Chapter 4
Extraordinary Influence in Action
Volodymyr Zelensky exemplifies extraordinary influence against overwhelming odds. Once a comedian with waning support, he transformed into Ukraine's wartime leader who rallied not just his country but all of Europe against Russian invasion. His influence stems from his actions-staying in Ukraine despite danger, famously stating "I need ammunition, not a ride"-combined with powerful communication that touched millions.
His March 2021 speech to the European Parliament was so moving it brought the translator to tears as he spoke of Ukrainians "giving lives for rights, for freedom" and challenged Europeans: "Do prove that you are with us... life will win over death and light will win over darkness." His emotional appeal connected Ukraine's struggle to European values, prompting the Parliament president to pledge support against "Putin's war machine."
Persistence can overcome seemingly impossible odds in everyday situations. When Huijin first met Tsun-yan in 2008, she immediately recognized him as the mentor she needed to fulfill her calling in leadership development. Despite his initial rejection (he was retiring from McKinsey), she refused to give up, explaining she was "in stormy seas with barely a wooden plank" and needed his guidance. Her persistence and strategic thinking paid off, creating a partnership that would change both their futures.
Finding each person's unique motivational "key" is crucial for influence. When Ron needed to inspire a veteran sales executive nearing retirement, he discovered the man's passion for sailing and made an unconventional offer: "What if I bought you that dream sailboat from my own money, and you give your all in the next two years?" Despite HR objections, Ron understood what would truly motivate his sales chief. This personal insight proved correct-the executive performed exceptionally.
Our being inevitably expresses itself in our influence attempts, often contradicting our rational words and intentions. Two-thirds of communication impact comes from non-verbal aspects that reflect our inner state. Though our being seems amorphous, it's our most powerful influencing weapon when consciously wielded.
Tsun-yan demonstrates this through his practice of unconditional positive regard-before meeting a difficult banking executive, he meditated on her creative contributions, transforming their interaction. By consciously deploying different aspects of our being (like courage or caring), we access our inner power and overcome the inner tensions that might otherwise sabotage our influence attempts.
Chapter 5
The Seven Principles of Effective Influence
Unlike many books that focus on persuasion in sales situations, Hsieh introduces seven basic principles that transcend all +influence situations:
**1. Be Deliberate**
Being deliberate means approaching influence consciously and intentionally rather than winging it. Effective influencers use plan-do-adjust (PDA) cycles, sometimes going through multiple rapid cycles in the first few minutes of an important meeting. Planning involves understanding context, identifying pressure points, and making judgments about actions and influence strategies. Doing means carrying out the influence attempt while noticing reactions and feedback. Adjusting involves making real-time changes based on effectiveness and new information.
**2. Understand Context, Pressure Points, and Judgment**
Understanding context and pressure points is critical for effective influence. Pressure points can create negative pressure (like a deal falling apart) or offer relief (such as supportive shareholders). Successful influencers leverage positive pressure to relieve negative pressure points.
Good judgment requires both head and heart-analytical thinking and emotional awareness. In high-pressure situations, the ability to remain calm while acknowledging emotions provides a significant advantage. Good judgment means making consistently sound decisions with limited information in complex situations.
**3. Set Task and Relationship Objectives**
Effective influencers set clear objectives by determining what they want others to think, feel, and do to accomplish tasks while improving relationships. This requires mapping the path between the other person's current mindset and the desired outcome.
Mentalizing-understanding others' mental states-is crucial but cognitively demanding. Skilled influencers can simultaneously achieve task completion and relationship improvement by addressing thoughts (head), feelings (heart), and actions (volition).
**4. Develop Insight and Inquiry**
Insight involves understanding key contextual factors, pressure points, and central issues requiring resolution within limited interaction time. It means apprehending the true nature of things and developing penetrating discernment into underlying truths.
Inquiry-asking the right questions-is essential for gaining valid insight. This requires constantly suspending assumptions and maintaining humility to sharpen sensitivity to new data. The best influencers can hold conflicting perspectives simultaneously, recognizing that different time horizons, goals, mental models and stakeholders create vastly different interpretations of the same reality.
**5. Time the Moments**
Contextual factors create finite moments-periods when influence attempts can still impact outcomes. The key question is "When does X need to do Y for Z to be achieved, and by when?"
You must consider hard situational factors affecting timing, stakeholder expectations, and especially the window when people will be receptive to influence on central issues. Generally, influencing earlier provides greater flexibility when minds are less made up and energy is fresh.
**6. Find the Right Pace**
Finding the right pace requires aligning your internal sense of timing with what the situation demands. As Roman emperor Augustus famously said, "Make haste slowly" (festina lente). A fast pace isn't necessarily most effective-slower pacing gives influencees time to reach their own realizations and build ownership of outcomes.
**7. Seize the Moments as They Arise**
Even the best influence plans fail without action in the moment. Effective influencers seize far more moments than ineffective ones. These defining moments often emerge from uncertainty and unclarity. To prepare, identify the ingredients key to success and consider when opportunities might emerge.
Chapter 6
Five Habits to Raise Your Influence Proficiency
Developing proficiency in influencing follows four stages: unconsciously unskilled, consciously unskilled, consciously skilled, and unconsciously skilled. Five key habits provide a foundation for becoming more proficient:
**1. Care About Others**
Caring about others is both virtuous and pragmatic for effective influence. When genuine care combines with proper technique, you can truly see into another person and discern how to positively influence them. Mechanical application of principles without care feels contrived.
Caring comes naturally to some but requires cultivation for others, especially those who've experienced trauma. With caring comes curiosity about others' perspectives, helping us avoid the fallacy that everyone thinks and feels as we do.
**2. Stretch Yourself**
Expanding our influencing ability is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we believe we can only influence in our habitual ways, we'll stay confined to our comfort zone. But when we're open to new methods, we discover what works better and how we might need to develop our being.
There's no overnight transformation, but countless people have successfully expanded their influence range. A well-rounded repertoire of influence tactics is learned, not inborn. Even accomplished leaders like Lou Gerstner found themselves stretching beyond rational influencing to connect with emotions when situations demanded it.
**3. Be Present**
Presence isn't just about techniques-it's the undivided attendance of your whole being in the moment. When present, you notice thoughts, feelings, non-verbal signals, energy, tone, and their implications for your influence attempt.
This deep presence offers two fundamental benefits: gathering data you might otherwise miss and signaling sincerity that brings people closer. Being continually present is challenging-judgments, emotions, distractions, and internal voices interfere. Therefore, presence is a muscle requiring daily strengthening through practices like meditation, breathing techniques, and visualization before important meetings.
**4. Give, Receive & Invite Feedback**
Only through feedback can we know whether we've achieved our influence objectives and why. Good influencers make feedback a daily practice rather than an annual event.
Quality feedback is specific, timely, and addresses both observable behavior and its impact on the giver-making it non-judgmental and useful. Since many people avoid giving feedback, you may need to actively invite it by asking others about your impact or requesting specific suggestions for improvement.
**5. Reflect**
Reflection is "the most time-starved activity in a world crazed by too much doing." It involves making sense of where you are in life or a situation-understanding what's happening, why it's happening, and how it affects you and others.
To reflect effectively, you must "stay down" to reach deeper issues, like peeling an onion. Reflection should produce takeaways-insights about yourself or others that give the process forward momentum.
Chapter 7
Aligning Your Being with Your Influence
Our being must align with our influence attempts to create authentic impact. We frequently encounter disconnects between what people say, feel, and do-like CEOs who encourage speaking up but take no questions, or project leaders who request funding while appearing nervous and uncertain. These disconnects weaken influence and confuse objectives.
Four aspects of our being must align for effective influence:
**1. Personal Qualities**
Our influence is determined by the quality of our being, not just our words or actions. Seven key qualities support positive influence: Care for others (even when hurt); Courage to act despite fears; Curiosity about others' perspectives; Humility that neutralizes arrogance; Compassion for others' struggles; Persistence despite setbacks; and Drive through passion and work ethic.
Effective influencers deploy these qualities in combination-they remain calm under pressure, persist without needing to prove themselves, know when to lead or follow, make unpopular decisions when necessary, and balance performance with compassion.
**2. Emotions**
In every interaction, emotions affect our thoughts and actions, whether we're conscious of them or not. Effective influencers recognize how emotions influence both themselves and others, especially during difficult conversations.
Strong emotions must be acknowledged before rational thinking can fully engage. Many business leaders lack emotional awareness, creating an inner limit that requires practice to overcome. Emotions signal important information and indicate influence bottlenecks that must be addressed.
**3. State**
State refers to a person's specific condition at a particular time, and for +influence, the coherence between mind, body, and heart significantly impacts effectiveness. We unconsciously pick up others' states and interpret them as signals of intentions, motivations, and capabilities.
The state of the influencer affects those being influenced, so you must consider what state would encourage others to think, feel, and act for +outcomes, then work to embody that state. This requires constant practice of tuning into and channeling your energies and emotions.
**4. Conative**
Conative refers to a person's proclivity to process emotional and rational stimuli in ways that result in actions in a preferred, intuitive direction. A strong conative makes decision-making easier (though not necessarily better), while those with weak conative tend to flip-flop or be swayed by others.
Developing a strong conative involves moving from reactive to creative orientation, developing an internal locus of what's worth fighting for rather than meeting external expectations, and focusing on collective success rather than individual achievement. Finding one's conative requires experience, reflection, and courage-what Bill George calls finding one's "True North."
Chapter 8
From Influence to Leadership
Leadership is a form of social influence that gets people to act faster and better, creating new realities that benefit the collective. Since everyone can influence, everyone can lead-it's not reserved for those in formal authority positions.
Influence serves as both the "first mile" and "last mile" of leadership:
**The First Mile of Leadership**
The "first mile of leadership" involves influencing the trajectory toward success before accepting a new role. Research shows only about a third of workers go beyond discussing basic factors like pay to align on expectations, timing, and resources.
A European executive exemplified this by visiting creditors before accepting a CEO position at a debt-laden telco, negotiating debt relief that would give him breathing space for transformation. His radical openness and courage to engage stakeholders before accepting the role created degrees of freedom that would have been impossible to achieve after taking the position.
**The Last Mile of Leadership**
The "last mile" of leadership refers to the critical moments of execution when plans meet reality. Despite careful preparation, meetings can go awry and processes can break down.
Tsun-yan shares an experience ordering a $17 teapot that arrived damaged, leading to a three-month ordeal with eight consecutive process failures despite following all proper procedures. This illustrates how much can go wrong in the "last mile" of implementation, emphasizing why +influence skills are essential for leadership effectiveness.
Effective leadership requires several key abilities:
1. **Presencing**: Being fully present-physically, rationally, emotionally, and spiritually.
2. **Sensing**: Detecting weak signals before they become obvious problems.
3. **Perceiving**: Interpreting sensory information correctly without noise or bias.
4. **Seizing**: Catching the right moments during influence episodes to produce desired outcomes.
Chapter 9
Conduct, Craft, and Character: The Foundation of Exceptional Influence
The three fundamental elements that make exceptional influencers are conduct, craft, and character (the "3Cs").
**Conduct**
Conduct is defined as a behavioral pattern persisting over time, consistent across various situations, and guided by self-selected principles and norms. Unlike imposed rules, these self-chosen standards are adhered to sustainably because they align with personal values.
Examples include Tsun-yan's refusal to use disposable coffee cups for environmental reasons, even when inconvenient (paying $34 for a reusable mug instead of $4 for a disposable cup). Such conduct remains consistent because it's anchored in principles that matter deeply to the individual, regardless of social pressure or convenience.
**Character**
Character is defined as the habitual flow of moral biases unique to a person, drawn from upbringing and life-shaping experiences. It operates at a subconscious level when activated and provides autonomy to choose pathways according to ingrained values.
Character takes a long time to evolve but becomes a powerful resource during uncertain times, helping with rapid access to our being in +influence. As Ralph Waldo Emerson noted, character is "moral order seen through the medium of individual nature"-committing individuals to higher ideals beyond self-interest for the greater good of the community.
**Craft**
+Craft emerges when conduct is practiced as an expression of one's character in +influence-an internalized, tacit know-how combining creativity with one's unique character. Unlike being "crafty" which implies deceit, +craft supports +influence to yield positive outcomes.
While self-help literature offers techniques and tools, LinHart's approach builds a sustainable craft unique to each person, expressing character through productive conduct for collective benefit. This differs from Dale Carnegie's approach which focuses on winning others to your way of thinking rather than seeking "what's best for everyone."
+Craft shares characteristics with traditional craftsmanship across cultures-each expression is unique and immune from mass production, similar to the Japanese concept of shokunin which combines technical skill with social consciousness and obligation to the general welfare.
The authors encourage readers of all backgrounds to develop their personal craft in +influence through lifelong learning and apprenticeship. Like historical crafts that required apprenticeship beyond mere skill training, mastering +influence requires learning from masters rather than following formulas.
The fundamental insight is that +influence isn't a zero-sum game-you can benefit yourself and others simultaneously. By developing your personal craft of positive influence, you can succeed sooner, scale greater heights, and do more good in the world.
Chapter 10
Engaging Your Being for Positive Influence
Our being is central to +influence. Effective influence requires using the right words, aligning our being with those words, and ensuring both support our influence objectives. To influence what others think, feel, and do, we must first influence ourselves. This internal alignment is fundamental but challenging. We often experience inner conflict when attempting to influence others-knowing we should deliver difficult messages while dreading the conversation.
It's our own being-our conviction and inner qualities like courage, compassion, and discipline-that we must activate before we can compellingly influence others. This requires engaging with our whole selves, not just our rational minds. When we bring our full being to influence attempts, we create authentic connections that resonate with others at a deeper level.
Naithy Cyriac exemplifies how dedicated practice of these principles can transform someone profoundly. From a shy Indian student taking her first international flight in 2012, she evolved into a pioneering business leader in Myanmar. Through deep reflection and peer support, Naithy confronted her self-doubt, embraced leadership responsibilities, and built a thriving business from scratch.
The journey of positive influence is ultimately a journey of self-discovery and growth. As we develop our influence capabilities, we simultaneously develop ourselves. By focusing on outcomes that benefit all stakeholders, we create a virtuous cycle where our influence attempts strengthen relationships, build trust, and create new possibilities for collaboration.
The most powerful influencers understand that true influence isn't about getting others to do what we want-it's about creating conditions where everyone can contribute their best toward shared goals. This requires a fundamental shift from seeing influence as a tool for personal gain to seeing it as a means for collective advancement.
By mastering the principles and practices of positive influence, we don't just become more effective at achieving our goals-we become catalysts for positive change in our organizations, communities, and beyond. In a world often characterized by division and self-interest, the practice of positive influence offers a path toward more collaborative, productive, and fulfilling relationships at every level.
