The State of Affairs

In "The State of Affairs," renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel boldly reframes infidelity as a window into desire and commitment. What if betrayal could spark growth? This provocative bestseller challenges our romantic expectations, offering insights that have transformed countless relationships since 2017.

Similar books to The State of Affairs

探索你的学习方式
快速摘要9分钟

通过作者的声音感受这本书

深度解读42分钟

将知识转化为引人入胜、富含实例的见解

闪卡7 条见解

快速捕捉核心观点,高效学习

趣味版20分钟

以有趣互动的方式享受这本书

核心要点

1

When Monogamy Meets Its Match

play
00:00
00:00

Infidelity represents one of life's most devastating emotional earthquakes. The moment of discovery - when evidence of a partner's affair comes to light - instantly shatters a shared reality. Yet despite being universally condemned, affairs persist across all cultures and throughout history. This contradiction reveals something fundamental about human nature and relationships. For nearly three decades, I've explored the complex landscape of love and desire. What I've found challenges our cultural scripts about infidelity. Affairs aren't simply moral failings or relationship death sentences - they're complex human experiences that force us to confront unsettling questions about commitment, desire, and identity. Most affairs involve ordinary people with ordinary values who never imagined crossing boundaries they held sacred. Their stories typically stem from loneliness, sexual deadness, or craving attention rather than pathological behavior. When couples come to me after an affair, I tell them: "Your first marriage is over. Would you like to create a second one together?" This framing acknowledges both the devastation and the possibility that follows betrayal. While our culture once stigmatized divorce, today choosing to stay when you can leave carries its own shame - a rush to judgment that makes no allowance for human error, repair, or growth.

2

The Evolution of Marriage and Betrayal

3

The Paradox of Desire and Jealousy

4

The Search for Aliveness and Identity

5

The Complexity of Infidelity

6

Rethinking Fidelity and Monogamy

7

Life After the Affair

探索你的学习方式
《The State of Affairs》不仅仅是一本书——它是Relationship领域的大师课。为了帮助你以最适合的方式吸收书中精华,我们提供五种独特的学习模式。无论你是深度思考者、快速学习者还是故事爱好者,总有一种模式适合你。

快速摘要模式 - 9分钟阅读或收听《The State of Affairs》摘要

快速摘要
快速摘要
9分钟读完《The State of Affairs》精华

将《The State of Affairs》的核心观点拆解为易于理解的要点,了解创新团队如何创造、协作和成长。

play
00:00
00:00

闪卡模式 - 《The State of Affairs》精华:7条核心见解

闪卡
闪卡
《The State of Affairs》精华:7条核心见解

将《The State of Affairs》提炼为快速记忆要点,突出坦诚、团队合作和创造力的关键原则。

Flash Mode Swiper

趣味模式 - 《The State of Affairs》的启示 - 20分钟故事

趣味版
趣味版
《The State of Affairs》的启示 - 20分钟故事

通过生动的故事体验《The State of Affairs》,将创新经验转化为令人难忘且可应用的精彩时刻。

play
00:00
00:00

个性化模式 - 0分钟阅读或收听《The State of Affairs》摘要

个性化
个性化
以你自己的方式体验《The State of Affairs》

随心提问,选择声音,共同创造真正与你产生共鸣的见解。

Personalize Mode

由哥伦比亚大学校友在旧金山创建

BeFreed 汇聚了全球超过 20 万求知若渴的学习者

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
platform
comments
12
likes
117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments
12
likes
108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments
254
likes
17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
platform
comments
96
likes
4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
platform
comments
201
thumbsUp
16

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
platform
comments
37
likes
483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
platform
comments
12
likes
117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments
12
likes
108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments
254
likes
17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
platform
comments
96
likes
4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
platform
comments
201
thumbsUp
16

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
platform
comments
37
likes
483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
platform
comments
12
likes
117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments
12
likes
108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments
254
likes
17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
platform
comments
96
likes
4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
platform
comments
201
thumbsUp
16

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
platform
comments
37
likes
483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
platform
star
star
star
star
star
开启你的学习之旅,就是现在
下载此摘要

免费获取《The State of Affairs》摘要的 PDF 或 EPUB 版本。可打印或随时离线阅读。