Taking Sexy Back by Alexandra H. Solomon Summary

Taking Sexy Back empowers readers to reclaim their sexuality by dismantling societal standards and fostering relational self-awareness. The book offers practical strategies to embrace body positivity, set boundaries, and cultivate authentic erotic expression. Grounded in psychology, it blends personal stories, exercises, and clinical insights to help individuals reconnect with their sensuality.

This book is ideal for vulva-bodied individuals or those socialized as feminine seeking to overcome shame, redefine sexuality, and prioritize pleasure. It resonates with young adults exploring their identity and older readers reclaiming their erotic selves. Therapists may also use it to guide clients in addressing body image or intimacy challenges.

Yes—Taking Sexy Back is praised for its actionable framework to confront societal conditioning and build confidence. Readers gain tools like reflective exercises, boundary-setting techniques, and mindfulness practices. Its blend of academic rigor and accessible storytelling makes it valuable for personal growth or clinical use.

Relational self-awareness (RSA) involves understanding how past experiences and societal norms shape one’s sexual identity. Dr. Solomon teaches readers to identify limiting beliefs, communicate needs, and foster intimacy through self-reflection. RSA serves as the foundation for healing and creating fulfilling relationships.

The book critiques narrow definitions of attractiveness and encourages readers to define “sexy” on their own terms. It provides exercises to challenge internalized messages from media, culture, and family, replacing them with self-compassion and body-neutral practices.

Key practices include journaling prompts to unpack sexual narratives, mindfulness meditations to reconnect with the body, and communication scripts for boundary-setting. A notable exercise involves mapping one’s “erotic blueprint” to identify sources of pleasure and discomfort.

Yes—Dr. Solomon guides readers to reframe self-critical thoughts and embrace their bodies as sites of agency rather than judgment. Techniques like sensory-focused grounding and affirmations help build acceptance, while case studies normalize diverse experiences.

Some note the book’s primary focus on cisgender women, which may limit relevance for nonbinary or male audiences. Others suggest deeper exploration of intersectional factors like race or disability could enhance its inclusivity.

Unlike prescriptive guides, Taking Sexy Back emphasizes internal transformation over external fixes. It complements works like Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski but uniquely integrates therapeutic frameworks with cultural critique.

Yes—the book’s exercises encourage dialogue about inherited sexual narratives. For example, mothers and daughters reading it together can challenge generational taboos and foster healthier attitudes toward pleasure.

A central theme is, “Your body is not a problem to be solved.” This mantra underscores the book’s mission to shift from self-objectification to self-celebration, empowering readers to own their desires unapologetically.

Amid ongoing debates about bodily autonomy and gender equity, the book’s message of self-determination remains vital. Its tools help navigate modern challenges like digital dating dynamics and the evolving discourse on consent.