How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk book cover

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk by John Van Epp Summary

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk
John Van Epp
4.16 (1823 Reviews)
Relationship
Self-growth
Psychology
Communication skill
概述
核心要点
作者
常见问题

Overview of How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk

In "How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk," relationship expert John Van Epp reveals the psychology behind toxic attraction. With 4.16/5 stars from 1,735 readers, this controversial guide challenges conventional dating wisdom. College professors teach it - yet some call it misogynistic. Will you trust your heart?

Similar books to How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk

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核心要点

1

The Science Behind Love's Blindness

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Ever wonder why smart people make terrible relationship choices? When we're infatuated, our brains actually suppress neural activity associated with critical judgment while releasing hormones that create euphoric feelings. This biological cocktail explains why Charlotte overlooked James's emotional detachment, why Marc tolerated Jenell's one-sided demands, and why Tasha missed Duane's controlling tendencies until after marriage. Each believed they knew their partner, but their attachment overrode their judgment. Throughout most of human history, approximately 80% of cultures practiced arranged marriages focused on compatibility rather than romance. Family elders vetted potential partners, emphasizing practical considerations over emotional connection. While this system had obvious drawbacks, it provided safeguards that modern dating lacks. Today, we're expected to make this life-altering decision based primarily on feelings designed to override critical thinking. It's like performing brain surgery while intoxicated-the very state we're in makes clear judgment nearly impossible. This is where the Relationship Attachment Model (RAM) becomes invaluable. Rather than fighting our natural tendency to form attachments, it provides a structured approach that keeps both heart and head engaged throughout the relationship-building process.

2

The Five Sliders of Healthy Attachment

3

Finding Your Best Self First

4

The Three Cs of True Compatibility

5

Relationship Patterns Reveal Future Treatment

6

The Conscience: Your Partner's Moral Compass

7

Sexual Involvement: The Final Bonding Dynamic

探索你的学习方式
《How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk》不仅仅是一本书——它是Relationship领域的大师课。为了帮助你以最适合的方式吸收书中精华,我们提供五种独特的学习模式。无论你是深度思考者、快速学习者还是故事爱好者,总有一种模式适合你。

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闪卡模式 - 《How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk》精华:8条核心见解

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"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

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"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

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"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

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@Moemenn
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"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
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likes
117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
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star
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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
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12
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108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
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comments
254
likes
17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
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96
likes
4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

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"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

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