1장
Designing Your Life Through Action: The Stanford Professor's Guide
Ever found yourself stuck in the cycle of wishing instead of doing? You're not alone. For over fifty years, Bernard Roth has been teaching Stanford students and professionals worldwide how to break free from this pattern. As the academic director of Stanford's d.school and a pioneer in robotics, Roth has distilled decades of teaching experience into a powerful framework that has transformed thousands of lives. His approach has caught the attention of Silicon Valley's elite and global business leaders who recognize that achievement isn't just about talent-it's about developing specific habits of mind. What makes this book particularly compelling is how it applies design thinking principles not just to external problems but to our internal lives, offering practical tools to redesign ourselves from the inside out. The Achievement Habit isn't just another self-help book; it's a masterclass in human potential from one of academia's most beloved professors.
2장
The Power of Meaning-Making: How We Create Our Reality
Nothing inherently has meaning-we assign meaning to everything in our lives. This simple yet profound insight forms the foundation of achievement. When my student Mike embarrassingly failed at creating a musical instrument in class, I mentally categorized him as lacking talent. Years later, I encountered him at Burning Man where he had created an extraordinary 168-foot metallic serpent sculpture with flamethrowers-the festival's most impressive installation. I had wrongly defined him based on a single impression, not realizing people constantly evolve.
This principle extends to our most cherished relationships. In a classroom exercise where participants state various things "have no meaning," many struggle with applying this to loved ones. When my colleague Sheri hesitated to say her daughter had no meaning, it highlighted that even our deepest connections aren't predetermined-mothers can cherish, abandon, or even harm their daughters. The meaning we give to relationships is our choice, and we can change these meanings when needed.
Our perceptions of failure follow the same pattern. As a fourth-grader, I was devastated when told my misbehavior would go on my "permanent record card." Similarly, in graduate school, failing a physics course seemed catastrophic. Eventually, I realized these "failures" had no lasting impact-there is no permanent record except the one we maintain ourselves.
Even betrayal can be reframed. During a Cold War workshop in Bulgaria, colleagues secretly copied my videotape of student robotics projects. My initial fury dissolved when I realized "this tape has no meaning"-there was nothing valuable on it. I had assigned meaning that wasn't there. While I couldn't control their actions, I could determine my own experience.
True achievement isn't about collecting accolades. I have drawers of awards that ultimately mean nothing. Real achievement means having a good life, finding engaging work, developing self-mastery, and nurturing the life force within ourselves and others. Many wealthy people remain miserable despite success, while some struggling artists find fulfillment.
To develop fresh perspectives, we must see beyond our usual labels. A box of Cheerios isn't just breakfast cereal-it can be cardboard, wax paper, biomass, or structural material. Similarly, you aren't a failure because your project failed, nor a loser because you lost your job. By removing or changing labels, we open ourselves to new possibilities-many successful people never completed traditional education but found their own fulfilling paths.
3장
Beyond Excuses: Why Reasons Hold Us Back
Reasons are often just excuses dressed up to appear reasonable. They help us avoid responsibility while maintaining a positive self-image. For years, I was chronically late to board meetings, always blaming highway traffic-until I realized the real issue was my failure to prioritize the meeting. Once I acknowledged this truth and stopped making excuses, I transformed not just my punctuality but my entire relationship with time.
At Stanford's Design Group, anyone who starts giving reasons at meetings is met with a sarcastic chorus of "That's a goooood reason," highlighting that external factors aren't truly responsible for our choices. Even heart-wrenching reasons, like my son with cerebral palsy saying "I can't help it, I was born that way," are still just good reasons that may not serve our best interests.
Studies show people selectively record what happens around them, making it impossible to truly know the reason for anyone's behavior-including our own. Sometimes we're actively dishonest about our motivations, as with a Japanese professor who claimed work prevented family time while actually choosing to socialize with colleagues. The pragmatic approach is simple: if you like what happens, continue; if not, do things differently.
We often reveal our true intentions by denying accusations nobody made. When my colleague claimed "The last thing I would want to do is undermine the existing conference" while launching a competing one, his denial revealed his actual motivation. To keep yourself honest, try mentally reversing stated motives. If you claim "I'm telling Kathy what her coworker said for her benefit," test whether "I'm telling her for my benefit" might be more accurate.
Decision-making often involves agonizing over options while searching for "good reasons." For important decisions causing prolonged agony, I use two techniques with students: the "gun test" (forcing immediate decisions) and the "life's journey method" (tracing potential paths to their conclusion). This reveals most paths lead to the same place-death. The design thinking principle applies best: maintain a bias toward action and don't fear failure.
We all have the same twenty-four hours daily, yet some accomplish far more than others. The difference isn't extra time but making time through intention and attention. When something is truly a priority, you must be willing to sacrifice whatever stands in its way. Track your activities honestly for a few days to identify time-wasters. Modern life offers endless distractions-don't fall into these sinkholes.
4장
Breaking Through Mental Barriers: Getting Unstuck
When facing obstacles, we often feel surrounded and unable to move forward, like a drunk man repeatedly colliding with a lamppost. In my design course, a student named Krishna struggled with his assignment to fix something that bothered him-his broken bed that prevented good sleep. For weeks he reported failures: couldn't find the right wire, tools, or springs. After threatening him with failure, he solved the problem by buying a new bed. His mistake was working on the wrong question: "How can I fix the bed?" instead of "How do I get a good night's sleep?"
When you can't solve a problem despite repeated attempts, you're likely asking the wrong question. Reframing the problem opens new solution possibilities. By asking "What would it do for me if I solved this problem?" you can convert the answer into a new, more generative question that expands your solution space. For example, "How might I find a spouse?" can be reframed as "How might I find companionship?" which offers many more possible solutions.
At Stanford's d.school, this approach has led to spectacular results. Students working on irrigation in Myanmar noticed farmers using toxic, expensive kerosene lighting and reframed their focus to create d.light, affordable solar lighting that's now sold millions of units worldwide. Another team, sent to improve hospital incubators in Nepal, realized the real need was keeping premature babies warm in remote areas, creating the Embrace infant warmer that costs just 1% of an incubator.
Sometimes explaining why you can't solve a problem leads to breakthrough insights. While preparing for a Yale presentation, I nervously rehearsed explaining why I couldn't solve a general case in my research. In that very process of articulating the limitations, I suddenly realized how to solve it-creating one of my greatest "Aha!" moments. This experience taught two lessons: first, putting aside a problem temporarily allows your subconscious to work on it; second, explaining exactly why you can't solve something often reveals that your reasons aren't valid.
We often settle for the first decent solution that comes to mind, denying ourselves better possibilities. Like finding a dollar bill in your pocket and stopping your search before discovering the twenty-dollar bill or credit card, premature closure prevents us from discovering more elegant, practical or inexpensive solutions. The ideal mindset welcomes each new solution with joy while continuing to search until time, resources, or perfect-fit constraints end the process.
5장
The Power of Connection: Building Meaningful Relationships
When pursuing life achievements, rarely can we succeed entirely alone. We need assistance from others, making who we know as important as what we know-not cynically, but through mutual support in figuring things out. We can gain wisdom from colleagues, like Tom who taught that rushing creates messes that take longer to fix than doing things right initially. Henry demonstrated the value of concise communication and practical advice about taking opportunities when available.
During our d.school Summer College workshop, students were impressed by the faculty's collegiality-a refreshing change from the backbiting they experienced elsewhere. When you bad-mouth colleagues, you make yourself smaller, not larger. Praising colleagues elevates you by association, while criticizing them diminishes your own standing. Success doesn't require diminishing others; complimenting rivals shows class.
Rather than formal mentoring, I prefer "mini-mentorships"-seeking advice from multiple people with relevant experience. While writing this book, I consulted everyone I knew who had published. Don't hesitate to ask for assistance if you're willing to help others in return. People may surprise you-expected allies might withhold advice fearing competition, while unexpected sources provide tremendous help.
Steve Jobs frequently quoted "good artists copy; great artists steal," attributing it to Picasso though no evidence exists he said it. T.S. Eliot wrote in 1920 that "Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal; bad poets deface what they take, and good poets make it into something better, or at least something different." Society depends on building on others' ideas, so don't be too concerned about "stealing"-just don't take credit for someone else's work without improving it.
Networking as commonly taught-handing out business cards at events and promoting yourself-is smarmy and manipulative. Don't network; build genuine friendships instead. Never pretend to have relationships that don't exist or use someone's name without permission. Life isn't about using others to climb to the top. Many people separate business and personal lives, which is a waste-David Kelley has worked with the same friends for over forty years.
6장
From Trying to Doing: The Achievement Switch
There's a fundamental difference between trying to do something and actually doing it. Trying may or may not lead to success-you might get lucky, get tired, or get distracted. Doing requires intention and attention-a commitment to complete the task regardless of barriers. I demonstrate this to students by asking them to first try to take an object from me, then to actually take it. One Korean workshop participant immediately seized my glasses and threatened to break them unless I gave her the object-a creative if extreme approach!
When I started teaching design thinking, I wanted students to tackle real problems in their own lives rather than waiting until after graduation. Too many people, like engineers I knew in Silicon Valley, would talk about starting companies but never act. This pattern reminded me of O'Neill's play The Iceman Cometh, where characters eternally discuss leaving but never do. I created a simple directive for class projects: "Do something you've really wanted to do and have never done, or solve a problem in your life." These projects introduced the achievement habit, showing students they didn't need permission to take command of their lives.
As Hugh Laurie wisely observed, "It's a terrible thing to wait until you're ready... There's almost no such thing as ready. There's only now." Stop waiting and start doing-it's the surest path to a more interesting and fulfilling life.
When a friend in her thirties told me she wanted to learn to ride a bike to keep up with her daughter, we approached it through design thinking. First, I identified her true problem: not learning to ride a bike, but keeping pace with her bike-riding daughter. After discussing her balance difficulties, we explored solutions beyond the obvious "learn to ride" approach. The breakthrough came when I suggested adult three-wheelers-an instant solution that bypassed her balance issues entirely.
Failure is actually a gift that enables future success. Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first TV anchor job, Dr. Seuss faced dozens of rejections, and Thomas Edison famously found "ten thousand ways that won't work" before inventing the light bulb. At the d.school, we embrace a bias toward action: doing something and failing is better than doing nothing while waiting for the perfect path. Failure becomes your teacher if you're mindful about what happened.
7장
The Language of Achievement: How Words Shape Reality
The way we communicate significantly affects how others perceive us. It's not just what we say but how we say it that matters. Better communication can heal relationships, create job opportunities, and help us reach wider audiences. Language influences how we see things, and our word choices affect our own perceptions and behaviors.
We often substitute "but" for "and" when connecting thoughts, which can transform neutral statements into negative ones. For example, "I want to go to the movies, but I have work to do" creates an artificial conflict. Existentially, both statements are true and not in opposition, making "and" more accurate. Using "but" closes conversation space and often introduces bullshit reasoning, while "and" opens possibilities.
We often say "I have to" when "I want to" better reflects reality. In a simple exercise with a partner, one person says "I have to" statements while the other repeats them with "You want to" substituted. This works for almost anything, revealing how much choice and desire influence decisions we think are imposed on us. Even "I have to breathe" becomes "I want to breathe"-because you choose to stay alive.
Replacing "can't" with "won't" is empowering. While "can't" suggests helplessness, "won't" indicates choice and volition. Similar transformative substitutions include changing "I need" to "I want" and "I'm afraid to" to "I'd like to." These simple word changes add power to how you perceive yourself and your actions.
Avoid "why" questions in interpersonal communications. Asking someone why they did something carries a negative, accusatory tone that puts them on the defensive. Instead, use clear "I" statements to express your position. Rather than asking "Why did you choose Jane as coleader?" say "I felt hurt that you didn't choose me."
The context of your words dramatically influences how they're meant and received. Misunderstandings often occur when people operate in different contexts while using the same words. I once witnessed my wife telling me she was "glad to get out" of a party, which our host overheard and misinterpreted-she meant her uncomfortable shoes, not the gathering itself.
8장
Collaborative Achievement: The Power of Groups
Groups provide an important way for us to express our humanity, whether through family, friends, professional connections, or other affiliations. How we interact within these groups significantly impacts our experience and can either enrich or damage our lives.
At Stanford's d.school, team-teaching requires all instructors to be present and participating in every class, unlike the typical "relay race" approach used elsewhere. This creates a richer student experience by exposing them to multiple viewpoints simultaneously. An illustrative example involved my colleague Bill, a world-class designer who called after our first class to request my PowerPoint slides in advance-not to review content but to "fix my fonts." This friendly critique highlighted our different sensibilities: as an engineer, I focused on content; as a designer, Bill was viscerally affected by poor aesthetics.
I've adopted a system for giving feedback called "I like/I wish" that I learned from George M. Prince. The approach involves offering two positive observations ("I like") followed by a constructive suggestion ("I wish"). For example: "I like the way you considered safety, and I like the design's appearance. I wish we could find a way to make it smaller." Notice there's no "but" between the likes and wishes, and the wish statement invites collaborative problem-solving rather than blocking progress.
Different cultural backgrounds and personality types significantly impact how people engage in groups. After a reader expressed fear about the interactive exercises in this book, I recalled my worst teaching error-publicly humiliating a shy Chinese student who never returned to class. Many international students come from cultures where students are passive receivers of knowledge and view faculty as unapproachable, making Silicon Valley's interactive culture particularly challenging.
Physical position profoundly affects group dynamics. My favorite teaching arrangement is a tight, perfectly round circle that places everyone on equal footing without hierarchy. This supports radical collaboration by eliminating "good" or "bad" seats and encouraging eye contact. The circle's diameter tangibly affects group feeling-if someone sits back from the circumference, they become emotionally as well as physically excluded.
For forty-three years, I had a traditional private office at Stanford filled with books, papers, and mementos. Then I got involved with the d.school, which uses open bullpen arrangements without private offices. Surprisingly, I found myself spending more time in the d.school's communal space and less in my private office. The d.school's open floor plan dramatically improves information flow, communication, and group relations.
9장
Shaping Your Self-Image for Achievement
Our self-image-our mental pictures of our bodies, emotions, actions, and thoughts-defines who we are to ourselves, whether accurately or not. This image colors everything we do and how we respond to the world. It can constrain us, be used to manipulate us or others, and may be positive or negative.
Our early family environment profoundly shapes us, whether we become similar to our family members or deliberately different. My son's response at age five when asked about medication preference-"Whichever is cheaper"-revealed how he had already absorbed our family's attitude toward money, a mindset he maintains fifty years later. Though my wife and I believe we differ greatly from our parents, we both carry their traits-denying the ones we dislike while readily accepting the positive ones.
Professors aren't trained to teach but to research and mimic their own teachers. Many never find their authentic teaching voice, remaining forever influenced by their mentors. This pattern extends beyond academia-we often become second-rate replicas of our influences rather than authentic versions of ourselves. The key is recognizing our unique persona and history, then creating a synthesis that honors our influences while expressing our true being.
To change your self-image, start by identifying an issue you're genuinely willing to release. This requires honesty, as we often cling to our problems as part of our identity. True mindfulness-seeing without judging-is essential to this process. It means pausing to breathe, connecting with your inner experience, and observing dispassionately what's happening around and within you.
Death provides unique wisdom if we pay attention. My colleague Rolf Faste chose a remarkable path after his stomach cancer diagnosis. Rather than following traditional treatment, he noticed visits to his doctor left him feeling bad while his Zen master left him feeling good. He resolved to treat his body as sacred, refusing chemotherapy and radiation, instead spending his final time meditating and having positive conversations with loved ones.
10장
Embracing Life's Uncertainty: The Achievement Journey
Life is inherently complex and uncertain, with unpredictable duration and inevitable periods of crisis. While having general life goals is valuable, rigidity about your path is counterproductive. Staying open to possibility and new opportunities serves us better than rigid planning.
My life has followed an unpredictable path of detours and surprising turns rather than planned, rational steps. This makes giving career advice to students challenging-I offer rational projections while knowing their lives will likely deviate from any planned path. My own journey to Stanford illustrates this perfectly: from a lazy high school student in the Bronx who nearly flunked out of college, to teaching at Stanford for over fifty years due to a series of coincidences, including a misdirected conference invitation that went to the wrong Professor Arnold.
Some people rarely face agonizing decisions; their lives flow naturally with major transitions only recognized as significant in retrospect. I'm one of those fortunate people. Looking back at my career's many crossroads, I see how responding to certain opportunities completely shaped my path. Several life-changing moments came through unexpected phone calls, including one from Stanford's legendary provost Fredrick Terman connecting me with John McCarthy to provide engineering expertise for the Stanford Artificial Intelligence Laboratory.
Following a path different from family or societal expectations can be challenging. I knew a friend from the Bronx whose parents pressured him about neglecting schoolwork while he spent time fixing cars. After testing revealed his aptitude for hands-on work, he eventually opened a successful printing business in a small town. My wife Ruth's parents insisted she study "marketable" skills like secretarial work instead of pursuing her natural creative talents, leading to years of professional misdirection.
As Lewis Wirth noted, "The most important things we can know about a man are the things he takes for granted." These background assumptions form our self-image and give meaning to our lives. By making them explicit, we can affirm or change them, transforming ourselves from puppets to autonomous beings.
We all inevitably screw up sometimes. What gets people into real trouble isn't the original mistake but the lies told afterward-just look at Presidents Nixon and Clinton. Lies snowball, requiring more lies to support them. When caught in a mistake, the best solution is simple: tell the truth.
Life is fundamentally a problem-solving activity that can be improved with the right tools and concepts. Though "problem" typically has negative connotations, reframing problems as opportunities to improve our lives transforms them into positive forces. Problems energize us-they consume our thoughts, keep us awake at night, and wake us early with excitement to tackle them.
Taking full responsibility means being honest with yourself. By choosing to be the "cause in the matter" of your life circumstances, you can develop the achievement habit for a more functional and satisfying life.
