13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do by Amy Morin Summary

This book provides a framework for couples to build resilience by avoiding 13 harmful behaviors, such as ignoring problems or using emotions as weapons. It combines therapeutic strategies with actionable steps to improve communication, trust, and teamwork. Amy Morin emphasizes mental strength as the foundation for healthier relationships, addressing modern challenges like social media conflicts and pandemic-related stressors.

Couples seeking to strengthen their relationship dynamics, particularly those navigating communication breakdowns or emotional disconnection. It’s also valuable for individuals interested in personal growth within partnerships. Therapists and counselors may use it as a supplemental resource for clients working on relational resilience.

Yes, for its evidence-based strategies drawn from Morin’s 20+ years of therapy experience. The book offers concise, practical tools like conflict resolution techniques and trust-building exercises. Critics praise its focus on actionable steps over abstract theories, though some note similarities to Morin’s earlier work on individual mental strength.

Amy Morin is a licensed psychotherapist, TEDx speaker (22M+ views), and bestselling author of the 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do series. As editor-in-chief of Verywell Mind and host of the Mentally Stronger podcast, she’s recognized by Forbes and Inc. for expertise in resilience-building.

1. Avoiding emotional manipulation during conflicts
2. Replacing blame with shared responsibility
3. Building individual resilience to strengthen partnership
4. Addressing problems proactively rather than ignoring them

Morin frames these concepts through clinical case studies and cognitive-behavioral techniques.

It tackles contemporary issues like:

• Social media jealousy management
• Pandemic-induced relationship strain
• Balancing individuality with partnership

Morin provides tailored exercises for digital boundary-setting and crisis communication, making it relevant for 2020s couples.

The book applies cognitive-behavioral principles to relationships, teaching couples to:

1. Identify destructive thought patterns
2. Reframe emotional responses
3. Implement behavior-based solutions

Case studies demonstrate real-world application of these clinical methods.

Some readers note overlap with Morin’s previous books on individual mental strength. Others desire more multicultural case studies. However, most praise its structured approach to common relational pain points.

While her earlier works focus on individual resilience, this volume specifically adapts mental strength principles to dyadic relationships. It expands on teamwork strategies briefly mentioned in 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.

• The “Conflict Autopsy” technique for post-fight analysis
• The “Emotional Temperature Check” daily ritual
• Shared goal-setting templates for alignment

These tools help couples implement concepts immediately.

Morin advocates for strategic vulnerability—sharing feelings without weaponizing them. She provides scripts for expressing needs constructively and guidelines for rebuilding trust after breaches.

The text emphasizes maintaining personal identities within partnerships, with exercises like:

• Solo reflection journals
• Independent goal tracking
• “Alone time” scheduling strategies

This balances couple cohesion with self-growth.