Boy Erased by Garrard Conley Summary

Boy Erased is a memoir detailing Garrard Conley’s traumatic experience in a church-supported conversion therapy program after being outed as gay in conservative Arkansas. It explores his struggle to reconcile his sexuality with fundamentalist beliefs, exposing the psychological harm of these programs while highlighting resilience and self-acceptance. The book also examines family dynamics and societal pressures faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in religious communities.

This book is essential for readers interested in LGBTQ+ rights, religious trauma, or memoirs about identity. Educators, mental health professionals, and advocates working to ban conversion therapy will find firsthand insights into these harmful practices. It’s also valuable for those navigating faith and sexuality conflicts.

Garrard Conley is an author, speaker, and Lambda Award finalist known for his activism against conversion therapy. A Arkansas pastor’s son, he now teaches memoir writing and hosts the UnErased podcast, which documents the history of conversion therapy in America. His work has been featured in TIME, CNN, and The Huffington Post.

Yes—the book’s raw account of conversion therapy’s psychological toll makes it a critical read, despite some critiques of pacing and prose. It sparked national dialogue, contributed to legislative bans on conversion therapy, and has been credited with saving lives through its unflinching honesty.

Key themes include the clash between faith and queer identity, familial love conditional on conformity, and systemic abuse in religious institutions. Conley also dissects how shame and dogma perpetuate harm, while emphasizing hope through self-forgiveness and allyship.

The memoir exposes conversion therapy as a pseudoscientific practice that weaponizes religion to enforce shame. Conley describes dehumanizing tactics like forced confessions, gender role enforcement, and teachings that frame homosexuality as a “curable” sin. Survivors recount being labeled “unfixable” despite compliance, leading to lasting trauma.

Conley’s advocacy, paired with his memoir, helped shift public perception, leading to partnerships with groups like the Human Rights Campaign. His work contributed to bans in 22 U.S. states by 2025, while offering survivors a platform to share their stories.

While the film focuses on Conley’s therapy experience and parental relationships, the book provides deeper context about his religious upbringing, rape aftermath, and the ex-gay movement’s history. Both highlight Nicole Kidman’s character’s evolution, but the memoir offers more nuanced family dynamics.

Some reviewers note uneven pacing and excessive exposition, arguing emotional moments are occasionally overshadowed by detached narration. However, most praise its bravery in exposing conversion therapy’s dangers, calling it a vital resource despite stylistic flaws.

1. “I was supposed to emerge heterosexual, ex-gay, cleansed of impure urges.” – Reflects the program’s false promises.
2. “Survival required a careful reconstruction of my past.” – Emphasizes reclaiming agency after trauma.
3. “You can’t pray away the gay.” – A rallying cry against conversion therapy’s futility.

Despite progress, 30 U.S. states still permit conversion therapy for minors as of 2025. Conley’s memoir remains a tool for education and legislative change, particularly in conservative regions where these programs persist under religious guises.

Conley portrays his parents’ initial complicity and eventual growth, illustrating how fear and indoctrination strain familial bonds. His mother’s transformation from enforcer to ally underscores the possibility of reconciliation through empathy.