Breaking the Cycle by George N. Collins with Andrew Adleman Summary

Breaking the Cycle provides a step-by-step plan to overcome sex addiction, porn obsession, and shame through psychological exercises and spiritual insights. It combines real-life stories (like Bob’s marriage-destroying addiction) with techniques to manage compulsive behaviors, rebuild relationships, and cultivate mindfulness. The book emphasizes recognizing harmful subpersonalities (“tulpas”) driving addiction and replacing them with healthier thought patterns.

This book is vital for individuals struggling with sexual compulsions, partners/families of addicts, and counselors seeking actionable strategies. It’s particularly relevant for those whose addiction has harmed careers, finances, or relationships. Collins’ blend of personal experience (as a former addict) and professional expertise makes it a practical resource for long-term recovery.

Yes, Breaking the Cycle is praised for its actionable framework, combining cognitive-behavioral techniques (like the “red light guy” exercise) with spiritual principles. Its stark real-life examples—such as losing custody due to addiction—motivate change, while its focus on accountability and intimacy-building offers hope. Critics note it could delve deeper into defining emotional intimacy.

The book uses exercises like visualizing worst-case scenarios (e.g., family trauma) to deter relapses and teaches readers to identify triggers. For example, Bob’s story illustrates how porn consumption during a Super Bowl game destroyed his marriage and relationship with his daughter. Techniques include creating mental “stop signs” to interrupt compulsive urges.

• Subpersonalities (“tulpas”): Internal voices driving addictive behavior.
• Worst-case visualization: Using fear of consequences to fuel motivation.
• Mindfulness: Staying present to avoid objectification and fantasy.
• The “red light guy”: A mental tool to block triggering thoughts.

Yes, it outlines strategies to repair trust, such as accepting supervision during child visitation (as Bob did) and fostering vulnerability. The book stresses replacing transactional sexual behavior with emotional intimacy, though some readers wish it expanded on defining healthy intimacy.

Critics note the book doesn’t fully address objectification within marriages and lacks a clear definition of intimacy. Some find its spiritual elements less useful than its psychological exercises. However, its practical steps for crisis management are widely praised.

Collins merges evidence-based methods (cognitive-behavioral exercises) with spiritual concepts, like fostering self-compassion to counter shame. This dual approach helps readers reframe addiction as a manageable challenge rather than a moral failing.

This mental strategy involves envisioning a “red light guy” who interrupts addictive thoughts before they escalate. By personifying resistance, users gain a tangible tool to avoid triggers, such as porn sites or risky environments.

Unlike broader addiction guides, Breaking the Cycle specifically targets sexual compulsions with tailored tools, like subpersonality management. Its mix of autobiographical insights (Collins’ recovery) and clinical advice distinguishes it from purely theoretical texts.

The book addresses modern challenges like 24/7 porn accessibility and chatroom addiction. Its exercises help users navigate digital triggers, making it a critical resource for maintaining focus and relationships in an era of constant temptation.

“When sexual impulses dominate your thoughts and interfere with life, you’re on the path to addiction.” This line underscores the book’s core premise: recognizing compulsive patterns is the first step toward reclaiming control.