Chapter 9
The Beginning That Never Ends
"And the Earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep." - Genesis 1:2
This morning, the eyes opened, and there was a world. Incarnation. Spirit made flesh. Something new under the sun, something that had never been there before. A world thrown out of the void, something emerged from nothing. A room. Curtains, books, feet dangling off the edge of the bed.
The duvet was thrown off, and a body appeared: the first body, the first man, Adam himself. A miracle had occurred! Creation ex nihilo! The body moved, first to eat breakfast, then to wash itself, then to the door.
Outside, a bitter wind. I boarded a bus, though there was no I, and no bus. On the bus, others like me! Arms and legs and torsos and heads with funny little scrunched-up faces. My brothers and sisters! We were all one, which is to say, there was nobody on that bus, nobody at all. And yet, all those bodies were undeniably there.
In the town center, humanity throbbed. Thousands of people in shops, at bus stops, on benches. Lovers embracing, couples quarrelling, children playing. What were these creatures? And how was it possible I had woken up as one of them?
The vastness annihilates me. It literally destroys me. Walking through these empty streets, the vastness consumes everything-every thought, every sensation. Yet the vastness is not separate from what appears: the glow of street lamps, shadows of lovers walking arm-in-arm, rumble of night buses. The secret reveals itself: I am nowhere to be found, and yet I am everywhere. I am nothing, and yet one with all things, because there are no 'things' at all.
I am dwarfed by the vastness, made totally insignificant by the smallest detail: by cracks in the pavement, by the flicker of a street lamp, by a dog barking. Every little thing puts an end to me.
The eyes dart about, and with each movement there is a new world. Nothing is the same from one moment to the next-which is to say, there are no 'moments' at all. Only this, only the utterly obvious revealing itself now, now and now.
Now the day fades away, and there is silence. And everything that has arisen from the silence will fall back into the silence. And I am nowhere to be found.
Yet there is typing of these words. And there are sounds, too: the hum of the computer fan, the boiler clicking and whooshing, my flatmate treading on the floorboards, the sound of cars outside. And tingles in the body, and the thump-thump of the heart, and everything else that pretends to be a world.
If the world is anywhere, it is here, right here in this room. Although it's not really a 'room' at all: it's the entire universe in its fullness. Why do we have to lie and call it a 'room'? That makes it sound so small, so insignificant. But it is totally significant, because it is quite literally all there is!
The eyes open. Again, the miracle: a world appears out of the void. A pointless world, a purposeless world, and yet still it appears!
The search is over: this present moment is the Answer of all Answers. The spiritual search, the search of a lifetime, is no more.
Nothing more needs to be done.
Well, that's not true at all.
There is lots to do: get up, shower, make breakfast, read the paper, go for a walk, meet up with friends. Chop wood and carry water.
Nothing to do, and yet an entire world presents itself now, now and now; a world full of riches, just waiting to be discovered! And yes, it may just be an apparent world, but non-duality is not about denying the appearance. Who would deny it?
And so go, play, play in the appearance, play like a child in the Kingdom of Heaven! Live your life, explore its richness and its intimacy... even though it is just an apparent life, even though you swim in a sea of nothingness, even though it's all an illusion with nobody there at the centre of it all.
The only meaning of life is this moment.
The secret is embracing life fully in its transience. To love fiercely even knowing everyone will die. To move through this beautiful, fragile world meeting yourself in a thousand places. To insist on life despite knowing every experience fades to nothingness. In this paradox lies the ultimate truth-that the only meaning we can find exists right here, right now, in this very moment.
