Chapter 1
The Mythical Career Advantage: How to Become Irreplaceable
In a world where AI threatens millions of jobs and the Great Resignation has created unprecedented workforce competition, William Vanderbloemen's "Be The Unicorn" offers a timely roadmap to professional distinction. Drawing from over 30,000 interviews conducted through his executive search firm, Vanderbloemen reveals that what makes someone truly exceptional isn't wealth, looks, or education, but twelve teachable traits that can transform anyone into a workplace "unicorn" - that rare, irreplaceable talent organizations desperately seek. The book has become a favorite among hiring managers and career coaches, with John Maxwell praising its data-driven approach to success. As workplace competition intensifies, Vanderbloemen's insights have never been more relevant for professionals seeking to stand out in an increasingly crowded marketplace.
Chapter 2
The Responsive Professional: Why Speed Creates Opportunity
In our on-demand world, responsiveness has become a powerful differentiator. While conventional wisdom often suggests playing it cool and not appearing too eager, the data tells a different story. The most successful professionals understand that speed wins.
Being fast feels risky to our primitive brains. We're naturally wired to avoid uncertainty and let others take the first leap. Our limbic system, focused on immediate pleasure, typically overpowers our planning-oriented prefrontal cortex, leading to procrastination. Yet the Fast have learned to quiet these impulses and act when opportunity presents itself.
This doesn't mean impulsively saying yes to everything. Rather, it means quickly determining what deserves immediate attention versus what's merely a "distraction disguised as opportunity." The distinction requires practice but improves with experience.
The consequences of delay can be severe. When we postpone action, we often lose momentum entirely. The initial excitement fades, giving our rational brain time to find reasons not to proceed. This happens with everything from exercise routines to business opportunities - when immediate action isn't possible, enthusiasm wanes and chances slip away.
Sales data confirms this reality: leads responded to within five minutes are eight times more likely to convert than those addressed later. Despite this clear evidence, few people consistently act with appropriate urgency.
At Vanderbloemen's firm, this pattern is striking. Most candidates take over two days to respond to outreach, even when actively seeking new positions. The tiny fraction (less than 1%) who respond within a minute stand out dramatically. These ultra-responsive candidates consistently prove more successful in placements, showing higher job satisfaction and receiving "highly valuable" ratings from colleagues.
To identify truly responsive candidates, Vanderbloemen employs a "text test" - sending unusual questions via text at odd hours like 10:30 PM. Those who respond immediately, especially with thoughtful or fun answers, earn significant points for demonstrating "ridiculous responsiveness."
Many top performers attribute their speed to military backgrounds where quick decisions were life-or-death matters. Timothy notes his aviation experience taught rapid assessment skills, while Patrice emphasizes decisiveness: "Make a decision! Quickly gather information, knowing we'll never have all... Be decisive. Commit and move forward."
For those looking to develop this skill, practice is essential. Like athletic speed, response time is a "use it or lose it" skill. Two primary barriers prevent people from being fast: lack of access to opportunities and fear. Access requires maintaining appropriate communication channels without sacrificing personal boundaries. Fear paralyzes decision-making. To determine if something is a distraction or opportunity, consider whether it advances your goals, receives whole-brain agreement, and yields results worth the investment.
Ultimately, speed comes from confidence. As Michelle shares, her single mother instilled this by assigning chores with deadlines but without micromanagement: "No need for perfection. Sometimes you fail but you learn and keep moving. There is not much that you can't recover from."
Chapter 3
The Power of Authenticity in a Filtered World
In today's Google era, there's nowhere to hide. While many have temporarily succeeded with "fake it till you make it" approaches, authenticity has emerged as a critical long-term success factor. Despite our culture's emphasis on perfection, authenticity is gaining market share as consumers increasingly rely on genuine reviews and gravitate toward brands with authentic voices.
Authenticity manifests in refreshing honesty. When asked about being fired, only about 0.5% of job candidates admit it directly. Most offer euphemisms like "philosophical differences" or "my season had come to a close." Yet hiring managers fear inauthenticity more than almost any other trait - it leads to squandered resources, lawsuits, and PR nightmares.
Being authentic doesn't mean being perfect. In fact, perfection often repels rather than attracts. As one mentor wisely observed, "People will nod at your successes. They will laugh with you at your slipups. But they will remember you for how you handled the failures." This principle was illustrated when a young pastor named John candidly shared his struggle with inappropriate internet content in college, how he sought intensive counseling, and how he used his story to help others. His authenticity was remarkable and memorable.
Among surveyed "unicorns," 17.36 percent-the highest for any trait-report that authenticity is their strongest quality. These exceptional performers find that authenticity builds confidence and trust among teams. Andy shares how admitting his own oversight while addressing a team member's metrics issue deepened trust. Angela notes that people hunger for authenticity from leaders, while Monique believes authenticity makes us more approachable.
Thomas observes that authenticity provides two benefits: attracting like-minded people and driving away those who aren't. Authenticity creates psychological safety-when people know your true self, they feel less anxious. Leigh Anne emphasizes the importance of consistency across all circumstances, which helps her team anticipate her decisions.
Like fictional characters who exhausted themselves hiding their true identities, inauthentic people waste energy maintaining facades. Brendan notes that "staying intentionally consistent and authentic frees someone from having to keep track of how they appear in different contexts." Frank, a twice-wounded combat veteran, realizes "life is short and fragile" and remains the same person "24-7-365."
To cultivate authenticity, share your mistakes with humility, but don't overshare. Diana found it "freeing" to acknowledge her failings, enabling faster and healthier growth. Research shows making mistakes and owning them helps us learn better than if we'd gotten things right initially.
Humility means acknowledging when you don't have everything figured out. Glenn finds his openness helps others be receptive to his ideas. Chad notes that while leaders often hesitate to share struggles, doing so often earns grace and patience from those they lead.
Remember you can't please everyone. Sam advises: "Adopting the mindset that pleasing everyone is not possible will set you free." Be wary of authenticity red flags: using vulnerability as a trendy shortcut, making yourself a martyr, or using "authenticity" as an excuse for hurtful behavior.
Chapter 4
Agility: The Essential Skill for a Changing World
As we age, we naturally become less flexible-both physically and mentally. Organizations similarly become rigid, following established paths without questioning efficiency. In today's fast-changing world, agility is essential - fighting change is like swimming against a riptide.
The COVID-19 pandemic dramatically illustrated this principle. Businesses that quickly pivoted to new models thrived, while those that resisted change often folded. Diversity significantly enhances organizational agility by bringing varied perspectives, though many haven't yet recognized this crucial connection.
To test a candidate's agility during interviews, Vanderbloemen asks about new skills they're learning, recent hobbies, and historical interests. Sometimes he'll change the interview location with short notice to observe adaptability. Among survey respondents, 5.87% identified agility as their dominant trait, with many noting how it helps them solve old problems with fresh approaches.
Agility means making the best of changed circumstances - like learning French when your Paris trip gets canceled. The agile accept new realities quickly and move forward without frustration. Humility is essential; being unattached to your own ideas allows for better adaptation. Taking a scientific approach helps remove emotion from decisions, and keeping your mission as your North Star makes it easier to pivot when necessary.
The quicker you acknowledge new realities, the faster you can adapt. Understanding that change is unavoidable helps you become a better team player rather than getting frustrated with procedural shifts. The truly agile not only embrace change but actively seek opportunities to create beneficial changes.
Humility dramatically increases your ability to become a Unicorn. Being unattached to your own ideas and open to new approaches prevents personal investment in specific outcomes. Learning not to take changes personally and ensuring your self-worth isn't tied to your ideas makes adaptation much easier.
Taking a scientific approach to change makes agility easier. View initiatives as experiments - if they work, continue; if not, adjust or try completely different approaches. This data-driven perspective removes emotional barriers to adaptation.
Keeping your mission as your North Star simplifies agility. When faced with challenges, decisions become clearer: if it supports the mission, proceed; if not, pivot. Believing in something bigger than yourself allows you to put aside personal preferences when change is required.
Chapter 5
Problem Solvers: The Value of Solution-Oriented Thinking
When faced with challenges, people can either choose to be on the problem side of the equation or the solution side. Those who choose to find solutions, who refuse to be victims, and who spend energy moving past those challenges are irreplaceable. The ability to keep your head in a panicked, rushed situation will set you apart from the crowd.
Research shows the top 1 percent of people interviewed have an uncanny knack for looking at the solution side rather than the problem side. Our brains are negative-biased, making complaining feel natural and rewarding. It helps us bond with groups and feel smarter, but it negatively impacts brain function and company culture.
While solving problems alone might seem faster, studies show group problem-solving leads to greater innovation, with millennials particularly excelling at collaborative solutions. The key to being a true Solver is using "we" instead of "I" - acknowledging the collective effort rather than claiming individual credit.
A solving mentality has been fundamental to Vanderbloemen's success. During interviews, they listen for how often candidates say "we" versus "I" as an unspoken litmus test, believing those who lead with "we" are both exceptional and valuable. Unicorns report that being a Solver brings joy to work and life, creates a sense of accomplishment, helps avoid repeating problems, and establishes a winning mindset.
To become a Solver, start by bringing solutions when you raise problems. They don't need to be perfect solutions - even suggesting "How about we take the rest of the day off and go to the rodeo?" shows creative thinking and humor. Simply showing up and saying yes to opportunities builds influence and responsibility.
Effective Solvers "see the whole board," assessing situations from multiple angles before making decisions that impact their teams. Diane approaches decisions by examining multiple viewpoints before acting, valuing input especially from those with similar experience. Dale emphasizes that people who point out problems without offering solutions are merely "throwing rocks at the parade."
Effective Solvers tackle overwhelming challenges by breaking them into manageable pieces. Software engineer Susan explains that seemingly insurmountable tasks become achievable when divided into smaller problems. Paul's approach involves narrowing questions to the most critical issues, identifying core challenges, and filtering out extraneous information.
Discernment is crucial for Solvers - not everything requires a solution. John's strategy involves immediately asking whether someone sharing an issue is merely venting or actually requesting help. This distinction preserves energy for problems that truly need solving, rather than wasting effort on unnecessary fixes.
Chapter 6
The Art of Anticipation: Seeing Around Corners
True Anticipators possess an uncanny ability to see around corners and predict what's coming next. Like chess grandmasters, they think several moves ahead, giving them a distinct advantage in both work and life. Our brains are naturally wired for prediction, having evolved to help humans survive by anticipating dangers and opportunities.
Anticipation doesn't require psychic abilities or prophetic gifts - it's about reading present signals to predict near-future outcomes. Modern leadership requires less focus on rigid ten-year plans and more ability to see just a few steps ahead in constantly changing environments. The pandemic demonstrated that effective anticipation often means focusing on immediate trends affecting the next few days rather than distant forecasts.
Biblical prophets weren't necessarily predicting centuries ahead but providing spiritually-driven commentary on immediate crises and near-future events. Similarly, modern Anticipators don't need supernatural foresight - they simply read current patterns better than others, seeing implications that most miss.
In today's era of constant disruption, anticipation means seeing just one or two steps further than everyone else. Like David's lamp that illuminated only his next step, effective anticipation often focuses on immediate trends rather than distant forecasts.
Bethany exemplifies anticipation in action. As an interim executive assistant, she received a lead in what appeared to be Spanish but was actually Portuguese. Before her boss could warn her about the mistake, she had already used Google Translator to understand the request, found a relevant white paper, translated it to Portuguese, and sent it to the client. This proactive problem-solving instantly secured her permanent position.
Anticipation is highly teachable among the twelve traits. Like golfers who plan their tee shot based on the green's conditions or pool players thinking three shots ahead, career anticipators consider future implications. During interviews, candidates who thoughtfully discuss how current positions fit into longer career trajectories demonstrate valuable anticipatory thinking rather than entitlement.
The 8.72% of respondents who identified as strong Anticipators appear cool under pressure because they've mentally prepared for various scenarios. Rich prepares answers for potential questions, even seemingly ridiculous ones, which instills confidence in others. Jeremy creates backup plans that allow for quick pivots, calling it "being spontaneous when I've prepared to be spontaneous."
Studying history provides powerful anticipatory insights since human behavior follows cyclical patterns. Today's cultural conflicts often mirror historical ones, suggesting that understanding the past is key to predicting future trends. Great Anticipators study the past to understand future patterns. They examine family of origin patterns and historical trends to predict future outcomes.
Anticipation improves with deliberate practice. Casey draws from fencing experience: "Imagine possible outcomes from your circumstances as often as you can." Tammy suggests playing situations out in your mind, while Sara credits stage management experience with teaching her to anticipate needs and problems before they arise. The key is consistently thinking through multiple possibilities and planning responses for each scenario.
Chapter 7
The Prepared: How Groundwork Creates Success
Preparation creates opportunity. As demonstrated by Eric Yuan's development of Zoom before COVID-19 and John Wooden's attention to fundamental details like properly wearing socks, the Prepared position themselves for success through thoughtful groundwork. In today's rapidly changing world, thorough preparation remains a crucial advantage that separates extraordinary performers from the ordinary.
The Scout motto "Be Prepared" captures the essence of this trait-thinking things through beforehand to know the right action at the right moment. While modern professionals might reject blind obedience, the practice of anticipating situations and planning responses remains essential for Unicorns.
Holly exemplified preparation during her hiring process, arriving with not just answers but a complete presentation on implementing HubSpot for the company-which was ultimately adopted. This level of preparation demonstrates initiative, intelligence, and clear vision that hiring managers value tremendously.
Among surveyed Unicorns, 5.38% identified as Prepared. They emphasize thorough preparation for meetings and presentations, knowing both their position and potential objections. Steve finds that knowing both sides of an argument thoroughly helps win support: "I am not only fully versed on the benefits of my suggested solution, I also make sure I am familiar with any possible objections." Emily notes preparation's efficiency benefits, while Scott emphasizes that appearing prepared creates favorable first impressions.
Jason observes that "taking the time to prepare for what is coming up will pay great dividends" by preventing the "endless spiral of meetings" and moving organizations forward more efficiently. Mark maintains a personal standard: "No one will ever show up to a meeting or meet with me directly and be more prepared." This thoroughness builds confidence even when prepared materials aren't used, solving problems before they arise.
The author's COO exemplifies preparation through her Junior Miss competition experience. Despite extensive research on global affairs, her interview question concerned video games-yet her comprehensive preparation gave her the confidence to answer convincingly despite the unexpected topic.
David learned the importance of preparation as a student teacher when "winging it" nearly caused him to fail. Now he researches thoroughly before assignments. Christy advises: "Never assume that you have all the information you will need. Do your homework and surround yourself with honest and knowledgeable people."
Buster recommends considering stakeholder reactions at each milestone: "What is the most likely reaction? What is the best reaction? What is the 'worst possible reaction'? Solving for the 'worst reaction' shows you've thought it through and increases the probability of getting the best reaction."
Rebecca approaches preparation with dedicated intentionality, asking "What are the exact steps I must take to achieve the desired goal?" She prepares thoroughly for meetings, considering the people involved and the meeting's purpose. Alan still follows his mentor's forty-year-old advice: "Plan your work, work your plan," creating weekly and monthly plans with follow-up reports on effectiveness.
Chapter 8
Self-Awareness: The Foundation of Exceptional Performance
In our noisy, busy world, self-awareness has become a rare and valuable trait. Knowing your weaknesses, strengths, and emotional state helps you stand out in the crowd. Lynsi Snyder, billionaire CEO of In-N-Out Burger, exemplifies this quality-her self-awareness helped her overcome personal challenges while maintaining her company's authentic identity and treating employees well.
Following Socrates' advice to "know thyself," self-awareness isn't just nice to have-it's a survival skill. Prehistoric ancestors who accurately assessed their limitations survived better than overconfident peers. Today, self-awareness helps you avoid setting yourself up for failure while positioning yourself for success by recognizing your strengths.
Self-aware people make better problem-solvers because they can decenter themselves from issues, staying calm when others lose their heads. Research shows self-aware people are generally happier, more creative, more effective at work, better at relationships, and more likely to be promoted.
This translates to practical success in daily life. The self-aware person knows not to schedule a keynote right after an international flight, or to wear sweat-proof clothing before a stressful meeting. They also leverage their strengths, like Yankees pitcher Mariano Rivera confidently taking the mound in the ninth inning. Knowing your capabilities isn't arrogance-it's essential to standing out.
Self-awareness benefits everyone around us, functioning as practical etiquette in action-whether making space on the subway or knowing when not to dominate a conversation. It's a pact we make with ourselves to be better for others while also serving our own interests.
The author shares how his friend Eric demonstrated remarkable self-awareness when considering a new position. Eric had just told his daughter he would only pastor a church outside but near a major city, in a community experiencing demographic transition, and near the coast-precisely matching the job opportunity the author was about to offer him. This self-knowledge, rooted in previous success and personal preference, led to another successful career move.
Self-awareness ranked as the fourth most common trait among surveyed "unicorns," with 8.38 percent identifying it as their strongest quality. These exceptional performers reported benefits across all aspects of their lives.
Andrew observes that self-aware leaders create healthier work environments because they set the right tone, keep their egos in check, and acknowledge when others excel. By contrast, leaders lacking self-awareness create toxic environments and practice narcissistic leadership that falls apart when they leave. Ralph and Adam note that self-awareness helps build better teams by recognizing everyone's strengths and weaknesses.
Michael, with forty years in ministry across nine churches, has developed self-awareness that allows him to accurately describe his strengths and limitations to potential employers. This clarity helps both him and hiring organizations determine fit, a principle that applies across all professions.
Self-awareness extends beyond professional settings into all aspects of life. Josh regularly questions how others experience him in different roles: as a boss, employee, or spouse. Scott has learned to recognize his tendency to overanalyze and delay decisions, pushing himself to act before feeling fully prepared. This self-knowledge helps him move more quickly while accepting that mistakes aren't fatal.
Chapter 9
Curiosity: The Engine of Innovation and Connection
Curiosity drives innovation and transformation. Bill Rosenzweig exemplifies this trait, having started as a mime before becoming a successful social entrepreneur. His curiosity about transformative experiences led him to partner with Banana Republic founder Mel Ziegler to create The Republic of Tea, a values-based business. Steve Jobs similarly credited following his "curiosity and intuition" with discoveries that "turned out to be priceless later on."
Curiosity is fundamental to human nature and achievement. From the Clovis people crossing ice bridges to astronauts venturing into space, our drive to explore defines us. Eleanor Roosevelt considered curiosity "the most useful gift" a child could receive, though it seems to come as a "factory setting" in humans, unlike many other Unicorn traits that must be developed over time.
Our brains reward curiosity with dopamine, creating that satisfying buzz when we discover answers to our questions. This neurological reward system makes us want to keep exploring. When our brains are primed by curiosity, we learn more effectively and retain information better-it's why teachers encourage students to research topics that genuinely interest them.
Research shows curiosity benefits mental health too, as the wonder-driven dopamine boost is incompatible with anxiety. Simply redirecting curiosity outward, like checking on a friend, can derail your own anxious thoughts while delivering that satisfaction of discovery.
We're all born curious, but maintaining that childlike wonder through adulthood is the real challenge. You can quickly tell who has preserved their curiosity and who has let the workaday world drive it out.
When Vanderbloemen was senior pastor at First Presbyterian Church of Houston, he performed Senator Lloyd Bentsen's funeral service and unexpectedly had to follow a eulogy by President Clinton. Before the service, he spent time alone with the President in his office. Every time he tried directing conversation toward Clinton, the President masterfully redirected it to him-asking about a Greece trip brochure on his desk or connecting his knowledge of relief work to his contacts. No matter his attempts, Clinton made him feel like the only person in the room. That's the power of curiosity-and explains why people voted for him, regardless of politics.
Basketball coach Phil Jackson revealed his coaching secret was simply "I listen." In our self-promotion-obsessed world, few develop this essential skill. Among survey respondents, 7.5 percent identify curiosity as their dominant trait. Like Clinton, they ask questions; like Jackson, they listen; and like most Unicorns, they succeed.
Interviewers increasingly ask candidates what they're curious about-a tactic standout Max swears by, noting those with healthy curiosity make the best team members. While some environments punish questions, others recognize curiosity as strength. Emilie found support in the Navy when her supervisor praised her "constant state of professional curiosity" as critical to success.
Emilie found curiosity keeps her humble by helping her see others' humanity rather than viewing them as obstacles. Travis notes that curiosity "breeds empathy and humility"-two essential leadership traits. Tim sees curiosity as both choice and skill requiring practice, helping him understand why people hold certain views by considering their experiences and stresses.
Chapter 10
The Connected: Building Relationships That Open Doors
Connection is a powerful force that drives success in business and life. Keith Ferrazzi committed his life to helping families like his own by creating meaningful connections. Connection isn't just about networking with powerful people but about building genuine relationships with everyone you encounter, as your life path is unpredictable.
Experts estimate that 75-80% of jobs are won through personal or professional connections. While historically, class mobility was limited and connections were determined by birth, today's digital world has opened up networking opportunities. Platforms like LinkedIn help people connect who might never have met otherwise. However, merely knowing people isn't enough-you must connect on a human level.
Programs like AVID help first-generation college students develop these skills, while organizations teaching "country club sports" like sailing and golf to underprivileged youth provide access to valuable social capital that can open doors.
Social capital transforms connections into opportunities. The author shares a personal example of meeting President Clinton, who subsequently connected him with influential figures including the archbishop of Constantinople. David learned early that "if you don't ask, the answer will always be no," but discovered you get more yeses when you've built solid relationships.
Among surveyed Unicorns, 6.88% identified most with being Connected. These individuals cite numerous benefits from their connectivity. Jennifer discovered early that identifying and connecting with successful people in areas she valued was crucial. Growing up with divorced parents and navigating many "firsts" alone, she learned to seek out those who had succeeded where she wanted to, build rapport with them, and when possible, ask them to become mentors.
Connection is fundamental to effective leadership. Dan emphasizes building "social capital" with team members before spending it, noting that teams respond better to leaders they like, respect, and who demonstrably care about them. Lief prioritizes building relational capital when starting new roles, finding it easier to gain buy-in when relationships are established throughout the organization.
Being connected isn't just strategic-it's more enjoyable. Spencer admits he once thought doing everything himself was faster, but this led to either arrogance or despair. By recognizing his weaknesses and surrounding himself with complementary strengths, he's found deeper relationships and more meaningful work. His team meets in homes, sharing snacks, laughter, and personal burdens. This investment in relationship-building creates resilience during inevitable conflicts.
Hiring managers value candidates with strong endorsements. The Connected excel at spreading word about open positions and bringing in qualified candidates. To cultivate connection at work, companies can offer referral bonuses, encourage networking through professional memberships and conference attendance, and emphasize mentoring.
E.M. Forster's famous line "Only connect" captures the essence of this trait-aligning thoughts and feelings to achieve purpose. Jordan puts it simply: "Always notice others. Meet them where they are, walk with them; help them realize their gifts and strengths."
Chapter 11
The Likable: Building Relational Equity That Lasts
After conducting more than twenty-five hundred searches, Vanderbloemen notes how often the winning candidate is simply someone who "plays well with others." Many companies end up having to fire (or wishing they could fire) a "brilliant jerk." The Likable maintain employment and earn promotions through relational equity-a store of goodwill built over time.
Jamie Kern Lima exemplifies likability throughout her career-from being crowned Miss Washington to her extended stay on the first season of Big Brother and success as a TV news anchor. Her broadcasting career revealed a problem: managing her rosacea while appearing on camera. Unable to find suitable makeup, she created IT Cosmetics with dermatologists' help. After two years of rejection from QVC, a chance meeting at a tradeshow led to a ten-minute spot. During her demonstration, Kern Lima boldly removed her makeup to reveal her rosacea before showing how effectively her products covered it. This vulnerable authenticity resonated with viewers, selling out her entire inventory. IT Cosmetics thrived, eventually selling to L'Oreal for $1.2 billion in 2017.
Likability often trumps competency in real-world situations. Research shows that while people claim they'd choose experts for projects, they actually select likable teammates instead. Two key findings emerge: feelings act as gatekeepers (if you don't like someone, they never get to demonstrate competence), and what little competency someone has gets maximized if they're likable.
Being likable isn't people-pleasing-the former comes from confidence while the latter stems from fear. Likability also differs from popularity; studies show popular people are associated with social dominance and aggression, while likable people are emotionally well-adjusted and less aggressive. Popular people push and shove; the likable welcome and unify.
Likable people rarely talk about themselves, instead turning conversations toward others. This principle applies professionally-in sales meetings, focus on customers; in leadership, highlight team members' wins; when sharing vision, make it about everyone present.
Remembering and using people's names makes them feel important. The author describes a friend "Larry" who makes remembering servers' names his mission, asking about their lives and following up on previous conversations during return visits. This approach removes power dynamics and builds genuine connection. How someone treats service staff has become a litmus test for character-the "waiter test"-affecting both personal and professional relationships.
Sometimes likability requires humility. The author shares examples of Queen Catherine Parr (who saved herself from Henry VIII's wrath by feigning intellectual inferiority) and Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird (who knew when not to flaunt his intelligence). Knowing when to stay quiet is as important as knowing when to speak.
Secondhand compliments-telling someone positive things others have said about them-create a flywheel of likability. They amplify good feelings between the original complimenter and recipient while positioning you at the center of positivity. The author calls them "Batman to gossip's Joker"-same execution, different motivations.
Chapter 12
The Purpose-Driven: Finding Your Why
Purpose-driven individuals find fulfillment and success by aligning their personal "why" with organizational missions. At Vanderbloemen, people join despite pay cuts because they're drawn to the cause, resulting in award-winning workplace culture.
Reshma Saujani, founder of Girls Who Code and daughter of refugees, embodies purpose-driven leadership. Despite emails from girls sharing how her organization changed their lives, she feels her mission isn't complete. Driven by gratitude for opportunities America gave her family, she's dedicated to empowering women in tech to access equal opportunities and salaries.
The 2018 Thai cave rescue exemplifies pure purpose-driven action. Over 10,000 people worldwide united with absolute clarity of purpose: save twelve boys and their coach. From volunteer divers to farmers allowing their fields to be flooded, everyone contributed selflessly. As rescue mission leader Narongsak Osatanakorn said, "The mission was successful because we had power. The power of love."
While such dramatic events are rare, purpose drives everyday success too-Cornell professor Anthony Burrow's research shows purpose-driven people live longer and maintain greater psychological stability. You don't need global disasters to be purpose-driven. Unicorns know professional success depends on having a strong personal purpose and finding an organization whose purpose aligns with yours.
McKinsey research found that COVID-19 caused two-thirds of workers to reevaluate their purpose, triggering the Great Resignation. This ultimately benefited both individuals and organizations as people found workplaces aligned with their values. When employees' purpose aligns with organizational purpose, benefits include stronger engagement, heightened loyalty, and greater willingness to recommend the company.
At Vanderbloemen, purpose alignment is crucial when hiring. Despite working with over fifty Christian denominations with unique beliefs, the company seeks candidates who respect all faiths. A clearly defined organizational purpose saves time and prevents heartbreak.
11.3% of survey respondents identify as dominantly purpose-driven, considering it a way of life that shapes everything they do. Deb's eye injury forced her to prioritize only tasks that moved her program forward and served others' needs, resulting in less stress and greater effectiveness. Adam notes that keeping your work motivation at the forefront transforms decision-making, prioritization, and emotional responses like resilience.
Roy revitalized a declining program by rediscovering its purpose, leading to fresh communication approaches and renewed enthusiasm both internally and with participants. Marcus has impacted over ten thousand youth and families through his purpose-driven leadership in diversity and inclusion.
Hiring managers value purpose-driven candidates because they naturally align personal and company purposes, saving time, energy, and money. The best purpose-driven workplaces maintain absolute clarity in their mission, understand team motivations, and celebrate when team members actively demonstrate the organization's purpose.
True purpose must come from within-it cannot be manufactured externally. Those uncertain about their purpose should observe admirable leaders and "try on" their purposes to discover what resonates. This process of emulation helps clarify one's authentic purpose.
Unicorns constantly question why they're doing something. Robert emphasizes that without knowing why, you're just being busy. Tom finds the why question brings clarity to decisions and helps articulate vision to his organization. Danese believes purpose gives meaning to everything, while William stresses not wasting time on distractions but focusing on your reason for existing.
