I Never Thought of It That Way by Mónica Guzmán Summary

Mónica Guzmán’s I Never Thought of It That Way tackles political polarization by teaching readers to replace judgment with curiosity. Through frameworks like "INTOIT" (I Never Thought Of It That Way), it offers tools for fearlessly honest conversations across divides, addressing stages of polarization like sorting, othering, and siloing. The book blends personal stories with actionable strategies to rebuild empathy in divided times.

This book is ideal for anyone navigating political disagreements, workplace conflicts, or family divides. Educators, managers, and activists will find its communication strategies valuable, while readers seeking to understand opposing viewpoints gain practical methods to foster connection. Guzmán’s approach resonates across ideologies, making it relevant for liberals, conservatives, and moderates alike.

Guzmán identifies sorting (self-segregating into like-minded groups), othering (viewing outsiders as inferior), and siloing (retreating into echo chambers) as key drivers of division. These stages create barriers to understanding, transforming nuanced debates into hostile "us vs. them" dynamics.

The "INTOIT" (I Never Thought Of It That Way) framework encourages asking, “What am I missing?” to spark curiosity. It involves actively seeking gaps in one’s perspective, approaching disagreements with humility, and reframing conflicts as opportunities for mutual learning rather than battles to win.

Key exercises include:

• Generous interpretation: Asking, “What’s the most charitable reason someone might hold this view?”
• Perspective mining: Identifying honest concerns behind opposing arguments.
• Proximity practice: Engaging directly with people outside your bubble to humanize differences.

Guzmán analyzes how social media amplifies polarization through algorithms and performative outrage. She advises pausing before reacting to provocative posts, using curiosity to disentangle intent from impact, and prioritizing private messaging over public debates for tougher conversations.

Some reviewers note the second half leans heavily on frameworks over stories, which may overwhelm readers seeking narrative-driven insights. Others question whether curiosity alone can resolve deeply entrenched systemic issues or trauma caused by oppression.

Yes. Guzmán draws from her experience as a liberal with Trump-supporting parents, offering scripts to navigate charged topics. Techniques like “I want to understand, not convince” and focusing on shared values (e.g., safety, dignity) help reframe family conflicts.

• “Judgment is reckless when we don’t understand what we’re judging.”
• “Whoever is underrepresented in our lives will be overrepresented in our imaginations.”
• “You can’t hate someone whose story you know.”

While both emphasize empathy, Guzmán focuses specifically on political and ideological divides. Her tactics are more confrontation-ready, teaching readers to stay curious in heated moments rather than retreating to avoid conflict.

A journalist and director at depolarization nonprofit Braver Angels, Guzmán wrote this book after bridging divides in her Mexican immigrant family and organizing cross-partisan dialogues in rural America. Her work combines frontline experience with research on communication psychology.

Absolutely. With over 50% of U.S. counties now politically homogenous, the book’s tools for resisting echo chambers remain critical. Updated examples on AI-driven misinformation and global conflicts could deepen its modern applicability.