Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession Summary, PDF, EPUB, Audio

Q: What is *Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession* about?

*Unrequited* examines one-sided romantic obsession through psychological, cultural, and historical lenses, blending memoir, case studies, and research. Lisa A. Phillips critiques societal perceptions of women’s obsessive love, exploring its roots in brain chemistry, gendered double standards, and literary tropes while offering insights into healing.

Q: What are the main themes in *Unrequited*?

- **Societal double standards**: How women’s romantic pursuit is pathologized vs. men’s. - **Brain science**: The role of dopamine and reward systems in obsession. - **Literary parallels**: From *Twelfth Night* to modern media, framing obsession as tragic or transformative. - **Healing pathways**: Strategies to reframe obsession into personal growth.

Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession

Lisa A. Phillips

3.77 (466 Reviews)

Psychology

Self-growth

Society

Relationship

Overview

Key Takeaways

Author

FAQs

Unrequited love drives women to obsession - Lisa Phillips courageously explores this taboo through personal stories and cultural analysis. Featured in Psychology Today and NPR, this book validates the silent suffering millions experience. What dangerous line separates devotion from destruction?

What is Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession about?

Unrequited examines one-sided romantic obsession through psychological, cultural, and historical lenses, blending memoir, case studies, and research. Lisa A. Phillips critiques societal perceptions of women’s obsessive love, exploring its roots in brain chemistry, gendered double standards, and literary tropes while offering insights into healing.

Who should read Unrequited?

This book suits readers interested in psychology, gender studies, or relationship dynamics, as well as individuals navigating unrequited feelings. Mental health professionals and educators will find its analysis of obsession’s societal implications valuable for discussions on gender norms and emotional health.

Is Unrequited worth reading?

Yes, for its thorough exploration of romantic obsession’s complexities. While some critics note its broad scope limits depth, it remains a compelling resource for understanding obsession’s psychological mechanisms and cultural context, particularly regarding women’s experiences.

What are the main themes in Unrequited?

Societal double standards: How women’s romantic pursuit is pathologized vs. men’s.
Brain science: The role of dopamine and reward systems in obsession.
Literary parallels: From Twelfth Night to modern media, framing obsession as tragic or transformative.
Healing pathways: Strategies to reframe obsession into personal growth.

How does Lisa A. Phillips use case studies in Unrequited?

Phillips interweaves interviews with women and their obsessions, revealing patterns like idealization, rejection trauma, and boundary-crossing. These narratives humanize the science, illustrating how societal pressures amplify emotional turmoil.

What critiques exist about Unrequited?

Some reviewers argue the book’s wide-ranging approach—covering history, literature, psychology, and self-help—results in surface-level analysis rather than deep dives. However, this breadth makes it accessible to general readers.

How does Unrequited address gender in romantic obsession?

Phillips highlights societal biases: women’s obsession is often dismissed as “craziness,” while men’s similar behavior is normalized. She ties this to historic stereotypes (e.g., “hysterical” women) and modern media tropes.

What practical advice does Unrequited offer?

The book suggests reframing obsession into self-reflection, setting boundaries, and seeking therapy. Phillips emphasizes acknowledging pain without letting it define self-worth, advocating for emotional resilience over fixation.

How does Unrequited compare to other books on love and psychology?

Unlike clinical guides, Unrequited blends memoir, cultural critique, and science, focusing specifically on women’s experiences. It complements works like Attached but stands out for its gendered analysis.

What quotes from Unrequited resonate with readers?

“Romantic obsession is a mirror, reflecting what we fear we lack.”
“Society forgives a man’s persistence but condemns a woman’s as desperation.”
These lines underscore the book’s exploration of identity and societal judgment.

How does Lisa A. Phillips’ background influence Unrequited?

As a journalist and educator, Phillips combines rigorous research with narrative storytelling. Her public radio experience shines in the book’s interview-driven structure, adding authenticity to case studies.

Why is Unrequited relevant in 2025?

In an era of social media and dating apps, the book’s insights into digital-age obsession (e.g., cyberstalking, idealized online personas) remain timely. It also addresses evolving conversations about consent and emotional health.

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Key takeaways

Introduction

00:00

I never expected to become an expert on unrequited love. But life has a way of steering us down unexpected paths, doesn't it? My journey began with my own experience of romantic obsession in my early 30s. I fell desperately in love with a man who didn't return my feelings. My infatuation spiraled out of control, leading me to behaviors I'm not proud of - following him, calling incessantly, even sneaking into his apartment building. It was a dark, painful time that left me feeling ashamed and confused. But as I emerged from that experience and began to heal, I realized I wasn't alone. So many of us have felt the anguish of loving someone who doesn't love us back. I became fascinated by the psychology behind unrequited love and obsession. Why do some of us react so intensely to rejection? What drives us to keep pursuing someone who clearly isn't interested? These questions led me on a years-long exploration, diving into research, interviewing experts, and talking to many others who have experienced the pain of one-sided love. The result is this book - an examination of unrequited love through a feminine lens, looking at how women in particular experience and express romantic obsession.

The Universality of Unrequited Love

The Biology of Obsessive Love

The Thin Line Between Love and Obsession

The Creative Power of Unrequited Love

Moving Forward: Healing from Unrequited Love

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"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

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"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

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"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

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@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

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@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

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