What is *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It* about?

*Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It* by Lois P. Frankel and Carol Frohlinger offers 99 strategies to help women overcome societal conditioning that prioritizes politeness over self-advocacy. It addresses “nice girl syndrome”—behaviors like avoiding conflict or over-apologizing—and teaches readers to set boundaries, negotiate effectively, and transition from people-pleasing to becoming “winning women” in careers, relationships, and life.

Who should read *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It*?

This book is ideal for women who feel overlooked, struggle to voice their needs, or face challenges asserting themselves professionally or personally. It’s particularly relevant for those navigating male-dominated workplaces, managing interpersonal dynamics, or seeking to balance kindness with self-advocacy.

Is *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It* worth reading?

Yes, for its actionable advice on reframing societal expectations. Readers praise its concise, practical tactics—like rejecting unnecessary apologies or handling criticism—though some critique its focus on individual behavior over systemic issues.

How does *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It* differ from Frankel’s *Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office*?

While *Corner Office* targets workplace-specific barriers, *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It* expands to personal life, offering broader strategies for asserting needs in relationships, family, and daily interactions. Both emphasize unlearning “girlhood” socialization.

What are the main strategies in *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It*?

Key strategies include: - Replacing self-deprecation with confident acceptance of compliments. - Using “Plexiglas shields” to deflect unwarranted criticism. - Prioritizing transactional reciprocity over one-sided generosity. - Avoiding over-apologizing and setting clear personal boundaries.

What does the “Plexiglas shields” metaphor mean?

The term advises women to develop emotional resilience against negativity or jealousy. Like transparent armor, it allows visibility but blocks harmful remarks from affecting self-esteem or progress.

How does the book address workplace negotiation?

It critiques women’s reluctance to negotiate (citing *Women Don’t Ask*) and provides scripts for advocating raises, projects, or recognition. Tips include framing requests as mutually beneficial and anticipating resistance.

What criticisms exist about *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It*?

Some argue it overemphasizes personal responsibility, downplaying systemic sexism. Critics note dated views on appearance and a potential “victim-blaming” tone when addressing ingrained socialization.

《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要

99 个方法让你获得想要的事物、赢得应有的成功并收获应得的尊重

罗伊斯·P·弗兰克尔

3.61(519 Reviews)

《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要概述

探索为什么《乖女孩没糖吃》（Nice Girls Just Don't Get It）成为了全球职场女性的必备宝典。这部由高管教练马歇尔·戈德史密斯（Marshall Goldsmith）背书的畅销书，揭示了阻碍女性掌握权力的 101 个自我削弱的错误——这些秘诀甚至连谢丽尔·桑德伯格（Sheryl Sandberg）都可能深表赞同。

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第 1 章

Introduction: The Nice Girl Problem

Have you ever felt invisible? Taken advantage of? Reluctant or unable to articulate what you really want? If so, welcome to the nice girls club. I'm Lois Frankel, and along with my co-author Carol Frohlinger, we're here to help you transform from a nice girl into a winning woman. Nice girls are those more concerned with pleasing others than addressing their own needs. They haven't yet learned how to overcome the childhood messages and cultural stereotypes that keep them from getting their voices heard, their needs met, and the lives they want. But that's about to change. In this book, we'll explore seven key strategies and 99 supporting tactics that every winning woman should know. By the time you finish, you'll have the tools to win respect, achieve success, and create the life you truly desire - all without sacrificing your inherent kindness and compassion.

第 2 章

Part 1: Understanding the Nice Girl Syndrome

Let's start by understanding what it means to be a "nice girl" and why it's holding you back. Nice girls are taught from a young age to be polite, accommodating, and to avoid conflict at all costs. While these traits can make you likable, they often come at the expense of your own needs and desires. Nice girls tend to: • Avoid asking for what they want directly • Apologize excessively, even when they've done nothing wrong • Take on extra work to be helpful, often to their own detriment • Struggle to say "no" to requests, even unreasonable ones • Downplay their own accomplishments and expertise Sound familiar? Don't worry, you're not alone. Many women struggle with these behaviors, but the good news is they can be unlearned. The first step is recognizing these patterns in yourself.

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第 3 章

Part 2: From Nice Girl to Winning Woman

So what does it mean to be a "winning woman" instead? Winning women understand that being kind and being assertive are not mutually exclusive. They've learned to factor their own needs in with those of others, to confront disrespect, and to maintain healthy boundaries in their relationships. Winning women: • Communicate their wants and needs clearly and directly • Take credit for their accomplishments • Say "no" to requests that don't align with their priorities • Negotiate for what they deserve in work and life • Stand up for themselves and others when treated unfairly The shift from nice girl to winning woman doesn't happen overnight. It takes practice and persistence. But with each small win, you'll gain confidence and momentum.

第 4 章

Part 3: Practical Strategies for Success

Now let's look at some practical ways to put these principles into action. One of the most powerful things you can do is learn to ask for what you want - directly and without apology. For example, instead of hinting that you'd like help with housework, try saying to your partner: "I need you to take on half of the household chores. Can we sit down and divide up the tasks fairly?" Notice there's no apologizing, no minimizing the request. Another key strategy is learning to say "no" gracefully but firmly. When asked to take on an extra project at work that you don't have capacity for, you might say: "I appreciate you thinking of me for this, but my plate is full right now. I wouldn't be able to give it the attention it deserves." Remember, saying "no" to some things allows you to say "yes" to what really matters to you. It's not selfish - it's essential for maintaining balance and achieving your goals.

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第 5 章

Part 4: Navigating Difficult Conversations

Many nice girls struggle with confrontation, but learning to handle difficult conversations is crucial for success. Whether it's addressing a colleague who's taking credit for your work or discussing relationship issues with your partner, these talks are necessary for growth. The key is to prepare in advance and stay focused on the issue at hand. Use "I" statements to express your feelings without attacking. For instance: "I felt frustrated when my idea was presented without acknowledgment. In the future, I'd appreciate credit for my contributions." Practice having these conversations with a trusted friend first. The more you do it, the more comfortable you'll become. And remember, most people respect those who can articulate their thoughts and feelings clearly and calmly.

第 6 章

Part 5: Building Your Confidence

Confidence is key to becoming a winning woman, but it's not about bravado or arrogance. True confidence comes from knowing your worth and being willing to stand up for it. Start by taking stock of your strengths and accomplishments. Keep a "success journal" where you record your achievements, big and small. Review it regularly, especially before important meetings or negotiations. Challenge yourself to speak up more in meetings. If you have an idea, share it. If you disagree with something, say so respectfully. Each time you do this, you're building your confidence muscle. And here's a powerful tip: stand up straight and take up space. Your body language affects how others perceive you and how you feel about yourself. Practice power poses before important events - it really works!

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第 7 章

Part 6: Creating the Life You Want

Becoming a winning woman isn't just about succeeding at work - it's about creating a life that truly fulfills you. This means getting clear on your values and priorities, and then aligning your choices with them. Take time to envision your ideal life. What does it look like? How do you spend your time? Who are you with? Once you have a clear picture, start taking steps to make it a reality. This might mean having tough conversations with loved ones about your needs. It might mean saying no to social obligations that drain you. It might mean taking risks to pursue your dreams. Remember, you have the right to create the life you want. You don't need permission from anyone else. As a winning woman, you have the power to shape your own destiny.

第 8 章

Conclusion

Transforming from a nice girl to a winning woman is a journey, not a destination. There will be setbacks along the way, but don't let them discourage you. Each time you assert yourself, negotiate successfully, or stand up for what you believe in, you're growing stronger. The world needs more winning women - women who are kind and assertive, compassionate and strong. By embracing these qualities in yourself, you're not only improving your own life, but you're also paving the way for other women to do the same. So go forth and win, my friends. The corner office - and the life you truly desire - are waiting for you.

★★★★★

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jayallen

《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要中的核心主题

assertive communication
boundary setting
female empowerment
conflict resolution
workplace negotiation

《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要精选金句

Nice girls are those more concerned with pleasing others than addressing their own needs.
Being kind and being assertive are not mutually exclusive.
Saying 'no' to some things allows you to say 'yes' to what really matters to you.
True confidence comes from knowing your worth and being willing to stand up for it.
You have the right to create the life you want.

《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要中的人物

Lois P. FrankelAuthor and expert on women's empowerment
Carol FrohlingerCo-author and advocate for winning women

关于作者

Lois P. Frankel 博士是畅销书《Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It》的作者，也是国际公认的职场行为专家。她担任 Corporate Coaching International 的总裁，是女性领导力发展领域的先驱。

Frankel 以职业发展为核心的著作，包括《乖女孩上不了大台面》（Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office，曾荣登《纽约时报》和《华尔街日报》畅销书榜）以及《Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich》，将心理学洞察与可操作的策略相结合。这些资源帮助女性克服在职业和财务环境中的自我设限行为。

作为 NBC《今日秀》（Today Show）、CNN 和 PBS 的常约评论员，Frankel 曾为微软（Microsoft）和通用电气（GE）等财富 500 强企业提供咨询。她还曾在加州州长妇女与家庭会议等重大活动中发表主题演讲。

她的作品被翻译成 25 多种语言，将数十年的高管教练经验与经过研究验证的职业晋升框架相结合。《乖女孩上不了大台面》至今仍是职场文化的基石，甚至曾作为关于职场动态的题目出现在智力竞赛节目《危险边缘》（Jeopardy!）中。

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《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要

《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要概述

用不同学习方式探索《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要

Introduction: The Nice Girl Problem

Part 1: Understanding the Nice Girl Syndrome

边听边看，每个词都清晰呈现

Part 2: From Nice Girl to Winning Woman

Part 3: Practical Strategies for Success

从 《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》中收获更多

Part 4: Navigating Difficult Conversations

Part 5: Building Your Confidence

边听边看，每个词都清晰呈现

Part 6: Creating the Life You Want

Conclusion

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《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要中的核心主题

《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要精选金句

《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要中的人物

关于作者

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关于《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要的常见问题

What is Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It about?

Who should read Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It?

Is Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It worth reading?

How does Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It differ from Frankel’s Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office?

发现更多

BeFreed 汇聚全球求知若渴的学习者

BeFreed 汇聚全球求知若渴的学习者

用不同学习方式探索《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》摘要

Introduction: The Nice Girl Problem

Part 1: Understanding the Nice Girl Syndrome

边听边看，每个词都清晰呈现

Part 2: From Nice Girl to Winning Woman

Part 3: Practical Strategies for Success

从 《好女孩为什么总是吃亏》中收获更多

Part 4: Navigating Difficult Conversations

Part 5: Building Your Confidence

边听边看，每个词都清晰呈现

Part 6: Creating the Life You Want

Conclusion

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