What is *Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession* about?

*Unrequited* examines one-sided romantic obsession through psychological, cultural, and historical lenses, blending memoir, case studies, and research. Lisa A. Phillips critiques societal perceptions of women’s obsessive love, exploring its roots in brain chemistry, gendered double standards, and literary tropes while offering insights into healing.

Who should read *Unrequited*?

This book suits readers interested in psychology, gender studies, or relationship dynamics, as well as individuals navigating unrequited feelings. Mental health professionals and educators will find its analysis of obsession’s societal implications valuable for discussions on gender norms and emotional health.

Is *Unrequited* worth reading?

Yes, for its thorough exploration of romantic obsession’s complexities. While some critics note its broad scope limits depth, it remains a compelling resource for understanding obsession’s psychological mechanisms and cultural context, particularly regarding women’s experiences.

What are the main themes in *Unrequited*?

- **Societal double standards**: How women’s romantic pursuit is pathologized vs. men’s. - **Brain science**: The role of dopamine and reward systems in obsession. - **Literary parallels**: From *Twelfth Night* to modern media, framing obsession as tragic or transformative. - **Healing pathways**: Strategies to reframe obsession into personal growth.

How does Lisa A. Phillips use case studies in *Unrequited*?

Phillips interweaves interviews with women and their obsessions, revealing patterns like idealization, rejection trauma, and boundary-crossing. These narratives humanize the science, illustrating how societal pressures amplify emotional turmoil.

What critiques exist about *Unrequited*?

Some reviewers argue the book’s wide-ranging approach—covering history, literature, psychology, and self-help—results in surface-level analysis rather than deep dives. However, this breadth makes it accessible to general readers.

How does *Unrequited* address gender in romantic obsession?

Phillips highlights societal biases: women’s obsession is often dismissed as “craziness,” while men’s similar behavior is normalized. She ties this to historic stereotypes (e.g., “hysterical” women) and modern media tropes.

What practical advice does *Unrequited* offer?

The book suggests reframing obsession into self-reflection, setting boundaries, and seeking therapy. Phillips emphasizes acknowledging pain without letting it define self-worth, advocating for emotional resilience over fixation.

짝사랑의 심리학

여성과 로맨틱한 집착

리사 A. 필립스

3.77(466 Reviews)

짝사랑의 심리학 개요

짝사랑은 여성을 집착으로 몰아넣습니다 - 리사 필립스는 개인적인 이야기와 문화적 분석을 통해 이 금기시되는 주제를 용기 있게 탐구합니다. 사이콜로지 투데이(Psychology Today)와 NPR에 소개된 이 책은 수백만 명이 겪는 침묵의 고통을 입증합니다. 헌신과 파멸을 가르는 위험한 경계선은 무엇일까요?

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짝사랑의 심리학의 같은 아이디어를 담았습니다. 나에게 맞는 목소리, 깊이, 속도를 고르고 언제든 바꿔 보세요.

1장

When Love Isn't Returned: The Transformative Journey Through Unrequited Desire

Have you ever found yourself obsessively checking your phone, hoping for a message from someone who barely knows you exist? You're not alone. Lisa A. Phillips' raw and revelatory book "Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession" explores the dark, compelling world of one-sided love through both personal confession and scholarly research. The book has become a touchstone for understanding the psychology of unreturned affection, with figures like Taylor Swift citing it as inspiration for exploring rejection's creative potential. Phillips transforms what could be a clinical examination into a gripping narrative that begins with her own shocking confession: she once became so obsessed with a man who rejected her that she showed up at his apartment before dawn, only to be met with a baseball bat and threats to call the police. This startling honesty sets the stage for a compassionate exploration of what happens when desire meets denial, and how the pain of rejection might ultimately lead to profound personal transformation.

2장

The Unwanted Woman's Paradoxical Power

I woke before dawn, unable to escape thoughts of B. Time moved agonizingly forward without him, though I knew he should be with me. That November morning, I hurried to his apartment building, slipped past security, and knocked persistently at his door. When he finally answered, he threatened to call the police, baseball bat in hand. The fear in his eyes jolted me - I had become the very thing I'd always judged: the desperate woman who couldn't let go. This transformation from sane college teacher to obsessive pursuer represents a journey nearly universal in human experience. Research shows that 93 percent of people have experienced unrequited love, yet society judges women who pursue unwanted relationships far more harshly than men. We're comfortable seeing women as objects of desire but uncomfortable when they become active pursuers. Studies reveal that women who openly pursue romantic interests face significantly more social stigma and are often labeled "desperate" or "crazy," while men doing the same are frequently praised for their persistence. The cultural double standard is striking and deeply embedded in our media landscape. Male unrequited lovers are often portrayed as noble or artistic-think of John Cusack holding a boombox outside his beloved's window in "Say Anything," or Shakespeare's Romeo pining for Rosaline before meeting Juliet. Women in the same position are stereotyped as pitiful neurotics or dangerous "bunny boilers" like Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction." This dichotomy reflects our discomfort with female desire and aggression, a bias that extends from Hollywood to everyday life. Consider how we celebrate male musicians writing songs about lost love while mocking Taylor Swift for the same creative expression. What makes this phenomenon particularly troubling is society's blindness to female aggression. Women receive a "gender pass" that minimizes their stalking behaviors, while men who are victims aren't taken seriously. I experienced this firsthand when my friends excused my pursuit of B. rather than calling it what it was-stalking. They used phrases like "she's just going through a phase" or "she's passionate about love," normalizing behavior that would be immediately condemned if the genders were reversed. Police statistics show that male victims of stalking often face skepticism or dismissal when reporting incidents, leading to underreported cases and insufficient protection. Despite these dangers, unrequited love contains transformative potential. Lady Gaga credits rejection with making her "into a fighter," while countless artists and writers have channeled their unrequited passion into creative masterpieces. The pain of wanting someone who doesn't want you back can reveal profound truths about your deepest needs and unfulfilled potential. It forces us to confront our attachment styles, self-worth issues, and patterns of romantic idealization. The question becomes not how to avoid unrequited love entirely, but how to navigate its turbulent waters without drowning-or dragging someone else down with you. This requires developing emotional intelligence, respecting boundaries, and learning to transform obsessive energy into self-growth and creative expression.

들리는 모든 단어를 눈으로 확인하세요

짝사랑의 심리학의 각 단어가 오디오에 맞춰 실시간으로 강조되어 편하게 따라 읽을 수 있습니다.

3장

The Sweet Torment of Unsatisfied Desire

B. and I met in a theater seminar where our intense discussions seemed to exclude everyone else. Though attracted to him, I initially pursued other relationships. After my breakup with a struggling writer, I reconnected with B., who confessed he'd once had a crush on me. Though he was dating an older Russian actress, he mentioned they planned to part ways soon. I deliberately chose B. precisely because he wasn't fully available. Wounded from my recent breakup, I craved possibility without immediate commitment. We spent that summer in a carefully restrained friendship-walks through parks, movies, and rooftop guitar sessions where he playfully called me "Phillips," perhaps to maintain our disciplined boundaries. This paradoxical desire-wanting someone you can't have-drives our greatest literature and entertainment. From Edith Wharton's never-consummated couples to television series like Friends and Gossip Girl, unsatisfied desire creates narrative tension that mutual love cannot sustain. Ancient Egyptians defined love as "a long desire," recognizing that wanting, not having, generates the most powerful emotions. When unrequited love transforms into reciprocated love, stories typically end, as in Jane Austen's novels or classic romantic comedies. The reality after "happily ever after"-shown briefly in The Graduate's final scene-is inevitably less dramatic than the pursuit. Consider Katherine's story. Her perpetual cycles of unrequited love reveal the value of emotional honesty-allowing herself to feel love even when it can't be returned. Rather than pretending her marriage fulfills all her needs, she acknowledges the pain of human aloneness. The French writer Stendhal illuminates this perspective, suggesting that the sweet spot of passionate love lies in the quest itself. He valued the vector of desire over its consummation, believing that approaching your beloved's door holds more enchantment than having it open. Face-to-face interaction risks disappointment, taking you "away from the enchanted gardens of the imagination." Why do we resist this wisdom? I certainly did, refusing to accept B.'s rejection because I perceived being unwanted as failure. Yet unrequited desire-those bittersweet days of seeing your beloved glitter with "not yet"-holds value even without fulfillment. During this suspended state, we plant zinnias, share vulnerabilities, and imagine emotional utopias while living inside the suspense of "Do you love me?" The problems arise only when we refuse to hear the answers.

4장

The Persistence Script: When Determination Becomes Delusion

After a summer of unrequited love for B., my patience dissolved when he kissed me but wouldn't commit. Despite his continued relationship with his girlfriend, I clung to hope, believing his relationship was doomed and we were destined to be together. My determination followed what psychology researchers Baumeister and Wotman identify as the distinct social script of unrequited love: perseverance will eventually win over the beloved. This script pervades our culture: from Nicholas and Alexandra's historical romance to modern films like "Some Kind of Wonderful" and Taylor Swift's "You Belong with Me" music video. The message remains consistent-if you persevere, your beloved will eventually recognize you're meant to be together. This script positions unrequited love as merely love not YET returned-a caterpillar destined to become a butterfly. Laying bare these dynamics doesn't absolve anyone of responsibility. Rejecters often indulge their ambivalence, creating confusion and pain for both parties. Yet the unwanted woman deserves credit for her purposefulness amid today's capricious mating landscape. She approaches love with qualities valued in other life areas: strategizing, facing obstacles with patience, problem-solving, and perseverance. This explains the "motivational paradox" of unrequited love. While we don't receive the self-expansion benefits of mutual love, we persist because we have a goal to pursue. The more we believe success is possible and value the relationship goal, the stronger our attachment grows. Our feelings often endure because the beloved becomes linked to higher-order goals like caretaking, happiness, self-worth, or dreams of partnership. This "goal linking" makes the beloved represent something beyond themselves-abandoning them feels like abandoning fundamental desires. Maria's story exemplifies this dynamic. Widowed after 35 years with a husband she never deeply loved, she pursued Scott, a devout, health-conscious bachelor who shared her Catholic values. After her husband's death, she initiated contact with Scott, courted him ardently, and even became physically intimate despite his celibacy vow. When he withdrew, she visited his workplace weekly hoping to reconnect. Though heartbroken by his rejection, Maria valued having actively chosen someone aligned with her values rather than passively waiting to be chosen as she'd done in her youth. Her pursuit represented not just desire for Scott specifically, but for autonomy in relationship choices.

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5장

The Doubting Madness: When Love Becomes Obsession

Nineteenth-century French psychiatrists called obsession "la manie du doute"-the doubting madness-because for the obsessed, no reassurance is ever enough. This manifests as the question "Do you love me?" repeating endlessly, drowning out all other thoughts. Susan Cheever questions why we celebrate romantic obsession when we'd be horrified by similar enslavement to substances. For the unrequited lover, obsession seems particularly pathological-running on empty with no evidence their love leads anywhere. Psychologist Albert Wakin notes that while limerence typically shouldn't be diagnosed until a relationship has lasted six months, immediate emotional rollercoasters over someone who "hardly knows I exist" can be recognized as problematic from the start. The neurochemistry of passionate love offers comfort to the obsessed-a scientific explanation for feeling addicted and out of control. Modern treatment approaches include cognitive behavioral therapy and antidepressants, which helped Samara overcome her obsession with Jim. By the time he married "Wonder Woman," she could compartmentalize her feelings enough to function normally. Yet pharmaceutical solutions raise complex questions. While medication can ease rejection's devastating pain, serotonin-regulating drugs may diminish our capacity for deep attachment and desire-potentially "zombifying our love life." More importantly, medication obscures whether the problem lies with the patient or their life circumstances. Alice's story illustrates this complexity. Despite taking SSRIs for bipolar disorder, she became obsessed with Slater, her art teacher. Their intense flirtation provided her only sexual outlet in a marriage where her husband hadn't kissed her deeply in ten years. Though their interaction remained platonic, Alice experienced it as "this whole sexual intellectual high"-an exhilarating connection absent from her controlled, infantilized existence with her protective husband. When Alice confessed her feelings, her husband threatened divorce, sending her spiraling into depression. Though she sometimes views her obsession as chemistry linked to her bipolar disorder, it also revealed what was missing in her circumscribed life. Her fixation wasn't truly about Slater but about her repressed creativity, sexuality, and independence. Seeing romantic obsession merely as pathology closes a psychological window. The "sick" versus "healthy" love dichotomy often masks what's inconvenient and messy. By dismissing romantic obsession as a tumor to excise, we ignore what our longing might be trying to tell us about our deeper needs and unfulfilled potential.

6장

Gender Reversal: When Women Pursue Like Men

Before becoming obsessed with B., I established a playful gender role reversal that intensified as my obsession took hold. I became "the steadfast knight" while B. played "the girlie game" of keeping me guessing between devotion to his girlfriend and attraction to me. During our brief physical encounters, I felt a clock ticking before his "tortured conscience" would make him stop. Our gender-bending banter continued, with B. once joking about being "such a cock tease"-a comment that unsettled me because it felt appropriate. I experienced male desire's mind-consuming insistence, feeling like I was becoming Stanley from "Streetcar," bellowing my beloved's name without caring who heard. Research suggests a neurobiological basis for this experience. Studies show testosterone increases in women and decreases in men during love, potentially bringing the sexes closer together. Women become hormonally more "masculine" when love-struck, with increased cortisol (stress hormone) levels that prime the body for action-especially in unrequited situations lacking the calming hormones present in reciprocated relationships. This hormonal shift challenges the cultural ideal that women should be pursued, not pursuers. Historically, lustful "boy chasers" were considered not fully female-Hippocrates even believed desire could physically transform women into men. Female desire, like freedom to travel alone or have adventures, belonged to men's domain. Some women adopted male disguise to pursue love, like Shakespeare's cross-dressing heroines or Victor Hugo's daughter Adele, who followed her obsession dressed in men's clothes. Adele Hugo's story reveals how female pursuit often represents more than just winning love-it's about escaping constraints and seizing control. Despite today's freedoms, our culture still views female initiators as somehow manly or "behavioral cross-dressers." Dating advice warns women against acting "too masculine" by initiating contact, though research shows women initiate about 40% of heterosexual relationships, with both genders using similar pursuit behaviors. The persistent courtship double standard stems from evolutionary psychology's "parental investment theory"-women supposedly evaluate mates based on resources while men compete as pursuers. But this oversimplifies reality, as females in many mammal species initiate mating. Female pursuit increases when reproductive circumstances change-as women age or when men are scarce (like on college campuses). Ultimately, romantic pursuit reflects adaptation to perceived mate scarcity rather than fundamental gender differences-yet while we accept female determination professionally, female perseverance in love still rankles.

들리는 모든 단어를 눈으로 확인하세요

짝사랑의 심리학의 각 단어가 오디오에 맞춰 실시간으로 강조되어 편하게 따라 읽을 수 있습니다.

7장

The Dark Side: When Pursuit Becomes Predation

Patricia, a mid-fifties former Southern belle with a proud edge, revealed her obsessive pursuit of a man called "Wolf" after their affair ended. Despite being married with a son, she stalked Wolf when he broke things off-hiding in his sailboat, writing poems in nail polish on the wood, stealing items, and making midnight cocaine-fueled drives to his home where she'd "mark her territory" by urinating near his door. When Wolf began seeing someone else, Patricia tracked them to Lake Tahoe, bringing her unsuspecting husband along under false pretenses. There, she vandalized property, confronted Wolf violently, and was eventually arrested with a restraining order issued against her. Later, she created disturbing revenge art featuring Wolf's image with a hyena face and displayed it publicly with her husband and son present. Her story exemplifies the narcissistic obliviousness that can overtake women who cross into stalking behavior, yet society often gives these women a "gender pass," viewing their actions as merely nutty rather than dangerous. Researchers and psychologists use "gender-flipping" to help women recognize the seriousness of female stalking behavior. When asked to imagine the same actions performed by the opposite gender, women's perceptions change dramatically. The author admits her own invasive behavior toward B. seemed less threatening until she imagined a man acting as she had. Similarly, in violence-prevention programs, young women who initially celebrated female vengeance changed their views when asked to consider the same behaviors performed by men. Women in pursuit often focus narcissistically on how they've been wronged, unable to see how they might be harming their targets-a trance that men fall into despite social warnings against aggression, while women receive no such cautions. Luke's story continues with the dangerous escalation of Dara's stalking. When she came to retrieve shirts from his house, she deliberately threw herself face-first onto his concrete porch, bloodied her nose, and called 911 falsely claiming Luke had hit her. Only the intervention of neighbors who witnessed her self-harm saved Luke from arrest. Though offered the chance to press charges, Luke declined, simply wanting her gone. The incident left lasting trauma-despite his new relationship, he lives with constant fear it could happen again. This exemplifies the contradictory state of male stalking victims who often minimize their experiences as merely "annoying" rather than threatening, becoming invisible victims even to themselves. Men face unique challenges as stalking targets: societal expectations to handle problems themselves, humiliation at fearing a woman perceived as less dangerous, and the tendency for female aggression to be viewed as humorous rather than threatening.

8장

Crushes: The Developmental Value of Unrequited Love

I watch my daughter dance in her role as part of the Little Mermaid ensemble, contemplating how Ariel sacrifices her voice and identity for love. This fairy tale embodies the perils of unrequited love-self-sacrifice that I dread my daughter might one day experience. Yet as I've examined unrequited love throughout this book, I've come to see its potential value. Ariel's "I wish" song represents the quintessential adolescent state of yearning for transformation and new possibilities. Perhaps crushes aren't threats to girls' emerging selves but opportunities for growth. The term "crush" originated in the 19th century to describe crowded social gatherings where young people might accidentally brush against potential romantic interests. Today's digital world has transformed these dynamics, with teens analyzing romantic intentions through social media behaviors like Instagram likes and subtweets. These communications serve dual purposes: minimizing vulnerability through ambiguity or amplifying feelings by making them public. Unlike historical technologies that came with clear usage protocols, today's teens navigate digital romance without shared expectations. Adolescent crushes represent a normal developmental milestone. By age fourteen, nearly every girl has experienced at least one crush, with girls typically developing these feelings earlier than boys due to earlier puberty onset. These early crushes help adolescents transition from ignoring the opposite sex to imagining relationships with them. Young teens typically crush on acquaintances rather than close friends, spending more time fantasizing than pursuing actual relationships. As teens mature, their fantasies become more goal-oriented and action-driven. Crushes provide a safer emotional space than early relationships, which can negatively impact academics and mental health. Adolescents in relationships are highly susceptible to their partner's influence, often experiencing lower grades, higher depression rates, and increased stress. Crushes, by contrast, offer an emotional cocoon where teens can experience intense feelings without the complications of mutual relationships. They serve as preparation for future intimacy, allowing teens to develop emotional capacity without premature relationship demands. Psychotherapist Carl Pickhardt identifies many adolescent infatuations as "identity crushes"-attractions to people who embody what teens aspire to become. These crushes reveal more about the admirer than the admired. The author recalls her own teenage crush on a sophisticated Manhattan boy named David, recognizing her attraction was intertwined with her desire to escape small-town limitations. Such crushes represent not just romantic yearning but a form of self-creation, as teens project desirable characteristics onto their objects of affection.

짝사랑의 심리학에서 더 많은 것을 얻으세요

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9장

Unrequited Love as Transformational Catalyst

Unrequited love can transform suffering into creative power. The neural maps for beauty and love literally overlap in the brain, making the leap from romantic pursuit to artistic creation natural for those experiencing rejection. Studies show people with high needs for uniqueness often become more creative after social rejection-their outsider identity fuels innovation. Isadora Duncan exemplified this after experiencing romantic rejection twice in France. When a dinner with champagne and roses ended with her admirer fleeing, and another suitor backed away from consummating their relationship, she channeled her disappointment into dance. "This last shock," she wrote, "had a decided effect on my emotional nature, turning all its force toward my Art which gave me the joys which Love withheld." She developed her influential dance philosophy based on movement originating from "the central spring" in the body rather than the spine. For the author, transformation came not through artistic achievement but personal growth. After her obsession with B. ended, she established a simple rule: "You can't want anyone who isn't good to you." This led her to meet her future husband weeks after B. cut contact. Other women similarly found their unrequited love pushed them toward necessary life changes. Careena's intense six-month obsession with Sharon, despite never having been attracted to women before, ended her fifteen-year marriage and led her to discover her true sexuality. Eleanor, a 56-year-old widow who had resolved never to love deeply again, found herself obsessed with a much younger Indian colleague. Rather than acting destructively as she had in her youth, she managed her feelings with mature restraint, eventually confessing them without expectations before he returned to India. Both women's stories demonstrate how unrequited love can serve as a catalyst for growth when approached with self-awareness and discipline-much like how religious mystics like Teresa of Avila channeled spiritual passion within structured devotion.

10장

Finding Peace: The Journey Beyond Obsession

Lina's transformation began when she finally recognized that her relationship with Bartolo left her in a "constant state of longing." After being repeatedly disappointed-including being kicked out of his home with her daughter and abandoned during trips-she reached her breaking point when he put her on a bus to the airport rather than driving her there. In the airport lounge, feeling emotionally and financially depleted, everything changed when a "beautiful blue-eyed" man named Oliver sat nearby. They discovered they were seated next to each other on the plane-a coincidence that delighted her-and talked the entire flight. Though he was twenty years younger, she felt an "immediate, unconditional" love, but crucially different from her obsession with Bartolo: she didn't need anything from Oliver. Their relationship developed into something beyond friendship but not quite romance. When Oliver suffered a life-threatening motorcycle accident, Lina visited him in the hospital and whispered her feelings while his family was already speaking of him in past tense. Shortly after she left, he opened his eyes. Though they briefly tested physical boundaries, Lina realized their relationship wasn't meant to be sexual. "Oliver primes me for great love," she explained. "To love, I have to take care of my own emotional life, and he helps me do that." This experience taught Lina that unrequited love needn't be dismissed as delusion-it can be intense, fruitful feeling without expectations. As the author watches her daughter play with Lina's daughter, she contemplates how we might better prepare children for romantic relationships. While relationship education won't eliminate unrequited love-nor should it completely-teaching young people about romantic obsession and how to handle it with dignity could help them navigate these powerful emotions. The author shares bits of her own obsession story with her daughter as a cautionary tale, though Clara insists, "I'm not going to get obsessed with a boy like you did, Mommy." Whether this proves true or not, maintaining an open dialogue about unrequited love might help her daughter navigate these challenges when they inevitably arise.

★★★★★

짝사랑의 심리학 완독을 축하합니다

100만 명 이상의 학습자가 사랑합니다

“23일째 매일 사용하고 있어요. 이제 제 일상의 한 부분이 되었습니다.”

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짝사랑의 심리학의 핵심 주제

romantic obsession
female desire
unreturned affection
gendered double standards
stalking behavior

짝사랑의 심리학의 명언

Wanting, not having, generates the most powerful emotions.
Rejecters often indulge their admirers.

짝사랑의 심리학의 등장인물

Lisa A. PhillipsAuthor and narrator who shares her own obsession
B.The man who was the object of the author's pursuit
KatherineA woman whose cycles of love reveal emotional truth
Taylor SwiftMusician cited for exploring rejection's potential
Lady GagaArtist who credits rejection with making her a fighter

저자 소개

*짝사랑: 여성과 낭만적 집착(Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession)*의 저자인 리사 A. 필립스(Lisa A. Phillips)는 관계, 정신 건강, 사랑의 심리학 분야의 전문성으로 명성 높은 수상 경력의 저널리스트이자 교수입니다.

전직 공영 라디오 기자인 필립스는 에드워드 R. 머로우 상(Edward R. Murrow Award)을 4회 수상했으며, 철저한 조사와 공감 어린 스토리텔링을 결합하여 갈망과 정서적 회복력이라는 주제를 탐구합니다. 그녀의 작업은 뉴욕 타임스(The New York Times), 워싱턴 포스트(The Washington Post), 사이콜로지 투데이(Psychology Today) 등에 게재되었으며, NPR과 오프라 데일리(Oprah Daily) 같은 매체에 정기적으로 통찰을 제공하고 있습니다.

필립스는 뉴욕주립대 뉴팔츠(SUNY New Paltz)에서 저널리즘과 인기 세미나인 "사랑과 이별(Love and Heartbreak)"을 가르치고 있으며, 이곳에서 학술적 연구와 현실 세계의 정서적 과제를 잇는 학제간 접근법을 선보이고 있습니다. 그녀는 또한 *공영 라디오: 목소리 너머(Public Radio: Behind the Voices)*와 출간 예정인 가이드북 *첫사랑: 십대들의 관계와 이별 안내서(First Love: Guiding Teens Through Relationships and Heartbreak)*의 저자이기도 합니다.

*짝사랑(Unrequited)*은 필립스의 수십 년에 걸친 저널리즘적 탐구와 인간 행동에 대한 미묘한 이해를 바탕으로 낭만적 집착에 대한 획기적인 분석을 제시했다는 찬사를 받아왔습니다.

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Make a Disinterested Woman Obsessed

This learning plan is essential for men who feel stuck in the friend zone or struggle with unrequited interest. It provides a strategic framework for rebuilding your self-image and mastering the subtle art of emotional tension to change how you are perceived.

3 h 18 m•4 섹션

학습 계획

Reclaiming Yourself in the Affair

This plan is designed for those feeling lost in the complexity of being the 'other woman' and seeking to regain their autonomy. It provides the psychological tools necessary to break emotional cycles and shift from a state of waiting to a future of self-respect and availability.

2 h 30 m•4 섹션

학습 계획

Why people become obsessed with with someone

This course is essential for anyone struggling with repetitive, intense relationship cycles or those seeking to understand the biological roots of infatuation. It provides a roadmap for individuals looking to transition from anxious, obsessive attachments to secure and emotionally stable connections.

5 h 34 m•4 섹션

학습 계획

The Chase Instinct: From Panic to Self-Possession

This plan is essential for anyone caught in reactive relationship cycles of pursuit and withdrawal. It provides the psychological tools needed to transform frantic impulses into calm, grounded self-possession.

1 h 24 m•3 섹션

학습 계획

Break free from limerent obsession patterns

This plan is designed for individuals who feel trapped in cycles of obsessive longing or emotionally draining relationships. It provides a science-backed roadmap to healing attachment wounds and reclaiming emotional autonomy from codependent patterns.

4 h 25 m•4 섹션

학습 계획

Rebuild motivation after romantic rejection

Romantic rejection can be neurologically paralyzing, often stalling personal and professional progress. This plan is designed for anyone struggling to regain their drive after a breakup, providing a roadmap to transform emotional pain into self-actualization.

4 h 49 m•4 섹션

샌프란시스코에서 컬럼비아 대학교 동문들이 만들었습니다

LOVED BY

1,000,000+ curious minds.

4.7

avg rating

1M+ learners

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

웹에서 BeFreed가 어떻게 논의되고 있는지 더 보기

샌프란시스코에서 컬럼비아 대학교 동문들이 만들었습니다

LOVED BY

1,000,000+ curious minds.

4.7

avg rating

1M+ learners

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

웹에서 BeFreed가 어떻게 논의되고 있는지 더 보기

지금 바로 학습 여정을 시작하세요

2장

짝사랑의 심리학

개요짝사랑의 심리학 개요

한 권의 책, 다양한 듣기 방식.

When Love Isn't Returned: The Transformative Journey Through Unrequited Desire

The Unwanted Woman's Paradoxical Power

들리는 모든 단어를 눈으로 확인하세요

The Sweet Torment of Unsatisfied Desire

The Persistence Script: When Determination Becomes Delusion

짝사랑의 심리학에서 더 많은 것을 얻으세요

The Doubting Madness: When Love Becomes Obsession

Gender Reversal: When Women Pursue Like Men

들리는 모든 단어를 눈으로 확인하세요

The Dark Side: When Pursuit Becomes Predation

Crushes: The Developmental Value of Unrequited Love

짝사랑의 심리학에서 더 많은 것을 얻으세요

Unrequited Love as Transformational Catalyst

Finding Peace: The Journey Beyond Obsession

짝사랑의 심리학 완독을 축하합니다

짝사랑의 심리학의 핵심 주제

짝사랑의 심리학의 명언

짝사랑의 심리학의 등장인물

저자 소개

짝사랑의 심리학 요약 다운로드

다른 사용자들도 좋아한 책

이 책에 대한 FAQ

What is Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession about?

Who should read Unrequited?

Is Unrequited worth reading?

What are the main themes in Unrequited?

이 학습 계획의 일부

Why people become obsessed with with someone

더 알아보기

1,000,000+ curious minds.

1,000,000+ curious minds.

한 권의 책, 다양한 듣기 방식.

When Love Isn't Returned: The Transformative Journey Through Unrequited Desire

The Unwanted Woman's Paradoxical Power

들리는 모든 단어를 눈으로 확인하세요

The Sweet Torment of Unsatisfied Desire

The Persistence Script: When Determination Becomes Delusion

짝사랑의 심리학에서 더 많은 것을 얻으세요

The Doubting Madness: When Love Becomes Obsession

Gender Reversal: When Women Pursue Like Men

들리는 모든 단어를 눈으로 확인하세요

The Dark Side: When Pursuit Becomes Predation

Crushes: The Developmental Value of Unrequited Love

짝사랑의 심리학에서 더 많은 것을 얻으세요

Unrequited Love as Transformational Catalyst

Finding Peace: The Journey Beyond Obsession

짝사랑의 심리학 완독을 축하합니다

다른 사용자들도 좋아한 책

이 학습 계획의 일부

Why people become obsessed with with someone

더 알아보기

짝사랑의 심리학 개요