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    What We Say Matters book cover

    What We Say Matters by Judith Hanson Lasater & Ike K. Lasater Summary

    What We Say Matters
    Judith Hanson Lasater & Ike K. Lasater
    4.08 (520 Reviews)
    Communication skillRelationshipMindfulnessPhilosophy
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    Overview of What We Say Matters

    Discover the transformative power of words in "What We Say Matters," where nonviolent communication meets Buddhist wisdom. With over 64,000 Goodreads ratings, this practical guide has revolutionized relationships, workplaces, and parenting - all by changing how we express our deepest needs.

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    What makes speech truly "spiritual" isn't using special terminology but making an internal shift in awareness.

    ”
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    What We Say Matters — это не просто книга, это мастер-класс по теме Communication skill. Чтобы помочь вам усвоить уроки наиболее удобным способом, мы предлагаем пять уникальных режимов обучения. Независимо от того, глубоко ли вы мыслите, быстро учитесь или любите истории, для вас найдётся подходящий режим.

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    1.5K Ratings4.7
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    Ключевые выводы

    1

    When Words Become Weapons or Bridges

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    Have you ever left a conversation feeling completely drained, as if someone just vacuumed the energy right out of you? Or experienced the opposite-a talk that left you buzzing with connection and understanding? The difference isn't random. It lies in something most of us never learned: how to speak with awareness. We master calculus and chemistry, memorize historical dates and literary devices, yet somehow graduate into adulthood without the slightest clue about conscious communication. We wield language like toddlers swinging hammers, unaware of our power to build or destroy. What if the secret to transforming every relationship in your life-with partners, children, colleagues, even strangers-isn't about what you say, but how you say it? This isn't about political correctness or walking on eggshells. It's about recognizing that each word we speak creates ripples that either connect us or push us further apart. Ancient traditions understood something we've lost: words shape reality. In yoga philosophy, satya (truthfulness) ranks as the second most important ethical principle, right after non-harming. But here's the twist-satya isn't just about honesty. It's about restraint, asking us to pause before speaking and consider whether our words might cause unnecessary pain. Buddhism's concept of "right speech" goes further, outlining four specific things to avoid: lies, gossip, harsh words, and meaningless chatter. Think about your last few conversations. How many would pass this test? These traditions recognized speech's dual power: it reveals our internal landscape while simultaneously shaping others' experiences. When you snap "You never listen!" you're not just describing reality-you're creating it, triggering defensiveness that ensures you won't be heard. But say instead "I feel unheard when I'm speaking and you're looking at your phone," and suddenly there's space for understanding rather than combat.

    2

    The Foundation of Nonviolent Communication

    3

    Four Choices and Clear Requests That Transform Interactions

    4

    Rewriting Your Internal Script and Transforming Interpretation

    5

    When Truth Meets Kindness and Anger Meets Awareness

    6

    The Practice Ground of Intimate Partnership

    7

    Living Compassion in Every Conversation