Love More, Fight Less by Gina Senarighi Summary

Love More, Fight Less is a relationship workbook offering 30 communication strategies and 29 guides to navigate common conflicts. It teaches couples to reframe arguments as opportunities for growth, rebuild trust, and deepen intimacy through exercises on self-awareness, emotional reactivity, and active listening. Designed for practical application, it addresses finances, family dynamics, and sexual connection.

Couples at any relationship stage—newly dating, engaged, or long-term—who want to resolve conflicts constructively will benefit. It’s ideal for partners struggling with communication, trust issues, or recurring arguments. Solo readers seeking preemptive relationship skills or therapists coaching clients will also find actionable tools.

Yes, for its evidence-based, structured approach to improving communication. Unlike generic advice, it combines Gottman Method principles with step-by-step activities, making it a standout choice for couples wanting tangible strategies. Over 10 years of clinical expertise inform its relatable examples and frameworks.

Dr. Gina Senarighi is a bestselling author, award-winning relationship coach, and Gottman-certified therapist with 12+ years’ experience. She hosts the Swoon podcast, leads global couples’ retreats, and specializes in nonviolent communication and sexual intimacy. Her work emphasizes creating “clean fights and dirty sex” in healthy relationships.

Key strategies include:

• Separating thoughts from feelings to reduce defensiveness.
• Using “I statements” to express needs without blame.
• Identifying emotional triggers and practicing self-regulation.
• Active listening techniques like paraphrasing and validating.

The book provides scripts to discuss spending habits, debt, and financial goals without judgment. It encourages couples to align values, create shared budgets, and reframe money talks as collaborative problem-solving rather than battles. Real-life examples illustrate overcoming scarcity mindsets.

It offers tools to set boundaries with in-laws, navigate parenting disagreements, and balance family traditions. Techniques include “united front” communication and prioritizing the couple’s needs alongside extended family expectations. Case studies show how to resolve holiday-planning disputes.

Some may find the workbook format demanding, as it requires consistent practice. Critics note it focuses more on conflict management than prevention. It’s less suited for couples in crisis needing immediate therapy but excels for proactive skill-building.

Unlike abstract theory-driven guides, it prioritizes actionable exercises over general advice. Compared to The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, it adds structured frameworks for specific issues like sexual desire mismatches and cohabitation challenges.

Yes, it includes exercises to reconnect emotionally and sexually, such as vulnerability-building dialogues and scheduled “connection dates.” It normalizes ebbs in intimacy and provides pathways to revive passion through nonjudgmental communication.

• Clean fights: Arguments focused on mutual understanding, not winning.
• Dirty sex: Playful, consensual intimacy rooted in emotional safety.
• Emotional reactivity cycles: Patterns where triggered emotions escalate conflicts.

Its emphasis on adaptability resonates in an era of evolving relationship norms (e.g., polyamory, remote work stress). Updated examples address digital communication pitfalls and balancing autonomy with partnership, making it a timely resource.