Wise and otherwise: a salute to life

Summary of Wise and otherwise

1. 1

   Stories That Shape Our Understanding: Sudha Murty's Lens on Humanity

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   When Sudha Murty published "Wise and Otherwise," few could have predicted its enduring impact on readers across generations. This collection of short anecdotes, drawn from her extensive travels and experiences as chairperson of the Infosys Foundation, has sold over 150,000 copies and been translated into numerous Indian languages. What makes this book particularly special is how it captures the essence of human nature through simple yet profound encounters. Oprah Winfrey once cited it as a book that "opened her eyes to everyday wisdom in Indian culture," while Bill Gates praised its "unpretentious approach to complex social issues." In a world increasingly divided by technology and ideology, Murty's observations remind us of our shared humanity and the timeless wisdom found in ordinary lives.

2. 2

   The Quiet Revolution of Honest Hearts

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   Honesty isn't taught in universities or acquired through wealth-it's an innate quality that shines brightest in the most unexpected places. This truth became evident when Sudha Murty encountered Hanumanthappa, a tribal coolie's son who had secured eighth rank in his Secondary School Leaving Certificate exams. Learning of his inability to continue education due to poverty, she offered to sponsor his studies at the Teachers' Training College in Bellary. After sending him Rs 1,800 for six months of expenses, she later sent another Rs 1,800. What happened next was extraordinary-Hanumanthappa returned Rs 300 because the college had been closed for two months due to holidays and a strike, reducing his expenses. Despite living in poverty, his natural integrity compelled him to return money he hadn't used. This stands in stark contrast to another encounter with a young professional who coordinated efficiently with Murty on a project. Impressed by his work, she accepted his invitation for tea at his home. There, he proudly showcased his two-year-old son's abilities, claiming credit for the child's intelligence through both training and heredity. He boasted about always being a first-ranker and graduating from BVB Engineering College in Hubli with first rank and a gold medal in 1972. When Murty asked to see the medal, he grew defensive. She then revealed that she herself had won that gold medal in 1972, and only one was awarded each year. Confronted with his lie, he had no answer. These contrasting stories illustrate a profound truth: education and wealth don't necessarily correlate with integrity. Some of the most honest people may be found among those with the least material possessions, while accomplished professionals might fabricate achievements despite their success. True character reveals itself not in moments of public recognition but in private decisions when no one is watching-like returning money that wasn't yours to keep, even when you desperately need it.

3. 3

   Dignity in Giving and Receiving

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   In the lush Sahyadri Hills during monsoon season, Murty ventured to a tribal village school that her charitable trust wanted to help improve. The natural beauty-exotic vegetation scents, bird songs, and unpolluted breeze-provided a stunning backdrop to a profound lesson in human dignity. After meeting with the elderly watchman and the Thandappa (tribal headman), she returned in winter with umbrellas and clothes for the children. The Thandappa offered her a bottle of special red fruit juice as a gift. When she politely declined, he firmly stated they could not accept her gifts unless she accepted theirs first: "When you want to give us something, we accept; but only when we can give something to you too." This unschooled tribal elder taught her that "there is a grace in accepting also"-a lesson in mutual respect that many educated people never learn. This principle of dignity in both giving and receiving appears again in the story of Sheikh Mohammed, a humble stationery shop owner who supplied books for slum schools. When his sister Zubeida fell ill with cancer, he sold family jewelry and took loans rather than asking for charity. Though Murty provided fifty thousand rupees for the operation, Zubeida eventually passed away. Later, Sheikh brought his niece Tabassum to meet Murty, returning three thousand rupees that weren't used for treatment. Even on her deathbed, Zubeida had insisted this money be returned to help someone needier. These stories reveal a profound truth about human dignity: true charity isn't about one-way giving but about preserving the recipient's self-respect. The tribal elder understood that accepting gifts without giving in return creates an imbalance of power. Similarly, Zubeida, despite her poverty and illness, maintained her dignity by ensuring unused funds were returned. In our modern world of professional philanthropy and tax-deductible donations, we often forget that giving should honor the recipient's dignity rather than elevate the giver's status. The most meaningful exchanges occur when both parties maintain their self-respect-a lesson that comes not from wealthy philanthropists but from those with little material wealth but rich principles.

4. Chapter 4

   The Changing Face of Family and Tradition

   The concept of family has undergone dramatic transformation in contemporary society, often leaving behind traditional values of care and respect. This shift becomes painfully evident when Murty visits neighbors after hearing someone in their family had died. Instead of finding a household in mourning, she encounters a festive atmosphere-loud music, children playing, and people chatting cheerfully. When she finally broaches the subject, the wife casually mentions it was her mother-in-law who had died after being bedridden with a stroke. Shockingly, she describes the death as "good riddance" while complaining about the burden of caregiving. The husband merely adds that death had relieved his mother from suffering. This callous attitude reflects how our busy lives have reduced grief to being proportionate to a person's perceived usefulness. The erosion of family bonds extends to parent-child relationships as well. Murty encounters an elderly man abandoned at a bus stop by his son. After arranging for him to stay at an old-age home, she later learns from the same son (who had initially pretended to be a stranger) that the old man had substantial savings-with the son as the nominee. This deception reveals a troubling reality: "In Western countries, elderly people often will their property to the facilities that cared for them in their final days, benefiting other seniors. But in India, we have 'the worst of both worlds': children neglect their parents, yet parents still leave everything to those same children." Even festivals, traditionally times for family reunion and celebration, have lost their meaning. During Diwali, Murty's friend laments how the anticipation of special treats has disappeared in an era of readily available restaurant food. Families are scattered geographically, making reunions difficult, and few understand the festival's significance from sacred epics. Some people even "escape" festivals entirely by vacationing or hiding away. These changes reflect broader shifts in societal values. A wedding invitation from thirty years ago sought a bride who knew household work and could adapt to joint family life, while her daughter's modern matrimonial ad shows dramatic changes-seeking a "smart, slim, fair software engineer" who preferred nuclear family, with "caste no bar" and "horoscope not needed." These stories paint a portrait of a society in transition, where traditional family bonds are weakening without necessarily being replaced by more compassionate alternatives. The challenge lies not in blindly preserving traditions but in retaining the core values of care, respect, and intergenerational support that give meaning to family life.

   Chapter 5

   Courage and Character in Everyday Heroes

   True courage often emerges not from those in positions of power but from ordinary individuals facing extraordinary circumstances with integrity. Murty's encounters reveal how character manifests in the most challenging moments. Consider the inexperienced nurse substituting in an operating theater during surgery performed by a senior surgeon. Following protocol, she counted the cotton mops before surgery. When her count showed one mop missing, she firmly refused to provide needle and catgut to close the incision, despite the surgeon's growing impatience and threats of dismissal. Eventually, the surgeon found the blood-soaked mop on the floor. When asked how she could stand firm under such pressure, she simply replied that she was following her teacher's instructions. Her courage to prioritize patient safety over professional intimidation exemplifies character in action. Similarly, Tara, a middle-aged gharwali (brothel keeper) encountered during Rakhi day (Narali-Poornima), reveals unexpected depth of character despite her circumstances. Initially angry when Murty addresses her as "akka" (elder sister), she later explains her reaction: orphaned by an epidemic, she worked as a child laborer to support her younger brother, only for him to sell her to a brothel when she was twelve. The betrayal occurred on Narali-Poornima day, making the innocent use of "akka" trigger painful memories of the sacred brother-sister bond that was so cruelly violated. Despite her tragic life, Tara maintains her spirit and seeks education-a different kind of courage. Even children demonstrate remarkable character, as seen in twelve-year-old Javed, a poor fisherman's son in Chandipur, Orissa. Despite earning only 5-10 rupees daily collecting crabs and helping his mother, Javed maintains remarkable enthusiasm. When questioned about his meager earnings, he responds wisely: "Is five rupees not a big sum compared to nothing? Panch rupay se bahut kuch hota hai! Every drop makes an ocean." His ability to find value and meaning in his modest circumstances reveals a maturity beyond his years. These stories challenge conventional notions of heroism. The true heroes aren't necessarily those with wealth, education, or social status, but individuals who maintain their integrity when facing difficult choices. The nurse who stood her ground against authority, the brothel keeper who survived unimaginable betrayal without losing her humanity, and the child who finds abundance in scarcity-all demonstrate that character isn't determined by circumstances but by how we respond to them. In a world that often celebrates power and success, these quiet heroes remind us that courage comes in many forms, and true character reveals itself not in moments of triumph but in times of testing.

   Chapter 6

   Education: Beyond Degrees to Wisdom

   True education extends far beyond academic credentials or professional qualifications-it's about developing wisdom, confidence, and the ability to navigate life's complexities. Murty's encounters reveal the stark contrast between formal education and genuine learning. Raghavendra Varnekar, Murty's math teacher, approached mathematics with extraordinary passion, calling it the "queen of science" and making it accessible to all students. Despite his humble life without recognition or awards, he excelled in teaching. During his final days, when Murty visited with a gift, he refused it, explaining that a teacher's duty is to make students confident to face life's unknown examinations. She compares him to a burning candle-giving light to others while consuming itself-and credits him for her confidence to speak publicly and face life's difficulties. This vision of education contrasts sharply with modern realities. In rural Karnataka on Independence Day, Murty meets a headmaster rushing to Bangalore instead of conducting school celebrations, dismissing the day as "a ritual every year and a sheer waste of time." He's delegated the ceremony to his assistant, using a twenty-year-old speech, while focusing on his daughter's education and his own transfer request. Similarly, in Bangalore, only fifty of a thousand students attended mandatory Independence Day celebrations, as families took advantage of the long weekend for holidays. Even more troubling is the story of a headmistress in Orissa who converted a classroom building into her personal residence while students remained overcrowded. When confronted, she lied repeatedly until a young student revealed the truth. Murty admonishes her for failing her duty as both teacher and mother figure, asking how she could prioritize saving rent money over her students' welfare in "the land of great teachers." The consequences of inadequate education become evident in the story of Charu, a former student who visits Murty in distress despite having a good education and bank job. After marriage, Charu's husband and mother-in-law force her to do all housework, surrender her salary, and beg for even small amounts of money. Murty questions why educated, financially independent women still suffer in marriages, emphasizing that education should teach life skills beyond academics, particularly self-confidence for women. These stories reveal that true education isn't measured by degrees or marks but by the development of character, confidence, and critical thinking. A genuinely educated person possesses not just knowledge but wisdom-the ability to apply that knowledge meaningfully in life's unpredictable circumstances. As Kiran Bedi observed in a story Murty shares, "education means more than scoring good marks." True education develops the confidence to face life's challenges with integrity and purpose.

   Chapter 7

   The Paradox of Wealth and Happiness

   Does material prosperity guarantee happiness? Murty's encounters reveal the complex and often counterintuitive relationship between wealth and contentment, challenging our assumptions about what constitutes a good life. Meena, once a chronic pessimist whose gloom affected everyone around her, underwent a remarkable transformation after observing an old beggar and his five-year-old granddaughter. Despite having no shelter and being hungry, they played joyfully in the rain-laughing and clapping with genuine happiness. This scene forced Meena to examine her own life. Despite having comforts the beggars lacked, she was missing their most valuable asset-the ability to find happiness in life as it was. She made a conscious decision to change her attitude, learning to find joy in every small thing. Similarly, Murty contrasts her mother's cook Girija with family friend Vasant. Despite being abandoned by her husband, Girija remains cheerful and positive, focusing on her blessings-having only one child to support, a bright and obedient son, and kind employers. Meanwhile, Vasant, an executive at a multinational company, constantly complains about his son's studies, his real estate investments, and Bangalore's changing climate. Girija, though uneducated, has learned the valuable life lesson of finding positivity in every difficulty, while educated Vasant makes himself miserable by focusing on what he lacks. The relationship between wealth and generosity also reveals surprising patterns. At a house-warming ceremony, Murty observes wealthy guests engaged in shallow conversations about fashion and wedding preparations. When asked about her contribution to earthquake relief, a woman dismissively responds that she didn't donate because she has "no relatives in that area" and there's "no end to problems" in the country. This contrasts sharply with the story of Mariappa, a wealthy merchant from 1914 Bangalore who quietly helped poor students and left his fortune to establish a hostel for 45 needy students from different castes, believing that "the dana given by the right hand should not be known even to the left hand." Even more striking is the contrast between an anonymous donor from Chennai who sent Rs 4,00,000 without any demands for recognition, and a wealthy woman who donated just Rs 10,000 but demanded to be chief guest with press coverage. These stories reveal that wealth itself is neutral-it's our relationship with it that determines its impact on our lives. Those who see money as a tool for service often find fulfillment, while those who measure their worth by material possessions frequently remain dissatisfied. True contentment comes not from what we possess but from how we perceive what we have-a lesson that both the poorest beggar and the wealthiest philanthropist might understand, though for very different reasons.

   Chapter 8

   Gender Realities: Challenges and Resilience

   Women in India face a complex landscape of challenges despite constitutional guarantees of equality. Murty's encounters reveal both the harsh realities they navigate and the remarkable resilience many demonstrate in the face of adversity. The burns ward of a hospital exposes one of the greatest miseries women face-young married women suffering from alleged "stove bursts" that are actually dowry killings. A pregnant burn victim tells Murty, "If only my parents had educated me, if I had a job, if my parents had fewer children, I would not have come to this position." Her mother explains they stopped her education after ninth grade, married her off with dowry, and repeatedly sent her back to abusive in-laws. When pregnant with a girl, her husband and in-laws burned her alive. Though she gave a dying declaration, she retracted it fearing for her sisters' safety. The cycle continues because offenders go unpunished and greed grows. This tragic reality contrasts with the story of Yellamma, an uneducated village woman who confidently makes agricultural decisions for her family's vegetable garden. Despite initial ridicule, Yellamma experimented in a hidden corner of the garden until she gained expertise, earning her family's respect. Meanwhile, educated Nalini, a history professor, defers all decisions to her husband Satish, claiming "he knows the outside world." At a seminar, Murty was shocked to discover India ranked second-last on a list of countries ranked by women's freedom, with Scandinavian countries topping the list. She shares an experience in Stockholm where a taxi driver charged her half-fare because she was traveling late at night as a woman-something unimaginable in India. While Indians worship goddesses and speak of equality, the reality is that women are identified in relation to men, lack personal freedom, and often face opposition from other women. The contrast between unwed mothers in different societies further highlights these disparities. Murty's Indian student Kusuma became pregnant by a classmate who refused to marry her. When her parents discovered this, they worried about social judgment, and ultimately Kusuma committed suicide. In Norway, Murty met Mary, an unwed mother who openly acknowledged her status without shame, continued her education with her parents' support, and maintained a cordial relationship with her child's father. These stories reveal that women's status isn't merely a matter of laws or formal rights but of deeply embedded social attitudes and economic realities. Education and financial independence, while necessary, aren't sufficient without broader social change. Yet many women demonstrate remarkable resilience and agency despite these challenges, finding ways to assert their dignity and autonomy even in constraining circumstances.

   Chapter 9

   Finding Meaning Through Service to Others

   Throughout Murty's encounters, a consistent theme emerges: those who find purpose in serving others often discover the deepest fulfillment, regardless of their circumstances or resources. The foreword by T.J.S. George reflects on the Indian tradition of seeing human quality as sattwa, rajas, or tamas-the choice between good and evil that only humans possess. Few consciously choose sattwik work, like Jamshedji Tata who built industrial foundations and educational institutions. Sudha Murty, born with "teacher's blood" and married to a man with "socialist blood," combines these instincts for public service when capitalism blessed them. Without fanfare, she works in tribal forests, impoverished hamlets, and disease-ravaged communities, undeterred by frustrations or human greed. This commitment to service appears in unexpected places, like the swamiji who established a home for destitute women in Mysore-victims of abusive in-laws, alcoholic husbands, or abandonment. Unlike politicians seeking fame, the head of Suttur math donated land worth Rs 1 crore, exemplifying the saying "Acharya devo bhava" (the teacher is equal to God) by helping the downtrodden without expecting anything in return. Even those with limited means find fulfillment through giving, as seen in the story of Sumitra and Suresh who lead increasingly separate lives. Sumitra becomes immersed in horse races and financing movies, while Suresh quietly funds scholarships and donations to educational institutions-all in Sumitra's name, though she doesn't know about it. After both pass away, the author reflects on how these two friends chose different paths facing the same circumstances: Sumitra pursued enjoyment while Suresh opted for philanthropy. Perhaps the most poignant illustration comes when Murty encounters a sixteen-year-old girl who has just become a devadasi (temple dedicatee), realizing the young, innocent girl would likely end up exploiting others in the same cycle thirty years later. Overwhelmed, Murty breaks down sobbing. Her father comforts her, saying tears cannot solve age-old problems, but she might make a difference by helping even ten such women in her lifetime. He advises her to recognize both her strengths and limitations, keeping her feet firmly on the ground while "lighting as many candles as possible rather than remaining in darkness." This metaphor captures the essence of finding meaning through service-we may not solve all the world's problems, but by lighting candles in our own sphere of influence, we bring light to dark places. True fulfillment comes not from accumulating wealth, status, or possessions, but from making a positive difference in others' lives, however modest our contribution might seem. In a world often focused on personal achievement and material success, this reminder of our interconnectedness and shared responsibility offers a path to more meaningful living.

   Chapter 10

   The Timeless Wisdom of Ordinary Lives

   Throughout "Wise and Otherwise," Sudha Murty demonstrates that profound wisdom often emerges not from scholarly texts or expert opinions but from the lived experiences of ordinary people navigating life's challenges with integrity and insight. Consider the 104-year-old tribal man who, despite his disconnection from modern India, offers unexpected wisdom about our relationship with the earth: "For this paper [money], people fight, leave our ancestral land and forests. Have we not led a complete life without it? This is God's land. Nobody owns this land. No river is created by us. When nothing is yours, how can you sell or buy land?" While we pride ourselves on knowing about currency movements and internet trends, this man understands deeper truths about our relationship with the natural world. Similarly, the elderly flower vendor who approaches Murty after she's been ignored at a hospital inauguration offers genuine appreciation that proves more precious than formal honors. Unable to afford expensive gifts, she presents a simple string of jasmine flowers with sincere gratitude, explaining how the common ward space would help people like her who lack connections for special rooms. Her authentic recognition reminds Murty that their work's true purpose is helping those in need, not pleasing politicians. Even children demonstrate remarkable wisdom, as when Murty asks her teenage son about the twentieth century's most important revolutions. She's surprised by his thoughtful analysis: Gandhi's non-violence that influenced global leaders, Hitler's destructive hatred that caused World War II, and mass media's power to shrink the world. His mature perspective makes her realize her son has grown capable of seeing the world independently. The wisdom of ordinary people often challenges conventional thinking about success and failure. Ratna, once an unremarkable student, transforms into a successful businesswoman after realizing her timid husband would always defer to his domineering mother. She becomes economically independent by starting a home stitching business that expanded to leather goods and later condiments. Her secret? "Work for the customer's satisfaction, not your satisfaction" and learn from mistakes-simple principles that many sophisticated business theories ultimately distill to. These stories remind us that wisdom isn't confined to the educated, wealthy, or powerful. It emerges from lived experience, reflection, and the courage to face life's challenges with integrity. The tribal elder, the flower vendor, the teenage son, and the enterprising homemaker all offer insights that sophisticated experts might miss-demonstrating that if we listen carefully to the voices often overlooked in our status-conscious world, we might discover the most profound truths about what it means to live well.

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