1장
Rewriting the Marketing Playbook: How Relationships Transform Business
Have you ever wondered why some brands inspire unwavering loyalty while others struggle to connect? Imagine checking into a $2.7 billion luxury hotel in Las Vegas, only to have your entire perception shaped not by the opulent surroundings but by a single carpet cleaner named Wes who genuinely welcomes you. This transformative moment at the Wynn Hotel sparked Scott Stratten's revolutionary approach to business: UnMarketing. Since its first publication in 2009, UnMarketing has become required reading in over 50 university curriculums worldwide, reshaping how businesses approach customer relationships. Celebrities like Gary Vaynerchuk and Seth Godin have praised Stratten's no-nonsense approach that challenges conventional marketing wisdom. In a world obsessed with digital tactics and automation, Stratten's fundamental premise remains refreshingly simple yet profound: if business is built on relationships, make building them your business.
2장
The Relationship Hierarchy: Where Trust Trumps Advertising
When business owners are asked how they make purchasing decisions, a clear hierarchy emerges. At the top sit current satisfied customers, who not only continue to buy but actively champion your business. These customers represent the gold standard of business relationships, having experienced your value firsthand. Just below them are referrals from trusted sources - recommendations that carry the weight of established credibility. Next come existing relationships without purchases, followed by recognized experts in the field whose opinions shape market perceptions. At the very bottom-what Stratten calls "the greasy bottom level"-are random searches, advertisements, and cold-calls (which he prefers to call "telespam"), representing the least effective and most competitive space.
This hierarchy reveals a fundamental truth: the higher you position yourself with your market, the less competition you face. Building relationships takes time but yields far better results than focusing solely on bottom-level tactics where competition is fierce and margins are thin. For example, a business with strong customer relationships might maintain 40% margins while competitors fighting for random search traffic struggle with 15% margins.
Consider the trust gap-how much trust someone needs before they'll buy from you. Many businesses mistakenly focus only on price barriers when the real issue is trust. For service-based businesses like professional organizing, allowing someone into your disorganized home requires significant trust that isn't established merely by offering a "free consultation." The same applies to financial advisors handling life savings or healthcare providers treating loved ones - price isn't the primary barrier.
Better approaches include providing valuable content through blogs or newsletters, creating lower-trust products like e-books, and networking to build relationships. For instance, a financial advisor might start by offering free retirement planning workshops, then progress to one-on-one consultations once trust is established. Areas with particularly large trust gaps include accounting, childcare, wellness practitioners, life insurance, counseling, coaching, and legal services-all fields where cold-calling never increases trust.
To position yourself higher in this hierarchy, work toward becoming a recognized expert in your field. This doesn't mean proclaiming yourself THE expert (which suggests knowing everything) but rather AN expert-someone with "special skill or knowledge derived from training or experience." Share case studies, write industry analyses, speak at conferences, and contribute to professional publications. The key is using your knowledge to help others unconditionally. When you're truly great at what you do, others will recognize and promote your expertise for you, creating a virtuous cycle of trust-based relationships and referrals.
3장
Engagement Marketing: Creating Memorable Connections
Traditional marketing often focuses on interrupting people with messages they didn't ask for - from TV commercials that disrupt favorite shows to unsolicited sales calls during dinner. Engagement marketing flips this approach by creating meaningful interactions that build lasting relationships through genuine connection and value delivery.
Real estate agent Petrus Engelbrecht demonstrated this brilliantly after hearing Scott rave about Ronald's Donuts on his podcast. Though Scott wasn't in the market for a house, Petrus sent him these coveted donuts without asking for anything in return. The timing and thoughtfulness of the gesture made it memorable - it wasn't just about the donuts, but about showing he truly listened and cared. When Scott eventually decided to buy a home months later, Petrus was the only agent he considered. The initial gesture opened the door, but Petrus's skills and passion kept it open. He continued impressing Scott with personalized touches like a commissioned Wolverine artwork (knowing Scott's love for comics) and regular check-ins that showed genuine interest beyond just making a sale.
The lesson? Great marketing isn't just about targeting people ready to buy-it's about staying memorable so when they're ready, they choose you. This requires playing the long game and focusing on relationship building rather than immediate transactions. However, no marketing gimmick works without genuine skill and excellent service to back it up. The initial connection must be supported by consistent value delivery.
Contrast this with a struggling restaurant that rejected Scott's advice to host exclusive free dining nights for residents of nearby condo towers. The owners balked at the few thousand dollars cost despite spending $5,000 monthly on magazine ads with unmeasurable results. They couldn't see past the immediate expense to recognize the long-term value of creating memorable experiences and word-of-mouth marketing. The restaurant eventually closed, proving that traditional advertising alone isn't enough. Businesses must view such engagement events as investments in future growth, not mere expenses. Getting people through the door is essential-they can't return or recommend you if they never experience what you offer firsthand.
This approach extends to retail settings too. At an "Art by the Lake" event, Scott observed artists failing to capitalize on interested visitors. Most sat passively while potential customers admired their work but eventually walked away without any follow-up mechanism in place. This exemplifies "push-and-pray marketing"-displaying products and hoping for sales without active engagement. Instead, artists should use the "pull-and-stay" method: actively engaging with interested visitors, collecting contact information, and nurturing relationships over time through newsletters, studio visit invitations, and personal updates about new works. This creates an ongoing dialogue that transforms one-time browsers into long-term collectors and advocates.
The key to successful engagement marketing lies in understanding that every interaction is an opportunity to create a memorable connection that could lead to future business. It's about building a community of advocates rather than just a customer base.
4장
Social Media Evolution: From Platforms to Conversations
Social media isn't about Twitter, Facebook, or the latest website trend-it's about having meaningful online conversations with your market, customers, and colleagues. The term "social media" misleads people because they associate "media" with pushing messages outward, but it's really about two-way communication.
Companies constantly make excuses for avoiding social media: no time, no ROI, no control, or geographic limitations for local businesses. Claiming you have "no time" for social media means you have no time for customers. The ROI complaint is equally weak-most traditional sales activities can't calculate precise ROI either. It's more about return on relationships (ROR).
Using social media effectively requires building social currency first-investing time, knowledge and effort before trying to withdraw monetary value. You need to engage with fans rather than just collecting them, interact with LinkedIn connections rather than just pitching to them, and allow comments on your blog rather than just publishing content.
Since the book's first edition, social platforms have evolved into three distinct types:
Conversational platforms include Facebook (now the Internet's front page for over a billion daily users), Twitter (the real-time reaction platform for breaking news and events), and LinkedIn (the "social media safe word" for most business people).
Visual platforms like Instagram and Pinterest have grown popular as photo and video technology has advanced. Success here requires creating shareable visual content, not just repurposing text posts.
Dark social refers to private messaging platforms like Snapchat, WhatsApp, and Facebook Messenger. Despite having billions of users, these platforms struggle to monetize without compromising the privacy that makes them popular. Brands must consider whether they fit naturally in these spaces.
With too many options available, it's impossible to maintain a meaningful presence everywhere simultaneously. Instead, build a focused "social media platform"-starting small before expanding. Like a band that must fill a club before filling a stadium, your strategy should follow three steps: traction, momentum, and expansion.
5장
The Power Shift: When Customers Control the Conversation
Social media has fundamentally shifted power dynamics between companies and consumers. What was once a single customer complaint call can now transform into a full-scale revolt when amplified by influential blogs and Twitter users.
The "Motrin Moms" campaign of 2008 perfectly illustrates this new reality. The company released an advertisement suggesting mothers wear baby carriers as a fashion statement rather than for practicality, implying they should take Motrin for the resulting pain. Released on a Friday, the company likely celebrated before leaving for the weekend-only to return Monday to 20,000 angry emails after offended mothers mobilized across blogs, Facebook, and Twitter.
Social media transforms traditional one-on-one customer service into public interactions that can dramatically benefit or harm your brand. When handled well, public customer service demonstrates that you're listening and caring, while potentially solving multiple customers' issues with a single response.
Tufts University's cafeterias exemplify excellent public customer service through their Twitter accounts. When a student complained about a disgusting apple, they responded promptly, acknowledged the issue, and took ownership rather than dismissing it.
Conversely, Dark Horse Cafe demonstrates disastrous customer service when responding to a customer's tweet about insufficient electrical outlets. Rather than acknowledging the feedback, they dismissed her concern with "we are in the coffee business, not the office business" and suggested she "take a break from your computer."
The modern reality is that people are discussing your business online whether you participate or not. Smart companies monitor these conversations, respond thoughtfully, and sometimes even watch competitors' interactions for opportunities to win over dissatisfied customers.
Remember that the loudest customers-both complainers and advocates-represent only about 1% of your marketplace. Most dissatisfied customers won't confront you directly; they simply take their business elsewhere without saying goodbye. Social media's true value lies in accessing these non-confrontational customers who would otherwise remain silent.
6장
The Seven Deadly Social Media Sins: Avoiding Common Pitfalls
Social media's rapid evolution has created a landscape where most users and businesses are learning through trial and error. While experimentation is valuable, certain recurring mistakes - or "sins" - consistently undermine social media effectiveness and authenticity:
Greed manifests when people treat social media purely as a promotional megaphone rather than an engagement platform. Common greedy behaviors include excessive self-promotion, creating "link farms" of promotional content, and constantly retweeting praise about themselves or their business. On Facebook, greedy tactics include adding lengthy promotional signatures to every post, mass-inviting people to irrelevant events for visibility, and tagging unrelated individuals in posts simply to appear in their feeds. These practices often result in audience fatigue and reduced engagement.
Gluttony appears in the obsessive pursuit of vanity metrics - the endless chase for followers, likes, and shares without meaningful interaction. Examples include purchasing fake followers, participating in follow-back schemes, and mass-connecting with random users to inflate numbers. This approach prioritizes quantity over quality, leading to hollow networks lacking genuine engagement or business value. Studies show accounts with fewer but engaged followers typically generate better results than those with large, disengaged audiences.
Sloth manifests through inconsistent engagement and delayed responses to community interaction. When users take weeks or months to reply to comments or messages, they signal disinterest in genuine connection. The authors cite a case where a major brand took 79 days to respond to a customer complaint, severely damaging their reputation. Successful social media management requires regular, consistent attention - ideally 45 minutes daily rather than sporadic marathon sessions.
Envy drives destructive behavior when users constantly compare themselves to others' carefully curated highlights. This leads to content theft, where businesses download and repost others' viral content without attribution (freebooting), or when individuals copy successful strategies without understanding their context. The authors note that Facebook reported over 250,000 cases of freebooting violations in one quarter alone.
Wrath emerges in impulsive, emotional responses to criticism or disagreement. This includes public call-outs, aggressive responses to negative feedback, and self-appointed "grammar police" who publicly shame others for minor errors. The authors emphasize the HR principle: "Praise in public and reprimand in private," suggesting that contentious issues should be handled through private channels whenever possible.
Lust manifests in inappropriate or unwanted social interactions, particularly affecting women online. This ranges from unsolicited personal comments to aggressive pursuit of connections despite clear disinterest. Professional boundaries are essential - the authors share examples where seemingly innocent comments like "Your lips look tasty" on professional photos created hostile environments and damaged professional relationships.
Pride, interestingly, is the one "sin" the authors partially endorse. They encourage celebrating genuine achievements and supporting others' successes, provided it's done authentically and in moderation. The key is maintaining a balance between self-promotion and community engagement. Their research suggests that accounts sharing 80% valuable content and 20% promotional material typically perform best.
7장
Authenticity and Transparency: The Currency of Modern Business
Authenticity in business means leveraging your strongest asset-yourself. Stop pretending to be like others and focus on your strengths while outsourcing weaknesses. Being authentic is simpler than maintaining a facade-you never need to remember what you said to avoid contradicting yourself.
However, authenticity requires careful consideration of where to draw the line with personal opinions. When you share or retweet content, you're endorsing those views, which can affect business relationships. Don't reveal something for authenticity's sake that you wouldn't want displayed on a billboard with your name and company logo.
Transparency simply means being honest in all business areas. The challenge is that transparency standards are subjective, defined by personal values. Remember that your market may have higher ethical standards than you do, and perception is everything.
Scott uncovered a perfect example when Bell Mobility released a new app. Their original app had a dismal two-star rating from 2,674 users. Instead of improving it, they released a "new" app under "Bell Canada" (rather than "Bell Mobility Inc."), which mysteriously earned a 4.5-star average from 89 reviewers. A quick LinkedIn search revealed the truth: the glowing reviews came from Bell employees including an Associate Director, Performance Manager, Marketing Manager, IT Executive, and Senior Project Manager-none of whom disclosed their company affiliations.
This investigation took just five minutes on LinkedIn and ultimately resulted in a $1.25 million fine from the Canadian Competition Bureau-the first known penalty for employee review manipulation.
Auto-tweeting or ghost posting raises similar transparency issues. When polled about automated messages, followers reacted overwhelmingly negatively. People expect that when they see your post, you're actually writing it at that moment. Using automation systems tells followers you're only there to talk, not listen.
Some people delegate posting to assistants who pretend to be them. Though efficient, this destroys transparency. You wouldn't send your assistant to have coffee with someone pretending to be you, or hire an actor to represent you at networking events.
8장
Creating Remarkable Customer Experiences That Drive Word-of-Mouth
The Experience Gap represents the difference between a company's best and worst customer interactions. Businesses often create excellent experiences to secure first-time sales but fail to maintain that level of service for existing customers. Your service quality is only as good as your weakest touchpoint, not your strongest.
Cirque du Soleil exemplifies eliminating the Experience Gap by maintaining excellence at every customer touchpoint. From the moment Scott entered the theater for "Ka" at MGM Grand, every staff member-from ticket scanners to bartenders to ushers-stayed in character and demonstrated genuine enthusiasm. What impressed Scott most was that this attention to detail was unnecessary given the show's inherent quality, yet Cirque understood that even minor negative interactions could diminish the overall experience.
Businesses often focus disproportionately on acquiring new customers despite it costing 5-10 times more than retaining existing ones. Satisfied customers become your most effective marketers-your "word-of-mouth army." Scott illustrates this principle with his coffee habit shift away from Tim Hortons, a beloved Canadian institution. Despite being a loyal customer spending approximately $700 annually (representing a potential $7,000 lifetime value over ten years), small consistent frustrations like unstirred coffee eventually drove him away.
Zappos exemplifies UnMarketing by empowering every employee to prioritize customer needs, creating a brand defined by service rather than products. Their customer service goes beyond standard practices, as illustrated by the touching story of a man who ordered shoes for his hospitalized mother but couldn't return them after she passed away. Zappos not only arranged free pickup and full refund despite being outside the return window, but also sent condolence flowers.
FreshBooks creates remarkable customer experiences through both grand gestures (like their RV road trip from Miami to Austin to meet users) and personalized touches (sending flowers to a customer who tweeted about being stood up, or shipping Triscuits to a customer in Fiji who couldn't get them locally). Their commitment to customer relationships extends to their hiring process-every new employee, regardless of position, spends their first two months in customer support to truly understand their users.
9장
From Websites to Trade Shows: Creating Engagement Everywhere
Despite years passing since the original writing, many business websites still make fundamental mistakes. Companies should be wary of building their online presence solely on platforms like Facebook where content ownership is compromised and user attention is constantly divided.
Too many websites function merely as digital brochures with nothing to offer except products to buy. Effective business websites should serve as knowledge hubs where visitors can learn valuable information. Sharing expertise freely doesn't eliminate the need for your services-people hire you for the application of knowledge to their specific situations.
Many newsletters are simply product pitches in disguise, often using misleading subject lines to boost open rates. Effective newsletters focus on engagement rather than metrics like list size or open rates. They deliver the valuable content subscribers signed up for, and make unsubscribing simple and immediate (not the "7-10 business days" some companies require).
Trade shows offer excellent engagement opportunities, but many vendors sabotage themselves with poor booth behavior. Scott observed vendors sitting down, forming closed conversation circles, or judging attendees by their badges. At a human resources conference as a student, Scott experienced three HRMS software vendors who dismissed him based on his "student" ribbon, while a fourth welcomed him enthusiastically. Eight months later, when Scott's employer asked him to recommend an HRMS system for a $100,000 purchase, guess which vendor he chose?
Lisa's story about the woodworking trade show perfectly illustrates how prejudice affects results-all vendors talked to her husband while ignoring her, except for one Hegner representative who included her in the demonstration. She surprised everyone by purchasing the $1,500 saw from the only vendor who respected her.
Social media creates powerful engagement opportunities before and during trade shows. Start by finding the event's hashtag on the trade show website or create one if none exists. Use this hashtag to connect with attendees and other vendors before the event begins-these pre-show relationships can lead to business partnerships and practical support during the show.
10장
The Future of UnMarketing: Building Relationships That Last
The digital age has fundamentally transformed how we connect with customers and audiences, creating unprecedented opportunities for meaningful engagement. Being an author in today's landscape means experiencing a continuous feedback loop through social media-Scott regularly wakes up to dozens of tweets from readers sharing their favorite passages, insights, and how they're applying UnMarketing principles in their businesses. This creates a vibrant "passive conversation" between readers worldwide that was impossible in the traditional publishing model, fostering a global community of like-minded professionals.
Digital books have revolutionized publishing in multiple transformative ways. Beyond just convenience, they've created new possibilities for engagement and learning. Readers can instantly purchase books during live events after being inspired by a speaker, share highlighted passages with their networks, and participate in virtual book clubs across time zones. The Kindle platform's analytics provide authors with unprecedented insights - showing which passages readers highlight most frequently, where they tend to stop reading, and how quickly they consume content. This represents invaluable market research that helps authors understand their audience's needs and interests with precision.
Scott's innovative "UnBook Tour" exemplifies the power of community-driven marketing. Without traditional publisher support, he leveraged social media to create a grassroots movement where communities across North America invited him to their cities. The tour included 30 cities in 45 days, with local businesses and professionals hosting events, arranging venues, and creating unique experiences in each location. This demonstrated how online connections could translate into powerful real-world relationships and business opportunities. The tour generated significant media attention and established Scott as a sought-after speaker, proving that authentic community engagement can surpass traditional marketing approaches.
Small, thoughtful touches in customer experience can create disproportionate impact. During his travels, Scott documented numerous examples, like Embassy Suites' clever "Do Not Disturb" sign that went viral on social media. Another example was a local coffee shop that remembered regular customers' orders and had them ready before they reached the counter. These small innovations cost little but create memorable moments that customers eagerly share with others, generating organic word-of-mouth marketing.
While digital platforms enable unprecedented reach and connection, Scott emphasizes that they should enhance rather than replace face-to-face interactions. Social media serves as an excellent tool for initial connection and maintaining relationships between in-person meetings. He recommends using platforms like LinkedIn and Twitter to warm up relationships before conferences or business meetings, making face-to-face interactions more meaningful and productive.
The future of marketing remains grounded in timeless principles while embracing new tools and technologies. Creating exceptional products, delivering outstanding service, and building genuine community will always be valuable, regardless of which social platforms emerge or fade. Scott advocates for focusing on creating remarkable experiences worth sharing, maintaining ethical business practices, and prioritizing customer experience above short-term gains. While technologies and platforms will continuously evolve, these fundamental principles remain constant.
The core philosophy of UnMarketing endures: If you truly believe business is built on relationships, make building and nurturing those relationships your primary focus. This means investing time in understanding your community's needs, consistently delivering value, and creating meaningful connections that transcend traditional transaction-based business models.
