Chapter 1
Unleashing Your Leadership Potential in a World That Underestimates You
Have you ever felt invisible in a meeting? Watched as your ideas were overlooked, only to be praised when repeated by someone else? You're not alone. In a world where less than 10 percent of leaders are women-with even fewer women of color-the path to leadership can seem impossibly steep. But what if the greatest barrier to your success isn't the glass ceiling everyone talks about, but rather that first "broken rung" on the leadership ladder?
Shelmina Abji knows this journey intimately. Growing up poor in Tanzania with a mother who married at 14 and had minimal education, she faced seemingly insurmountable odds. Yet she rose to become a senior executive at IBM, managing billion-dollar businesses while raising two children as a single mother. Her book "Show Your Worth" has become a leadership bible for women seeking to break through barriers, with endorsements from executives at companies like Microsoft, Netflix, and Marriott. The strategies she outlines aren't just theoretical-they're battle-tested approaches that have transformed careers across industries, cultures, and generations.
Chapter 2
Defining Success on Your Own Terms
Success without a personal definition is like a journey without a destination-you'll never know if you've arrived. The first and most crucial strategy for showing your worth is intentionally defining what success means to you. This definition serves as your internal compass, directing your choices and allowing you to rise as a leader on your own terms.
Success has plasticity-it should evolve as you do. Without intentionally defining it, you won't take the necessary steps to achieve it. While others' perspectives may be valuable, your definition must ultimately be yours alone, not dictated by external expectations.
Shelmina's journey illustrates this principle. In India, despite loneliness and language barriers, she persevered by focusing on her goal of lifting her family from poverty. When her mathematics degree didn't yield the financial stability she expected, she pivoted to computer science in America, arriving in Wisconsin with just $2,000. Despite initial struggles, including earning her first D grade, she worked 35-40 hours weekly while excelling academically.
After graduation, visa limitations made job hunting difficult, but she secured a position building supercomputers. When that company closed, she joined IBM, eventually becoming Rookie Systems Engineer of the Year. When she became pregnant, her success vision shifted to homeownership. She moved into sales to increase her income, bought a house before her daughter's birth, and achieved her dream of a backyard swing set.
Your definition of success must be deeply personal, aligned with core values, and ambitious enough to stretch your capabilities. It should include both professional goals (like leadership positions) and personal goals (like family support). Test your definition by ensuring it energizes you, has compelling "whys," remains clear, feels like a "want" rather than a "should," aligns with values, aims high, scares you a bit, grows your impact, and pushes you outside your comfort zone.
To maintain momentum, establish a weekly reflection time to look back, learn, course-correct, and celebrate small successes. Celebrating achievements is crucial for staying energized in pursuit of long-term goals. Honor your hard work by internalizing your success-there's no hubris in recognizing when your efforts have paid off.
Chapter 3
Mastering the Currency of Attention
While many focus on time management, attention is actually more valuable in our era of constant distractions. The second strategy for showing your worth is Intentional Attention-deliberately allocating your most limited and perishable asset. Success depends on where you direct your attention, as it determines your daily achievements and progress toward your vision.
Learning to say no is crucial for protecting your attention. When Shelmina joined IBM's sales team, she initially tried working on all 50 potential deals in her pipeline, creating an endless task list and working 60-hour weeks without meaningful progress. Her manager Keith taught her that success wasn't about working longer hours but about priorities-qualifying deals and focusing only on those with the highest probability of success.
His advice was transformative: "If you don't say no to what doesn't deserve your attention, you won't be able to say yes to what does." He emphasized being respected over being liked, noting that delivering results earns respect.
For many women, saying no is difficult due to desires to be liked, seen as collaborative, and avoid appearing selfish. However, saying no to what doesn't align with your priorities is necessary to deliver maximum business outcomes. The way you decline matters-your style, attitude, and word choice can either create unnecessary friction or maintain good relationships.
When you say no to what's unworthy of your time, you say yes to your priorities. Structure your days around your highest priorities, scheduling specific tasks and meetings required to make progress. This transforms you from busy to productive, making meaningful progress every business day.
Include five-minute breaks between tasks to decompress and reenergize-walking, breathing, centering yourself-so you can compartmentalize better, be fully present, and increase productivity. Allocate time for all necessary tasks by asking: "How much of my attention does this task deserve, and when?" For emails, consider allocating specific time blocks throughout the day, prioritizing urgent messages first.
Evaluate which tasks consume your attention by asking if they provide the best return for achieving business outcomes. Create win-win solutions that keep stakeholders informed while freeing up your time. Remember that you teach others to respect your time when you respect it yourself.
Chapter 4
Finding Balance in an Unbalanced World
The third strategy for showing your worth is Intentional Work-Life Balance-thriving both professionally and personally. Our jobs don't define us; we're also mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, volunteers, and caregivers, all roles that give meaning to our lives while competing for our limited attention and energy.
Before you can begin your journey to work-life balance, you must embrace three fundamental principles. First, believe balance is possible-your mindset determines your reality. Second, nurture and protect your inner well-being as your number one priority-your internal state affects everything from your energy levels to how you respond to situations. Third, create a narrative of learning for every challenge-view difficulties as opportunities to grow rather than problems that weigh you down.
Shelmina's personal life nearly destroyed her professional life eight months after her first promotion to sales leader when her husband left suddenly and unexpectedly. She was leading a team of 10 sales representatives with a $120 million sales target across seven Pacific Northwest states. Her daughter was four and her son was two. Her world collapsed overnight.
After five weeks of misery, she reached rock bottom during a team meeting where she couldn't even follow the discussion. That Friday night, after making her children cry and putting them to bed, she broke down completely around 2 a.m., crying for hours until she could cry no more. In that moment of stillness and darkness, she reconnected with her resilient self and heard a voice within saying, "You can do this." This became her turning point.
Three basic principles helped her achieve work-life balance: 1) Determine personal priorities and schedule them, 2) Set boundaries, and 3) Make intentional choices.
She created an Intentional Attention strategy for her hours outside work by determining her highest personal priorities and adding them to her Personal Success Plan, scheduling them far in advance. She set boundaries between work hours and nonwork hours, and within her personal time. Most days, she stopped working at 6 p.m.-everyone knew these were her boundaries. As a single mother, her time with children was equally important as work.
Making intentional choices-long term or short term, big or small-becomes easier when you know your priorities and understand the trade-offs. Each person has different circumstances and trade-offs, but as long as you make decisions with priorities in mind, your choices will be right for you.
Chapter 5
Creating Value That Can't Be Ignored
Your organizational worth directly correlates with the value you create-you're hired to create specific value, retain your position by delivering it, and advance when you exceed expectations. The fourth strategy for showing your worth is Intentional Value Creation, focusing on maximizing your impact in every interaction.
Many women face barriers that prevent them from creating value at maximum capacity. These barriers include feeling disconnected due to differences in race, gender, education level, or socioeconomic background. Many struggle with their "unders"-feeling underrepresented, undereducated, underprivileged, or underproficient. These perceptions cause us to undermine our capabilities, undervalue our opinions, and underestimate our worth.
Even after recognizing our capabilities, fear often prevents women from contributing value at maximum capacity. Common workplace fears include being judged, failing, not being liked, drawing negative attention, seeming overly ambitious, and disappointing others. By exercising your Power Quotient (PQ) to scan your mental chatter and choose courage, you'll gradually weaken fear's grip.
Past programming, often unconscious, can also prevent women from contributing maximum value. Many were taught that "girls are to be seen and not heard" or to conform rather than express different viewpoints. When we become conscious of our programming, we can recognize what isn't serving us and rewrite it.
Effective communication is crucial for creating value. No matter how brilliant your ideas are internally, if you can't articulate them clearly, you can't create value for others. Word choice can undermine your value creation. Many women inadvertently diminish their ideas with phrases like "I'm sorry, but..." or "I just wanted to say..." or "I'm no expert but..." How you express your idea determines how it's received.
Being interrupted while speaking is a common barrier for women. The effective approach is to remain calm, raise your voice slightly, ignore the interruption, and continue speaking. When necessary, looking the interrupter in the eye and firmly stating "Let me finish" establishes boundaries.
Your ability to create value directly correlates with the competences you apply in any situation. When your role aligns with your highest-value competences, your contribution soars. Collaboration multiplies your value creation potential-1 + 1 becomes greater than 2. To master collaboration, develop open-mindedness, intellectual curiosity, effective listening, effective communication, and cultural competence.
Your authenticity and uniqueness are superpowers for creating high value. What you might perceive as weaknesses could become recognized strengths. By leaning into your uniqueness, you create value that can't be easily replaced or replicated, leading to more opportunities and recognition.
Chapter 6
Growing Beyond Your Limitations
The fifth strategy for showing your worth is Intentional Growth. When you approach work with the intention of growing at your maximum capacity, daily incremental growth compounds over time to become transformational. Growth directly correlates with increased value creation and accelerates progress toward both short and long-term success visions.
Without intentional growth, you'll remain at your current level of value creation, limiting leadership potential. Every interaction offers dual opportunities: what you give (value creation) and what you get (personal growth). Growth often requires stepping outside your comfort zone, as illustrated by Shelmina's experience transitioning from hardware to services at IBM to pursue her executive ambitions.
Despite initial discomfort with unfamiliar terminology and team dynamics in her new role, she exercised her Power Quotient to shift from self-doubt to embracing the learning opportunity. Rather than rushing to prove herself, she focused on listening and learning before attempting to contribute value.
The most important benefit of stepping outside your comfort zone is discovering capabilities you never knew you had. The four steps to successfully step outside your comfort zone include: remembering you're not the voices in your head; asking for help when needed; owning the narrative of your experience; and either congratulating yourself or reframing failure as growth. Setbacks build resilience and are necessary for growth-the only real failure is giving up.
Beyond pushing outside your comfort zone, seek roles in high-growth sectors, actively seek and apply feedback, and commit to lifelong learning while being intentional about why, what, how, and when you learn-and most importantly, applying that knowledge rather than just accumulating it.
Chapter 7
Building Relationships That Elevate Your Career
The sixth strategy for showing your worth is Intentional Relationships. Building meaningful professional relationships makes career journeys more successful, fulfilling, and enjoyable. Without relationships, Shelmina wouldn't have become the executive leader she is today. Finding common ground with coworkers is essential, especially when no one in your workplace looks like you.
The single most important relationship of your career is with your immediate boss-it can make or break your career. Your boss influences every promotion, assignment, award, salary decision, and performance appraisal. While both parties are responsible for making the relationship work, you should proactively build this connection. Focus on creating a professional (not personal) relationship centered on mutual success at work.
What you think about your boss matters-your mental model of them shapes your interactions. Despite the importance of building a relationship with your boss, you ultimately control whether to keep working for them. If fundamental differences become impossible to overcome after your best efforts, you should look for another position within or outside your organization.
Peer relationships exist between equals at the same organizational level. These connections make day-to-day work more enjoyable and create a sense of belonging. Peers cover for you when needed, collaborate on projects, and may eventually become your mentors, bosses, or sponsors as careers advance.
Having the right mentors at the right time can significantly accelerate career success. A mentor lends expertise, inspires achievement, helps navigate career paths, offers fresh perspectives, builds confidence, makes connections, and teaches both hard business skills and soft skills. Before seeking a mentor, clarify your purpose. For emerging leaders, focus on finding mentors who can provide business expertise to help deliver higher-level value and develop leadership skills for future success.
A sponsor is an influential leader typically two levels higher than you who advocates for you in high-visibility assignments, promotions, or new jobs. They put their credibility on the line, so you must give them reasons to sponsor you. Having a sponsor raises your profile organization-wide, but these relationships are difficult to establish because sponsors are busy and in limited supply. While you might advance at lower levels without sponsorship, sponsors are crucial for executive positions.
Chapter 8
Crafting Your Leadership Brand
How you're known and who knows you become increasingly important as you advance in leadership. The seventh strategy for showing your worth is Intentional Leadership Branding-becoming recognized as a leader even before you have the official title. Your personal brand consists of your business expertise and personal attributes-it's your identity that plays a critical role at all stages of your career.
Many women believe leadership isn't for them because they don't see leaders who look like them or think leadership is reserved for those "born to lead." The author counters this misconception, asserting that leadership is a learned behavior. Taking initiative to improve any aspect of your life or helping others improve theirs demonstrates leadership.
Like companies that establish core purpose and unique value propositions, individuals must intentionally build leadership brands. When first promoted to sales leader, Shelmina initially took over client meetings as she would have as a sales representative, inadvertently creating a negative brand. After learning team members avoided bringing her to meetings, she intentionally changed her behavior-writing "Don't take over" on her palm as a reminder and visualizing herself as a leader before meetings.
Personal branding impacts current performance, job searches, and promotions. Many organizations use behavior-based interviewing to evaluate candidates' personal brands through questions revealing behavior in various situations. The visible top third represents resume qualifications (knowledge, skills, experience), while the hidden two-thirds represent personal attributes that distinguish stars from superstars.
Building a stellar personal brand takes years, but it can be quickly damaged without protection and vigilance. The key is recognizing when you're feeling out of sorts due to personal issues or workplace tensions, as these can negatively impact behavior. When agitated, pause and use your PQ to choose responses that reinforce your desired brand, especially around infrequent contacts who might influence your career.
As you rise in your career, you must evolve as a leader by developing new skills that reflect an "improved you" and enhance your leadership brand. Today's uncertain business landscape presents perfect opportunities to learn skills for navigating constant change-whether economic expansion or contraction, business growth or disruption.
Chapter 9
Positioning Yourself for Promotion
The final strategy for emerging as a leader is Intentional Promotion, which requires positioning oneself for consideration and actively pursuing well-deserved advancement. Women face unique challenges in promotion, including lack of visible female leadership models and discomfort with self-advocacy. Promotion isn't just personal achievement but creates pathways for other women, contributing to gender parity in leadership.
Before pursuing promotion, three prerequisites must be met. First, believe you deserve promotion-maintain the right mindset without letting self-limiting beliefs create doubt. Second, ensure an opportunity exists-preparation must meet opportunity, so position yourself where growth and promotional possibilities exist. Third, acknowledge and embrace pivots-as demonstrated by the author's own non-linear career path, including leaving IBM, starting her own company during the financial crisis, and eventually returning as Vice President.
To become the ideal promotion candidate, follow four key steps. First, master the previous seven strategies, treating each workday as an interview for your next promotion. Second, demonstrate leadership skills by seeking opportunities that showcase your capabilities to decision-makers. Third, openly share your leadership ambition with peers, managers, and executives so "She's ambitious" becomes part of your personal brand. Finally, engage mentors and connections who can help, asking them what you need to demonstrate, how they got promoted, and which leadership attributes helped them most.
The first promotion conversation with your boss is critical after you've established a leadership brand and consistently performed at a high level for 1-2 years. During this meeting, present concrete evidence of your value contributions, growth potential, and leadership attributes to demonstrate your readiness for advancement. Ask specific questions about promotion timing, decision criteria, process details, demonstration requirements, skill gaps, and key decision-makers.
Identify and cultivate relationships with all decision makers and influencers involved in your promotion process. Research who these people are, recognizing that influence doesn't always correlate with organizational level. For those you already know, schedule direct meetings; for others, seek introductions through mentors or sponsors.
Approach your promotion interview as the most important of your career. Deeply understand why you're the best candidate and cultivate gratitude for the opportunity to compete, which enhances confidence. Enter the interview with absolute confidence in your qualifications and an attitude of gratitude rather than entitlement.
When you achieve your promotion, celebrate meaningfully. Reflect on your journey and let your success sink in. As you begin your leadership role, strive to become the leader you wish you had, recognizing your amplified influence on team members' lives. Remember that as a woman in leadership, others are watching you-become an intentional role model and advocate for other women.
Chapter 10
Lifting Others as You Rise
Intentionally lifting other women not only transforms their lives but creates a powerful multiplier effect that enriches both the giver and receiver. When women in leadership positions actively share their experiences, insights, and lessons learned, they create a cascading effect of positive change that reverberates through organizations and across generations. Your visible success becomes a beacon of possibility for others, showing what can be achieved and providing a practical roadmap for those who follow.
Consider creating formal mentorship programs, participating in women's leadership networks, and establishing sponsorship relationships where you can advocate for talented women in your organization. Share not just your successes but also your setbacks and how you overcame them - these authentic stories often provide the most valuable learning opportunities. Make time to speak at women's conferences, contribute to professional forums, and write about your experiences to reach a broader audience.
Practical ways to lift others include:
• Offering specific introductions and recommendations
• Creating opportunities for visibility and presentation
• Sharing credit generously for collaborative achievements
• Providing honest feedback and constructive guidance
• Advocating for women in promotion discussions
• Supporting work-life balance initiatives
Remember that your influence extends beyond formal mentoring relationships. Junior colleagues observe how you handle challenges, negotiate, lead meetings, and balance competing demands. Every interaction becomes a teaching moment, whether intended or not. As Rumi wisely noted: "Every moment I shape my destiny with a chisel, I am a carpenter of my own soul."
Your leadership journey should create a lasting legacy that extends beyond personal achievement. By implementing these eight intentional strategies, you're not just advancing your own career - you're helping to dismantle systemic barriers and create sustainable change. This approach accelerates progress toward gender parity in leadership across all levels and industries.
Make lifting others a cornerstone of your leadership style by:
• Allocating specific time each month for mentoring activities
• Creating structured development programs for emerging women leaders
• Building networks that connect women across different career stages
• Championing policies that support women's advancement
• Measuring and celebrating the success of women you've supported
Remember that today's mentees become tomorrow's leaders, creating an endless cycle of positive change. Your investment in others' success ultimately strengthens the entire leadership ecosystem and accelerates the pace of progress toward genuine gender equality in leadership.
