You Never Forget Your First by Alexis Coe Summary

You Never Forget Your First is a myth-busting biography of George Washington that challenges traditional narratives by focusing on his personal life, relationships, and flaws. Alexis Coe highlights his struggles with his mother, marriage to Martha Custis, and role as a slave owner, while debunking legends like the cherry tree story. The book also examines his military tactics, espionage efforts, and presidency through a modern, feminist lens.

This book is ideal for readers seeking a fresh, accessible take on George Washington that prioritizes humanizing details over hero worship. History enthusiasts, fans of feminist historiography, and those interested in the Founding Fathers’ complexities will appreciate its candid exploration of Washington’s personal and political life. It’s also suited for readers who prefer concise, engaging biographies with humor and contemporary relevance.

Yes, for its unconventional perspective and sharp wit. Coe’s biography stands out as the first Washington biography by a woman in over 40 years, offering nuanced insights into his relationships, health struggles, and contradictions as a slave-owning revolutionary. While not exhaustive, it’s a compelling primer for reassessing Washington’s legacy.

Coe’s work rejects the “great man” trope, emphasizing Washington’s humanity—his insecurities, family dynamics, and reliance on enslaved labor. Unlike male-authored biographies, she critiques his neglect of his mother, explores Martha Washington’s influence, and uses humor to dissect myths. The book also includes unique features like timelines, disease lists, and a hoecakes recipe.

Key themes include leadership flaws, the paradox of a slave-owning revolutionary, and the constructed nature of historical legacy. Coe scrutinizes Washington’s military pragmatism, his use of propaganda, and efforts to unify post-war America. The book also underscores how myths have obscured his true character and accomplishments.

Coe confronts Washington’s ownership of enslaved people head-on, detailing his reliance on forced labor at Mount Vernon and his conflicted stance on abolition. She highlights figures like William Lee, his enslaved valet, and critiques Washington’s failure to free most slaves during his lifetime. The book frames slavery as central to understanding his legacy, not a peripheral footnote.

The biography uncovers lesser-known quirks, such as Washington’s love of hoecakes (a cornmeal recipe included in the book), his fear of smallpox, and legal battles over stolen clothing. It also explores his fraught relationship with his mother and his role as a stepfather to Martha’s children.

Coe dismantles myths like Washington’s wooden teeth (they were ivory) and his “first president in the White House” status (it was Adams). She argues earlier biographers exaggerated his military genius and downplayed his failures, such as his early diplomatic blunders. The book also questions his treatment of Indigenous communities and enslaved people.

Some reviewers find the book overly superficial for readers seeking in-depth military or political analysis. Critics note its irreverent tone occasionally undermines gravitas, and its focus on debunking myths can feel repetitive. However, most praise its originality and accessibility as strengths.

Coe balances Washington’s strategic successes—like the Culper Ring spy network—with critiques of his battlefield impulsiveness. She details his use of propaganda to boost morale and his struggles with supply shortages, disease, and desertion. The book frames his leadership as pragmatic rather than heroic.

Yes, the biography includes a hoecakes recipe from Mount Vernon, a timeline of Washington’s diseases, and a chart of animals he owned. These elements humanize him and provide tangible links to his daily life. Sidebars also list his pet peeves, such as idle chatter and slapstick humor.

By linking Washington’s era to contemporary issues like leadership ethics, racial justice, and media manipulation, Coe makes his story resonate today. The book’s emphasis on questioning historical narratives aligns with current debates about how we memorialize flawed figures.