What is *Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone* by Amy Gallo about?

*Getting Along* offers evidence-based strategies to navigate challenging workplace relationships. Amy Gallo identifies eight difficult coworker archetypes—like the insecure boss, passive-aggressive peer, and biased colleague—and provides tailored approaches to handle each. The book emphasizes principles such as focusing on controllable actions, managing emotions, and building interpersonal resilience to foster productive dynamics, even when cooperation seems impossible.

Who should read *Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone*?

Professionals at any career stage facing workplace conflicts, managers aiming to improve team dynamics, and HR leaders seeking conflict-resolution frameworks will benefit. It’s ideal for those dealing with stubborn colleagues, toxic environments, or career-limiting tensions. Gallo’s advice is also valuable for remote workers navigating communication hurdles.

Is *Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone* worth reading?

Yes, particularly for its actionable, research-backed strategies. Gallo combines Harvard Business Review insights with real-world examples, offering tools to transform adversarial relationships. The focus on emotional resilience and practical steps (like the “9 principles for getting along”) makes it a standout in workplace communication literature.

What are the 9 principles for getting along in *Getting Along*?

Key principles include: - Focus on what you can control (e.g., your reactions, boundaries). - Recognize that your perspective isn’t universal. - Strategize forward-moving solutions rather than rehashing past conflicts. - Prioritize self-protection when relationships turn harmful. These principles help readers shift from frustration to constructive action.

What are the 8 difficult coworker archetypes in *Getting Along*?

Gallo categorizes challenging colleagues into types like: - **The Insecure Boss** (micromanagers needing validation). - **The Passive-Aggressive Peer** (indirect communicators). - **The Biased Coworker** (prone to stereotypes). - **The Know-It-All** (dismissive of others’ input). Each archetype comes with tailored tactics to neutralize tension.

How does Amy Gallo suggest handling a passive-aggressive colleague?

Address behavior directly but calmly—e.g., “I noticed the report wasn’t shared. Can we discuss timelines?” Set clear expectations and document interactions. Avoid retaliatory tactics; instead, focus on solutions that minimize ambiguity. For chronic cases, limit dependence on them and seek support from allies.

What is the main message of *Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone*?

Workplace relationships thrive when you focus on *your* responses, not others’ flaws. By combining empathy with strategic boundaries, you can reduce conflict’s emotional toll and protect your career. It’s not about fixing difficult people but managing interactions to preserve your peace and productivity.

Does *Getting Along* provide advice for dealing with biased coworkers?

Yes. For biased colleagues, Gallo advises calmly naming problematic behavior (e.g., “That comment stereotypes our team”) and escalating if needed. She also emphasizes documenting incidents, building alliances, and prioritizing psychological safety—especially for marginalized groups.

与人相处

如何与任何人合作（甚至是难以相处的人）

艾米·加洛

3.7(882 Reviews)

《与人相处》概述

职场紧张局势正在毁掉你的职业生涯吗？艾米·加洛（Amy Gallo）的《相处之道》（Getting Along）——被《财富》杂志列为必读书目——为处理八种困难人格类型提供了有研究支持的策略。探索为什么工作满意度更多地取决于人际关系而非头衔，以及为什么即使是悲观主义者也能成为你的盟友。

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第 1 章

When Workplace Relationships Go Sour: A Guide to Navigating Difficult Colleagues

Ever caught yourself dreading Monday morning not because of the work itself, but because of that one colleague who makes your professional life miserable? You're not alone. In Amy Gallo's groundbreaking book "Getting Along," she tackles the universal challenge that affects nearly everyone's career at some point. This isn't just another workplace manual-it's consistently ranked among the most practical business books of recent years, with executives from Google to Goldman Sachs citing it as required reading for their leadership teams. Even Michelle Obama mentioned it during her last book tour as a resource that helped her navigate White House politics. What makes Gallo's approach so revolutionary is her rejection of the one-size-fits-all advice that dominates conflict literature, instead offering a nuanced framework for understanding and addressing the specific archetypes of difficult colleagues we all encounter.

第 2 章

The Hidden Cost of Toxic Work Relationships

We spend more hours with colleagues than with family or friends-Americans work longer weeks and more weeks per year than they did in 1980, effectively adding an entire month to our annual work calendar. Even on weekends and holidays, 30% of full-time employees report working. Technology has only compounded this by enabling constant availability, making us perpetually "on" and thinking about work-related concerns. Despite our attempts to downplay workplace relationships, they ultimately make or break our experience and success on the job. Research strongly supports workplace friendships-Surgeon General Vivek Murthy notes that friendships provide "emotional sustenance and power we need to thrive." Social connections predict cognitive functioning, resilience, and engagement. Teams of friends perform better, supportive coworkers reduce stress, and close colleagues increase information-sharing and learning. But unhealthy workplace relationships cause extensive damage, often more than we realize. Christine Porath's research reveals 98% of people have experienced workplace rudeness, with devastating effects: 48% intentionally decreased work effort, 66% suffered performance declines, and 78% reduced organizational commitment. An Israeli study with medical teams showed those berated by a visiting expert made 20% less accurate diagnoses and conducted 15% less effective procedures. Rudeness causes "cognitive disruption," inhibiting clear thinking and creative work. The health consequences are equally serious. Swedish scientists found employees who perceived their managers as incompetent faced greater risk of heart problems, with risk increasing the longer they stayed at the company. Another study showed that wounds inflicted on couples with relationship animosity took twice as long to heal, demonstrating how negative interactions impair the body's ability to repair itself. These difficult relationships create "emotional shrapnel" affecting everyone in their orbit-colleagues, friends, and family. Jane Dutton notes that "incivility rarely stays contained" but spirals throughout organizations. The organizational stakes are high: 65% of startups fail due to founder conflict, and employees who perceive coworkers as difficult are twice as likely to quit, with top talent at greatest flight risk. Most concerning, negative relationships have disproportionate impact-Porath found deenergizing relationships affect well-being four to seven times more than positive ones. Even ambivalent relationships (sometimes positive, sometimes negative) can be more physiologically harmful than consistently negative ones.

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第 3 章

Understanding Your Brain's Response to Conflict

When we perceive relationship ruptures-a snarky email, a colleague turning off their camera, or an eye roll-our brain reacts as if we're in physical danger. This "amygdala hijack" (term from Daniel Goleman) dominates executive functions, putting us on autopilot. Our bodies release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, triggering physical warning signs: tingling at the back of the head, shoulders rising, jaw clenching, and sweaty palms. Our brains are highly attuned to even small threatening incidents due to negativity bias-we pay more attention to negative events than positive ones. You might report having a "terrible" day when just one brief meeting with a passive-aggressive colleague spoiled an otherwise fine day. Beyond capturing our attention, negative interactions trigger stronger brain reactions and can feel physically painful. The sting of workplace conflict isn't just metaphorical. Neuroscience shows our brains interpret being devalued, ignored, shamed or rejected in ways similar to physical pain. UCLA brain imaging research reveals that feeling excluded activates the same brain regions that process physical pain. During conflict, our brains make snap judgments to conserve resources, often creating inaccurate stories. Like when I noticed a colleague mute himself and look away during a Zoom meeting, my brain immediately concluded he was checking emails and not valuing my input. I was wrong-his teenage son had brought him pancakes. To create space between trigger and response, try these techniques: • Observe your reactions without judgment • Reappraise the situation by considering alternative interpretations • Monitor your stress levels and physical needs • Give yourself time-emotions naturally diminish with distance Remember that your difficult colleague may be experiencing the same amygdala hijack as you-seeing them as a person with a similarly flawed brain can be the first step toward building a better relationship.

第 4 章

The Insecure Manager: Walking on Eggshells Around Fragile Authority

Self-doubt is universal-we all wonder if colleagues think we're smart or if we said something wrong in meetings. A little insecurity can be healthy, promoting introspection and growth-psychologist Ellen Hendriksen notes that only psychopaths have absolutely no self-doubt. Problems arise when people try to conceal or compensate for their insecurities through destructive behaviors. Research shows insecurity actually increases in leadership roles. A UK leadership consultancy found executives' greatest fear was being considered incompetent, followed by underachieving, appearing vulnerable, and seeming foolish. Professors Fast and Chen discovered that powerful people who feel incompetent act more aggressively toward others, even sabotaging them-behavior not typically seen in insecure people without power. Insecure managers create ripple effects beyond personal distress. They cause psychological consequences like increased job stress, anxiety, and self-doubt in their reports. Career prospects suffer when they take credit for others' work or intentionally discredit subordinates. Professor Teresa Amabile found that self-doubting managers give harsher performance reviews, perhaps to prove their own intelligence. Organizationally, insecure managers resist feedback and ignore employee ideas-Fast's research showed the less competent managers felt, the less likely they were to solicit input. Before addressing an insecure boss, examine your evidence-could you be misinterpreting caution or culturally-influenced modesty as insecurity? Assess the actual impact-is the behavior merely annoying or truly damaging? Consider your role-might you be triggering their insecurity by hogging spotlight or challenging them publicly? Finally, understand their deeper motivations-everyone ultimately wants to feel adequate and valued. To improve the relationship, consider their legitimate pressures-hitting targets, managing workplace changes, or other stressors you might not see. Position yourself as their ally by sharing credit generously and using "we" language. Signal you're not a threat through warm interactions and careful phrasing that doesn't challenge their intelligence. Offer genuine compliments and express appreciation, especially in front of others whose opinions matter to them. Help micromanaging bosses feel in charge by using phrases like "What we do is ultimately up to you" or "I trust you to make the right decision." Keep them updated on your work and connections, especially with other departments. Schedule regular check-ins to share progress on projects they care about. Research shows asking questions instead of providing answers boosts their feelings of control.

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第 5 章

The Pessimist: Navigating Perpetual Naysayers

Pessimism has three key elements: outlook (believing negative outcomes are inevitable), agency (feeling powerless to change outcomes), and behavior (actions like complaining or criticizing others' ideas). Understanding pessimists requires examining motivational focus. Prevention-focused individuals prioritize safety and see tasks as obstacles to overcome, working slowly and meticulously to avoid mistakes. They're uncomfortable with praise, prepared for worst-case scenarios, and stick to tried-and-true methods. In contrast, promotion-focused people think positively about the future, work quickly, brainstorm alternatives, and embrace opportunities. For many pessimists, imagining worst-case scenarios serves as a defense mechanism against anxiety. By anticipating everything that could go wrong, they believe they're protecting themselves and others. Contrary to the assumption that pessimists are avoiding responsibility or being lazy, research by Eileen Chou reveals they often find a sense of control in their negativity. By disagreeing with the group, they assert autonomy. Surprisingly, others perceive these contrarians as more authoritative and are likelier to choose them as leaders. Sometimes pessimism stems from resentment, as with Phillippe who undermined his newly promoted colleague Audrey by dismissing all her ideas. After being passed over for promotion, he spent months claiming her initiatives had "already been tried" and were "a complete failure." This cynical attitude often appears in people who don't feel valued or respected. Pessimism extracts a heavy toll not just on pessimists themselves-who experience more anxiety, depression, stress, slower recovery from setbacks, reduced creativity, and even greater financial troubles-but also on those around them. Since emotions are contagious, working with a pessimist can leave you demoralized, anxious, and doubting your efficacy. Even one pessimist, especially in a position of authority, can erode trust, reduce satisfaction, and poison organizational culture. Before responding to a pessimist, understand what drives their negativity. Are they anxious about failure? Afraid of wasting time? Simply overworked? Consider whether their concerns might be legitimate-pessimists provide balance by identifying risks optimists might miss and encouraging caution when others rush forward. Identify specific problematic behaviors rather than making broad generalizations about their attitude. To work effectively with pessimists, reframe their cynicism as a gift-their ability to spot potential flaws could prevent disasters. Formalize their talent by appointing them as the team's devil's advocate or "disagreer-in-chief." Challenge their assumptions by asking for clarification or alternatives: "What can we do to make sure the project does win approval?" Help them understand when their negativity helps and when it hurts. Counter their influence by establishing team norms where criticism must be accompanied by suggestions. Finally, protect yourself by spending time with more positive coworkers who lift you up rather than drag you down.

第 6 章

The Victim: Breaking the Cycle of Blame and Helplessness

People with victim mentalities share pessimists' negative outlook and lack of agency, but uniquely believe others are at fault for their problems. Researchers call this "tendency for interpersonal victimhood" (TIV)-"an ongoing feeling that the self is a victim" across different relationships. While most people brush off unpleasant incidents or confront them directly, those with TIV see these as evidence they're uniquely vulnerable to suffering. Psychoanalyst Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries describes this as "victim syndrome," where people center conversations on their problems, expect the worst, act like martyrs, and never take responsibility. Though often rooted in real trauma, many maintain this attitude because it garners attention, sympathy, or justifies seeking retribution. Unlike pessimism, which can sometimes identify risks others miss, a victim's attitude rarely offers benefits and mainly irritates colleagues. The primary cost is emotional contagion-their insistence that things are bad and unchangeable can spread, making you wonder if circumstances are against you too. Before responding to victim behavior, consider whether your colleague might actually be experiencing legitimate mistreatment. Sometimes claims of unfair treatment are valid responses to workplace discrimination. Also observe what triggers their victim attitude-does it emerge during tough feedback, when they're solely responsible for something important, or around specific people? Many strategies that work with pessimists also help with victims, like maintaining group positivity and providing counternarratives to their complaints. Offer genuine positive reinforcement and appreciation for their contributions, but avoid creating a pattern where they only receive compliments when complaining. Rather than directly contradicting their feelings of powerlessness, acknowledge their frustration then ask what they would do if they had authority to act. When victims deflect responsibility, try directly stating "I see this as your responsibility-let's talk about why you don't." Alternatively, offer to share responsibility when appropriate to ease defensiveness. Counterintuitively, when someone feels stuck and helpless, encouraging them to help others can break their negative cycle. Research shows that giving time, money or support improves our own happiness. Finally, protect yourself from their paranoia, finger-pointing, or lack of accountability by setting boundaries. When they start complaining, change the subject or excuse yourself to focus on work. By co-owning responsibilities and emphasizing shared accountability, you can help them complain less and become more solution-oriented.

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第 7 章

The Passive-Aggressive Peer: Decoding Mixed Messages

Passive-aggressive colleagues often fear looking incompetent or being rejected. Rather than admitting they can't complete a task, they deflect problems back onto you. This behavior can seem intentionally deceitful when they're actually trying to protect themselves from looking bad. As Columbia professor E. Tory Higgins explains, many labeled as passive-aggressive are actually being extremely careful to avoid mistakes-a previously successful strategy that breaks down when faced with demands they perceive as unreasonable. People who fit this archetype generally avoid conflict, using subtle methods rather than direct communication. Past negative workplace experiences may have taught them it's unsafe to openly disagree. Organizational culture plays a role too-when direct disagreement isn't normalized or when goals and performance metrics aren't clear, employees resort to passive-aggression while navigating uncertainty. Those with less organizational power often use passive-aggressive tactics when more direct approaches might damage their careers. In many cultures, women are socialized against expressing their thoughts directly, making passive-aggression a more acceptable way to communicate. The "double bind" forces women to choose between being seen as competent but unlikable or likable but not leadership material, potentially driving them toward indirect communication that complies with gender norms. Dealing with passive-aggressive colleagues takes a serious toll. You constantly question yourself, wondering if you're imagining attacks or losing your mind. The inability to trust your colleague damages morale and can lead to burnout. Teams with passive-aggressive members make slower decisions, communicate ineffectively, and engage in unhealthy conflict. One study revealed organizations with passive-aggressive cultures were about half as profitable as their peers. Before responding, reflect on whether their behavior might be triggered by something unrelated to you-perhaps they're feeling insecure, afraid of making mistakes, or worried about their reputation. Examine your company culture and psychological safety levels. Be honest about whether they're truly trying to hurt you or might be struggling with anxiety. Consider if past experiences are coloring your current interactions through confirmation bias. While there's no universal script for handling passive-aggressive coworkers, several approaches can improve your relationship. Avoid directly labeling their behavior as "passive-aggressive," as this will only escalate tensions. Instead, focus on the content of their communication rather than the delivery method. Try to understand what your colleague is truly trying to communicate. Open up conversations by respectfully asking what's happening without judgment: "I've noticed you haven't been responding to my emails. Is everything okay?" Keep your written responses professional and brief when they make jabs, and move difficult conversations to phone, video, or in-person settings whenever possible. Make direct requests by sticking to facts without emotion or judgment. Enlist teammates' help rather than handling the situation alone, and if you're a manager, establish and reinforce group norms that empower team members to hold each other accountable.

第 8 章

The Know-It-All: Managing Overconfidence and Arrogance

The know-it-all archetype displays hallmarks like monopolizing conversations, refusing interruptions, condescending to others, rarely showing curiosity, and stealing credit. While we might label such colleagues as "narcissists," true narcissistic personality disorder is rare (affecting only 0.5% of the US population). Our society often rewards overconfidence, which unfortunately perpetuates this behavior in workplaces. Research consistently shows we overestimate our abilities. Students overpredict test performance, MBA graduates overestimate job offers and salaries, and 74% of drivers believe they're better than average-a statistical impossibility. This overconfidence is contagious within teams. Men typically display more overconfidence than women due to socialization, with women often being penalized for promoting their accomplishments. Mansplaining occurs when a man condescendingly explains something while wrongly assuming superior expertise. Research confirms this isn't merely anecdotal: men, particularly powerful ones, dominate speaking time in meetings. When women are outnumbered, they speak 25-33% less than men. Men interrupt more frequently and yield less when interrupted themselves. Know-it-all behavior can stem from organizational cultures that reward certainty over thoughtfulness, treating decision-making as competitive rather than collaborative. Cultural differences also influence communication styles-Italians, Germans, and Israelis often view assertiveness as engagement rather than rudeness. Power dynamics play a crucial role too; research shows people made to feel powerful value their own ideas over expert advice and tend to dominate discussions. Many know-it-alls are actually covering insecurities. Working with know-it-alls damages both individuals and organizations. When colleagues speak condescendingly, especially publicly, it undermines your expertise, hurts your confidence, and may cause you to withdraw from important discussions. This can directly impact your performance reviews, promotions, and compensation. Companies also lose when overconfident but underqualified people rise to leadership positions. Consider whether your colleague's egotism compensates for insecurity or fear. Evaluate whether their confidence aligns with their actual expertise. Be aware of your own biases about who belongs in positions of authority, and examine your own sensitivity to confidence in others. Distinguish between irritating behavior and genuinely disruptive actions that prevent work from getting done. To work effectively with know-it-alls, look beyond the arrogance to find genuine contributions they make. Preemptively request that people refrain from interjecting by saying something like "Please hold comments until I'm done." Create team norms like "take space, make space" to distribute participation more equitably in meetings. When know-it-alls make sweeping proclamations without evidence, respectfully ask for their sources or data. Demonstrate that expressing uncertainty carries no negative consequences by saying "I don't know" or "Let me get back to you." Sometimes directly addressing the behavior in private is necessary: "Whenever we discuss decisions, you assert yourself with such force that it's hard to continue the conversation."

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第 9 章

Nine Principles for Getting Along with Anyone

While specific tactics help with different archetypes, certain principles apply universally to improve workplace relationships: 1. Focus on what you can control: Rather than trying to force someone else to change, focus on your approach, feedback, and responses. As Adam Grant notes, "All I can do is try to understand their thinking and ask if they're open to some rethinking. The rest is up to them." 2. Your perspective is just one perspective: We often fall victim to naive realism-believing we see things objectively while others who disagree must be uninformed or biased. Instead of debating whose interpretation is correct, acknowledge that different perspectives are equally valid. 3. Be aware of your biases: Our definition of "difficult" behavior is shaped by our biases. Affinity bias makes us prefer people similar to ourselves, while confirmation bias leads us to interpret events as confirming our existing beliefs. Interrupt these biases by getting to know them, exploring different perspectives, and questioning your interpretations. 4. Don't make it 'me against them': Visualize three entities: you, your colleague, and the dynamic between you. This approach separates people from problems-a core Harvard Negotiation Project principle. See your difficult relationship as something to solve collaboratively rather than combatively. 5. Rely on empathy: Research shows we typically overestimate how much others intend to harm us. Rather than assuming your colleague deliberately took credit for your work, try giving them the benefit of the doubt. Ask what pressures they might be under or what might explain their behavior. 6. Know your goal: Clarity about what you want helps you avoid drama and stay focused. Your goals might include moving a project forward, establishing a healthy working relationship, or simply feeling less frustrated after interactions. 7. Avoid gossip, mostly: While gossip can confirm you're not misinterpreting situations and build bonds with colleagues, it reinforces confirmation bias and can damage your reputation. Choose confidants who are constructive, supportive, challenging when necessary, and discreet. 8. Experiment to find what works: There's no universal solution for improving difficult relationships. Design small experiments with specific approaches and timeframes-like ignoring a passive-aggressive colleague's tone for two weeks to focus on their underlying message. 9. Be-and stay-curious: When facing challenging workplace relationships, it's easy to resign yourself to thinking "this is how it will always be." Reject complacency and pessimism in favor of curiosity. Research shows curiosity helps us avoid confirmation bias, prevent stereotyping, and stay out of amygdala hijack.

第 10 章

When All Else Fails: Protecting Yourself

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the tactics in this book won't work. Before giving up completely, there are several strategies to protect your career, reputation, and sanity. Establish boundaries by minimizing your exposure to difficult colleagues. Find ways to reduce dependency on problematic coworkers-perhaps by requesting reassignment from troublesome clients or building relationships with alternative contacts in departments where you have difficult colleagues. Use the "two-minute drill" approach: determine exactly what you need from your uncooperative colleague and the minimum time required to get it. Keep detailed records of problematic behavior, noting time, place, what was said or done, by whom, and who witnessed it. Also document your own responses. This helps establish patterns of destructive behavior if you need to escalate issues later. Equally important, document your successes to prevent them from being diminished by difficult colleagues. As a last resort, consider escalating issues to someone with authority. When doing so, avoid appearing vindictive or complaining. Frame the conversation as an effort to create a better working relationship, and be prepared to explain what steps you've already taken. Tie problems to concrete business results and provide evidence to back your claims. Leaving your job because of a difficult colleague is an extreme response, but sometimes justified. About one in eight people who report being treated poorly leave their job because of incivility. If quitting isn't immediately feasible, set parameters for how long you'll stay: "I'll stick it out for four months, and if these three things don't change, I'll start sending out my resume."

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第 11 章

Taking Care: Prioritizing Your Wellbeing

Self-care must be your priority when dealing with difficult workplace relationships. Even small steps to preserve your mental health can buffer you from the damage of unhealthy interactions. When feeling trapped in difficult workplace relationships, focus on what you can control. Start with basics: getting good sleep, eating well, exercising, and spending time outdoors. Even small progress in one area reduces feelings of helplessness. Freedom over how you spend your time and energy diminishes feeling stuck. While gossiping about difficult coworkers should be avoided, venting confidentially to someone you trust can relieve stress and prevent negative emotions from contaminating other interactions. Writing can also be therapeutic-spend a few minutes documenting your unfiltered thoughts about challenging situations. Even one negative relationship can overshadow your work life, but you can create what Annie McKee calls a "microculture" with like-minded colleagues who value positive interactions. You don't need to change your entire organization-just build a coalition committed to similar goals and values within your immediate sphere. When work relationships drain you, having fulfilling activities elsewhere becomes crucial. Christine Porath's research shows that thriving outside work strongly correlates with thriving at work. People who reported flourishing in non-work activities experienced 80% better health, 89% greater workplace thriving, and 38% more satisfaction with handling colleague mistreatment. Building emotional reserves helps you bounce back from challenging interactions. Reflect on past successes: When have you overcome setbacks? What steps did you take? Who supported you? Practice "benefit finding"-identifying valuable lessons from difficult relationships, which research shows improves wellbeing and resilience. While empathizing with difficult colleagues is important, don't neglect self-compassion. Research shows self-compassion leads to stronger growth motivation, higher emotional intelligence, deeper resilience, and greater compassion toward others. Kristen Neff identifies three elements of self-compassion: awareness of negative emotions, recognizing common humanity, and self-kindness. The ability to navigate friction with others isn't just a work skill but a life skill. Disagreements are normal and can lead to new ideas, stronger bonds, and refreshing candor when approached with respect, compassion, and kindness. Better relationships at work and beyond are possible-and we deserve them.

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《与人相处》核心主题

workplace conflict resolution
difficult colleague archetypes
managing toxic dynamics
professional relationship management
emotional intelligence at work

《与人相处》经典语录

Despite our attempts to downplay workplace relationships, they ultimately make or break our experience.
Incivility rarely stays contained but spirals throughout organizations.
Negative relationships have disproportionate impact.
Our brains are highly attuned to even small threatening incidents due to negativity bias.
Only psychopaths have absolutely no self-doubt.

《与人相处》主要人物

Amy GalloAuthor and workplace conflict expert
Vivek MurthySurgeon General who researches social connection
Christine PorathResearcher focused on workplace rudeness
Jane DuttonScholar who studies organizational incivility

关于作者

艾米·加洛（Amy Gallo）是《如何与任何人共事（即使是那些难相处的人）》（Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People)）一书的作者，也是著名的职场动态专家和《哈佛商业评论》特约编辑。她专注于冲突解决和沟通领域，其工作将基于研究的策略与改善职业关系的实用框架相结合。

作为一名资深的演讲者和 Katzenbach Partners 的前管理顾问，加洛借鉴了她为科技、医疗等各行业领导者提供辅导的经验。她共同主持了《哈佛商业评论》的 Women at Work 播客，探讨性别平等挑战，她的见解曾被《纽约时报》、BBC 和《快公司》（Fast Company）报道。

加洛的专业知识在她早前的著作《HBR 冲突处理指南》（HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict）中得到了进一步展现，这是一本关于进行建设性职业争论的手册。她入选了 Thinkers50 2023年度 Radar 榜单，并被评为 LinkedIn 性别平等领域的“顶级声音”（Top Voice）。她还出演了《哈佛商业评论》获得威比奖（Webby Award）的职场沟通系列视频。她的建议以心理学和组织行为学为基础，被广泛应用于全球的企业培训项目和领导力发展计划中。

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This plan is essential for high-achievers who feel stuck despite their efforts, offering a path to success through internal alignment rather than sheer force. It is designed for individuals seeking to harmonize their emotional health, interpersonal relationships, and daily productivity.

1 h 12 m•3 章节

学习计划

Thrive in Nice Nasty Workplaces

This plan is essential for professionals navigating toxic environments hidden behind a facade of politeness. It benefits anyone facing passive aggression or gaslighting who needs actionable strategies to reclaim their agency and well-being.

1 h 30 m•3 章节

学习计划

The Art of Conversational Competence

In an era where communication defines professional success, mastering the nuances of human interaction is essential. This plan is designed for leaders and professionals who need to navigate high-stakes conflicts and persuade diverse audiences with poise.

2 h•4 章节

学习计划

Stop the Office Drama

Toxic workplace dynamics can drain productivity and damage mental health. This plan is essential for professionals seeking to navigate difficult personalities and eliminate gossip while maintaining their professional integrity.

2 h•4 章节

由哥伦比亚大学校友在旧金山创建

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1,000,000+ curious minds.

4.7

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1M+ learners

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@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

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@Raaaaaachelw

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@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

查看更多网络上关于 BeFreed 的讨论

由哥伦比亚大学校友在旧金山创建

LOVED BY

1,000,000+ curious minds.

4.7

avg rating

1M+ learners

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

查看更多网络上关于 BeFreed 的讨论

开启你的学习之旅，就是现在

第 8 章

与人相处

概述《与人相处》概述

一本书，多种聆听方式。

When Workplace Relationships Go Sour: A Guide to Navigating Difficult Colleagues

The Hidden Cost of Toxic Work Relationships

边听边看，每个词都清晰呈现

Understanding Your Brain's Response to Conflict

The Insecure Manager: Walking on Eggshells Around Fragile Authority

从 《与人相处》中收获更多

The Pessimist: Navigating Perpetual Naysayers

The Victim: Breaking the Cycle of Blame and Helplessness

边听边看，每个词都清晰呈现

The Passive-Aggressive Peer: Decoding Mixed Messages

The Know-It-All: Managing Overconfidence and Arrogance

从 《与人相处》中收获更多

Nine Principles for Getting Along with Anyone

When All Else Fails: Protecting Yourself

边听边看，每个词都清晰呈现

Taking Care: Prioritizing Your Wellbeing

你已读完 《与人相处》

《与人相处》核心主题

《与人相处》经典语录

《与人相处》主要人物

关于作者

下载《与人相处》摘要

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关于本书的常见问题

What is Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone by Amy Gallo about?

Who should read Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone?

Is Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone worth reading?

What are the 9 principles for getting along in Getting Along?

该学习计划的一部分

Workplace conflicts

Build self-respect & handle work power plays

发现更多

1,000,000+ curious minds.

1,000,000+ curious minds.

一本书，多种聆听方式。

When Workplace Relationships Go Sour: A Guide to Navigating Difficult Colleagues

The Hidden Cost of Toxic Work Relationships

边听边看，每个词都清晰呈现

Understanding Your Brain's Response to Conflict

The Insecure Manager: Walking on Eggshells Around Fragile Authority

从 《与人相处》中收获更多

The Pessimist: Navigating Perpetual Naysayers

The Victim: Breaking the Cycle of Blame and Helplessness

边听边看，每个词都清晰呈现

The Passive-Aggressive Peer: Decoding Mixed Messages

The Know-It-All: Managing Overconfidence and Arrogance

从 《与人相处》中收获更多

Nine Principles for Getting Along with Anyone

When All Else Fails: Protecting Yourself

边听边看，每个词都清晰呈现

Taking Care: Prioritizing Your Wellbeing

你已读完 《与人相处》

用户还喜欢

该学习计划的一部分

Workplace conflicts

Build self-respect & handle work power plays

发现更多

《与人相处》概述

从《与人相处》中收获更多

从《与人相处》中收获更多

你已读完《与人相处》

从《与人相处》中收获更多

从《与人相处》中收获更多

你已读完《与人相处》