
Psychologist Jennifer Taitz's guide shatters the "happily ever after" myth, using cognitive behavioral therapy to transform singlehood from waiting room to wonderland. What if finding yourself - not a partner - is the key to happiness modern psychology confirms?
Jennifer L. Taitz, Psy.D., ABPP, is a clinical psychologist and the bestselling author of How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate. In her practical self-help guide to thriving in singlehood, Taitz blends cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) insights.
A board-certified expert in CBT and DBT, Taitz serves as an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and founded LA CBT DBT, a boutique therapy practice. Her work, informed by over a decade of clinical experience, addresses themes of emotional resilience, values-driven living, and evidence-based strategies for modern relationship challenges.
Taitz’s expertise extends to her acclaimed book End Emotional Eating: Using DBT Skills to Cope with Difficult Emotions and Develop a Healthy Relationship to Food, which also earned the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies’ Seal of Merit. A sought-after media contributor, she’s been featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR’s Life Kit, and top podcasts like Call Her Daddy and Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard. How to Be Single and Happy has been recommended by Forbes and Women’s Health, with portions of proceeds supporting global women’s empowerment initiatives.
How to Be Single and Happy is a science-based guide offering strategies to cultivate contentment and emotional resilience while single. Drawing on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), Dr. Taitz provides tools like mindfulness, self-compassion, and values alignment to combat loneliness, overanalyzing relationships, and societal pressures. The book emphasizes that happiness is independent of relationship status and includes actionable steps to build a fulfilling life.
This book is ideal for single individuals seeking to reframe loneliness, those anxious about dating, or anyone prioritizing emotional well-being. It’s also valuable for readers interested in evidence-based psychology, as Dr. Taitz blends clinical expertise with relatable anecdotes. Fans of self-help books like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* or Daring Greatly will appreciate its practical focus.
Yes—the book is a Forbes and Women’s Health recommended read, praised for its research-backed approach and inclusivity across ages, sexualities, and identities. Readers report reduced anxiety and improved self-worth after applying its mindfulness exercises and judgment-reduction techniques.
Key ideas include:
Dr. Taitz challenges myths like “singlehood equals failure” and provides scripts to handle intrusive questions about relationship status. She encourages readers to redefine success on their own terms, using exercises to identify and reject unhelpful cultural narratives.
The “worry paradox” refers to how fixating on finding a partner drains mental energy and hinders meaningful connections. Dr. Taitz explains that anxiety about being single often leads to impulsive decisions, and she offers CBT techniques to interrupt this cycle.
Yes—the book advocates for “values-driven dating,” where actions align with self-respect rather than desperation. It includes tips for setting boundaries, avoiding overanalysis, and staying present during dates. Dr. Taitz also debunks common dating myths, like “playing hard to get.”
Unlike generic advice, How to Be Single and Happy integrates clinical psychology frameworks like CBT and DBT. It avoids platitudes (e.g., “love yourself first”) in favor of structured exercises, such as emotion-tracking journals and mindfulness meditations.
Mindfulness is central to managing emotions like loneliness or regret. Dr. Taitz teaches readers to observe feelings without reaction, which reduces rumination and fosters acceptance. Practices include body scans, breath-focused meditation, and nonjudgmental self-talk.
Some reviewers note the book focuses more on individual mindset shifts than systemic issues (e.g., dating app algorithms or societal stigma). However, most praise its actionable strategies and compassionate tone, with one reader calling it “an anchor lifted from my chest.”
As a UCLA-affiliated psychologist board-certified in CBT and DBT, Dr. Taitz merges clinical rigor with accessibility. Her experience treating anxiety and emotional dysregulation shines through in the book’s structured yet empathetic approach.
Absolutely—the emotional regulation skills apply broadly to stress management, career challenges, and self-esteem. Readers cite benefits like reduced emotional eating and improved relationships with friends/family.
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Picture a young woman scrolling through Instagram at 2 a.m., watching her ex move on with someone new while she's frozen in place. Or imagine someone turning down invitations, convinced they can't truly enjoy life until they find "the one." These aren't just isolated moments of sadness-they're symptoms of a cultural belief that's quietly sabotaging millions of lives: the idea that happiness requires a romantic partner. What if this widely accepted truth is actually a lie? Research reveals something surprising: your relationship status accounts for only 10% of your happiness, while your daily intentional behaviors control 40%-four times as much. Yet we continue to organize our entire emotional lives around finding love, creating what might be called the "husband treadmill"-endlessly chasing a relationship status we believe will finally make us happy. We've been sold a story about happiness that doesn't hold up under scrutiny. According to the "hedonic treadmill" theory, our happiness naturally hovers around a stable set point regardless of external circumstances. Yet 45% of singles believe finding a partner would be their greatest source of happiness-despite overwhelming evidence that marriage provides only a minimal boost, roughly 1% on a happiness scale. Here's what's even more striking: we're terrible at predicting how we'll actually feel in different situations. When researchers measured the actual happiness levels of people in relationships versus recently single individuals, they found no significant difference. Students vastly overestimated how devastated they'd be after breakups. We routinely imagine that gaining something will make us permanently happier and losing something will destroy us-but neither prediction holds true. Consider the hotel housekeepers who were told their daily work constituted healthy exercise. Without changing anything about their routines, they showed measurable physical improvements-reduced weight, lower blood pressure, decreased body fat. The only thing that changed was their mindset. Similarly, when twelve-year-olds were taught they could improve their intelligence, they performed better academically and enjoyed learning more. Our beliefs shape our reality more powerfully than we realize. The problem isn't being single. The problem is believing we're incomplete without someone else.