Chapter 1
The Mental Shift That Changed Everything
When Russell Wilson threw an interception returned for a touchdown in the first 81 seconds of a 2020 game against the Patriots, he didn't need to "bounce back" - because he never "bounced away" in the first place. This is the power of neutral thinking, a revolutionary approach developed by Trevor Moawad, one of the most influential mental conditioning coaches in sports. Before his untimely death from cancer in 2021 at age 48, Moawad worked with elite performers including Russell Wilson, Nick Saban's Alabama football dynasty, and special operations military units. His approach has transformed how top performers handle pressure, with Wilson calling it his secret weapon. Unlike traditional positive thinking that can feel forced or inauthentic, neutral thinking offers a practical alternative that resonates with elite performers who find "just be positive" advice cringey and ineffective. As Moawad's influence has spread beyond sports into business and personal development, his methods have become essential tools for anyone facing significant challenges.
Chapter 2
Beyond Positive Thinking: The Neutral Advantage
I completed my first book during a challenging divorce, which felt like extreme stress at the time. But discovering I had cancer just before a global pandemic taught me what true stress really was. As I recovered from surgery and prepared for radiation, COVID-19 shut down the world, bringing fear, isolation, and financial hardship. This convergence of personal and global crises demanded an even deeper commitment to neutral thinking.
People often ask why I "bash" positive thinking. I don't - I simply recognize its limitations. When facing cancer or a pandemic, blind positivity isn't just impossible; it can be harmful. Early COVID mistakes came from excessive optimism - magical thinking that the virus would disappear or summer heat would kill it. Those who clung to unfounded positivity suffered greater disappointment when reality hit.
Neutral thinking strips away biases to focus on facts, allowing judgment-free decision-making. It acknowledges past events without assuming they determine future outcomes. As Clippers executive Lawrence Frank explains: missing ten shots doesn't guarantee missing the eleventh, just as making ten doesn't ensure making the next. By analyzing our "personal data" rather than making emotional judgments like "I suck" or "I'm on fire," we can identify specific behaviors to change.
My journey to neutral thinking began in contrast to my father's approach. Bob Moawad was a renowned motivational speaker who emphasized positive thinking and self-esteem. As his "lab rat," I repeated nightly mantras and affirmations. Yet when I tried implementing these positive psychology methods as a team captain, college athlete, teacher and coach, I consistently found only about half of people responded well to positivity-focused approaches.
As my career progressed from high school coach to sports psychology consultant to mental conditioning director at IMG Academy, I observed that elite athletes particularly resisted the "just be positive" message. Tennis star Victoria Azarenka described it as "cringey." Elite performers want specifics - not vague positivity, but concrete techniques.
My epiphany about neutral thinking occurred after a grueling, poorly-timed hike in 111-degree Arizona heat. Exhausted in my car, I stared at the gear shift in neutral position and realized its perfect metaphor - a vehicle in neutral is ready to move in any direction once the driver decides. For humans, when energy is spent, shifting to neutral allows us to regroup without blame or negativity, positioning us to move forward.
Neutral thinking isn't nihilism or emotional detachment - it's setting emotion aside during decision-making while still living passionately afterward. As Russell Wilson explained: "It's okay to have emotions, but don't be emotional." Let facts guide decisions by asking: What is the next step? How do I do this right here and right now?
Chapter 3
Taking the Next Right Step: The Power of Immediate Action
The pandemic's early days created a perfect storm of anxiety, fear, and isolation. When COVID-19 shut down the NBA in March 2020-starting with the canceled Utah Jazz vs. Oklahoma City Thunder game-Americans began realizing life would dramatically change. Simply "staying positive" during such uncertainty was potentially harmful, as false hope only leads to deeper despair when reality hits.
Instead, downshifting to neutral by focusing on the next actionable step rather than the overwhelming big picture provides a practical path forward. This approach kept me grounded through my cancer diagnosis and treatment. The key question that helped me through cancer applies universally: "What is the next thing I need to do?"
Si France, founder of Welbe Health serving vulnerable seniors, faced a critical COVID-19 crisis in March 2020. With limited information but knowing his elderly clients were highly vulnerable, Si and president Matt Patterson moved their company into neutral thinking mode. They established clear protocols: weekly all-hands meetings, a home-based care model with tablets for clients, rapid testing to create mini-bubbles, and a simple daily checklist for staff (read plan, execute assignment, care for family). Their mantra became "We're going to do the best we can today." By staying neutral rather than panicking, they saved lives-only ten clients died from COVID-19 instead of the statistically expected sixty.
UCLA women's basketball coach Cori Close, who learned directly from legendary coach John Wooden, implemented neutral thinking with her team during a pandemic-disrupted 2020-21 season. With only eight available players and multiple challenges, Close had her team read my book twice and practice neutral thinking daily. This approach paid off in a crucial game against Oregon when, during a late timeout with the score tied, player Lindsey Corsaro reminded teammates: "This is when neutral thinking counts. What does this situation require of me?" Star player Michaela Onyenwere missed a shot but followed it for the rebound and game-winning layup.
The fundamental question in neutral thinking is "What does this situation require of me?" This focuses solely on what you can control-your next step-rather than dwelling on why something happened or how others should behave. I applied this to my cancer treatment, focusing only on the immediate next step: blood test, meeting, exercise, scan, treatment. This approach works in any challenging situation, from health crises to workplace conflicts.
Chapter 4
Values as Your Compass: Finding Direction in Chaos
Values provide the essential foundation for living neutrally. They're what we prioritize based on our lifetime of experiences, becoming our baseline either consciously or subconsciously. There are no "correct" values - they simply are what matters most to us, driving our decisions and ultimately who we become. When we're out of alignment with our values, our decisions and behaviors won't feel right, making it impossible to reach our goals.
Russell Wilson, known for avoiding strong opinions throughout his NFL career, chose to speak out during the 2020 protests following George Floyd's death. This decision aligned with his core value of creating a better world for his children. Wilson shared a personal experience from 2015 when he faced racism in a California restaurant, reinforcing his father's painful lessons about racial prejudice. By speaking up despite his usual public silence on non-football matters, Russell demonstrated how living according to your values enables neutrality - his actions felt right because they aligned with what truly mattered to him.
My first real adversity came in college when health issues forced me to drop out temporarily. This crisis prompted me to examine what truly mattered to me. By summer's end, I had identified my core values: academic success, athletic work ethic, being well-rounded, spirituality, and surrounding myself with force-multiplying people-those whose qualities enhance rather than leech from my own. This foundation significantly improved my college experience and prepared me for whatever challenges came next.
When our identity becomes too dependent on one aspect of our lives, losing that piece can be devastating. My father shared a tragic story about a high school quarterback who took his own life after his girlfriend broke up with him. Despite having everything going for him-athletics, academics, looks-his entire identity hinged on being her boyfriend. This illustrates how delusion can feel like reality when our values are out of balance.
Just as important as personal values are organizational values. When Nick Saban hired me in 2007 to help establish Alabama's winning culture, we created a mental-skills manual codifying the program's core values. The trust Saban placed in consultants like me was remarkable - allowing us time to educate players on fundamental thinking principles created meaningful change. The most satisfying part was watching Alabama players discover their values and create a self-sustaining culture where veterans enforced the value system.
To identify your values, try this simple exercise: Take a note card and divide it in half. On the left side, list "Five Values" and on the right, "Five Goals." On the back, write "Current Behavior" on the left and "Ideal Behavior" on the right. The things important to you should connect with your goals. If family time is a value, your goal might be working less on weekends. If hard work matters, your goal might be career advancement. Often, we discover misalignment - our values don't match our goals. This requires either changing goals to fit values or reassessing what truly matters to you.
Chapter 5
Behaving Your Way to Success: The Power of Habits
Living neutrally isn't just philosophy - it's action. Once you've identified your values, your habits must align with them. As Admiral William McRaven told University of Texas graduates in his famous 2014 commencement address, something as simple as making your bed each morning accomplishes the first task of the day, building momentum for other accomplishments. This simple habit demonstrates that little things matter, and provides comfort even after difficult days. Habits are what transform possibilities into probabilities - first you form your habits, then they form you.
My father defined "habit" with a memorable acrostic: Have A Ball All The Time. Though misspelled, the message was powerful. The "Have A Ball" part means that once you develop great habits, life improves as you build an infrastructure of behaviors fueling progress toward your goals. The "All The Time" part is crucial - your behaviors must consistently match your values, not just occasionally. Success is launched by values, built by behaviors, and sustained through daily action.
Top performers have natural talent, but what sets them apart is their willingness to execute the basics better than everyone else, repeatedly. Ichiro Suzuki exemplifies this - writing his baseball dreams in sixth grade and practicing 360 days yearly since third grade. His meticulous habits included daily catch with his father, oiling his glove after each session, hitting 500 pitches daily, and maintaining elaborate stretching routines throughout his career. Stephen Curry showed similar dedication, arriving 30 minutes early to practice, perfecting situational shots, and refusing to leave until swishing five consecutive free throws.
These athletes demonstrate that behaviors must supersede feelings - sometimes you must "behave your way into feeling it versus feeling your way into behaving." After identifying your values, ask yourself two critical questions: What am I doing daily to align with my values? What am I doing that prevents alignment with my values? Then take three simple steps: Do more of what supports your values, do less of what undermines them, and start with making your bed. These small daily actions compound into significant improvements through what coaches call "the aggregate of marginal gains" - tiny improvements that eventually create massive change.
Chapter 6
Escaping the Negativity Waterfall: Protecting Your Mental Energy
We're all on a metaphorical conveyor belt headed toward brain-scrambling fate through our own "doomscrolling" habits. Every time we open social media, we inch closer to mental destruction. Doomscrolling - consuming excessive negative news in short periods - became widespread during the early COVID-19 pandemic. A 2020 study revealed that 87% of US media pandemic coverage was negative compared to just 50% in other English-speaking countries. Even positive scientific developments received negative framing.
Our brains are wired to prioritize negative information. Studies by researcher Vanessa LoBue showed both adults and children identify angry faces among happy ones faster than happy faces among angry ones. Similarly, people spot snakes among flowers quicker than flowers among snakes because snakes represent potential threats. This explains why former President Reagan, amid cheering crowds, noticed the one person giving him the finger. Today, that negativity surrounds us everywhere - on television, radio, and especially social media. These negative inputs stick with us long after positive ones fade, continuously gnawing at our minds.
Social media has correlated with alarming mental health trends. The suicide rate among Americans aged 10-24 rose 57.4% between 2007-2018, after remaining stable from 2000-2007. Studies show children using social media 3+ hours daily face significantly increased mental health risks, while college students limited to 30 minutes daily reported feeling less lonely and depressed. The platforms present a double threat: direct negativity through nasty comments and the insidious illusion of others' perfect lives that creates insecurity.
The solution is simple but difficult: just stop consuming what makes you anxious, mad, sad or depressed. I'm not asking for meditation or mindfulness - just stop doing unnecessary things that make you miserable. When pushing toward greater heights, every microinch counts. Don't cede ground to intentionally slanted news stories or social media feeds that drain your mental energy.
Chapter 7
Focus Management: Locking On to What Matters
The mind works like a mobile phone battery - when we waste energy on distractions, we have less power available for important moments. Will Zalatoris demonstrated this principle during the 2021 Masters, turning off his phone to maintain focus during the tournament. Only after finishing second and securing $1.2 million did he reconnect and respond to Adam Sandler's tweet comparing him to the Happy Gilmore caddy. Turning off distractions is the ultimate neutral statement - before focusing on what matters, we must remove what doesn't.
Michael Goldhaber, a theoretical physicist, predicted our current attention economy in the 1980s, recognizing that our finite attention would become increasingly valuable as information sources multiplied. In a 1997 Wired essay, he accurately forecasted the rise of "microstars" (today's influencers), warned that competition for attention would prevent deep thinking, and predicted we would "shortchange those around us, especially children." We pay attention at a cost - focusing on one thing prevents us from focusing elsewhere. This opportunity cost can be substantial, whether missing relationship opportunities or spiraling into negativity from what we consume online. Where you direct your focus, you direct your life.
The law of substitution means we can only sustain one dominant thought at a time - what my father called "LOCK ON/LOCK OUT." Once locked onto something, everything else gets blocked out. The challenge is identifying what deserves our focus versus what doesn't. Workplace productivity killers include cell phones (49%), internet (38%), and social media (37%). Even work-related distractions matter - a study of Italian judges showed those juggling multiple cases took longer per case than those focusing on fewer trials simultaneously.
Russell Wilson kept a simple three-item checklist in his locker throughout the 2014 season as the Seahawks headed toward their second Super Bowl. Serena Williams demonstrates the power of checklists during tennis matches by reviewing notes during changeovers - a habit she borrowed from Venus. These aren't complex revelations but simple reminders like "look at the ball" that help maintain focus when distractions threaten. For the 2007 Australian Open final against Maria Sharapova, Serena wrote just one word: "Yetunde" - her half-sister who had been killed in 2003. On every changeover, she focused on her sister's memory, dedicating her eighth Grand Slam title win to Yetunde.
Chapter 8
The Power of Preparation: Setting Your Mind for Success
Nick Saban's attention to detail extended to selecting the perfect pregame movie before Alabama's 2010 national championship game against Texas. While most coaches let players choose from whatever's playing, Saban wanted every input to prepare players' minds. Trevor had narrowed choices to "Miracle" (about the 1980 US Olympic hockey team) and "Invictus" (about South Africa's Rugby World Cup). Trevor argued for "Miracle" because its message fit their journey - beating Florida (like defeating the Soviets) was just the semifinal, with Texas (like Finland) still ahead for the championship. Despite some technical difficulties with the Blu-Ray player the night before the game, the players loved "Miracle," and Alabama went on to beat Texas 37-21 for the national title.
Pregame mindset matters not just for athletes but for anyone facing important moments - whether a work presentation, job interview, or medical procedure. Instead of merely reacting with neutral thinking during stressful situations, you can prepare with it. This preparation makes it easier to downshift when stress arrives and allows you to enter important moments more ready than if you'd let your mind wander.
Before my cancer surgery, I prepared my mind just as I'd help athletes prepare for games. I chose to watch "Cinderella Man" the night before-the same film Nick Saban showed his Alabama team before their transformative 2008 opener against Clemson. The morning of surgery, I visited church, took a walk with my ex-wife Solange, and kept repeating "take the next step" as my personal mantra. At the hospital, I recorded a video stating I wasn't scared anymore but ready like it was "game day." When nurses insisted on putting me under anesthesia while lying on my stomach against my preference, I requested two minutes to return to neutral, used progressive muscle relaxation and controlled breathing, and visualized my grandparents' home in Washington.
During my chemotherapy, my pregame strategy included refusing to hear about potential side effects and focusing only on what I could control. I told the staff to give me a pamphlet of side effects that I never intended to read - if side effects hit me, they hit me, but I wouldn't fill my head with scary possibilities. My other pregame strategy came from Mark Herzlich, a former Boston College linebacker who battled Ewing's sarcoma. Mark advised me to eat as much as possible during treatment. So I fueled with French toast - two orders plus sourdough bread - before each session, believing more bread would help my body absorb the chemicals without side effects. Whether that's scientifically accurate or not, I didn't experience the severe side effects others warned about.
Chapter 9
Building Your Support Team: Becoming Your Own General Manager
In team environments-sports, companies, or families-everyone carries weight and contributes to collective consciousness. The right team provides competitive advantage, which is why successful organizations prioritize assembling the best personnel. But we rarely think about being the general manager of our own lives, carefully selecting teammates who help us navigate life's challenges.
When facing cancer, I needed to evaluate my team-not company employees, but people in my life. I had to determine what roles each person could play and recognize that some people shouldn't know about my diagnosis because it wouldn't benefit either of us. Drawing from my experience with winning teams across sports, military, and business, I understood that building a successful team follows universal principles regardless of the specific mission. I needed people who could help me deal with fear, pain, and sudden changes-not people who couldn't handle the information or had their own major struggles.
In winter 1999, I noticed subtle changes in my father when we presented together at Mercer Island High School. He surprisingly had me handle most of the presentation and afterward asked me to drive home-something he'd never done before. A month later, he called to tell me he had cancer. The memory that sticks with me is how devastating this was for my mother, who had expected my father to live and teach until he was ninety-five. They had just purchased a second home in Arizona, planning to spend more time together, but cancer destroyed that plan. Seeing my mother's struggle and resentment, I resolved not to burden others with my own diagnosis if possible.
On Maria Menounos' podcast in January 2020, just before my major surgery, we discussed supporting loved ones with cancer. Without revealing my own diagnosis, I advised: "You need to understand people in your life who are not good with that type of information. You need to not put them in a position to disappoint you." Maria added that you don't need someone bringing cookies and saying "poor thing"-you need practical support. We agreed that excluding certain people from your circle of trust might hurt feelings, but in critical situations, others' feelings can't be your priority.
Lawrence Frank, president of basketball operations for the LA Clippers, became the anchor of my support team. We'd met through Billy Schmidt when I was looking for work closer to my Manhattan Beach home. Lawrence understood prolonged health battles from helping his wife with chronic medical issues. During our walks along the beach, he listened, offered advice in language that connected with me, and helped me stay neutral when I became overwhelmed. He also helped with "talent acquisition," connecting me with Clippers' team doctor Steve Krems who assembled my medical team.
The essential people to keep in your life include those who ask "How can I help?" instead of "How does this affect me?"; people who can connect you with others who can help; people who speak your language and understand the neutral mindset; people you aspire to be like; people who share your faith; people who love you unconditionally; and sometimes even "free agents" who can help your championship push. Don't wait for a crisis-start evaluating your roster today by honestly assessing everyone in your life and building your depth chart. When adversity strikes, you'll already have your support system in place.
Chapter 10
The Journey Has No End: Embracing Continuous Growth
Billy Donovan reached the pinnacle of college basketball when his Florida Gators won the national championship in 2006. Yet despite achieving what he'd spent his life chasing, he was surprised to find it didn't bring complete fulfillment. "If you think you're going to be whole as a person, you're not," he realized. "It's not the end-all, be-all." This raises the question of what happens after we achieve our goals - whether outselling everyone at work, becoming the boss, or making a million dollars. Does achievement alone bring lasting satisfaction?
We can't focus all our energy on far-off outcomes or we risk feeling empty upon arrival. Living neutrally means celebrating victories and cursing defeats, then moving on to the next moment. As my dad said, we're not human beings but human "becomings" - constantly evolving. Billy understood this, seeking advice from accomplished coaches like Pat Riley and Bill Belichick after his first championship. Their message: treat each new season as an entirely new experience.
When his players complained late in their second championship season that they weren't having fun, Billy instituted post-win celebrations regardless of opponent. They went on to win ten straight games and a second national title. Billy knew fulfillment comes from the journey, not the destination: "A trophy or ring is just a sign of people pulling together to accomplish something extraordinary."
Living neutrally means taking that next step regardless of success, failure, or fear. I demonstrate this in my own life, whether navigating a blown tire during a cross-country move or facing health challenges. As I said while preparing for surgery: "I want to be in a situation where I start thinking about this next step." Life won't get easier, but by staying neutral and taking one right step at a time, we can keep going.
