What is The Jealousy Workbook by Kathy Labriola about?

The Jealousy Workbook by Kathy Labriola is a practical guide designed to help individuals in open relationships and polyamorous arrangements understand and manage jealousy. Written by a counselor and nurse with decades of experience, the book provides exercises, techniques, and insights specifically tailored for navigating jealousy in consensually non-monogamous relationships. It combines Labriola's clinical expertise with wisdom from top educators and therapists in the polyamory community.

Who is Kathy Labriola and what makes her qualified to write about jealousy?

Kathy Labriola is a counselor, nurse, and hypnotherapist in private practice in Berkeley, California, who has been polyamorous for over 50 years. She specializes in providing affordable mental health services to alternative communities, including poly, queer, kink, and anarchist subcultures. Labriola has authored four books on consensual non-monogamy, including Love in Abundance, The Polyamory Breakup Book, and Polyamorous Elders, making her a leading voice in polyamory counseling and education.

Who should read The Jealousy Workbook?

The Jealousy Workbook is ideal for anyone in or considering open relationships, polyamory, or consensually non-monogamous arrangements who struggles with jealousy. It's particularly useful for those in hierarchical polyamory or relationships with primary partnerships. The book benefits both individuals experiencing jealousy crises and those wanting to build preventative skills before problems arise. However, people pursuing non-hierarchical polyamory or relationship anarchy may find some content less relatable.

Is The Jealousy Workbook by Kathy Labriola worth reading?

The Jealousy Workbook is worth reading for its practical, actionable exercises and compassionate approach to jealousy management in open relationships. Readers appreciate Labriola's accessible techniques that can be implemented during intense jealousy crises or used proactively to build emotional resilience. One important note: readers strongly recommend purchasing the printed version rather than the Kindle edition to fully engage with the workbook exercises. The book's main limitation is its focus on hierarchical polyamory structures.

What are the main jealousy management techniques in The Jealousy Workbook?

The Jealousy Workbook contains practical exercises designed for immediate crisis intervention and long-term skill development in managing jealousy. Labriola emphasizes compassion, particularly self-compassion, as a foundational tool for navigating jealous feelings. The book helps readers identify their emotional triggers, understand their needs, and develop strategies to exit overthinking spirals. Rather than treating jealousy as something to eliminate, the workbook frames it as valuable information about personal needs and boundaries.

Should I buy the print or digital version of The Jealousy Workbook?

Multiple readers strongly recommend purchasing the printed version of The Jealousy Workbook rather than the Kindle or digital edition. Since the book is an interactive workbook with numerous exercises meant to be completed by writing directly in the book, the physical format is essential for the full experience. The printed version allows you to work through exercises, journal responses, and return to completed sections for reflection, making it significantly more practical and effective than attempting to use the workbook digitally.

How does The Jealousy Workbook address hierarchical versus non-hierarchical polyamory?

The Jealousy Workbook primarily centers on hierarchical polyamory and open relationships involving primary partnerships. Many exercises focus on how individuals in primary relationships can manage jealousy and negotiate boundaries with their partners. Readers pursuing non-hierarchical polyamory or relationship anarchy have noted that this focus can feel limiting and may even trigger additional jealous thoughts about hierarchy itself. Those seeking guidance specifically for non-hierarchical structures may find some content requires adaptation to their relationship model.

What does The Jealousy Workbook teach about self-compassion in polyamory?

The Jealousy Workbook emphasizes compassion for everyone involved in open relationships, but particularly self-compassion when experiencing jealousy. Labriola recognizes that unlearning monogamy is challenging given society's constant reinforcement of monogamous norms through pop culture. The book frames jealous thoughts not as personal failures to be ashamed of, but as valuable signals that reveal important information about your needs and boundaries. This compassionate approach helps readers avoid self-blame while working through difficult emotions.

질투 워크북

오픈 관계 관리를 위한 연습과 통찰

캐시 라브리올라

4(317 Reviews)

질투 워크북 개요

"윤리적 슬럿(The Ethical Slut)"의 공동 저자 도시 이스턴(Dossie Easton)이 추천한 캐시 라브리올라(Kathy Labriola)의 실용 워크북은 폴리아모리의 가장 큰 과제인 질투 문제를 다룹니다. 이 책은 이성애 중심적이라는 비판을 받기도 하지만, 관계의 불안감을 풍요로운 연결로 변화시키는 연습이 필요한 비독점적 다자연애 공동체에게는 여전히 필독서로 꼽힙니다.

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질투 워크북의 같은 아이디어를 담았습니다. 나에게 맞는 목소리, 깊이, 속도를 고르고 언제든 바꿔 보세요.

1장

When Jealousy Strikes: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Open Relationships

Imagine discovering your partner has developed feelings for someone else-and instead of hiding it, they want to explore that connection with your blessing. For most of us, this scenario triggers immediate panic. Yet Kathy Labriola's "The Jealousy Workbook" has become the go-to resource for thousands navigating the complex emotional landscape of non-monogamy. As a counselor, nurse, and hypnotist with decades of experience, Labriola has earned praise from relationship experts like Esther Perel, who calls the book "essential reading for anyone considering opening their relationship." The workbook has developed a cult following among polyamorous communities across North America and Europe, with many poly support groups using it as their primary teaching tool. What makes this book particularly valuable is its practical, compassionate approach to an emotion many consider unmanageable-offering concrete strategies rather than abstract theory for one of life's most challenging emotional experiences.

2장

Understanding Your Relationship Orientation: Are You Wired for Monogamy or Polyamory?

Before diving into jealousy management techniques, Labriola emphasizes a crucial first step: determining whether you're naturally inclined toward monogamy or polyamory. Many people attempt non-monogamy because a partner desires it, without honestly assessing their own orientation. This self-awareness is fundamental to deciding whether working through jealousy in an open relationship is worth the effort. The author notes that rushing into polyamory without this foundational understanding often leads to painful experiences and relationship breakdown. Just as sexuality exists on a spectrum, relationship orientation ranges from strictly monogamous to naturally polyamorous. Some people fall in the middle with what Labriola calls a "mixed relationship orientation," potentially comfortable in either relationship style depending on circumstances and partners. Understanding where you fall on this continuum requires examining your relationship history, emotional patterns, and core values around intimacy. The book emphasizes that relationship orientation often remains stable throughout life, though it may evolve with significant life experiences or personal growth. The book provides comprehensive exercises to help readers identify their natural inclinations. One particularly revealing activity asks you to evaluate your experiences in monogamous relationships - did you feel secure, intimate, honest, and satisfied? Or did you struggle with boredom, restriction, and desire for others? Similarly, if you've experienced open relationships, did you feel comfortable with the freedom, honesty, and emotional complexity? The assessment includes detailed questionnaires examining comfort levels with various scenarios, from partner sharing to managing multiple relationships. These questions help reveal your authentic relationship orientation. If you score high on monogamy indicators but low on polyamory compatibility, forcing yourself into an open relationship will likely cause prolonged suffering before inevitable relationship failure. Signs of monogamous orientation include strong possessive feelings, difficulty sharing emotional intimacy, and genuine fulfillment in exclusive partnerships. Conversely, naturally polyamorous people often feel constrained and unfulfilled in monogamous arrangements, experiencing a persistent desire for multiple meaningful connections and an innate ability to love more than one person simultaneously. Understanding your orientation isn't about judgment - neither monogamy nor polyamory is inherently superior. Rather, this self-knowledge allows you to make relationship choices aligned with your emotional needs and capabilities, potentially saving years of unnecessary struggle trying to fit a relationship model that fundamentally conflicts with your nature. Labriola emphasizes that relationship success depends more on authenticity and self-awareness than on conforming to any particular relationship style. The book encourages readers to embrace their natural orientation while remaining compassionate toward those with different relationship needs. The author also addresses the common misconception that relationship orientation can be changed through willpower or therapy. While people can learn to function in different relationship styles, attempting to permanently alter one's fundamental orientation often leads to emotional distress and relationship dysfunction. Instead, Labriola advocates for honest communication about orientation differences early in relationships, allowing partners to make informed decisions about compatibility.

들리는 모든 단어를 눈으로 확인하세요

질투 워크북의 각 단어가 오디오에 맞춰 실시간으로 강조되어 편하게 따라 읽을 수 있습니다.

3장

The Cost-Benefit Analysis: What You Gain and Lose in Open Relationships

When couples open their relationship, they typically focus on potential benefits-increased intimacy, sexual variety, personal growth-while overlooking inevitable losses. Labriola emphasizes the importance of conducting a thorough "cost-benefit analysis" before proceeding, just as you would with any major life decision. The exercise begins by identifying what aspects of monogamy and polyamory you value most. For monogamy, this might include security, feeling special, or sexual safety. Polyamory offers different benefits like more diverse connections, greater honesty about attractions, and personal freedom. Each relationship style also carries costs-monogamy might mean restriction and boredom, while polyamory typically involves uncertainty and complex scheduling. After identifying these factors, you rate each on a scale of 1-10 to determine its importance in your life. This process reveals what you stand to gain and lose by opening your relationship. Consider Sandy's experience: her greatest costs in opening her marriage were losing her status as "the one and only" and facing the reality of her husband's attraction to others. However, she found these outweighed by escaping stifling relationship patterns and gaining the affection and romance she craved. Despite initially grieving these losses, Sandy ultimately found polyamory increased her overall satisfaction-and unexpectedly, her husband became more attentive when other men showed interest in her. This exercise isn't about finding a "perfect" solution without downsides. Rather, it's about making a conscious choice with full awareness of the tradeoffs involved. Some people discover that what they'd sacrifice in monogamy (freedom, honesty about attractions) is worth more to them than what they'd lose in polyamory (certainty, simplicity). Others realize the opposite. By acknowledging and grieving inevitable losses upfront, you develop emotional resilience for the challenges ahead. This conscious choice-making transforms the experience from something that happens to you into something you actively choose, with all its complexities.

4장

Jealousy Through the Life Span: Learning from Past Experiences

Jealousy isn't unique to romantic relationships - we experience it throughout life in various contexts. From childhood sibling rivalry to workplace competition, most people have developed effective strategies for managing jealousy in non-romantic situations. Labriola suggests examining these experiences to uncover coping mechanisms you can apply to romantic jealousy, emphasizing that our emotional responses often follow patterns established early in life. The comprehensive exercise explores jealousy across your life stages, beginning with early childhood experiences. You examine fundamental instances like competing for parental attention, feeling excluded by friends, or being compared to siblings. These formative experiences often create emotional templates that influence adult responses to jealousy. For instance, a child who successfully learned to voice their needs when feeling left out might naturally gravitate toward direct communication in adult relationships. The analysis then moves to adolescent experiences, where jealousy takes on new dimensions through friendship dynamics, academic competition, and early romantic encounters. This period often introduces more complex forms of jealousy involving social status, personal achievement, and peer acceptance. Understanding these transitional experiences can reveal how your jealousy responses evolved over time. Adult non-romantic jealousy presents its own unique patterns, manifesting in professional competition, social comparisons, and family dynamics. Common scenarios include workplace rivalry, feeling overshadowed by successful friends, or managing time allocation between work and relationships. These situations often trigger jealousy responses similar to those in romantic relationships but may be handled more rationally. For each situation across your timeline, you rate the intensity of your jealousy on a scale of 1-10 and analyze your behavioral responses. Did you withdraw into silence? Become verbally or physically aggressive? Communicate your feelings directly? Did you seek support from others or attempt to handle it alone? The exercise asks you to identify which responses improved the situation and which escalated tensions or created additional problems. This reflection often reveals surprising patterns and inconsistencies in how we handle jealousy across different contexts. Many people discover they possess sophisticated coping mechanisms in certain situations but abandon these skills entirely in romantic contexts. For example, someone might excel at managing professional jealousy through objective self-assessment and open dialogue but become overwhelmed with emotional reactions when facing similar triggers in romantic relationships. The exercise emphasizes practical application by identifying transferable strategies from other life contexts. If setting clear boundaries works well in friendships, this approach might be adapted for romantic relationships. If reframing and perspective-taking helped manage academic competition, these cognitive techniques could be valuable tools for handling romantic jealousy. This comprehensive analysis builds self-awareness by connecting current challenges to your broader emotional history and proven coping strategies. Rather than viewing romantic jealousy as an unprecedented emotional challenge, you can recognize it as a variation of feelings you've successfully navigated before - providing confidence and concrete tools for managing these complex emotions more effectively in your romantic life.

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5장

Identifying Your Jealousy Triggers: The Power of Visualization

Understanding your specific jealousy triggers is essential for developing targeted management strategies. These triggers vary significantly between individuals - what devastates one person might not affect another at all. While some people experience intense jealousy at the thought of their partner being physically intimate with others, others find emotional connections more threatening. Labriola's guided imagery exercise helps pinpoint exactly what aspects of your partner's outside relationships activate your jealousy response. The visualization process involves a detailed mental journey through various scenarios. You imagine your partner developing a relationship with someone else, progressing through distinct stages: the initial meeting, casual flirting, deepening emotional connection, physical intimacy, and the aftermath. During this exercise, you're encouraged to pause whenever uncomfortable feelings arise, examining not just the discomfort itself but its precise nature and intensity. Most participants discover that their jealousy isn't a constant presence throughout the scenario but peaks at specific moments. For example, Kim discovered she only minded her partner using their bed with others - a boundary that was easy to establish once identified. Mark realized oral sex felt too intimate to share, while physical intercourse didn't trigger his jealousy. Jessica found emotional intimacy more threatening than physical connection, particularly when imagining her partner sharing childhood stories she thought were special to their relationship. These detailed discoveries lead to practical, nuanced solutions. Instead of implementing broad, restrictive rules like "no relationships with others," you can create targeted boundaries addressing your specific triggers: "no using our shared spaces," "no sharing certain intimate acts," or "maintaining certain experiences as exclusive to our relationship." This targeted approach allows for more freedom while protecting emotional security. The visualization exercise often reveals surprising insights about the true nature of our jealousy. Sarah initially thought she was jealous about physical intimacy but discovered during visualization that her real trigger was the fear of being replaced in daily routines - like morning coffee conversations or weekend errands. Thomas realized his jealousy stemmed not from his partner's sexual connections but from the possibility of them creating new holiday traditions with others. By identifying these precise triggers, you gain greater control over your emotional responses and can develop more effective coping strategies. You might establish agreements with your partner to maintain certain activities as exclusive to your relationship, create new rituals that reinforce your primary connection, or focus on building security around specific trigger points. Some couples find success in regular check-ins about these triggers, allowing for adjustment of boundaries as comfort levels evolve. The exercise also helps distinguish between rational concerns requiring attention and irrational fears based on past experiences or insecurities. This clarity enables more productive conversations with partners and more effective personal growth work. Many find that their triggers become less intense once they're clearly identified and openly discussed.

6장

The Jealousy Filter: Separating Rational from Irrational Fears

Not all jealousy is created equal. Some jealousy responds to genuine relationship threats, while other jealous feelings stem from insecurities or past traumas unrelated to current reality. Labriola introduces the "Jealousy Filter" - a detective-like approach to determine whether your jealousy is rationally founded. This systematic evaluation helps transform overwhelming emotions into manageable insights. For jealousy to be rationally based, four prerequisites must be true: 1. You must have access to a valuable resource you fear losing (like an intimate relationship, emotional connection, or shared future) 2. Another person must want that same resource (showing clear interest or intention) 3. You must believe you're in direct competition with insufficient resources for both parties 4. You must believe you'll lose this competition based on concrete evidence By testing your jealousy against these criteria, you transform vague emotional distress into concrete assessment. Consider these real-world scenarios: Scenario 1: At a party, your partner flirts with someone, triggering jealousy. Applying the filter reveals this fails criterion #3 - casual flirtation doesn't mean competition for your relationship. While the emotional response is valid, the situation lacks evidence of genuine resource scarcity or competition. Scenario 2: Your partner starts working late with an attractive colleague, sharing intimate conversations and inside jokes, while becoming emotionally distant at home. This situation meets all four criteria: you have a valuable relationship, the colleague shows interest, time and emotional energy are finite resources, and your partner's behavior suggests possible relationship erosion. Scenario 3: Your partner maintains a close friendship with their ex. This common trigger requires careful filtering - does the ex want to reconnect romantically? Is there evidence of competing for your partner's affection? Often, this scenario fails criterion #2 or #3, revealing the jealousy as primarily fear-based rather than threat-based. The filter helps determine appropriate responses: • When jealousy passes all four criteria: Address the situation directly through open communication, boundary setting, and relationship agreements • When jealousy fails one or more criteria: Focus on self-reflection, emotional regulation, and addressing underlying insecurities Remember that the filter doesn't invalidate feelings - even irrational jealousy causes real pain and deserves acknowledgment. However, understanding the source helps direct energy effectively: • Rational jealousy requires external solutions through relationship work • Irrational jealousy needs internal solutions through personal growth • Mixed cases might need both approaches The filter also reveals patterns over time. Recurring jealousy that consistently fails the rational test might indicate unresolved trauma or attachment issues requiring professional support. Meanwhile, frequently triggered rational jealousy might signal fundamental relationship incompatibilities that need addressing.

들리는 모든 단어를 눈으로 확인하세요

질투 워크북의 각 단어가 오디오에 맞춰 실시간으로 강조되어 편하게 따라 읽을 수 있습니다.

7장

Your Jealousy Pie Chart: Breaking Down the Complex Emotion

When experiencing jealousy, most people can't articulate what they're feeling beyond simply saying "I feel jealous!" Labriola explains that jealousy isn't a single emotion but a complex bundle of feelings, thoughts, sensations, memories, and experiences. Understanding the specific components of your personal jealousy experience is key to managing it effectively. The first exercise has you rate 33 potential jealousy symptoms on a scale of 0-10, including emotional responses (anger, fear, betrayal), physical sensations (heart palpitations, stomach issues), cognitive patterns (obsessive thoughts, revenge fantasies), and behavioral responses. This comprehensive inventory reveals which aspects of jealousy affect you most intensely. Next, you create a pie chart representing the three primary emotional components of jealousy: fear, anger, and sadness. By determining what percentage each emotion occupies in your experience-for instance, 50% fear, 35% anger, and 15% sadness-you gain clarity about your dominant emotional response. This understanding is crucial because each component requires different management strategies. Fear-based jealousy responds well to reassurance and security-building. Anger-dominant jealousy needs healthy expression and conflict resolution. Sadness-centered jealousy benefits from comfort and connection. The exercise notes that men tend toward angry responses while women more commonly experience fear or sadness during jealousy episodes. These patterns often reflect cultural conditioning rather than inherent gender differences. Your jealousy pie chart also reveals how past experiences intensify current reactions. Childhood experiences (parental abandonment, sibling rivalry) or previous relationship betrayals may be triggering responses disproportionate to your current situation. Recognizing these connections helps separate historical wounds from present circumstances. By breaking down the amorphous experience of jealousy into specific components, you transform an overwhelming emotion into manageable parts. Rather than feeling helpless against a tidal wave of jealousy, you can address each element with targeted strategies-calming physical symptoms, challenging irrational thoughts, and processing the specific emotions at play.

8장

The Engineering Model vs. The Phobia Model: Two Approaches to Managing Jealousy

Labriola presents two fundamental approaches to managing jealousy: the engineering model and the phobia model. The engineering model identifies specific jealousy triggers and creates agreements to avoid those situations. The phobia model gradually exposes you to jealousy triggers to desensitize your emotional reactions through repeated experience. The engineering model works well for people who need predictability and structure. It involves creating clear boundaries and agreements about outside relationships-perhaps limiting overnight dates, establishing veto power over certain partners, or restricting specific activities. This approach provides safety and control, especially when first opening a relationship. Brent and John's twenty-year relationship illustrates the phobia model's effectiveness. When they opened their relationship, Brent initially experienced intense jealousy. They began with "mild" triggers like John visiting bathhouses, gradually progressing to more challenging situations as Brent's comfort increased. Over time, Brent's jealousy diminished through this systematic desensitization. Similarly, Susan became comfortable with her husband Bill spending nights with Rachel through incremental exposure. They started with dinner dates, progressed to evening activities, then eventually overnight stays-each step taken only after Susan felt secure with the previous level. Most people use both approaches but favor one depending on the situation. While both models work well for managing relationship logistics and behaviors, the phobia model proves more effective for handling emotional issues like a partner falling in love with someone else. When agreements about keeping relationships casual are challenged by deepening feelings, couples face difficult choices: either end the developing relationship to honor the original agreement, or gradually expand boundaries using the phobia model. Both paths present challenges-ending a valued relationship may cause grief and resentment, while allowing it to evolve may trigger feelings of betrayal. Success with either approach requires balanced power in creating agreements, with both partners having equal input. It also demands honest assessment of how much structure you need and how much you trust both your partner's judgment and your own in navigating complex emotional situations.

질투 워크북에서 더 많은 것을 얻으세요

매일 새로운 인사이트를 10만 개 이상의 레슨에서 만나보세요
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9장

The Three Circles of Poly Hell: Navigating Common Jealousy Triggers

Many people in primary relationships who explore non-monogamy encounter what Labriola calls "Poly Hell"-situations where things feel out of control and their primary relationship seems threatened. The three most common problems are demotion, displacement, and intrusion. Demotion occurs when a primary partner who previously had exclusive romantic access suddenly feels demoted to being one of multiple partners. This transition is shocking and painful for most people experiencing it for the first time, as we have no cultural training for sharing our lover's romantic attention. While demotion doesn't necessarily mean less love, it does mean the primary partner no longer has a monopoly on romantic energy. Displacement focuses on the practical loss of time and attention rather than status change. It occurs when a partner feels their relationship is being crowded out by the outside relationship, leaving them feeling abandoned and disrespected. While some displacement is inevitable as new relationships require time and energy, strategies like providing quality time to the primary partner, giving affectionate gestures, maintaining transparency, and considering joint activities can minimize these feelings. Intrusion happens when an outside relationship invades the time and space of the primary relationship, making the primary partner feel unsafe. This occurs when someone maintains contact with their other partner during quality time with their primary partner, especially during the intense infatuation phase of a new relationship. The primary partner often feels abandoned as their needs go unmet, which can ultimately destroy the relationship if the neglect continues too long. To manage intrusion, couples can establish clear boundaries about communication with other partners during shared time. Some people use compartmentalization-mentally separating a partner's other relationships to remain emotionally present. This serves as a survival strategy, allowing deeper connection during time spent together. Some demotion, displacement, and intrusion are inevitable in any open relationship. Negotiation is essential to balance freedom for the partner with outside relationships while creating safety for the partner at home. With time and practice, most people become more resilient and secure as their partner learns to avoid triggering their vulnerabilities.

10장

Compersion: Finding Joy in Your Partner's Happiness with Others

Compersion-feeling positive emotions when your partner enjoys romantic or sexual relationships with others-seems impossible to many people struggling with jealousy's intense pain. Most initially find this concept absurd, as jealousy typically overwhelms any possibility of feeling happy about a partner's outside relationships. Labriola explains that feeling deprived and experiencing scarcity are natural reactions that prevent compersion. Many describe feeling like their partner is taking limited resources (love, attention) from them to give to someone else. To experience compersion, one must first feel they're receiving "enough" love and attention in their relationship. The journey from jealousy to compersion begins with addressing the physical and emotional constriction jealousy creates. Physical tension manifests in clenched jaws, tight shoulders, and shallow breathing. Mental constriction appears as rigid thinking, obsessive thoughts, and pessimism. By recognizing these patterns and practicing relaxation techniques, you can "retrain" your body and mind to avoid these constricting responses. Anthropological research offers valuable insights into how different cultures manage jealousy and experience compersion. In some rural African polygamous societies, co-wives focus primarily on work, children, and community rather than on their husband. These women rarely report feelings of exclusion because they experience belonging through extended families and communal activities. This research suggests that being less dependent on a primary relationship fosters compersion-when our romantic partnership isn't our only source of love, identity, and belonging, we're more likely to feel secure enough to support our partner's other relationships. The exercise "Identify Your Relationship's Scarcity and Abundance Quotients" helps assess how well your needs are being met. Having at least 3-4 areas where highly important needs are well-satisfied creates the foundation for experiencing compersion, as your "love batteries" are fully charged. Conversely, if you lack well-matched resources, you're living in chronic scarcity and unlikely to experience compersion. Jealousy and compersion often coexist rather than being opposites. Most people experience a confusing mixture of painful emotions occasionally blended with positive feelings. These seemingly contradictory emotions are normal-wanting your partner's happiness while feeling threatened by their other relationships. The key is accepting these complex emotions without judgment rather than "shoulding" on yourself about how you "should" feel.

★★★★★

질투 워크북 완독을 축하합니다

100만 명 이상의 학습자가 사랑합니다

“23일째 매일 사용하고 있어요. 이제 제 일상의 한 부분이 되었습니다.”

jayallen

질투 워크북의 핵심 주제

ethical non-monogamy
relationship orientation
polyamory management
emotional triggers
compersion development

질투 워크북의 명언

For most of us, this scenario triggers immediate panic.
Neither monogamy nor polyamory is inherently superior.
Jealousy isn't unique to romantic relationships.
This process reveals what you stand to gain and lose by opening your relationship.

저자 소개

캐시 라브리올라(Kathy Labriola)는 『질투 워크북(The Jealousy Workbook)』의 저자이자 폴리아모리, 개방형 관계, 그리고 질투 관리 분야의 선도적인 전문가입니다. 캘리포니아 버클리에서 활동하는 상담사, 간호사, 최면치료사인 그녀는 30년 이상 대안 공동체에 저렴한 정신 건강 서비스를 제공해 왔습니다.

그녀의 작업은 임상 경험과 실전 전문성—그녀 자신도 50년 넘게 폴리아모리 관계를 유지해 왔습니다—에 뿌리를 둔 실질적이고 증거 기반의 전략을 통해 사람들이 비독점적 관계를 헤쳐 나갈 수 있도록 돕는 데 중점을 둡니다.

라브리올라는 합의된 비독점적 관계에 관한 네 권의 영향력 있는 저서를 집필했습니다. 여기에는 『풍요로운 사랑: 개방형 관계에 대한 상담사의 조언(Love in Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships)』, 『폴리아모리 이별 안내서(The Polyamory Break-up Book)』, 그리고 『폴리아모리 노년층: 개방형 관계에서의 노화(Polyamorous Elders: Aging in Open Relationships)』가 포함됩니다.

그녀는 멀티아모리(Multiamory)와 러빙 위드아웃 바운더리스(Loving Without Boundaries)를 포함한 유명 관계 팟캐스트에 출연해 왔으며, 그녀의 무료 팸플릿인 "초록 눈의 괴물 가면 벗기기: 개방형 관계에서의 질투 관리(Unmasking the Green-eyed Monster: Managing Jealousy in Open Relationships)"는 수천 명의 독자에게 전달되었습니다. 그녀는 버클리에서 두 남편과 함께 살고 있으며, 소외된 공동체가 관계 상담을 쉽게 접할 수 있도록 돕는 사명을 계속 이어가고 있습니다.

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From Jealousy to Self-Love: Rewiring Your Brain

The Ultimate Retroactive Jealousy Cure

Jeff Billings

Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory

Dedeker Winston

Polysecure

Jessica Fern

Love More, Fight Less

Gina Senarighi

The dance of anger

Harriet Lerner

Stop Controlling, Start Attracting: Jealousy to Confidence 책 표지

26 sources

Stop Controlling, Start Attracting: Jealousy to Confidence

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5 h 27 m•4 에피소드

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5 h 28 m•4 에피소드

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Erotic Intelligence in Plural Love

This learning plan is essential for individuals and partners navigating the complexities of non-monogamy who seek emotional security beyond traditional norms. It is designed for those wanting to bridge the gap between theoretical desire and the practical, psychological stability required for thriving plural connections.

1 h 12 m•3 섹션

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Embrace healthy love & singlehood contentment

This learning plan is essential for anyone struggling with relationship anxiety, repeated patterns in dating, or feeling incomplete without a partner. It's particularly valuable for those healing from past relationships, entering the dating world after a break, or simply wanting to build healthier connection skills. By combining attachment theory, boundary-setting, and self-worth development, you'll gain the tools to create fulfilling relationships while feeling genuinely content on your own.

5 h 56 m•4 섹션

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Reclaiming Yourself in the Affair

This plan is designed for those feeling lost in the complexity of being the 'other woman' and seeking to regain their autonomy. It provides the psychological tools necessary to break emotional cycles and shift from a state of waiting to a future of self-respect and availability.

2 h 30 m•4 섹션

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The Assertive Boundary Playbook

This playbook is essential for professionals who struggle with people-pleasing or feel drained by constant demands. It provides a practical framework for anyone looking to reclaim their time and mental energy by mastering the art of firm, respectful confrontation.

30 m•3 섹션

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Break the Cycle of Unavailable Love

This plan is essential for anyone who feels stuck in a loop of chasing emotionally distant partners and mistaking instability for passion. It provides a roadmap for healing childhood wounds and shifting from anxious attachment toward secure, fulfilling relationships.

1 h 36 m•4 섹션

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Breaking the Anxious-Avoidant Fawn Loop

This plan is essential for individuals caught in reactive relationship cycles who struggle with people-pleasing and emotional volatility. It provides practical tools for those looking to reclaim their autonomy and build resilience against conflict-induced anxiety.

1 h 30 m•3 섹션

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Overcome neediness

This learning plan is essential for anyone who finds themselves constantly seeking approval, struggling with codependency, or feeling incomplete without a relationship. It's particularly valuable for individuals who recognize patterns of people-pleasing, difficulty being alone, or anxiety about rejection, and who want to build healthier relationships by first developing a secure relationship with themselves.

4 h 36 m•4 섹션

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From Over-Giving to Empowered Dating

This plan is essential for chronic over-givers who find themselves stuck in one-sided or inconsistent relationships. It provides the psychological tools and practical boundaries needed to transition from seeking external validation to building empowered, healthy connections.

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샌프란시스코에서 컬럼비아 대학교 동문들이 만들었습니다

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샌프란시스코에서 컬럼비아 대학교 동문들이 만들었습니다

LOVED BY

1,000,000+ curious minds.

4.7

avg rating

1M+ learners

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

웹에서 BeFreed가 어떻게 논의되고 있는지 더 보기

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2장

질투 워크북

개요질투 워크북 개요

한 권의 책, 다양한 듣기 방식.

When Jealousy Strikes: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Open Relationships

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들리는 모든 단어를 눈으로 확인하세요

The Cost-Benefit Analysis: What You Gain and Lose in Open Relationships

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The Jealousy Filter: Separating Rational from Irrational Fears

들리는 모든 단어를 눈으로 확인하세요

Your Jealousy Pie Chart: Breaking Down the Complex Emotion

The Engineering Model vs. The Phobia Model: Two Approaches to Managing Jealousy

질투 워크북에서 더 많은 것을 얻으세요

The Three Circles of Poly Hell: Navigating Common Jealousy Triggers

Compersion: Finding Joy in Your Partner's Happiness with Others

질투 워크북 완독을 축하합니다

질투 워크북의 핵심 주제

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이 책에 대한 FAQ

What is The Jealousy Workbook by Kathy Labriola about?

Who is Kathy Labriola and what makes her qualified to write about jealousy?

Who should read The Jealousy Workbook?

Is The Jealousy Workbook by Kathy Labriola worth reading?

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ser poliamata

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1,000,000+ curious minds.

1,000,000+ curious minds.

한 권의 책, 다양한 듣기 방식.

When Jealousy Strikes: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Open Relationships

Understanding Your Relationship Orientation: Are You Wired for Monogamy or Polyamory?

들리는 모든 단어를 눈으로 확인하세요

The Cost-Benefit Analysis: What You Gain and Lose in Open Relationships

Jealousy Through the Life Span: Learning from Past Experiences

질투 워크북에서 더 많은 것을 얻으세요

Identifying Your Jealousy Triggers: The Power of Visualization

The Jealousy Filter: Separating Rational from Irrational Fears

들리는 모든 단어를 눈으로 확인하세요

Your Jealousy Pie Chart: Breaking Down the Complex Emotion

The Engineering Model vs. The Phobia Model: Two Approaches to Managing Jealousy

질투 워크북에서 더 많은 것을 얻으세요

The Three Circles of Poly Hell: Navigating Common Jealousy Triggers

Compersion: Finding Joy in Your Partner's Happiness with Others

질투 워크북 완독을 축하합니다

다른 사용자들도 좋아한 책

이 학습 계획의 일부

ser poliamata

Bisexual

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