
NBA psychotherapist Dr. Corey Yeager's "How Am I Doing?" offers 40 transformative self-conversations that tackle ancestral trauma and negative self-talk. Featured on MPR News, this guide helps readers navigate mental health barriers - especially within African American communities where therapeutic dialogue remains revolutionary.
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You're sitting in your car between errands, phone buzzing with texts you're ignoring. A rare quiet moment. And suddenly, a question surfaces: "Am I actually happy?" Not the surface-level "fine" you tell everyone, but genuinely, deeply okay. Most of us sprint through life so fast we never pause to ask. We're too busy being what others need us to be - the reliable colleague, the good parent, the supportive friend. But here's a truth that might sting: you can't pour from an empty cup, and most of us are running on fumes. This isn't a self-help cliche - it's the foundation of everything that follows. Before you can show up authentically for anyone else, you need to know who's actually showing up. Stop for a second. Who's the most important person in your life? If you just named your spouse, parent, or child, you've missed someone critical - yourself. This isn't narcissism; it's oxygen-mask logic. On planes, they tell you to secure your own mask first because you're useless to others if you're unconscious. Life works the same way. Taking a "you day" when you're overwhelmed - ignoring emails, declining calls, just existing - isn't selfish. It's preventative maintenance. When your tank hits empty, your decisions suffer, your patience evaporates, and everyone around you pays the price. Think of yourself as the star of your own movie. You wouldn't watch a film where the protagonist constantly sacrifices their needs until they collapse, would you? That's not inspiring - it's tragic. Being the lead doesn't mean ignoring others' needs; it means moving consciously rather than reflexively. Yes, sometimes a sick child or struggling friend genuinely comes first. But if you're constantly the supporting character in your own story, you'll spend your life seeking external validation, unable to make decisions without a committee's approval. Notice when you hesitate to take time for yourself. What are you afraid of? Disappointing someone? Being seen as selfish? Track these moments. Create a self-care inventory - maybe it's morning coffee in silence, a long walk, or an hour with a book. Then actually protect that time. Because taking responsibility for your happiness isn't optional. It's the price of admission to a life that's actually yours.
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