Capitolo 1
Silicon Valley's Glass Ceiling: One Woman's Fight for Inclusion
In 2015, a courtroom battle captivated Silicon Valley and sparked a national conversation about gender discrimination in tech. Ellen Pao, a Harvard-educated lawyer and venture capitalist, had taken on Kleiner Perkins, one of the most powerful venture capital firms in the world. Though she ultimately lost her case, the "Pao Effect" reverberated throughout the industry, inspiring others to speak up about discrimination and harassment. Oprah Winfrey called it "the trial that rocked Silicon Valley," while The New Yorker described it as a "watershed moment" for women in tech. The case became required reading in business schools across America, with professors using it to teach about workplace discrimination and power dynamics. What drove this accomplished professional to risk her career and reputation in such a public fight? And what can her journey teach us about creating more inclusive workplaces?
Capitolo 2
From Immigrant Dreams to Elite Institutions
Ellen Pao's story begins with her parents, who fled China during the Civil War in the 1940s. Both families lost considerable wealth, teaching them resilience and ambition. When President Kennedy opened immigration to scientists for the space program, Pao's parents seized the opportunity. Her father earned his PhD in mechanical and aeronautical engineering from Princeton-a focused, nonconformist nerd who loved Star Wars. Her mother was among the first women to earn a computer science PhD from UPenn-straightforward, genuine, and endlessly curious.
Growing up in mostly-white Maplewood, New Jersey, Pao and her sisters were the only Asian kids in their suburb. They faced occasional racism, but their parents taught them to assimilate and work twice as hard. The family functioned as a team, with the sisters always having each other's backs. Tragedy struck when Pao's father was diagnosed with cancer during her senior year of high school. He died just two and a half months later at age fifty-one, but not before telling her to stay in New Jersey for college to help her mother.
Following her father's wishes, Pao attended Princeton rather than Harvard. After her father's death, she developed chronic insomnia, which became an unexpected advantage in school and work. At Princeton, she threw herself into academics and extracurriculars-taking extra courses, working multiple jobs, and writing for the school newspaper. As a reporter, she uncovered that several English professors had resigned in protest after a colleague sexually assaulted a graduate student. Years later, when she sued Kleiner Perkins, their lawyers tried to use this article to paint her as a "crazy radical who had always had this issue."
The computer lab became Pao's second haven. She loved coding-building things from scratch like a chess game. Princeton's engineering department was collegial, with students helping each other during late nights in the lab. After graduating in 1991, she went to Harvard Law School, where she began questioning assumptions about meritocracy when several professors openly stated they didn't believe women or Black professors were qualified to teach there.
Capitolo 3
Early Career and Growing Awareness of Inequality
As Pao grew older, she became increasingly aware of social injustice while still believing in meritocracy and the power of speaking up. At prestigious law firm Cravath, Swaine & Moore, she found role models in women of color but also encountered troubling behaviors that created a subtly hostile culture.
These "thousand paper cuts" accumulated: male partners "losing" documents to make women lean over, brushing against women in hallways, sending a woman lawyer home for wearing pants, and asking Pao to fetch cookies during deal meetings. A Black woman colleague described being mistaken for support staff despite her impeccable suits. Male peers enjoyed exclusive outings with department heads-four-hour steak dinners, strip clubs, and Rangers hockey games-while women stayed behind doing the hardest work.
One particularly creepy senior partner would eat ice cream outside a colleague's office daily, staring at her until she started closing her door-giving her a reputation for being distant before she eventually left. None of these behaviors was technically illegal, but together they created an unwelcoming environment where women felt less valued.
The tedium of corporate law also wore Pao down. She disliked spending time arguing about procedural rules rather than solving substantive problems. No senior lawyers she met seemed happy with their careers, and the culture seemed incompatible with family life-one boss refused to let an intern visit his dying father on a holiday weekend.
In the mid-1990s, Netscape's meteoric rise to a $2.9 billion valuation just sixteen months after founding signaled the web's future. Silicon Valley buzzed with innovation-creative people excitedly discussing ideas over coffee, prioritizing new products, striving to change the world. Pao wanted to join this movement, but knew she needed business education first.
Capitolo 4
Harvard Business School and the Tech Boom
Following her sister's path, Pao applied only to Harvard Business School. She immediately loved the energetic, optimistic environment after leaving law. Her professors were accomplished leaders with practical wisdom to share-from investment fund founders to manufacturing turnaround experts. She thrived studying business problems from multiple angles and making new friends.
Yet Harvard's limitations became apparent. Despite paying lip service to diversity, women made up just 24% of Pao's class-the lowest percentage in fifteen years. Some classmates displayed shocking immaturity, like the "Dildo Episode" where students passed around a sex toy during class and responded with outrage when reprimanded.
Eventually Pao found her diverse crew of friends with fascinating backgrounds-Olympic athletes, professional baseball players, international business leaders. They worked on projects together and supported each other. Years later, she'd learn about Harvard's deeper gender problems-75% of women in her class stopped working within five years, and the school later apologized for making women feel "disrespected, left out, and unloved."
After graduation, Pao married an investment banker and moved to San Francisco to join the dot-com boom. Young, ambitious, and well-educated, she felt limitless potential as she prepared to recapture her childhood love of technology.
Capitolo 5
Navigating Silicon Valley's Startup Culture
Silicon Valley had transformed from the "Valley of Heart's Delight"-once filled with orchards and known for prune exports-into the world's tech and venture capital hub. When Pao arrived in 1998, it was populated by earnest engineers who valued nonstop work and saw limitless opportunities to revolutionize the world.
The Valley's culture thrived on constant movement and change. People built careers by frequently switching companies, either poached by competitors or chasing the next innovation. This fluidity was considered normal and even a sign of success in a culture built on restlessness and the endless push to iterate and innovate.
Pao's first job after business school was at WebTV, a startup with the then-radical idea of bringing internet to living room televisions. Though it seemed fair enough to her then, she later realized she hadn't worked with a single Latinx or Black employee during her entire time there.
Her next job was at Tellme, an early voice-recognition service similar to today's Siri or Alexa. She joined this small startup despite taking a pay and title cut, impressed that their six-person engineering team included two Black men and one Asian woman. She created a popular demo app featuring Onion comedy clips that became their standard sales presentation tool, though she was annoyed when colleagues downplayed her technical background, saying "even our business development person can do it!"
Tellme's culture was initially great, but things deteriorated when a new VP arrived who openly discriminated in hiring, seeking only "single men willing to travel" and bringing in 23 white men and just one Asian woman to interview. He even bragged about making her sit uncomfortably in a beanbag chair while wearing a short skirt.
Throughout this period, Pao's marriage remained happy despite their busy schedules. They were financially secure even after the 2000 tech bubble burst. They discussed the changing Valley culture like sports fans analyzing a favorite team, shocked by how sudden wealth transformed young founders who were given unlimited freedom and power with no guardrails.
Capitolo 6
Entering the Venture Capital World
As Pao's career progressed, she tried addressing racist and sexist jokes with humor, creating an "Asia 101" presentation that earned laughs and even praise from Ted, a partner who never complimented women's work. But her victory was short-lived-John called her by another Asian woman's name again the next day, and years later publicly joked about having "two new partners who are so diverse, I have a challenge pronouncing their names."
The tech culture celebrated inappropriate behavior. Facebook employees had sex on interactive floor displays, Zenefits' COO had to send memos asking employees to stop having sex in stairwells. The industry's "we-can-do-anything-we-want" attitude extended to mistreating groups that didn't fit the pattern.
Male partners frequently spoke over women, took credit for their ideas, and asked even senior female partners to take administrative tasks. Women were criticized for being "too opinionated" yet also chastised when they couldn't "own the room." Once a male partner deliberately passed cookies around the table while ignoring Pao and another woman, prompting her to say afterward, "It's like we don't exist. Welcome to the boys' club."
Kleiner had no Black or Latinx investors during Pao's tenure. When racist jokes occurred-like colleagues insisting she search for "turbans" during a presentation for an Indian classified ads website, or making "Jewish lightning" jokes about insurance fraud-her concerns were dismissed as imagining things. She developed coping mechanisms: a noncommittal smile, raising papers to roll her eyes in secret, or simply leaving the room.
Despite this environment, Pao found the work fascinating. Having billions to invest meant each decision could transform ideas into world-changing companies. She loved watching decisions that would make or break companies and turn founders into experienced leaders and billionaires. The technology was truly magical-allowing people to order anything with the touch of a button or broadcast to millions instantly.
But she wasn't given many opportunities. She became lonely and frustrated, working twice as hard for half as much recognition, with little time for friends. In her mid-thirties, divorced and wanting children, she saw few role models-female partners hid pregnancies or faced discouragement about having families. She began wondering if Silicon Valley would force her to hide her motherhood or prevent her from having children altogether.
Capitolo 7
Confronting Harassment and Discrimination
Pao's romantic life took a turn for the worse during a business trip to Europe. While investigating green-tech startups with her colleague Ajit, she was hit by a taxi after he darted across a street, leaving her injured with a badly damaged knee. Shockingly, while she was in shock in the back of the cab, Ajit put his arm around her and placed his hand on her uninjured leg-apparently trying to hit on her moments after her accident.
Throughout the trip, whenever they were alone without their German colleague Rolf, Ajit would complain about his wife and suggest he and Pao would be good together. Despite her loneliness and desire for a family, dating a married man with children was a nonstarter for her.
In her mid-thirties, Pao decided to have a baby on her own, only to discover she had severe endometriosis requiring immediate surgery. She informed her colleagues about her medical situation and plans, receiving surprising support. During this challenging time, she attended an Aspen Institute fellowship where she met Buddy Fletcher, a fascinating financial arbitrageur who was both successful and philanthropic. Despite their different backgrounds and his bisexuality (which didn't concern her at all), they connected deeply. He had faced significant discrimination in his career, even filing lawsuits against racial discrimination. Their relationship quickly became serious, and they married after knowing each other only three months.
After having her daughter, Pao noticed how Kleiner's structure systematically excluded women partners. A new rule limited junior partners to one investment per year, which later became one per fund for women-effectively one investment every three years. Meanwhile, male junior partners flouted the rule, with Chi-Hua investing in seven startups in 2011 alone. This made success nearly impossible for women, as picking winners requires multiple opportunities.
By spring 2011, Pao voiced concerns again. Juliet, another partner, admitted the firm wasn't great for Pao's "quiet thoughtfulness" or women generally. The hiring process revealed clear bias-only three of thirty-seven candidates on a recent list were women, with notes documenting rejections based on age and ethnic background ("too Eastern European"). Meanwhile, Pao discovered she wasn't alone in experiencing harassment from Ajit. When confiding in Trae Vassallo, she revealed he had harassed her too while she was pregnant. Despite women junior partners having twice the experience of their male counterparts, all the men were promoted while none of the women were even considered.
Capitolo 8
Taking a Stand: The Lawsuit
After weeks with no response from Kleiner, Pao filed a claim with California's Department of Fair Employment and Housing in March 2012, followed by a lawsuit against Kleiner in May. The firm hired Brunswick, a powerful crisis-management PR firm known for their "reputation management" tactics, which Pao believes included online defamation campaigns against her. Thousands of messages daily derided her as incompetent and crazy. Kleiner publicly labeled her a "poor performer" making "false allegations," culminating in a Vanity Fair hit piece insinuating her marriage was a sham.
Despite the onslaught, Pao tried focusing on her personal life-her daughter was thriving and she was pregnant with their second child. At work, she became increasingly isolated. Partners avoided eye contact, conversations stopped when she approached, and colleagues physically moved away when she sat near them. During this period, she suffered a miscarriage that her doctor suggested might be stress-related, making her feel Kleiner had taken everything from her-her time, dignity, and now her chance at another child.
Pao's lawsuit filing condensed seven years at Kleiner into twelve double-spaced pages, claiming gender discrimination in promotion and pay, plus retaliation. She quickly learned why nobody points out problems or files lawsuits-all her built-up goodwill vanished instantly.
For months after filing, she continued working at Kleiner among people who actively avoided her. The firm made three attempts to mediate quietly, wanting to buy her silence while refusing to acknowledge their diversity problem. Their lawyer made Pao's life hell, intimidating her friends and family and using private information from privileged emails.
In October 2012, Pao was terminated from Kleiner. She received only six months' severance while her phones and computer were confiscated immediately. Kleiner's PR machine ensured she was trashed in the press as having "poor performance." John and Kleiner wielded enormous power through their billions, global networks, and crisis-management PR firm, while Pao was unemployed and isolated.
Capitolo 9
Reddit and the Glass Cliff
A decade ago, British professors coined the term "glass cliff" to describe when women finally break through the glass ceiling only to be handed leadership positions at companies about to implode. The woman is blamed when the company fails, reinforcing the idea that women can't lead.
Reddit was struggling when Pao took over as CEO. Following the previous CEO's sudden departure and a proposed office relocation, morale was low. The team was confused about both physical location and strategic direction, making recruiting challenging-especially for diversity in a team that lacked it.
As reddit's CEO, Pao believed she could make a difference by bringing a welcoming approach into the insular tech world. While she initially focused on monetization and mobile technology, her goals expanded to creating a more inclusive office culture and product where underrepresented groups weren't harassed off the site.
She was troubled by reddit's role in the Boston Marathon bomber witch hunt, where users incorrectly blamed missing student Sunil Tripathi, subjecting his family to harassment during their search for him. When his body was later found in a river, reddit's response essentially denied responsibility, claiming to be a neutral platform. Sunil's mother's words haunted Pao: "Whatever started this, the fact that adults in media, reddit or wherever ran with it is just-incredible."
One of Pao's proudest hires was bethanye McKinney Blount, who joined as VP of Engineering. With experience from Second Life and Facebook, she understood online communities and scaling. Despite their different backgrounds, they shared values around fairness and fixing broken systems.
Changing reddit's culture proved challenging. The hiring process, which relied on an obscure webpage, produced overwhelmingly white male candidates. The desire for "culture fit"-hiring hardcore reddit users-was intense. Pao adopted her predecessor's consultant-first approach to bring in diverse talent in HR, UX, recruiting, and marketing. Her marketing consultant described reddit's culture as a "poltergeist"-a magnetic core of old-timers with a strong, obstructionist culture that repelled new initiatives.
Capitolo 10
The Trial and Its Aftermath
As Pao balanced her CEO duties at reddit with trial preparation, she discovered her lawsuit was part of a larger movement. Women across industries were sharing similar stories of discrimination-from law firms sending women home for wearing pants to Hollywood actresses being paid less than male counterparts. Jessica Chastain and Jennifer Lawrence spoke out about gender pay gaps, with Lawrence writing about not wanting to seem "difficult" during negotiations.
Pao's legal team was small but mighty compared to Kleiner's army. Her lawyers Therese and Alan brought different strengths-she was sharp-minded with a hippie spirit beneath her professional exterior, while he was precise, kind and optimistic about the legal system. Meanwhile, Kleiner deployed approximately twenty lawyers and multiple publicists against her.
The jury selection process was disheartening. Potential jurors who acknowledged tech industry discrimination were systematically dismissed as "biased." One candidate noted, "Working in tech, women aren't necessarily treated well," while another said, "I tend to be the only woman in the room. And as a result, I feel like I have to claw my way to the top sometimes." All were released, leaving only jurors who either didn't see or didn't care about discrimination issues.
During trial preparation, Pao was shocked to discover how some colleagues had described her. Bing had told investigators she was "like a tax attorney" who "sucks all the air out of the room"-a hurtful characterization from someone she'd considered a kindred spirit. After processing her initial hurt, she realized that being a "buzzkill" often meant not laughing at inappropriate jokes or refusing to participate in all-male events and objectifying women.
The verdict came down on March 27, 2015. Despite Pao's disappointment, she was prepared for this outcome given the obstacles she faced-being outnumbered, unable to afford transcripts, and facing negative press coverage. At the press conference afterward, she delivered her prepared statement calmly, thanking supporters and expressing hope that she'd helped level the playing field for women and minorities in venture capital.
Despite losing the case, Pao received an outpouring of support. One Black female juror who had voted for her told the press she believed Pao's account and hoped the case would encourage more women to speak out. Messages flooded in from business school friends, law school colleagues, and even white men in tech. The case had opened people's eyes to tech's exclusionary culture and put a small dent in venture capital firms' sense of invincibility.
Capitolo 11
Project Include: A New Approach to Diversity
After leaving reddit, Pao took time to decompress in Hawaii where she mentally released the "Box" of trial trauma that had weighed on her. Upon returning, she began rebuilding her life-organizing her home, addressing health needs, volunteering, and reconnecting with supporters. She met with women who had faced similar online harassment, including Gamergate targets. Their conversations revealed disturbingly similar experiences of discrimination in tech-qualified women being passed over, stigmatized for having children, and excluded from opportunities.
Pao was no longer alone in her fight. People from elementary school through her professional life reached out in support, and even strangers worldwide contacted her with thanks. During the Kleiner press event, entrepreneurs openly declared "We're Team Ellen." Hillary Clinton acknowledged the trial showed tech needed to address gender issues, and Sheryl Sandberg identified with Pao's experience.
Months after the trial, Pao was picked up by a Lyft driver who turned out to be one of her jurors. When she asked if he ever had second thoughts about the verdict, he admitted he did, but added that she "should have gotten a better lawyer. They had you outgunned." Though she protested that shouldn't matter, he acknowledged, "It shouldn't, but it does." This encounter reinforced her understanding that the odds remained stacked against diversity and inclusion in tech, with powerful forces maintaining the status quo.
Pao and her friends had evolved in their understanding of tech's diversity problems. They'd moved from blaming individual bad actors to recognizing problematic company cultures to finally seeing that the entire tech system had exclusion built into its design. They realized tech needed a complete "reset," not just descriptions of problems but honest discussions about solutions.
Pao's epiphany came while talking with Erica Joy Baker, a former Google engineer who had exposed pay inequities there before joining Slack. Like Pao, she'd been a computer nerd from childhood but faced constant barriers as a Black woman in tech. At college, professors questioned why she was there; at Google, she was underpaid, mistaken for admin staff, and eventually blackballed after speaking up.
In December, Pao invited powerful advocates to a "solutions brainstorming dinner" at her apartment. They skipped past the exhausting "prove-there-is-a-problem" phase and focused immediately on solutions. Over Chinese takeout around Pao's dining table, they debated how to make tech more inclusive while her daughter fell asleep to the sound of their laughter.
Their group evolved quickly as they sought diverse perspectives while maintaining their core requirement: boldness to speak honestly about problems. Despite initial skepticism, they maintained momentum through decisive action. They hired an editor for consistency, found a logo designer, and recruited coders. They commissioned case studies where they needed more expertise and asked a dozen tech CEOs (mostly white men) to review their recommendations.
Project Include quickly transformed from dinner conversations to an award-winning nonprofit partnering with CEOs and VCs across Silicon Valley. They supported each other through Slack, sharing information, sanity-checking experiences, and creating the kind of team Pao wished everyone could experience-based solely on being good teammates to everyone.
Capitolo 12
The Future of Tech: A More Inclusive Vision
Pao has grown increasingly convinced that people are ready to address diversity in tech. When her lawsuit first appeared in the news, many were skeptical of her experiences. But gradually, people began sharing their own stories, realizing the industry's systemic flaws around inclusion.
Project Include has empowered Pao to take stronger stands. She now shares three principles with underrepresented groups navigating hostile cultures: 1) Listen to your gut-she should have left Kleiner much earlier; 2) Accept that not everyone wants to change-she couldn't transform Kleiner despite John's sympathy; and 3) Learn from your mistakes-tracking both wins and losses helps make better future choices.
The "death by a thousand cuts" of microaggressions can be countered with "a thousand Band-Aids"-small encouragements that repair the damage of exclusion. Pao has received countless such supports from Project Include members and even strangers.
Positive signs for diversity are emerging everywhere. As chief diversity and inclusion officer at the Kapor Center, Pao has reconnected with CEOs genuinely interested in diversifying their teams-motivated by social justice, research showing diversity's profitability, better product development, or demographic shifts. While many leaders fear saying the wrong thing, there should be no shame in navigating this new territory without a roadmap.
Pao's daughter, who once dreaded Kleiner family events, now eagerly attends parties with her new colleagues. She intuitively recognizes that this diverse team shares a love of technology and boundless possibility. They demonstrate that power and kindness aren't mutually exclusive, that vulnerability and strength can coexist. When Pao sees her daughter's optimistic face-the same look she had when first falling in love with technology-she feels hope too.
Capitolo 13
Practical Steps for Creating Inclusive Workplaces
Pao offers eight specific ways to implement her three core principles-follow your gut, accept that change is hard, and learn from mistakes:
1. Understand the context of systemic bias rather than taking exclusion personally.
2. Find your team of supporters-not necessarily formal mentors, but people you trust who'll speak up for you.
3. Pick your battles strategically, bundling issues so they can't be easily dismissed.
4. Take actual jobs, not promises of future advancement-if they're uncomfortable with you now, promotion rarely materializes later.
5. Know what you're getting into as a trailblazer-prepare for extra work explaining, teaching, and dealing with microaggressions.
6. Maintain an "F-you fund" of savings that gives you the option to leave if necessary.
7. Don't reject opportunities that might be tied to your identity-if being a woman of color occasionally gives you an advantage, embrace it.
8. Help others through grassroots efforts, education, and resource-sharing.
Sustain yourself through this journey with inspiring books, films and talks-from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's "We Should All Be Feminists" to "Hidden Figures" to Bryan Stevenson's TED talk on justice system inequities. And for rallying the spirit, Pao recommends martial arts movies where scrappy underdogs take on empires-and win.
