
In "How to Date Men When You Hate Men," comedian Blythe Roberson hilariously navigates feminist dating paradoxes that Stephen Colbert couldn't resist endorsing. Why does her post-#MeToo "political meditation" on structural misogyny resonate with so many women who still want romance despite patriarchal pitfalls?
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Dating while feminist presents a unique contradiction: desiring men while recognizing how that desire might perpetuate your own oppression. It's like trying to kiss someone while a cement mixer dumps raccoons on you-with society at the controls. We're cocooned in expectations, beauty standards, and patriarchal narratives that we must gradually shed through reading, therapy, and self-reflection. These manifest as pressure to partner by a certain age, messaging that successful women are "intimidating," and the persistent myth that love should feel like a rom-com. Simply eliminating negativity doesn't create joy-that just achieves "being chill," a state of emotional numbness often mistaken for enlightenment. Without cultural models of joyful romance, we must create our own by staying present and essentially making it up as we go. This might mean rejecting traditional dating scripts, celebrating small moments of connection, or finding pleasure in attraction itself. The key is opting into romance because it brings genuine happiness, not because society demands it or because your Instagram feed overflows with engagement photos.
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