Selfless: The Social Creation of “You” by Brian Lowery Summary
Overview of Selfless: The Social Creation of “You”
"Selfless" shatters the myth of fixed identity, revealing how our 'self' is constantly shaped by social forces. Named among 2023's top psychology books, Lowery's work gives language to that strange feeling when parts of your past feel like another lifetime. Who are you without others?
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Points clés
The Mirror That Creates You
Imagine waking up tomorrow to discover that everyone treats you completely differently than they did today. Your family acts as if you're a stranger, colleagues doubt your competence, and friends respond to you with suspicion rather than warmth. How long would it take before you began questioning your own identity? This scenario illuminates the radical premise at the heart of Stanford professor Brian Lowery's groundbreaking work: there is no "authentic self" waiting to be discovered because we are entirely created through our relationships with others. The quest to "find yourself" misses the fundamental truth that your self isn't something you uncover-it's something continuously constructed through social interaction. In a world obsessed with individual authenticity, this perspective challenges our most cherished assumptions. We experience ourselves as coherent, autonomous beings-a little "you" managing the controls of your life. Yet this intuitive understanding crumbles under scrutiny. The person you become when hanging out with college friends differs fundamentally from who you are in professional settings or family gatherings. These aren't masks you wear-they're different versions of you activated by social context. What if the self isn't something you possess but something perpetually created between you and others?
The Illusion of Independence
Multiple Selves in Action
Reality as Social Construction
The Freedom Paradox
Identity Beyond Biology
The Power of Co-Creation
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Cree par des anciens de Columbia University a San Francisco
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"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
Cree par des anciens de Columbia University a San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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