Wolfpack: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game

Résumé de Wolfpack

1. 1

   When the Wolves Came Home

   

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   In 1995, scientists reintroduced wolves to Yellowstone National Park after a 70-year absence. What happened next stunned everyone: rivers changed course, forests regenerated, and the entire ecosystem transformed. The wolves didn't just survive-they restored balance to a broken system. This is the metaphor that drives one of the most powerful leadership manifestos of our generation, born from a commencement speech that went viral and became a rallying cry for women everywhere. The message is simple yet revolutionary: women aren't Little Red Riding Hood, afraid of the big bad wolf. We are the wolves. And when we run together, we change everything. Think about the stories we feed little girls. Stay on the path. Don't talk to strangers. Keep your voice down. Be grateful for what you're given. These aren't just fairy tales-they're instructions for staying small, staying safe, staying controllable. But what if the most dangerous thing isn't the wolf in the woods? What if it's the path itself, keeping you from discovering who you really are?

2. 2

   Breaking Free from the Prescribed Path

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   Growing up, I hated dresses with visceral intensity. I felt like an imposter in costume, hiding behind ruffles and bows. My all-girls high school revealed something extraordinary: the same girls who stayed quiet around boys became animated, opinionated, fearless when alone. We dressed for comfort, not attention. We discovered that girls don't have to perform femininity for anyone's approval-we can wear on the outside how we feel on the inside, even if it makes others uncomfortable. Love presented another prescribed path. I dated boys because that's what good Catholic girls did. But "fine" shouldn't be the standard for love. When I felt that spark with a girl-that necessary, undeniable pull-I faced a choice: follow the safe path or venture into the woods. Terrified of losing my family, I initially tried burying this truth. But denying yourself real love kills something essential inside. Trembling and secretly, I chose love. I chose myself. I chose to be the wolf. My career dreams also defied expectations. I wanted to play professional soccer, not knowing if it even existed for women. Behind the scenes, women were blazing trails-fighting for Title IX, building professional leagues, striking for livable wages. These women made a new path for wolves like me to run on. They built something many knew they'd never benefit from themselves. That's what wolves do-we think beyond our own survival to the survival of the pack.

3. 3

   When Gratitude Becomes a Cage and the Fight for Equality

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   Standing on stage at the ESPN Icon Awards alongside Kobe Bryant and Peyton Manning felt surreal. We'd made similar sacrifices and achieved at comparable levels. But walking off that stage, reality hit: they were walking into futures with enormous bank accounts and endless opportunities. My hustling days were just beginning. In my hotel room, I finally let myself feel the anger I'd been swallowing for decades. In 2018, the FIFA Men's World Cup winners took home $38 million-nineteen times more than the women's champions in 2015, despite our team generating more profit. This wasn't just about soccer. This was every woman's story, playing out on the world's biggest stage. Women earn significantly less than men in equivalent positions-on average, we must work 66 extra days to earn the same annual salary. For women of color, the gap widens: Black women earn only 63 cents, and Latina women only 54 cents, for every dollar paid to white men. I spent most of my career just feeling grateful-grateful for a paycheck, to represent my country, to be the token woman at the table. I was so grateful to receive any respect that I was afraid to demand more. This is the gratitude trap-a cage built from our own appreciation, keeping us from demanding what we deserve. Here's what maintains the pay gap: not just men's entitlement, but women's gratitude. When one woman enters a previously all-male space, she's expected to be so grateful that she won't rock the boat. But gratitude and ambition aren't opposites-they're partners. You can be thankful for your seat while pulling up chairs for other women.

4. Chapitre 4

   Leadership Beyond the Spotlight and Transforming Failure into Fuel

   True leadership isn't about standing in the spotlight-it's about making an impact from wherever you are. During my final World Cup in 2015, after years as a starter, I found myself benched. I faced a choice: pout on the sidelines or find a new way to lead. My teammate Lori Lindsey taught me that leadership isn't about position-it's about impact. She brought incredible energy from the bench despite limited playing time. So I transformed my role. I screamed encouragement, kept water ready, celebrated goals like they were my own, and offered whatever each player needed-comfort, tough love, or tactical instruction. We won that World Cup, and our bench support was crucial. Leadership isn't a position to achieve-it's an inherent power to claim. Every woman is the leader of her own life, whether parenting, volunteering, setting boundaries, or supporting colleagues. If you have a voice, you have influence. If you have relationships, you have hearts to guide. If you have privilege, you have power to share. If you have pain, you have empathy to offer. Your value isn't determined by your position but by your contribution. On my first visit to the U.S. Women's National Team locker room, I expected walls lined with trophies. Instead, I found a small photo near the door: their Norwegian rivals celebrating after defeating the USA in the 1995 World Cup. This team didn't hide from failure-they used it as fuel, winning Olympic gold the following year. Women often panic when we fail, viewing it as proof we're imposters. But imperfect men have run the world forever-it's time for imperfect women to join them. After retiring from soccer, I failed spectacularly as a commentator, freezing on camera during international television coverage. Instead of quitting, I used that failure as information, leading me to found a leadership company where I could share lessons from sports authentically. Failure isn't the end-it's valuable data pointing toward growth. When we fail, we learn what doesn't work and what we need to improve. The next time you fail-and you will, because you're human and trying-feel the sting. Then transform that failure into fuel. Ask: What can I learn? How can this make me stronger? The only true failure is giving up because you stumbled.

   Chapitre 5

   The Power of Celebration and Solidarity

   When a goal is scored in soccer, it represents perfect synchronicity - the right pass, perfect timing, every player in position. What happens next transforms individuals into a team: the bench erupts, teammates rush toward the scorer, celebrating everything that made that goal possible. As a player who scored 184 international goals, I always pointed to my teammates - to the one who assisted, the defender who protected us, the midfielder who ran tirelessly. This celebration ritual contains profound wisdom for women navigating a world that often pits us against each other. When a woman scores in life - lands the promotion, publishes the book, launches the business - we can rush toward her in celebration or point to acknowledge those who made it possible. Both actions create connection rather than competition. Scarcity has been planted among us, making us compete for token seats rather than building bigger tables together. Success, love, and power are infinite, not pies with limited slices. Imagine workplaces where women amplified each other's voices, ensuring ideas aren't stolen or ignored. In a world designed to keep women competing for scraps, our solidarity becomes revolutionary. Her victory is your victory.

   Chapitre 6

   Demanding What You Deserve

   When I was younger, my hero was Michelle Akers, the best player in the world. During a scrimmage with our youth national team, Michelle spent three quarters coaching us gently. But when her team was losing by three goals, she ran to her goalkeeper and screamed, "GIVE. ME. THE. EFFING. BALL." She took that ball, dribbled through our entire team, and scored. Then she did it again. And again. Until her team won. Before that moment, I'd always dimmed my light, operating at 75 percent to avoid outshining others. But seeing Michelle's competitive fire-a woman who owned her desire to win-I stopped pretending to be less powerful than I am. I think about Michelle whenever I doubt myself. When I fell in love with Glennon and her three children, I felt unprepared to be a stepmother. But I decided that when you want something badly enough, you show up before you're ready and demand the ball. Women have been conditioned to wait to be chosen-for the promotion, the opportunity, the recognition. But what if we flipped the script? GIVE ME THE JOB. GIVE ME THE SAME PAY. GIVE ME THE PROMOTION. GIVE ME THE MICROPHONE. GIVE ME THE RESPECT I DESERVE-AND GIVE IT TO MY WOLFPACK, TOO. When you know you're the right person for the moment, don't wait to be chosen. Choose yourself. Demand the ball.

   Chapitre 7

   Running with Your Pack

   After three years off from professional soccer, I joined a running challenge with my friend Mel. Every run was torture. Despite being a former athlete who trained six hours daily, I was miserable. Glennon identified the problem: "You don't have your teammates running with you anymore. You used to run with your Pack. Now you're a lone wolf." She was right. My entire athletic career, I'd been surrounded by teammates suffering with me, encouraging me, making me laugh. Our shared suffering became bearable. When my Wolfpack speech went viral, one woman captured why it resonated: she wrote about the special loneliness of being a woman-often the only one in the room, raising children without a village, siloed and isolated. "Men have the old boys' club," she wrote. "We need one. I want a Wolfpack for me, too." This longing for connection is universal. We're social creatures designed for community, yet modern life leaves us isolated. Women face unique challenges-we're pitted against each other in competition, socialized to be self-sufficient rather than interdependent, taught that asking for help is weakness. But no one thrives alone. Whether you're a mom, student, CEO, or little girl, you need brave and honest women to support you, hold you accountable, and join you to change the world. In 1995, scientists brought wolves back to Yellowstone, and the entire ecosystem transformed. Rivers changed course. Forests regenerated. Balance returned. This is what happens when wolves run together-they restore what's broken. You are not Little Red Riding Hood, afraid and small. You are the wolf. When you run with your pack-celebrating victories, transforming failure into fuel, demanding what you deserve-you don't just change your own life. You change the entire ecosystem. The world needs your wildness, your hunger, your howl. So find your pack. Unleash your power. And run.

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