Anxiously Attached by Jessica Baum Summary

Anxiously Attached provides a roadmap for individuals with anxious attachment styles to build secure relationships through Jessica Baum’s Self-full® Method. Combining attachment theory with practical strategies, the book addresses insecurity, codependency, and boundary-setting while emphasizing self-compassion and emotional healing. Key themes include understanding anxious-avoidant dynamics, reclaiming self-sovereignty, and fostering interdependence.

This book is ideal for those struggling with relationship anxiety, codependency, or jealousy, particularly individuals identifying with anxious attachment. It also offers insights for partners of avoidant individuals and therapists seeking tools to guide clients. Baum’s holistic approach resonates with anyone aiming to break toxic relationship cycles.

Yes, for its actionable Self-full® Method and relatable exploration of attachment patterns. Readers praise its blend of neuroscience and emotional wisdom, though some note its writing style is less engaging than similar books. It’s particularly valuable for those seeking structured steps to heal relational trauma.

Baum’s Self-full® Method focuses on building inner security through boundary-setting, self-advocacy, and healing childhood wounds (“Little Me”). It teaches readers to prioritize self-care without guilt, communicate needs clearly, and break codependent habits. The method integrates interpersonal neurobiology and trauma-informed practices.

The book dissects how anxious and avoidant partners trigger each other’s insecurities, creating cycles of pursuit and withdrawal. Baum offers strategies to recognize these patterns, cultivate emotional self-reliance, and establish mutual respect. Examples include reframing communication during conflict and practicing detachment from outcomes.

• Boundary-setting: Protecting emotional energy while staying connected.
• Self-soothing: Techniques to calm the nervous system during triggers.
• Inner child work: Healing past wounds impacting current relationships.
• Interdependence: Balancing autonomy and intimacy without codependency.

Unlike Attached (Levine/Heller), which categorizes attachment styles, Baum emphasizes self-healing through the Self-full® Method. Her approach integrates trauma resolution, spirituality, and practical exercises like journaling prompts. It’s particularly tailored to anxious attachers seeking to break dependency on external validation.

Baum identifies the “Little Me” as the wounded inner child driving anxious behaviors. Through guided reflection, readers learn to reparent this aspect by addressing unmet childhood needs, reducing shame, and fostering self-trust. Exercises include writing letters to younger selves and identifying triggers rooted in past trauma.

Yes, the book includes worksheets for boundary-setting, communication scripts, and mindfulness practices. Examples:

• Self-fullness checklists: Daily habits to prioritize self-care.
• Triggers journal: Tracking emotional reactions and their origins.
• Meditation guides: Grounding techniques for anxiety.

While Attached explains attachment styles scientifically, Baum’s book provides a therapeutic roadmap for anxious individuals. Anxiously Attached delves deeper into healing trauma and building self-worth, whereas Levine’s work focuses on style identification and partner compatibility.

Some readers find Baum’s energy flow concepts underdeveloped and note repetitive sections. Critics argue it oversimplifies avoidant partners’ behaviors. However, most praise its compassionate tone and actionable steps, ranking it 4.16/5 on Bookey.

While written for anxious attachers, Baum’s boundary frameworks and self-fullness principles benefit avoidant individuals seeking to embrace vulnerability. The book’s group exercises (e.g., communication drills) are adaptable for all insecure attachment styles.