Loveology Summary, PDF, EPUB, Audio

Q: What is *Loveology* by John Mark Comer about?

*Loveology* offers a biblical theology of love, marriage, and sexuality, redefining love as self-sacrifice modeled after Jesus’ crucifixion. It challenges cultural myths about romance, argues marriage is designed for partnership in God’s work, and addresses singleness, pornography, and gender roles. Comer blends Scripture with practical advice, emphasizing love as an intentional choice over fleeting emotion.

John Mark Comer, bestselling author of Loveology: God. Love. Marriage. Sex. And the Never-Ending Story of Male and Female, is a pastor, teacher, and leading voice in Christian spiritual formation.

With a master’s degree in Biblical and Theological Studies from Western Seminary, Comer blends theological depth with practical wisdom, shaped by nearly two decades as founding pastor of Portland’s Bridgetown Church.

His works, including The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry and Live No Lies, explore themes of discipleship, cultural engagement, and ancient spiritual practices. As the founder of Practicing the Way, a nonprofit creating formation resources for churches, Comer hosts a top-rated podcast and teaches at Vintage Church LA.

His New York Times bestselling books have collectively sold millions of copies, with The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry becoming a modern Christian classic featured in major retailers and airports worldwide.

What is Loveology by John Mark Comer about?

Loveology offers a biblical theology of love, marriage, and sexuality, redefining love as self-sacrifice modeled after Jesus’ crucifixion. It challenges cultural myths about romance, argues marriage is designed for partnership in God’s work, and addresses singleness, pornography, and gender roles. Comer blends Scripture with practical advice, emphasizing love as an intentional choice over fleeting emotion.

Who should read Loveology by John Mark Comer?

This book is ideal for Christians navigating relationships, singles seeking biblical guidance on dating, married couples strengthening their unions, and pastors teaching on love and sexuality. It’s also valuable for those questioning cultural narratives about romance or battling sexual struggles like pornography.

Is Loveology worth reading?

Yes. Comer’s scriptural grounding, relatable tone, and countercultural insights make it a standout resource. He dismantles clichés like “love is a feeling” and offers actionable steps for building relationships rooted in Christ-like sacrifice. Critics praise its balance of theological depth and accessibility.

What does Loveology say about the purpose of marriage?

Comer argues marriage isn’t primarily for happiness but for partnership in serving God’s kingdom. He writes, “happiness is the result of a healthy marriage,” stressing spouses should prioritize mutual growth and shared ministry over self-fulfillment. This contrasts sharply with modern “soulmate” narratives.

How does Loveology view singleness?

Singleness isn’t a waiting room for marriage but a unique season to serve God wholeheartedly. Comer encourages singles to avoid idolizing relationships and instead invest in spiritual growth, community, and mission. This perspective empowers singles to live purposefully without societal pressure.

What is the biblical definition of love in Loveology?

Love is defined as “Jesus on the cross”—a deliberate, sacrificial choice to prioritize others’ well-being. Comer contrasts this with cultural views of love as passive emotion or sexual attraction, urging readers to model Christ’s self-giving love in all relationships.

How does Loveology address pornography?

Comer calls pornography a destructive force that warps intimacy and objectifies people. He advocates for honesty, accountability, and community support to overcome addiction, emphasizing God’s grace and the healing power of authentic connection.

What cultural myths about love does Loveology challenge?

The book debunks myths like “love is uncontrollable chemistry” and “marriage completes you.” Comer critiques Hollywood romance tropes, arguing lasting love requires commitment, forgiveness, and daily acts of service rooted in biblical truth.

How does Loveology use Scripture to support its arguments?

Key passages include Ephesians 5 (marriage as Christ-church metaphor), Genesis 2 (God’s design for male-female relationships), and 1 Corinthians 13 (love’s characteristics). Comer ties these to modern issues like dating, cohabitation, and gender roles.

What criticisms exist about Loveology?

Some readers find Comer’s views on gender roles overly traditional, while others desire deeper exploration of LGBTQ+ topics. However, most praise his balanced approach to sensitive issues and adherence to orthodox Christian teachings.

How does Loveology relate to John Mark Comer’s other books?

It complements his works on spiritual formation (e.g., The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry) by applying contemplative faith practices to relationships. Themes of intentional living and countercultural discipleship recur across his writing.

What practical advice does Loveology offer for dating couples?

Comer advises setting physical boundaries, seeking community accountability, and focusing on character over chemistry. He stresses dating as a path to discern marriage potential, not merely casual romance.

Key takeaways

When Forever Feels Impossible

00:00

At sixty years of marriage, most couples are celebrating with cruises and photo albums. John Mark Comer's grandparents marked theirs in a hospital room. His grandmother was recovering from a brain tumor, and his grandfather sat beside her, embodying a love that refused to quit. This wasn't the fairy tale we see in movies - it was something rawer, more powerful. It was love "as strong as death," the kind that doesn't collapse when the music stops or the lights dim. We've grown up on Disney endings and rom-com formulas, but real love looks more like those weathered hands holding tight through the storm. What if our confusion about relationships isn't because love is complicated, but because we've forgotten what it actually means? We use the word "love" for everything. I love my wife. I love tacos. I love that new series on Netflix. The word has become a junk drawer where we toss every feeling from mild preference to life-altering devotion. This linguistic laziness creates real problems when we try to build lasting relationships on such shaky definitions. Many of us define love as tolerance or intense emotion - something that happens to us rather than something we choose. We "fall" into love like we're tripping over a crack in the sidewalk, which means we can just as easily fall back out. But if marriage is meant to last a lifetime, we need a sturdier foundation than fluctuating feelings. True love looks like Jesus washing feet - both feeling deeply and acting sacrificially. It's making coffee before your partner wakes, listening after exhausting days, showing up when it's inconvenient. Hebrew captures this beautifully with different words: *rayah* for friendship love found in shared laughter, *dod* for passionate physical desire, and *ahava* - the deepest soul-level love that burns like fire and refuses to quit. Walking Jerusalem's Via Dolorosa, tracing Jesus's final steps to crucifixion, the weight of cross-shaped love becomes tangible. Each ancient stone testifies that love costs something. This is the only kind strong enough to carry a relationship through decades of sleepless nights with sick children, financial anxiety, career upheavals, and aging parents. My wife and I discover this daily - that love's difficulty and beauty are inseparable, like resurrection following death.