How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons
《How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons》概述
Master your emotions and stop others from controlling them. Dr. Albert Ellis's groundbreaking guide offers practical cognitive-behavioral techniques that transform relationships and reduce stress. This influential work in REBT psychology has shaped therapeutic approaches worldwide. Ever wonder why Tony Robbins references these principles? Your emotional freedom awaits.
《How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons》核心主题
- rational emotive behavior therapy
- emotional self-regulation
- irrational belief systems
- cognitive reframing
- conflict management
《How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons》经典语录
We create our own emotional distress through irrational thinking patterns.
Events don't cause feelings.
The event itself is neutral; your interpretation creates your experience.
Absolutist thinking is a primary source of unnecessary emotional distress.
Understanding that I control my emotional reactions...was the single most important realization.
《How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons》主要人物
- Albert EllisAuthor and psychologist who developed REBT
关于作者
《How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons》作者介绍
Albert Ellis (1913–2007) was a clinical psychologist and pioneer of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). He authored the self-help classic How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons to help readers manage emotional triggers and improve relationships.
A revolutionary figure in cognitive-behavioral approaches, Ellis spent six decades developing practical strategies to challenge irrational beliefs—a core theme of this book. As founder of the Albert Ellis Institute, he trained therapists worldwide in his evidence-based methods while writing over 80 books, including Reason and Emotion in Psychotherapy and A Guide to Rational Living.
Known for his confrontational style and Friday Night Workshops in New York, Ellis appeared on platforms like The Phil Donahue Show and debated thought leaders across philosophy and mental health fields. His work has been translated into over 30 languages and endorsed by institutions like the American Psychological Association, with REBT remaining a gold-standard therapeutic model. How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons continues his legacy of combining philosophical insights with actionable techniques, selling over 1.5 million copies since its original publication.
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关于本书的常见问题
How to Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons by Albert Ellis teaches readers to manage emotional reactions using Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). It identifies irrational beliefs that escalate stress and provides actionable steps to reframe thoughts, reduce overreactions, and handle personal or professional conflicts calmly.
This book suits anyone facing stress from relationships, work, or daily hassles. It’s ideal for individuals seeking practical strategies to avoid emotional overreactions, parents navigating family challenges, or professionals managing workplace conflicts.
Yes, the book offers timeless, evidence-based techniques to build emotional resilience. Its REBT framework helps readers replace self-sabotaging thoughts with rational responses, making it valuable for personal growth and stress management.
The ABC model explains how Activating events trigger Beliefs (thoughts), which lead to emotional/behavioral Consequences. Ellis emphasizes that changing irrational beliefs (e.g., “I must be perfect”) at Point B prevents overreactions, enabling calmer responses to challenges.
The “Fatal Foursome” refers to self-sabotaging emotions: awfulizing (catastrophizing), I-can’t-stand-it-itis (low frustration tolerance), musterbation (rigid “musts” or “shoulds”), and self/other damnation. These irrational beliefs amplify stress and conflict.
Ellis advises identifying irrational beliefs, reframing them as preferences (e.g., “I’d like this to happen, but it’s not essential”), and using REBT techniques like disputing irrational thoughts. This reduces emotional reactivity and promotes problem-solving.
- “People and things do not push your buttons—you push your own buttons.” Highlights personal responsibility for emotional reactions.
- “Don’t get mad or get even—get placid.” Encourages calm, rational responses over hostility.
Both address emotional control, but Ellis focuses on REBT’s structured framework to reframe beliefs, while Manson emphasizes selective prioritization. Ellis’ approach is more systematic for conflict resolution.
Yes, the book dedicates a chapter to professional settings, teaching readers to manage criticism, deadlines, and difficult colleagues by replacing perfectionism with realistic expectations and assertive communication.
Some readers find the anecdotes repetitive or overly simplistic. Critics note REBT requires consistent practice, which might challenge those seeking quick fixes.
In an era of 24/7 connectivity and heightened stress, its tools for managing digital overwhelm, workplace dynamics, and family conflicts remain practical. The focus on self-driven emotional control aligns with modern mindfulness trends.
It expands on REBT principles introduced in A Guide to Rational Living, applying them to daily button-pushers. The tone is more accessible than Ellis’ academic papers, targeting general readers.
