The Other Significant Others by Rhaina Cohen Summary

The Other Significant Others redefines commitment by exploring deep platonic partnerships that rival romantic relationships in emotional depth and longevity. Rhaina Cohen combines historical analysis, modern case studies, and cultural criticism to challenge society's obsession with marital bonds, featuring examples like sworn sibling ceremonies and cohabiting friends who share finances and parenting duties.

This book resonates with readers interested in relationship diversity, sociology, or feminist literature. It’s particularly valuable for those questioning traditional family structures, LGBTQ+ advocates exploring chosen family models, and anyone seeking narratives about profound non-romantic bonds. Cohen’s NPR storytelling background makes it appealing to public radio listeners and social science enthusiasts.

Yes—Publishers Weekly calls it an "illuminating debut" that offers a "smart and heartfelt testament" to non-romantic bonds. The book was named a 2020 best article by Longreads, endorsed by New York Times bestselling authors, and praised for its blend of rigorous research and intimate storytelling about friendship’s transformative power.

Cohen argues that Western societies disproportionately valorize romantic relationships, marginalizing friendships that provide equal emotional sustenance. She highlights historical precedents like Renaissance-era sworn brotherhoods and presents modern examples of friends co-parenting or sharing homes for decades to demonstrate alternatives to "compulsory coupledom".

The book critiques legal/financial systems that privilege married couples through tax benefits and hospital visitation rights. Cohen advocates recognizing "platonic lifemates" in policies, citing cases where friends face barriers when trying to adopt children together or inherit shared property without romantic ties.

As a Marshall Scholar studying social policy and NPR producer covering relationship science, Cohen noticed systemic biases against non-romantic bonds. Her research on paternity leave policies and work on NPR’s Hidden Brain informed her examination of societal structures that undervalue friendship.

Key lines include:

• "Friendship is the only relationship that remains voluntary at its core"
• "We’ve built a world where romantic love is the sun, and other bonds are distant planets"
• "Legal marriage became life’s ultimate prize—and we’ve all lost the game"
  These encapsulate the book’s critique of relational hierarchy.

Some reviewers note the book focuses more on documenting existing platonic partnerships than providing actionable steps for systemic change. Others suggest Cohen could explore more deeply how race and class intersect with access to alternative relationship models.

With 36% of U.S. adults single and friend-based households rising 170% since 1990, the book helps navigate shifting social norms. It provides frameworks for millennials/gen Z redefining family structures amid rising loneliness epidemics and post-pandemic relationship reevaluations.

1. Society’s relationship hierarchy harms both singles and married people
2. Legal systems should recognize multiple "significant others" beyond spouses
3. Friendships require intentional nurturing to achieve lifelong depth
   These principles help readers rethink commitment across all relationships.

While both books validate friendship’s importance, Cohen’s work focuses on institutional/cultural barriers to recognizing non-romantic bonds, whereas Franco emphasizes individual friendship-building skills. The Other Significant Others offers more historical context and policy critiques, making it complementary to Franco’s psychological approach.

Readers report reevaluating wills to include friends, creating "friendship contracts" outlining care commitments, and feeling validated in prioritizing platonic bonds. Book clubs nationwide use its discussion guide to explore members’ own "significant other" relationships beyond romantic partnerships.