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Conquering Life on Your Own Terms
When Lilly Singh first sat down to write her book, she felt a mix of excitement, nervousness, and determination. That same energy permeates every page of "How to Be a Bawse" - a guide not just to surviving life, but conquering it. Singh, better known to her millions of YouTube followers as Superwoman, has created a cultural phenomenon that extends far beyond her viral videos. This book has become a favorite among celebrities like Selena Gomez and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (both of whom Singh counts as personal friends), and has inspired a generation of young hustlers looking to make their mark. Time Magazine called it "the ultimate no-nonsense manual for millennials how to make success happen." What makes Singh's approach unique is how she transforms her journey from depression to global stardom into actionable lessons that feel both aspirational and attainable. Her philosophy isn't about shortcuts or life hacks-it's about putting in the work, conquering your thoughts, and building an empire one brick at a time.
Глава 2
Master Your Mind Before Mastering the World
You control your mind, not the other way around. Just as you can direct your arm to touch your nose, you can train your mind to be less negative, jealous, or terrified. Conquering your thoughts means understanding why you feel certain ways and what prompts specific reactions. It's like discovering cheat codes for your own game of life.
Life itself is like a video game where you can only control your character - not the obstacles or enemies. A Bawse understands there are many things beyond our control, and trying to control others is inefficient. When Singh built her dance company, she poured everything into it - transforming her basement into an office, organizing auditions, and working tirelessly on marketing. But she couldn't control her team's commitment. While she pulled all-nighters and invested her own money, dancers would show up late or unprofessionally dressed. The reality was that her dream wasn't theirs.
When she discovered YouTube, Singh felt exhilarated by the independence - she could write, shoot, edit and release videos herself. The only person she needed to control was herself. This mental shift is crucial for success. Instead of trying to manipulate circumstances or people around you, focus on mastering your own reactions and decisions.
Singh learned to conquer her thoughts through dealing with hateful YouTube comments. By analyzing her reactions, she discovered important patterns: people's cruelty often reflects their own bad day, not her; she shouldn't let others' opinions override her own; happiness is stronger than fear; and seeking to reply to negativity is just an impulse to make herself feel better.
These mental cheat codes help in many situations - from handling road rage to declining lucrative but unfulfilling work opportunities. Conquering thoughts requires ongoing self-questioning: WHY do you feel certain ways, WHAT made you act, and HOW could you respond differently. Your mind is your most powerful tool, but only if you learn how to use it properly.
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Strategic Vulnerability: When to Share and When to Shield
Vulnerability has become a buzzword in personal development, but Singh offers a more nuanced perspective. Her mother once told her, "The more details people know about you, the weaker you become." Initially thinking this was cynical advice, Singh eventually learned there's a crucial difference between trusting people and being too vulnerable. No one should know everything about you - keeping some strengths and weaknesses secret is strategic.
Think of yourself as a powerful fort. You know all entrances and secret passageways, but the more you reveal about them, the weaker your fort becomes and the easier it is for people to attack. Like Daenerys Targaryen in Game of Thrones, who kept her dragon powers secret until the perfect moment to deploy them effectively, don't give away all your secrets or vulnerabilities. It's up to you to decide what to reveal and when.
This strategic approach to vulnerability extends to how we handle mistakes. Making mistakes is actually cool - it brings you closer to success because no one has life's answer key. The person who invented the first phone didn't create an iPhone 7 immediately. If you're making mistakes, you're making necessary moves toward figuring things out.
To truly benefit from mistakes, Singh developed four important steps: Take ownership without excuses; call yourself out before someone else does by honestly examining why you made the mistake; find concrete solutions to prevent repeating the mistake; and communicate your ownership and solutions through efficient apologies. When you have the guts to make mistakes and the integrity to own them, people notice. So mess up, call yourself out, and move one step closer to success.
Understanding yourself requires complete honesty - you're like Sherlock Holmes on your most important investigation. Sometimes there's a fourth layer that reveals itself over time - like how Singh realized she was never exposed to healthy relationships growing up, making her believe they don't exist. By sending the GPS deep into her psyche, she's recognized her own irrational thought processes and taken active steps toward working on them.
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The Hustle Mindset: Discomfort, Discipline, and Decision-Making
"Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone." Being uncomfortable is CRUCIAL to developing new skills and gaining valuable experience. You have to seek out situations that make you uncomfortable and then throw yourself into them - not things that risk your life, but things that will help you reach your goals.
When Singh was asked to audition for a major role in a high-budget movie, her initial instinct was to say "hell no" because she was terrified. But when the opportunity came around a second time, she mustered her courage. Though she didn't get the part, she survived the experience and felt amazing afterward. Think of discomfort as currency-it's the price you pay to learn crucial things. The goal isn't always the trophy; sometimes it's the stepping-stones that bring you closer to gold.
Self-control is one of the most important muscles a Bawse can have. Just like any physical muscle, it needs to be worked consistently to grow stronger. Unfortunately, distractions are everywhere - social media notifications, BuzzFeed articles, and endless internet rabbit holes constantly tempt us away from our work.
To build your self-control muscle, Singh recommends three key exercises. First, set specific goals for yourself - either time-based (finish a chapter in x minutes) or task-based (sort through 200 emails). Second, reward yourself appropriately when you meet these goals - like watching Netflix after completing three chapters, but only if you've truly earned it. Consider having someone else control your reward to keep you honest. Third, challenge yourself with self-control training sessions - try not swearing for 24 hours, going vegetarian for two days, or breaking another habit temporarily.
When you consistently work your self-control muscle, you develop stamina that carries over to all areas of your life. During a two-month period without an assistant, Singh pushed herself to edit daily vlogs despite exhaustion. This discipline helped her hustle harder throughout the day - writing more emails, finishing more scripts, and even tackling dishes she would have previously ignored.
Overthinking is the natural enemy of efficiency. A Bawse knows when to think something through and when to simply make a decision. Going in circles gets you nowhere. When creating weekly YouTube content, Singh can't afford to overthink every frame and shot - her weekly videos would become yearly ones. When faced with decisions, take a step back and ask questions that align with your priorities, ignoring all other noise. Sometimes we overthink to avoid making difficult decisions. Take a step back and make those tough decisions. Things can be simple when you take a step back.
Глава 5
From Surviving to Conquering: The Bawse Mentality
Take a look around. Are you in the middle of the ocean? Did your ship just sink? If not, why are you merely trying to survive life when you have all the tools to conquer it?
Singh didn't understand the difference between surviving and conquering until her first world tour. During the first eight shows, she entered each performance thinking, "Just get through this, Lilly." She'd walk onstage, go through the motions safely, and feel relieved when it was over. But before her ninth show, something changed. She decided not to just survive the show but to absolutely kill it. She delivered jokes with more passion, nailed choreography with complete confidence, and put her whole heart into her motivational speech. The result? The crowd's reaction was bigger than ever before, her dancers felt the new energy, and though she was twice as exhausted, she was twice as proud and had twice as much fun.
Conquering requires more work than surviving. It meant knowing her choreography perfectly, being fluent with her material, and fine-tuning her improv skills. It required more rehearsal, more creativity, and sacrificing leisure activities for extra sleep. It meant overcoming nerves to ensure only confidence and passion accompanied her onstage.
Life can be tough, and sometimes survival mode is necessary due to financial problems or health issues. But too often we remain in this mindset instead of taking control. There's a switch within all of us to flick from SURVIVE to CONQUER. Don't just pass your classes; ace them. Don't just pay bills; save enough to travel. Don't just write a script to see a movie made; aim to win an Oscar.
This conquering mentality requires self-love as its foundation. While romantic comedies and love songs have conditioned us to direct our love toward others, the most important relationship is the one with yourself. It's only when you truly love yourself that you can genuinely love others without projecting insecurities onto them.
Self-love is directly connected to being a Bawse. When you care about yourself, you're more likely to be happy, healthy, and productive. You want to make yourself proud, you console yourself after failures, and most importantly, you advocate for yourself to ensure you're treated properly.
Singh didn't always love herself. During her depression, she had to fall in love with herself through an awkward first date. One night, feeling completely alone and hopeless, she started hugging herself out of self-compassion. Over the following weeks, she kept taking herself on dates and began to appreciate her own depth and spark. What finally lifted her from depression was realizing she deserved happiness.
Глава 6
Strategic Success: Vision, Deadlines, and Adaptability
Inspiration is the fuel for your hustle. It runs through your inner engine and gives you the drive to get from your starting point to your goals. Even when you love what you do, you'll have moments of feeling unmotivated. Rather than waiting for spontaneous inspiration to hit, become a big believer in scheduling it. Proactively orchestrate events that will help make you feel inspired.
Singh includes watching shows like Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, and Stranger Things on her to-do list because they spark new ideas for her content. These shows have inspired her to think differently about storytelling, dialogue, and production value. She also schedules time to watch interviews with people she admires. Hearing accomplished people talk about their struggles and successes is like getting a boost from spiritual jumper cables. When you go too long without refueling, your hustle halts.
Every day presents an opportunity to hustle toward what you want in life. A Bawse doesn't just know what they want for Christmas; they know what they want from life. They have visions. This means both vision boards (surfaces with images representing your goals) and visualization (mentally rehearsing both long-term dreams and short-term specific events).
Creating a vision board gives you clarity about what you're working for, helps develop self-awareness about how you define success, and keeps you constantly reminded of your goals. When faced with tough decisions, your vision board can help you evaluate which options align better with your vision. Comparing your first and second vision boards reveals how you've grown and what has become more or less important to you.
Singh used to visualize being interviewed on the radio, practicing plugs like "Hey, this is your girl Superwoman and you're listening to Kiss 92.5" long before her first opportunity came. Before performances, she closes her eyes and sees herself executing every aspect perfectly. The universe might respect the law of attraction, but it respects a good hustle even more. Combine knowing what you want with pretending it's already yours and a strong work ethic, and you can make your visions reality.
Procrastination is a hustler's worst enemy - that little voice craving instant gratification, convincing us anything can be put off until later. When Singh became an entrepreneur, no one was around to tell her what to do or when to do it. With that freedom came the possibility of making bad choices. She quickly learned she had to be her own boss and set deadlines, or she'd go nowhere fast. She created a schedule requiring her to upload videos every Monday and Thursday. Sometimes setting mental deadlines isn't enough - you need to force them upon yourself.
Life is one big negotiation, and a Bawse knows to start high. When negotiating, always aim for the ideal outcome, knowing you'll likely end up with something workable. Like when Singh and her friend Humble wanted to shoot their "IVIVI" music video on the Toronto Raptors court at the ACC stadium - something that typically costs thousands of dollars. Despite the short timeline, she refused to believe it was impossible. She contacted everyone she knew, eventually connecting with the NBA through YouTube. After negotiating insurance requirements and paperwork, they got approval and shot the video in just two hours.
Глава 7
Building Your Empire: The Path to Lasting Success
Parents often teach us to have backup plans - Plan A, B, and C for careers, finances, and even relationships. But Singh encourages focusing only on Plan A and forgetting Plan B. When she decided to pursue YouTube full-time instead of graduate school, her parents gave her a year to prove herself. Though she constantly heard that doubtful voice asking "what if this doesn't work?", everything changed when she watched Kate Winslet in an interview. Winslet said, "If you really want to do something, don't have a Plan B. Having a Plan B means you're expecting your Plan A to fail."
This clarity transformed Singh's approach - instead of having fallback plans, she developed Plan A, Plan A 2.0, and Plan A 3.0. When obstacles arose, she strengthened her strategy rather than considering other paths. It's risky and terrifying, but if you're willing to work for your dream and give 200 percent, put all your eggs in one basket and make that basket golden.
Social media has tricked us into thinking that saying something is the same as doing it. Singh once went on a date with a handsome guy who spent the entire time telling her how funny he was, how nice he was, and all about his accomplishments. He kept saying "that's just the type of person I am" without actually demonstrating any of these qualities. A Bawse knows that to be taken seriously, you need to show people who you are, and then keep showing them consistently. Don't tell your boss you work hard; let your work prove it. Talk is cheap, so leave it at the thrift store.
Almost everything in life is a game with strategy, rules, levels, and players. Whether you're a doctor, painter, student, or lemonade stand owner, knowing the game helps you excel at playing it. Before her first tour, Singh attended as many shows by fellow digital creators as possible - not just to support them, but to study what worked, what needed improvement, and how to differentiate herself. Similarly, she watches YouTube videos during breaks to stay updated on content trends and production quality.
Knowing the game prevents you from being cheated and helps you understand why people do what they do, allowing you to respond strategically rather than emotionally. An agent sending a contract heavily in their favor isn't trying to hurt feelings; they're playing their game. Whatever game you're in, get ready to play.
Unless you're born into royalty, you'll have to start from the bottom and work your way up. When Singh first met Harley Morenstein from Epic Meal Time, she waited hours downtown just to have a forty-five minute conversation that gave her invaluable advice. When climbing the ladder, your pride is often the heaviest thing you wear. The worst thing you can do is act entitled when you're at the bottom.
We're always looking for shortcuts in life - from phone swipes to text abbreviations. But when people ask about Singh's secret to success, the answer is simple: hard work. There is no escalator to success - you must take the stairs. She's not the product of one viral video; instead, each piece of content she's created has contributed to her growth, building a strong foundation. While escalators exist in her industry - clickbait thumbnails, misleading titles, putting others down - they don't create lasting success. Your foundation isn't solid when built too quickly or dishonestly.
Глава 8
The Balanced Bawse: Self-Care, Presence, and Perspective
When you're hustling hard as a Bawse, the key is knowing when to pause. People often ask if Singh has a clone because she accomplishes so much, but the secret isn't working non-stop - it's working effectively by taking strategic breaks.
You can only sustain relentless work when you ENJOY what you're doing. If Singh hated creating Superwoman content, she couldn't possibly manage forty emails, script writing, meetings, video recording, editing, conference calls, interviews and vlogging all in one day. Unlike a nine-to-five job you hate but can escape at 5pm, a consuming career requires genuine passion.
But even when you love your work, burnout happens. Singh learned this lesson in Italy when meeting Pharrell Williams. After an exhausting travel schedule, she was disappointed to see her itinerary started at 8am rather than the relaxing pasta-by-the-pool afternoon she craved. The consequence? She found herself sitting across from Pharrell, in Italy, heading to dinner under the stars at an ancient temple - and all she could think was "I can't wait to go to sleep." What a waste! She was having an extraordinary experience but couldn't appreciate it because she hadn't paused to recharge.
To prevent burnout, Singh developed two key practices. First, she meditates - not at 5am with her legs behind her head, but in her own way. She sits cross-legged in a quiet place, lights a candle, breathes deeply, smiles genuinely, and whispers about her concerns, goals, and fears, always ending by acknowledging her blessings and reminding herself she's her own best advocate. Second, she disconnects from technology to fully experience important moments, whether it's twenty minutes appreciating the view from Singapore's Marina Bay Sands infinity pool or sitting alone with an award she's won.
Life is like a YouTube video - when too many things happen simultaneously, you begin to lag until you're completely frozen. The solution? Pause to regroup. That pause is your responsibility.
Being active isn't about looking sexy or getting a six-pack-it's about ensuring your body can keep up with your hustle. Having an amazing work ethic means nothing if your body can't handle your pace. You don't need to become a fitness guru; small changes can make a big difference. Stretch in the mornings to feel more energized. Take stairs instead of escalators, walk instead of drive, and dance while getting ready. A Bawse knows you can't have a happy mind in an unhappy body-they'd fight and break up.
Life is like Mario Kart-we race through each day trying to reach our destination while dodging obstacles at every turn. Singh has learned to identify and tackle daily stresses by listing them out and finding solutions. For parking issues, she has her assistant list parking options in her calendar. For dead phones, she's placed chargers throughout her apartment and bag. For dry lips, she's strategically placed ChapSticks everywhere. For hunger, she pre-packs food and keeps granola bars accessible. Instead of getting frustrated by obstacles, take a deep breath and ask, "What can I change next time to avoid this situation?"
Глава 9
Creating Your Legacy: Values, Connections, and Gratitude
A true Bawse recognizes there is always a force more powerful than them - whether God, science, spirits, or evolution. This understanding keeps you grounded no matter how high you climb. When people start treating you differently because of your success, believing in a higher power keeps your ego in check. You can work as hard as possible, but without a greater force, you wouldn't have what you have. Everything could be taken away at any moment.
Values don't get to take vacations. If you stay true to them only when things are going well, they're just hobbies. A Bawse upholds values even during difficult situations. We're all guilty of compromising our beliefs when angry or stressed, but that doesn't make it right. Take bullying - we wear special colors on anti-bullying days and tweet supportive hashtags, then turn around and repost videos of celebrities falling flat on their faces. Bullying is still bullying even when the victim is famous. Your values shouldn't change based on circumstances or whether someone's watching.
When Singh feels herself straying from her values, she refers to her personal manifesto - a list of guidelines she created to live by. She reviews it weekly, recites her values daily, and visualizes them when upset. Having strong values isn't mandatory, but it makes you trustworthy and builds self-control. Let your values be the powerhouse of your cell - even more important than those mitochondria you learned about in school.
Work hard and be nice to people - that's Singh's formula for success. While most people nod at the "work hard" part, they often dismiss the importance of being nice. But there are three cold hard facts about why niceness matters. First, every successful person has a team they communicate with daily, and teamwork is essential for success. Being nice to others makes you a better team player - starting with Team Humanity. Second, successful people understand the power of positivity. Mean people exude negative energy, while being nice creates a positive environment that fuels success. Third, people provide opportunities - they interview you, hire you, and help you grow. Being proactively nice leaves lasting impressions, like when Singh sent a thank-you email to an entire YouTube crew that made a significant impact. Remember: people won't always remember what you did or said, but they'll always remember how you made them feel.
Instead of bashing what you hate, focus on promoting what you love. Smashing a pinata filled with things you dislike might feel good momentarily, but it doesn't solve any problems. Your actions function like YouTube recommendations - the more you engage with something, the more of it you'll see. When faced with controversial questions in media interviews, Singh has learned to highlight positives rather than criticize negatives. There are exceptions - sometimes we must speak against harmful things - but even then, focus on solutions rather than just complaints.
We often get annoyed at life's imperfections while forgetting how privileged we truly are. Your life is actually pretty awesome - you're reading this book, have clothes, shelter, and basic necessities. To be a Bawse, you must constantly remind yourself to be grateful and appreciate what you have. Try rewiring your brain by calling out simple things you usually overlook - say them aloud to make yourself aware. When stuck in traffic, say "I'm driving in a car in a beautiful city on a hot summer day." Sometimes gaining gratitude requires witnessing alternative ways of living - seeing children in Kenya excited just by a passing car made Singh's Wi-Fi complaints seem trivial. Remember to pause and reflect on milestones instead of becoming complacent once you've achieved goals.
Your mind, body, and soul form the most important team in your life. When these three elements work together in harmony, you achieve genuine happiness and optimal productivity. If one team member doesn't cooperate, everything becomes inefficient. Think of yourself as a machine that functions properly only when all parts work together. You know your team is out of sync when your Facebook status doesn't reflect your real-life actions or your heart's true beliefs. When everything's in harmony, you never have to fake anything. Listen to your mind, work with your body, feel with your soul - be in sync.
