Sex After . . . by Iris Krasnow Summary

Sex After… explores how women navigate shifts in sexual intimacy after major life events like divorce, illness, aging, or infidelity. Through raw, firsthand accounts, Iris Krasnow examines topics such as rebuilding confidence post-cancer, reentering dating after decades-long marriages, and adapting to midlife LGBTQ+ transitions. The book blends prescriptive advice with candid storytelling to address physical and emotional challenges.

Women over 40, caregivers, breast cancer survivors, and those navigating midlife relationship changes will find actionable insights. It’s particularly relevant for readers seeking honest perspectives on maintaining intimacy after childbirth, menopause, or traumatic events like PTSD. Therapists and sex counselors may also use it as a discussion tool.

Yes—it’s praised for its unflinching honesty and relatable narratives. Krasnow’s blend of journalistic rigor and empathetic storytelling offers practical strategies for reclaiming sexual agency. Unlike generic self-help guides, it provides diverse voices, including women who’ve faced adultery, disability, or late-life coming out.

The book features survivors discussing reconstructive surgery, body image, and communication tactics to rebuild confidence. One contributor shares how mastectomies reshaped her relationship with pleasure, while another details navigating PTSD-triggered avoidance. Krasnow emphasizes adapting rather than abandoning intimacy.

Women describe using apps like Tinder in their 50s, setting boundaries, and embracing casual encounters without shame. A key takeaway: Prioritize self-discovery over immediate commitment. One story highlights a widow who found empowerment through short-term relationships before remarrying.

Contributors openly discuss vaginal dryness, libido fluctuations, and societal stigma. Krasnow advocates for medical interventions (like hormone therapy) and emotional reframing, noting: “Menopause isn’t an endpoint—it’s a rebirth.” The book also examines how partners can adapt to these changes.

Yes. A chapter follows women who came out post-50, including a former pastor’s wife who left her marriage for a same-sex relationship. Krasnow highlights the tension between societal expectations and self-actualization, with therapists’ insights on managing family reactions.

Stories reveal betrayed spouses rebuilding trust through radical honesty and scheduled intimacy. One couple survived infidelity by attending kink workshops to reignite connection. Krasnow warns against “transactional forgiveness” without mutual effort.

It tackles Viagra dependency, open marriages in retirement communities, and women leaving sexless relationships. A polarizing account involves a 70-year-old who prioritizes solo pleasure over her husband’s needs, arguing: “My body, my rules.”

While Secret Lives focuses on marital longevity, Sex After… prioritizes sexual evolution. Both use ethnographic storytelling, but the latter is more prescriptive—offering exercises like “desire mapping” and communication scripts for difficult conversations.

Some reviewers note heteronormative biases, with fewer LGBTQ+ perspectives compared to cisgender stories. However, Krasnow’s inclusion of late-in-life coming out narratives partly addresses this gap.

It rejects one-size-fits-all metrics, advocating relationships where both partners feel seen—whether celibate, polyamorous, or monogamous. A hospice nurse’s story underscores intimacy as emotional presence, not just physical acts.