The Peril of Contempt: Being Alive in Christ Amidst Polarization

When you look at the current state of public life, it feels like the air has become heavy with a specific kind of bitterness. It is no longer just that we disagree with our neighbors about taxes or school boards—it is that we have begun to see the person across the street as fundamentally broken or even evil. A recent survey from Pew reveals a staggering reality: the United States is the only nation in the world where a majority of people actually believe their fellow citizens are "immoral and corrupt" . This is a profound shift in the American psyche. We are moving away from being a people who debate ideas toward being a people who despise each other. If you are preparing to stand before a congregation and speak about the state of the world, this is the landscape you are navigating. It is a world where trust is being drained out of the system, and as social psychologists warn, we don't actually know if a democracy can survive once that trust is gone . This matters to you because your role as a leader involves helping people navigate these "toxic" waters while remaining "alive in Christ" . The peril we face is not just political; it is a spiritual crisis that threatens to break the bonds that hold us together as a community and as children of God. Understanding the depth of this contempt is the first step toward finding a way out. So, let’s dive into why this polarization has become so uniquely dangerous in our time.

The anniversary of a nation is usually a time for unalloyed celebration, but as we approach the 250-year mark of the Declaration of Independence, the mood is undeniably somber. We are living through what some legal experts call the most serious constitutional crisis since the Civil War . But here is the nuance you need to capture: the crisis isn't necessarily found in the halls of Congress or the fine print of executive orders. The real crisis is the "cancer" of toxic polarization that is eating away at our civic life . When you speak to your ward or stake, you are speaking to people who feel this pressure every day on social media and in their own families. The Constitution was built for vigorous disagreement—it was designed to handle a clash of interests—but it was never meant to withstand "irreconcilable contempt" . Contempt is different from anger; it is a cold dismissal of another person’s humanity. It loosens the ties of citizenship and makes the very idea of a "union" feel like a relic of the past. As a high councilman, you have a unique opportunity to bridge this gap. You can point out that while we often think of the Constitution as a shield for our own rights, its deeper purpose might actually be to teach us how to live with people we find difficult to tolerate . This requires a shift from seeing the law as a weapon to seeing it as a framework for relationship. If we lose the ability to trust the person on the other side of the aisle, the entire structural integrity of the republic begins to wobble. We have to ask ourselves if we are contributing to that instability or if we are working to reinforce the foundations.

In the midst of this civic decay, there is a powerful spiritual directive that changes the entire nature of the conversation. Many current writers characterize the time in which we live as toxic, a time of contempt or hostility toward adversaries, but he counters this with a direct command from the Savior: to love our enemies . For a religious audience, this isn't just a nice suggestion for Sunday afternoon; it is a non-negotiable requirement for those who claim to be followers of Christ. When Jesus said to love your enemies, He was talking about the people who actively oppose you—your political rivals, the people whose values seem to contradict your own, and those who use "harsh and hurtful words" in public discourse . This is where the rubber meets the road for a disciple. It is easy to love those who agree with us, but the true test of being "alive in Christ" is how we treat the "adversary" . President Oaks has emphasized that we must forgo the language of contention that dominates our social media feeds and cable news . Instead, we are called to be peacemakers in a very practical sense. This means using the "language and methods of peacemakers" to promote understanding rather than winning an argument . If you are looking for a way to frame this for your talk, consider the idea that our spiritual health is inextricably linked to our civic health. We cannot be fully alive in Christ if we are carrying around a heart full of political contempt. The two are incompatible. We are challenged to see every person—regardless of their voting record—as a child of God who "belong to each other" in a fundamental, eternal way .

One of the most practical tools we have for healing our divisions is a concept President Oaks calls "principled accommodation" . This is a far cry from "giving in" or abandoning your core values. Instead, it is about seeking a "better way" to resolve differences where no one is asked to compromise their most deeply held beliefs, yet everyone finds a way to coexist . You can see this in action with the "Utah Compromise" of 2015. It was a landmark piece of legislation that protected both religious freedom and the rights of the LGBT community . What makes this example so powerful for a religious talk is how it happened. It didn't start with legal briefs; it started around dining room tables . It happened because people who viewed the world very differently sat down, shared a meal, and developed "real relationships" . As they became friends, they stopped seeing each other as ideological caricatures and started seeing the human needs on both sides. This is the "mutual respect" that should define our interactions in a pluralist society . We shouldn't be seeking "total dominance" for our own positions . If we only look for "total victory," we ensure total division. Instead, we should be looking for "fairness for all" . This is "conspicuously countercultural" in a world that demands we pick a side and fight to the finish . But for a follower of Christ, being countercultural is often the point. We are called to seek the welfare of our neighbor as much as our own, ensuring that the protections we want for ourselves are extended to everyone else.

If you want to give your audience a historical anchor, look back to the Constitutional Convention of 1787. It was a moment that almost ended in total failure. By July of that year, the delegates were so angry and divided that George Washington was "dejected" and many feared the convention would simply dissolve . The differences between the states seemed irreconcilable. And yet, they produced a document that has lasted for centuries. How? George Washington later wrote that the Constitution was the result of a "spirit of amity" and "mutual deference" . This is a crucial insight for us today: the document itself only exists because the people in the room were willing to listen to each other. They socialized, they dined together, and they stayed in the same rooms until they found a way forward . They allowed themselves to be "transformed" by the process of truly hearing someone else’s perspective . This "civic charity" was the secret sauce of the American founding . It wasn't just about the cleverness of the laws; it was about the quality of the relationships. The framers knew that their "political situation" made concession indispensable . Today, we often view compromise as a sign of weakness or a betrayal of principle. But the lesson from 1787 is that compromise is a "constitutional duty" . It is the way we "keep" the republic. When you share this story, you can emphasize that the Constitution isn't just a list of rules—it’s a framework that forces us to deal with each other. It’s designed to "drag us into common action" precisely when we disagree the most .

Perhaps the most haunting warning in American history comes from Abraham Lincoln on the eve of the Civil War. He pleaded with the nation, saying, "We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies" . He spoke of the "bonds of affection" and the "better angels of our nature" . But as we know, those bonds broke, and the result was catastrophic. The lesson for you to share with your congregation is that these bonds are not self-sustaining. They don't just stay strong on their own; they have to be "chosen, tended, and renewed" . When passion is high, it’s easy to let those bonds snap. But being "alive in Christ" means we are in the business of healing those bonds . We have to actively choose to see our political opponents as friends rather than enemies. This is a tall order when the "mystic chords of memory" seem to be fraying . But notice that Lincoln didn't wait for the other side to be nice before he made his plea. He called for "malice toward none" even in the midst of the most bitter conflict imaginable . This is the "redemptive moral vision" that we are called to uphold . Our duty as citizens and as saints is to be the ones who refuse to let the bonds of affection break. We are the ones who should be reaching across the divide to ask, "What do you think?" . That simple question, asked with genuine curiosity, can do more to heal a community than a thousand political arguments. It acknowledges the other person’s dignity and invites them back into the "chorus of the Union" .

In a democratic government, the goal shouldn't be to crush the opposition. According to President Oaks, the goal is "fairness for all" . This is a radical departure from the "winner-take-all" mentality that dominates our current culture. For a religious audience, this means we must be "insensitive to others' claims" for freedom only at our own peril . If we only care about religious liberty when it applies to us, we aren't actually standing for a principle—we’re just standing for our own interests. President Oaks insists that the freedom we seek must be "not for ourselves alone" . This is where the gospel and the Constitution meet. The Savior taught us how to relate to one another by putting the needs of others on par with our own. When we apply this to the public square, it means we look for solutions where everyone can live according to their conscience. This "principled accommodation" looks at what is gained for the whole community rather than what is surrendered by one side . It requires us to be "more practical and less ideological" . It requires us to listen carefully and understand opposing views until we realize that we actually agree on "most truths," even if we don't agree on all of them . When you help your audience see that they don't have to win every political battle to be faithful, you lower the "toxic" temperature of their lives. You give them permission to be peacemakers. You show them that "Christian love" is big enough to encompass people who do not share our values .

So, what does this actually look like on a Tuesday afternoon or during a heated family dinner? Being a peacemaker is an active role, not a passive one. It requires you to change the way you speak. President Oaks has been very specific: we must "forgo harsh and hurtful words" in all our communications . This includes the comments we leave on social media and the way we talk about public figures. If we want to be "alive in Christ," our language must reflect His love . Secondly, we are called to "seek to reduce human suffering" . Politics often becomes a game of points, but the gospel reminds us that real people are hurting. When we focus on reducing suffering, we often find common ground with people we thought were our enemies. Third, we should "promote understanding among different peoples" . This means doing the hard work of learning why someone feels the way they do before we try to correct them. It means asking that vital question: "What if I’m wrong?" . That kind of humility is a spiritual superpower. It opens doors that contempt has slammed shut. Finally, we must remember that we "belong to each other" . This is perhaps the most fundamental Restoration insight you can share. We aren't just accidental neighbors in a random country; we are children of God who are eternally connected. When we start from the assumption that we belong to each other, the way we handle a disagreement changes. We no longer try to "delete" people from our lives or our society. We try to find a way to stay in the room with them, just like the delegates in 1787.

As you finish your preparations for this talk, remember that the goal is not just to provide information, but to offer a vision of hope. The storm clouds of contempt are real, but they are not the end of the story. The tradition of "civic charity" is still available to us . We can choose to be the "better angels" in our own communities. By following the counsel of a modern prophet to be peacemakers and by honoring the inspired principles of the Constitution, we can help create "a more perfect union" . This is a labor of love that requires us to be "alive in Christ" in every sense of the word . It means seeing the 250th anniversary of the nation not just as a look back at the past, but as a commitment to the future. It’s a commitment to "amity and mutual deference" . It’s a commitment to treat our political adversaries with the respect due to a fellow child of God. When you stand at that pulpit, you are inviting your neighbors to join a "redemptive moral vision" that can save not just our democracy, but our own souls from the poison of contempt . Thank you for taking the time to think deeply about these two powerful sources and how they can guide your congregation. I hope you find strength in the idea that being a peacemaker is the most patriotic—and the most Christian—thing you can do right now. Take a moment to reflect on one person in your life with whom you disagree, and consider how asking "What do you think?" might change the dynamic of that relationship this week. Together, one conversation at a time, we can heal the bonds of affection.