Parenting: Getting It Right by Andy & Sandra Stanley Summary

Parenting: Getting It Right by Andy and Sandra Stanley offers a faith-based guide to raising children with a focus on building lasting relationships. It emphasizes adapting strategies across developmental stages—from discipline in early years to fostering friendship in adulthood—while prioritizing a "north star" goal: raising kids who choose to stay connected to their family. The book combines practical advice with Christian principles, addressing common parenting anxieties.

This book is ideal for Christian parents seeking faith-integrated strategies, caregivers navigating toddler to teenage challenges, and those prioritizing long-term family bonds. It’s particularly valuable for parents aiming to balance structure with emotional connection and couples wanting to strengthen their marriage as a parenting foundation.

Yes, it provides actionable insights for confident parenting, such as avoiding unnecessary yelling, leveraging time as an expression of love, and aligning parenting phases with children’s needs. Relatable examples from the authors’ experiences with biological and foster children make it a practical, encouraging resource.

The Stanleys’ "north star" is raising children who want to spend time with their parents and siblings, even when they’re no longer obligated to. This goal prioritizes relational health over short-term compliance, encouraging parents to foster mutual respect and lifelong connection.

They advocate for a three-stage approach: discipline (early years), training (school age), and friendship (adulthood). Each phase adapts to children’s growing autonomy, shifting from setting boundaries to guiding decision-making and finally nurturing peer-like trust.

A healthy marriage is framed as the cornerstone of successful parenting. The authors argue that marital stability models security for children, reduces household conflict, and ensures unified parenting strategies—critical for fostering a nurturing environment.

Yes, they advise yelling only in dangerous situations. This approach prevents fear-based relationships and teaches children to associate raised voices with genuine emergencies, promoting calm communication in everyday conflicts.

The book encourages integrating faith through modeling rather than forced adherence. It focuses on creating a home environment where spiritual values are naturally lived out, helping children develop authentic, self-driven faith resistant to deconstruction.

1. Discipline (ages 0–5): Establishing boundaries.
2. Training (ages 6–12): Teaching decision-making.
3. Friendship (teen years+): Transitioning to mentorship and mutual respect.

By prioritizing open dialogue, respecting their autonomy, and investing time in shared activities. The Stanleys stress that teens thrive when parents listen more than lecture and model humility in admitting mistakes.

Some may find its faith-centric approach less applicable to non-Christian audiences. Additionally, its emphasis on marital health could feel challenging for single parents, though the principles remain adaptable.

Unlike formulaic guides, it avoids rigid rules, instead offering flexible frameworks tied to relational outcomes. It stands out for its focus on long-term connection over behavioral control, aligning with modern, grace-based parenting trends.