Chapter 4
Programming Your Mind for Success
The first step to becoming a business owner is adopting a business owner's mindset. Just as you can't understand a child's needs without spending time with children, you need exposure to business owners to develop the right mentality. Since successful entrepreneurs are busy, immerse yourself in their world through books, podcasts, YouTube videos, and shows like Shark Tank to understand how they think and communicate.
As an entrepreneur, shift from a problem mindset to a challenge mindset. In traditional jobs, you bring problems to bosses, but business owners must find their own solutions. Simply reframing "problems" as "challenges" opens your thinking to possibilities rather than obstacles. While a problem mindset identifies barriers ("I don't have time to work out"), a challenge mindset asks solution-oriented questions ("Can I get up earlier?" or "What workouts require no equipment?").
The Be-Do-Have model transformed Rachel's approach to success. Most people focus on what they want to have, but this model teaches starting with who you want to be. First, imagine the person you want to become in full detail. Second, identify what that person would do. Finally, determine what you want to have. By being a confident person first, you start doing what confident people do, which leads to having the opportunities confident people experience.
Visualization is crucial for decision-making and goal-setting. At every crossroads, close your eyes and imagine what your best self would do. This practice takes just seconds and works best when done right after waking or before sleeping. Once you have your vision, write it down as an intention statement like "I help thousands of women love their bodies" or "I empower families through time-saving strategies." Rachel's own 2015 vision board included goals like leaving her 9-to-5 job, making $100,000, getting featured in major media, and writing a book. Though she had no idea how to achieve these dreams, by focusing on them daily, she had 10 clients and replaced her income within six months.
Your vision will evolve as you move through different seasons of life and business. Just as distinct weather seasons require different clothing and behaviors, business seasons vary in pace and intensity. Some periods demand more activity while others allow for rest. Recognizing your current season helps you adjust your expectations and avoid burnout. Not every season can be a sprint-life is a marathon that requires sustainable pacing.
Chapter 5
Hustle Culture vs. Hard Work: Finding Balance
Business advice can be overwhelming, with entrepreneurs promoting extreme productivity methods like creating 100 content pieces daily or working around the clock. While these approaches can work, seeing only the results without the behind-the-scenes struggles creates unrealistic expectations. There's an important distinction between hard work (focused, predetermined actions toward specific goals) and hustle (unfocused work driven by fear). Hustle culture stems from anxiety that everything could disappear, while healthy business building comes from recognizing your inherent worth.
The consequences of hustle culture can be severe: exhaustion, damaged relationships, family neglect, shame, and burnout. The only time Rachel recommends limited hustle is when first starting out, but even then, always preserve time for yourself and loved ones.
To avoid hustle in favor of productive hard work, focus on strategies that maintain focus without overwhelming yourself:
1. Break things down into manageable tasks. When faced with overwhelming to-do lists, taking life 10 seconds at a time makes even the most intimidating goals approachable. Rachel developed the Power 10 approach: 3 dailies (content creation), 3 priorities (working ON your business), 3 commitments (meetings/deadlines), and 1 money-generating activity.
2. Embrace productive sprints. Though the average worker only puts in 2-3 productive hours in an 8-hour day, entrepreneurs can maximize productivity through focused sprints. Before sprinting, identify your priorities; give your sprint a motivating name; play focus-enhancing music; turn off all notifications; and afterward, reflect on how you feel.
3. Find deadline flexibility where you can. Meeting deadlines shows commitment and affects what you can charge, but give yourself grace when you miss one. Create a deadline hierarchy: client deliverables are non-negotiable, while self-imposed deadlines can shift.
4. Remember that it's not a competition. Society conditions us to believe someone else is always doing better, creating pressure to hustle. Your business should support your unique vision for life, not someone else's.
5. Pace yourself. Treat your work like a marathon, not a constant sprint. Set reasonable goals that leave room for life outside work. Not every business season can be intense.
6. Be aware of the highlight reel. Social media shows carefully curated highlights, not the blood, sweat, tears or closet-crying moments of entrepreneurship. Don't waste time comparing yourself to these polished snapshots.
7. Remember you are more than your business. When Rachel examined what mattered beyond courses, clients, and revenue, everything clicked: "I don't need to do anything to be worthy of love and acceptance."
8. Keep track of changing seasons. Your business needs and priorities change throughout the year. Some periods bring customer influxes, while others require slowing down for family commitments. The key is remembering that seasons are temporary.
Chapter 6
Finding Pockets of Possibility in a Busy Life
Starting a business is daunting when nearly half fail within five years. While searching for success formulas, Rachel found advice ranging from obvious ("do the work!") to bizarre (micro-dosing LSD for ideas), but most seemed written by people without childcare responsibilities. The advice was impractical: grinding at 5am (when her kids didn't sleep until 10), eating like a "million-dollar racehorse" (while surviving on leftover mac-n-cheese), or creating elaborate morning routines (when showers were a luxury).
Despite appearing positive and put-together, Rachel has battled depression and anxiety since age 11. Growing up when mental health wasn't discussed openly, her condition was an all-encompassing fog that never lifted. Like many, she attempted to numb her depression with alcohol starting at 18, eventually drinking morning, noon, and night-hiding whiskey in closets and drinking at work. Her breaking point came when she tried not drinking one day at work and experienced severe withdrawal symptoms. Getting sober was one of her best decisions, along with finding healthy coping mechanisms like avoiding sleeping in, exercising, journaling without judgment, and staying hydrated.
Rachel believes you can build a successful business with just one hour per day through what she calls "pockets of possibility"-small windows of time where you can work with intention. She built her business in spare moments-mornings before kids woke up, during nap times, evenings when the house was quiet, and lunch breaks. It's about finding manageable tasks that fit into these pockets, whether they're 5-minute tasks (like proofreading emails or following up with leads), 10-minute tasks (recording marketing videos or pitching prospects), or 30-minute tasks (recording podcasts or creating content). If you wait for life to make entrepreneurship convenient, you'll wait forever. You must carve out these pockets of possibility and act on them-because sometimes that's all we get.
Chapter 7
Taking the Leap: From Side Hustle to Full-Time Business
The day Rachel replaced her husband Poul's income from his 9-to-5 job was terrifying-she had an absolute breakdown, driving to his workplace begging him to tell them he didn't really mean to quit. The pressure of suddenly generating all their family's revenue felt overwhelming. Her fear was justified; just after leaving her full-time job in 2016, she immediately lost nearly $2,000 monthly when her biggest client canceled their contract. With zero savings and no safety net, her social media business had to work.
Taking a leap of faith is naturally frightening-you'll be paralyzed by "what-ifs" about losing clients or finding healthcare. Setting clear goals helps determine when you're ready to jump. It's okay to be afraid, but don't let fear control you. After jumping, you'll inevitably hit obstacles, which is when leaning on your support system becomes crucial.
Rachel has kept a journal since age 11, making it her safe space to process emotions without judgment or feedback. Unlike therapy (which she values), journaling offers complete privacy to vent frustrations, celebrate wins, and document your entrepreneurial journey. When fear and doubt kick in, your journal becomes your best friend. Writing down feelings, whether rational or not, helps identify solutions and create order.
After losing her major client, Rachel did what any rational person would do-she cried, then channeled her emotions into writing a children's book on printer paper. She wrote to comfort the scared, doubting little girl inside her, hanging the pages across their dining room walls. In her darkest moment, she fell back on writing for comfort and realized she was capable of accomplishing things and had an important message to share. Dreams aren't accidents-they're natural extensions of who we are. Sometimes dreams get demolished, but that's part of the process, teaching valuable lessons about pivoting. Often the best lessons come after big failures, helping you discover what's truly important and guiding you to become who you need to be.
Chapter 8
Social Media Strategy: Beyond Platforms and Algorithms
On February 4, 2016, Rachel posted a simple Facebook message about her small wedding ring, responding to those who suggested she "upgrade" it to reflect her success level. She explained that her ring symbolized their whirlwind love story-how her window-washer husband and she, a single mother, met at a Perkins diner and fell in love in one night. That post unexpectedly went viral, reaching 11.3 million people and being featured in Cosmopolitan, Daily Mail, Huffington Post, and NBC's Today show.
This experience taught her that social media is unpredictable-posts that go viral often do so by luck, and what works on one platform might fail on another. Algorithms constantly change, affecting post visibility, while user preferences shift weekly with trends. The key is focusing on evergreen strategies rather than specific platforms, following the principle: "If you know the process, the platform doesn't matter."
When choosing social media platforms, follow three key guidelines: First, limit yourself to 1-3 platforms to avoid burnout-you can't be everywhere at once. Eventually diversify your presence since platforms can disappear overnight (remember Vine?). Second, prioritize long-term platforms where content has staying power rather than disappearing after 24 hours. Third, choose searchable platforms like Pinterest, YouTube, and TikTok that allow people to discover your content through keyword searches.
Different content types offer varying benefits: Text-driven platforms allow faster content creation but can feel anonymous and make connection difficult. Photos add little advantage over text-only content while still exposing you to appearance-based criticism. Video content, though time-consuming and vulnerable, offers the most authentic connection by building parasocial relationships with viewers-activating the same brain regions as meeting friends. Rachel now has all clients record video first in their social media strategies, which has helped one client get purchases for "dollars on the thousands" and another 10x their business in a year.
When selecting usernames for your social media accounts, use the same handle across all platforms for consistency. Verify availability on all platforms using tools like Namechk.com, and reserve your handle everywhere even if you're not using those platforms yet. Ensure your handle is memorable, easy to spell, and pronounce.
Chapter 9
Creating Content That Connects and Converts
Content serves as a movie trailer for your brand, giving people a sense of your vibe and building trust, especially for personal brands. Successful content resonates with your dream audience through authenticity-write in your natural speaking voice rather than trying to be someone else.
Beyond authenticity, successful content requires consistency in tone and posting schedule, unified branding elements (colors and typefaces), studying what works in your industry without outright copying, reading books for inspiration, and embracing keywords to understand what your audience is searching for. The key is creating content that feels like a natural extension of yourself while testing different formats to see what resonates with your audience.
Rather than focusing on what you love about your brand, shift to understanding what your customers need. Rachel approaches marketing by serving people first-imagining the person she's trying to reach as someone she deeply cares about who needs answers quickly. Find the right content-volume balance (she uses maintenance mode at one post daily, growth mode at 2-5 posts daily, and sprint mode at 10+ posts daily), identify pain points and problems your audience faces, connect deeply with early engagers who support you, and most importantly, create in your unique voice. When Rachel stopped trying to be polished and allowed herself to be vulnerable or goofy on social media, her business actually grew-Dean Graziosi's team hired her specifically because of her authentic TikToks, not despite them.
Once you've established your social media presence, content direction, and voice, growth requires ongoing adaptation as platforms evolve and trends emerge. Consistency is key-create something valuable daily, even if small, as you never know who might see it. Consider paid advertising only after you have a converting offer, weighing pros (quick scaling, fast learning, reaching new audiences, unlimited expansion) against cons (potential unpreparedness, expensive learning curve, targeting wrong audiences, costs exceeding returns). Include appropriate calls to action to guide your audience without being pushy. Schedule weekly check-ins to analyze what's working, study successful content in your field, and look for patterns in viral posts.
If your social media strategy falters, first list all potential reasons why-sometimes writing reveals immediate fixes. Bring in fresh eyes from coaches, mentors or successful colleagues. Maintain realistic expectations-if one platform isn't yielding results, consider pivoting elsewhere. Remember that success often comes through small wins building over time, not linear growth. The reality is growth typically happens minimally at first, then jumps sharply. Don't be afraid to pivot to plans B, C, D or E when needed.
Chapter 10
Business-by-Design: Creating Sustainable Success
In her early business years, Rachel worked 100+ hours weekly, responded to clients instantly, drank 20 cups of coffee daily, and neglected everything but work. Despite hitting million-dollar milestones, she was breaking down daily, straining all relationships, and physically deteriorating. She realized this pace wasn't sustainable, so she developed her business-by-design approach-creating boundaries in a world of constant demands and shifting priorities.
Business-by-design helps you prepare for the unexpected-new clients, viral posts, constant notifications-rather than being caught off guard. Success starts with knowing why you're running your business, which might evolve from basic needs to deeper purpose. Budget your time and finances intentionally-Rachel learned this lesson the hard way when suddenly earning millions but spending faster than she made it, sometimes scrambling to make payroll. Establish clear work/life divisions with consistent office hours and communication boundaries. Streamline client communication to one or two channels maximum, and create detailed how-we-work documents that outline availability, emergency protocols, and response times. Most importantly, enforce your boundaries 100% of the time-just like giving in to a child's repeated requests teaches persistence, inconsistently enforcing business boundaries teaches clients to ignore them.
At her lowest point, crying on the bathroom floor during a late-night coding session, Rachel recalled Stephen Covey's Big Rocks theory: imagine fitting big rocks, pebbles, sand and water into a vase. If you start with water or sand, you'll never fit the larger elements. The lesson is about prioritizing what truly matters first-your big rocks represent what's most important in your life, whether family, health, faith, or other priorities. Only by placing these elements first can everything else fit around them.
Without big rocks, there's no way to fit everything else into our lives. The theory helped Rachel realize she doesn't need to do everything-she can't do everything-and working constantly comes at the expense of sanity and health. To create a business-by-design plan, first develop a life blueprint by asking fundamental questions: What do you want your life to look like? Do you want work-free weekends? Family dinners? If your business design doesn't align with your life design, you've either chosen the wrong business or created the wrong life plan.
Chapter 11
Setting Boundaries That Set You Free
Boundaries are crucial for maintaining healthy relationships with clients and your business. Without them, you may grow to detest your work entirely. Like a fence protecting your yard, boundaries direct people's behavior, though they're much harder to maintain than to ignore, especially in digital communications where people often expect 24/7 access.
Three types of people typically break boundaries: Red Flag Raymonds who deliberately disregard limits for their own gain; Eager Earls who violate boundaries unintentionally out of excitement or nervousness; and Frantic Fannys who constantly check in due to past trauma and fear. Each requires different handling-avoid Raymonds entirely, gently coach Earls, and provide calm reassurance to Fannys.
To prevent boundary-breakers from derailing your business, establish clear guidelines about client communication channels and timing. Rachel learned this the hard way when a client called on Thanksgiving demanding an immediate Black Friday campaign. Now she clearly defines communication expectations upfront, including what constitutes a genuine emergency. She also insists on mutual respect through "preframing"-explaining her direct communication style while making it clear disrespect isn't tolerated. When clients respect your boundaries, they often view you as more professional and valuable.
Scope creep occurs when clients request services outside their contract. While it's important to deliver great service, you should be compensated fairly for additional work. When clients request something beyond scope, respond with, "I'd love to do that for you. Here's the invoice for what that would look like." Nine times out of ten, they'll accept the proposal. For demanding clients who insist on immediate action, match their intensity: "I will do it as soon as you pay the invoice." Strong demands require stronger boundaries.
As someone who struggles with confrontation, Rachel has learned not to have difficult conversations while in panic mode. Instead, step back, journal your feelings, clarify what you want to communicate, let your nervous system calm down, and return to the conversation with a clear plan when you're emotionally regulated.
There's a trade-off to everything in life-every yes is a no to something else. When juggling business and personal lives, you must decide what's worth keeping and what to set aside. Setting boundaries-even with yourself-is necessary because you simply cannot do everything simultaneously.
Clients are people you're bartering with for your dreams and goals-trading your time and expertise for financial investment. Rachel has learned to practice extreme gratitude for clients, recognizing they're giving her the ability to build the life she's always wanted. When you switch to an attitude of gratitude, clients stay longer and you attract more business. People and money go where they're appreciated.
Chapter 12
Building Your Support System: You Can't Do It Alone
You can't build a business alone-developing a trusted network is essential. A support system offers recommendations, helps with client leads, and shoulders the load when things get tough. Whether it's your spouse, partner, friend, assistant, or business colleague, we all need support. Even with a small network, just one to three focused and available support people can get you back on course when challenges arise.
Peers aren't just friends or people in your age group, but those who understand your industry or walk a similar path. Rachel has a group of fellow business-owning girlfriends who message daily to support each other and help solve problems. One friend helped her identify what she wanted to achieve with business events, leading her to create workshops and masterminds focused on education rather than exhausting, expensive alternatives.
Partners provide crucial support. No matter how rough things have been in Rachel's business, her husband Poul has supported her. He sees her as her best self and highest-potential self all the time, focusing on what truly matters. He reminds her that internal change, not external, is what makes things happen. He's her best friend, her home-the place where she can truly be herself without worry.
Sometimes support comes from unexpected places. After Poul, Jeannie and John Buttolph were the first to believe in Rachel's vision. It began when Jeannie came to her for hair coloring and they started talking about social media. They hired her as a marketing consultant for their Mrs. Winner's Chicken franchise, her first real clients. They introduced her to industry professionals, taught her business skills, and constantly reinforced that she could achieve more. Their unwavering belief was love in action that changed her trajectory forever.
A mentor guides you through personal and professional questions, offering proven solutions from their experience. Finding someone who's successfully walked your desired path is invaluable. Good mentors provide encouragement, constructive criticism, and help troubleshoot issues to fast-track your success. Before engaging with a mentor, you need clarity on your own goals-mentors can't define your vision for you.
When hiring a mentor isn't possible, embrace "mentoring from afar." Watch YouTube interviews of successful people, read their books and blogs, and study everything they share. This gives you insights into their expertise and methods before committing financially. Find a mentor who understands your desired path to success-someone who has achieved what you want or helped others do the same. A good mentor functions like a GPS, familiar with the journey's potholes and detours.
There are four effective mentor types: The cheerleader who makes you feel capable and fights negative voices; the drill instructor who delivers harsh truths; the rare motivational sage who asks questions to help you discover your own answers; and the true leader who forges a similar path to yours, making it easier for you to follow while keeping your best interests in mind.
Chapter 13
Embracing Your Authentic Self in Business
Rachel grew up with inspirational posters about dreaming big while being yourself. As a child, she embraced her individuality through wild outfits and boundless imagination. But gradually, she learned that success seemed to require conformity-getting degrees, climbing corporate ladders, and making decisions based on fear rather than passion. She was taught to hide her true self, look perfect, and say what others wanted to hear. This conditioning led her to become a "crusty professional" in her career-abandoning her bubbly personality, wearing blazers she hated, and dulling her natural sparkle to appear more "professional."
Her fear of being labeled "unprofessional" made her change everything about herself. She stopped using exclamation points, got plain manicures, changed her speech patterns, and lost her natural goofiness. This transformation made her fall out of love with marketing and business. The standard of "professionalism" was built by white men, creating a narrow mold that stifles creativity and excludes diverse talent.
Many people start businesses precisely to escape restrictive corporate environments that don't value nontraditional backgrounds. Rachel's best hiring decision came from an unexpected source-her husband Poul, a high school dropout with a GED who had worked as a window washer and later as a service writer for Mini Cooper. Despite his unconventional resume, when she was pregnant, overwhelmed, and working 100-hour weeks, Poul stepped in to handle hiring, firing, finances, payroll, events, and negotiations. His brilliance in managing these aspects freed her to focus on creative work like writing and video creation-proving that traditional credentials often fail to reveal someone's true capabilities.
After years of hiding her true self from clients, Rachel had a revelation while watching Legally Blonde with her husband. She sobbed through the movie, realizing Elle Woods proved you could be smart, bubbly and wear pink! She'd forgotten that we win most when we're unapologetically ourselves-people sense disconnects between true selves and pretense. After rediscovering her strengths-intelligence, quick learning, genuine connection with people-she embraced her authentic self. She got a rainbow manicure and platinum hair before consulting with a major client, wore fun outfits, told silly stories, and they hired her precisely because she was being herself.
Chapter 14
The Reality of Entrepreneurship: Truths No One Tells You
Growing a business isn't about magical manifestation-it's about consistent hard work and discipline. Success rarely happens overnight; instead, it builds gradually through persistent effort. Even when things go wrong, successful people just keep going. Rachel's YouTube milestone of 100,000 subscribers didn't come from viral hits but from years of consistently producing content.
When you start as a solopreneur, revenue feels exciting because it's almost all profit. But as you scale to multiple six figures, expenses add up quickly: payroll, insurance, business costs, and travel. Most revenue goes back into the company, not your pocket. As entrepreneurs, we work with accountants to navigate finances and taxes-Rachel's CEO salary is actually under $100,000, as is her husband's COO salary.
The phrase "it's lonely at the top" exists for a reason. As you become more successful, you'll likely outgrow some friendships. Your priorities shift, you notice negativity you didn't see before, or sometimes friends leave because your success intimidates them. While this natural evolution can be painful, it creates space for new relationships that align with your growth.
The glamorous parts of business-meeting millionaires, traveling, speaking on stage-are rare treats. Most days involve repetitive tasks and grinding out content. Rachel copes by romanticizing the boring work (imagining she's Carrie Bradshaw while writing emails) and remembering that legends became successful by doing things others weren't willing to do.
Despite being immersed in social media, Rachel wasn't prepared for how cruel people can be. Not constructive criticism, but nasty, negative comments that will blow your mind. She's learned these mean people treat everyone this way-they don't even like themselves! Accept that some people won't like you regardless of what you do, and live boldly in your own authentic way instead of toning yourself down for others.
You can't outwork a negative mindset long-term. Fighting your own negativity will eventually damage your wellbeing. Invest time and money into training your mind through meditation, mindfulness, visualization, positive self-talk, and affirmations-just as you would exercise your body.
With priorities like family, faith, and business, there's not much time for hobbies. Rachel takes evenings and weekends off for family time, but doesn't have time for activities like painting or gardening. She knows there will be time for hobbies later when her kids are grown.
Once basic needs are met, more money doesn't equal more happiness. However, money can solve problems and make life easier by buying therapy, books, healers, retreats, mentors, and even buying back your time.
Discovering that your to-do list will never end can actually be a relief. Everyone has unfinished lists-it's impossible to complete everything every day. Remember that your standards for yourself are likely much higher than others' expectations of you.
As a child, Rachel dreamed of becoming a performer and traveling the world. Though she's not a good singer, her business allows her to speak on stages, connect with world-changers, meet business idols, and interview heroes like author Robert Greene. Success also enables her to help friends and family financially without hesitation.
Business problems illuminate aspects of your character: how you show up, lead, and areas where you need to grow. Years ago, rudeness at the post office would upset Rachel for a day; now she can handle difficult conversations without emotional overwhelm. She wouldn't have achieved a fraction of her personal growth without her business pushing her to become her best self.
Setting your own schedule is both blessing and curse-you may work more than you would for an employer, but nobody can fire you or dictate your hours. You decide when to work and when to take time off. This flexibility makes entrepreneurship worthwhile.
